Lady of Shalott
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: Anna Smith is the newest instructor at Downton Ladies' College and one of her students, Emmaline Bates, immediately identifies with her and they form a strong friendship. Little could either of them know, Anna will form a much stronger friendship with someone else. Someone like Emmaline's father, John Bates.
1. Downton Ladies' College

She paced inside the station, hands rubbing over one another as she waited. Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned, almost launching herself into the other woman's arms. They embraced one another, only pulling away when the necessity of breathing forced them to do so.

The taller of the two caught her breath and smiled at the first woman. "It's been far too long Anna."

"You're telling me Mary. Three years is far too long."

"I'm convinced if I hadn't told you about this opportunity I don't think I ever would've come back to England."

Anna shrugged, "I wouldn't have had a reason to. I had a good position in Halifax."

"You know it's not as wonderful as people claim." Mary shuddered, "It's more like America than it is here even if they keep the King's face on all their money."

"That's hardly fair."

"It doesn't matter." Mary waved a hand, "You're here now, you've got your luggage tickets, and it's time we were going or else we'll never get there in time."

Anna picked up her handbag and bag, luggage tickets clutched in a fast grip around the handle of her suitcase, she followed Mary out to the queue for the cabs. Mary motioned her around the throng to a car and summoned two of the porters. She handed over the tickets from Anna and then climbed into the back of the car.

"They'll just be a minute and then we're off." Mary settled back into her seat, taking Anna's hand in hers. "You've no idea how happy I am you took the position."

"It was either that or sign a contact to extend my position at the ladies' college in Halifax for another five years and I couldn't do it."

"Did you not like it there?" Mary frowned, "All your letters said you enjoyed it immensely. If you didn't-"

Anna lifted a shoulder. "I loved Nova Scotia and I'd return there in a heartbeat but it didn't feel right any longer." She gestured out the window, "This is home for me and I was starting to lose my accent."

Mary laughed, "Well we can't have that can we?" The driver climbed into the car and Mary leaned forward, "Downton Ladies' College please Pratt."

They drove away from the station and Anna finally studied the car. "I didn't think your father'd ever trust you out with the family motor."

Mary bit her lip, "It's not Papa's."

"What?"

"This is my car."

"Your car?"

"Well," Mary gesticulated with her hands, "Matthew uses a bicycle to get himself from the house to his office in Ripon every day so I use the motor more than he does for work but it's also about how it looks."

"Are the ladies at this college really so judgmental?"

Mary raised an eyebrow at Anna, "I'm surprised your ladies and their insufferable mothers never gave you grief about it."

"I knew there was a degree of politics to it but they were overjoyed to have someone from England come." Anna paused, "There was an English literature instructor in Kingsport that did have a bit of a time of it."

"Really?"

Anna nodded, "She'd been recommended by the head of the board but the socio-political powers that be hated what she represented."

"Small-town values?"

"A threat to their authority and total dominance over everything in Kingsport." Anna sighed, "I only visited there once for an interview after she left her position because they wanted to offer me the post."

"Would you've taken it?"

"I was close to giving them my positive answer when I received your telegram."

Mary gave a self-satisfied smirk, "Then I'm glad my offer was better."

"Your offer was home, Mary." Anna let her face get serious, "Tell me about the girls then."

"Most of them live locally. Those that board, the ones you'll be in charge of in off hours and on the weekends, come from all over. Ninety percent of our student body are upper class, which means they've got the egos between them to fill a ballroom with more hot air than a balloon."

Anna rolled that around her mouth, "How are they about respect?"

"They'll obey. The majority of them are well-bred, manners wise, and the few that aren't tend toward the sarcastic and the petty. The real trouble makers don't stand a chance against the headmistress."

"Why not?"

"She's battle ax, no two ways about it, but she's just." Mary snorted, "There's no mercy to her but she treats the girls there on academic scholarship with the same level of just punishment as she does those with inherited titles."

"What does the board do with her?"

"Nothing."

Anna cringed, "And the families?"

"They've learned to accept it." Mary nodded her head to the side, "Some of the mothers take a bit of umbrage to their precious angels getting the strap or being treated like pedestrians but you'd be surprised how many of the fathers believe their children are right brats and needed someone to strike some sense into them."

"I guess the governess and the tutor aren't what one would want anymore."

"Pfft," Mary batted the thought away, "All one learns from a governess is poor French and prejudice. And most of these girls, if they want to be understood by a foreigner, shout."

"Those are the girls we're supposed to educate."

"Those are the girls you'll teach. Whether or not they leave with an education is entirely dependent on their own interests." Mary sighed, "Ah, there it is."

Anna leaned slightly over Mary, smiling at the sight of the veritable castle raising its turrets to the sky. "I think I forgot how beautiful it was."

"How long's it been since we lived in those dormitories and tried to sneak back inside without Matron knowing?" Mary pulled at Anna's arm and they giggled before settling. Mary sighed, "How'd have seen us back here, helping a new generation?"

"Not me." Anna smiled at the sight of Downton Ladies' College. "Not me."

"Well," Mary took a deep breath, "We're here now and we're going to do marvelous things together."

"I certainly hope we will."

They came to the front doors, the gravel spitting a little in the motor's wheels on the drive. Mary opened the door, leading Anna out, and opened her arms at it. "Welcome back to Downton Ladies' College."

Anna smiled, "Welcome back indeed."


	2. Emmaline

A sharp voice drew Anna from her reverie and she noted the way Mary's hackles rose slightly. A woman, with a face like thunder, stood in the opened front doors with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. The black dress she wore hung to her like the fabric had simply given up on living but matched the woman's mat of brown-red hair, restrained like a prisoner behind her head in a bun almost as severe as her expression.

"We weren't expecting you so soon Mrs. Crawley."

"I'm sure you weren't Ms. O'Brien." Mary stepped to the side to give Anna the floor, "This is Anna Smith, the English literature instructor."

"She's also the history instructor and Assistant Matron if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes," Anna moved her handbag to her left hand, extending her right, "A pleasure to meet you Ms. O'Brien."

O'Brien sniffed at Anna's hand, not taking it. "We'll see what kind of pleasure it actually turns out to be when classes begin tomorrow, won't we?"

She walked away and Anna dropped her hand in time with her jaw. Gaping a moment Anna turned to Mary, struggling for words.

Mary nodded, "That's Headmistress O'Brien, brief and tart as unnecessarily usual."

"I don't think I've ever had someone that abrupt with me on my first day." Anna thought about it a moment, "Or ever."

"As I said, she's fair to all so we keep her as our headmistress. Anyone else would bow and scrape to the girls whose parents will give them titles and money when they grow up and forget the necessity of serving the girls who might be a little less blessed in their future lives."

"Am I supposed to bow and scrape to them?"

"You're supposed to do your job." Mary pointed up the stairs, "This way."

Anna caressed the bannister as they walked, smiling to herself as her fingers tripped over the familiar wood. "I always loved this bannister."

"I always wanted to slide down it."

"You did once." Both heads turned and Anna broke into a wide smile at the sight of the woman walking toward them. "It was two weeks before I caught both of you sneaking back in after you attended a dance in the village."

"We were none the worse for wear, Mrs. Hughes." Mary folded her arms over her chest, "And we performed well enough in our studies the next day."

"You were drunk, Lady Mary, there's no two ways about that." Mrs. Hughes chided and then opened her arms for Anna to hug her. "You could've knocked me over with a feather when Lady Mary told me she'd convinced you back over the pond to teach here."

"I thought it time for a change." Anna grinned, "And how are you?"

"I'm still Matron here so I guess very few things have changed for me."

"But this has." Anna caught Mrs. Hughes's hand, directing her attention to the ring. "And this ring is on a not-so-insignificant finger."

"Well," Mrs. Hughes blushed, "Mr. Carson and I tied the knot some time ago and I hadn't thought to write anyone about it since we didn't make a fuss."

"I would've made a fuss." Anna examined the ring, "It's gorgeous."

"It's plain."

"It's perfect," Anna insisted, "And since you're still Matron at least I know I have a friend and ally in this place."

"There are many friends and allies to be had here, Anna. Or," Mrs. Hughes covered her mouth, "Should I address you as 'Ms. Smith' now?"

"I'm sure I won't mind if you call me 'Anna' since I'm still calling you 'Mrs. Hughes'."

"But I don't want any of the girls to call you 'Anna'." Mrs. Hughes clapped her hands together, "If you don't mind I can take you to your room and show you where you'll be teaching."

"That'd be lovely." Anna turned to Mary. "I guess this is where we say goodbye for now?"

"Until the Autumn Ball." Mary pulled Anna in close for an embrace. "Before then Matthew and I should I have you for dinner."

"If either of us can spare the time." Anna released, "But I'm on a steep learning curve already."

"Then I won't hold you up." Mary nodded her head at Mrs. Hughes, "It's always a pleasure Mrs. Hughes."

"Yes it is Lady Mary." Mrs. Hughes waited for Mary to walk down the stairs before turning to Anna again. "I couldn't get you your old room, since it's a dorm for one of girls now, but I did get you one of our nicer ones."

"Any room is a room Mrs. Hughes." Anna paused, "Could I see my old room a moment?"

Mrs. Hughes smiled, "Of course. I'll just wait here."

Anna set her bag down, walking down the hall toward the girl's dorms, and knocked on the door. When no one answered she turned the knob, walking into the room. For a moment she stayed in the doorway, trapped there by her memories before she stepped into the room.

The smell was different but the bed sat in the same spot. Anna walked over to it, sitting on the edge, and breathed out. She closed her eyes and a memory replaced the walls before her. The sounds of the room filled her ears and Anna was back in her school years for a moment.

"Hello?" Anna opened her eyes, standing quickly. "I'm sorry are you the new girl this term?"

"In a way." Anna smoothed her skirt down, "I'm the new English literature and history instructor this term, Ms. Smith."

"Oh," The girl blushed, "I'm sorry for being rude."

"It's not rude." Anna waved a hand to hold off the girl's insistence. "I'm the one who was rude. Barging into your room without permission."

"No one was here." The girl entered, pulling her brown braid over her shoulder and stroking it like an unconscious, nervous habit. "I was excited, for a moment, I thought you might be someone to share the room with me but it seems I'll go another term alone."

"You've never had someone share the room with you?"

The girl shook her head, sitting on the other bed as Anna retook her seat. "None of the other girls want to sit with me. They think I'm a bad omen."

"Bad omen?" Anna frowned, "What age do we live in, the Elizabethan?"

The girl laughed, "I guess." She paused, "So, if you're the new instructor, why are you in my room?"

"It's a little awkward, actually." Anna laughed, "This used to be my room, when I boarded here, and I wanted a moment to remember life then."

"You boarded here?"

Anna nodded, patting her hands on the bed beneath her. "In this bed, actually. Lady Mary Crawley was in the one where you're sitting right now."

"Lady Mary? _The_ Lady Mary?"

"The very same." Anna sighed, looking around the room, "We shared so many secrets in this room. So many stories are sequestered in these walls."

The girl smiled and then her face fell a bit, "I wish I had someone to share a few secrets with. It's hard, being here all alone when you've no one to talk to."

"If you don't find me too forward," Anna put a hand out, covering the girl's. "You can always talk to me."

"I'd like that." She smiled, "I've not had a friend in a long time."

"No one here?"

She shook her head, "My grandmother lives in London so I visit her when we have half-term or at Christmas but otherwise I stay here."

"I did too." Anna took a deep breath, "I had an aunt, in the village, but she can't board me since she had a few children of her own."

"Where were your parents?"

"They lived in Whitby, raising a rare breed of sheep." Anna laughed, "What a thing for your parents to do yes?"

"My father's a sea captain so I don't see him very often."

"And your mother?"

She looked at the floor, "My mother died a few years ago."

"I'm so sorry." Anna put a hand to the girl's shoulder as she started to cry before moving to the girl's bed to hold her on her shoulder. "It's alright. You cry if you want."

"It's just been hard." She sniffed, wiping at her eyes under her glasses. "All the girls here think she died because of my father and they say I'm a bad omen because she died leaving me here."

"You had nothing to do with whatever accident took your mother." Anna pulled back enough to stroke a few of the girl's hairs out of her eyes. "And you're no one's bad omen."

"You don't even know me Ms. Smith. How can you say that?"

"Because no one is a bad omen." Anna rubbed the girl's arm. "I've a feeling you'll rise above all of this and be better than any of those other girls."

"Really?"

"Really." Anna stood up, "If I don't leave now Mrs. Hughes'll think I got lost in here or something."

"Thank you, Ms. Smith." The girl wiped her eyes again, "For listening."

"Thank you for letting me invade your room." Anna stopped at the door, "And I realized I'm rude again. I never asked your name."

"Emmaline." She held her hand out and Anna shook it. "Pleased to meet you Ms. Smith."

"And a pleasure to meet you Emmaline. I look forward to seeing you in class." Anna walked out of the room, returning to Mrs. Hughes in the hallway.

The older woman laughed, "You've got a look on your face like I just caught you doing something you shouldn't have been."

"I just ran into the girl who has my room now." Anna picked up her bag, "Do the other girls think she's a bad omen?"

"Oh, you're talking about Emmaline Bates." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, clicking her tongue against her teeth. "That poor girl is s dear and none of the other girls will give her a chance."

"Why not?" Anna followed Mrs. Hughes up another set of stairs. "She mentioned her mother died leaving her here. What does that mean?"

"Her mother was related to most of the families of the girls here and made a bit of a scandal when she ran off and married a Naval man."

"She did say her father's a sea captain."

"Captain Bates is almost an Admiral in the Royal Navy." Mrs. Hughes gave a laugh, "That's a bit more than a sea captain."

"Why was the family disappointed?"

"They thought she could've married someone better and chose not to." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "People don't understand that what draws two people together."

"What drew them together?"

"From what I saw? Youth and passion." Mrs. Hughes let out a breath. "You never saw a couple more at odds with one another than they were. It was like all the rage was left once they realized their passion was gone."

"And Emmaline was caught in the middle?"

"She was. Her father insisted she come here because he herd of the school's reputation through his friend, Lord Grantham."

"Mary's father?"

"The very same." Mrs. Hughes opened one of the doors. "Mrs. Bates disagreed, wanted her in London with her but Captain Bates thought she deserved to be away from them when they were having such difficulties."

"And the mother came to take her back?"

"She came to tell Emmaline she was leaving Emmaline's father. The dear girl cried in my office for an hour just to hear that her mother died in an accident when her motor skidded on the road trying to avoid a wagon."

Anna looked over her shoulder, as if she could see back to her old room. "That poor girl."

"It was one tragedy after the other when her grandmother got ill but she recovered. Comes up to visit on occasion, when Captain Bates comes to see Emmaline, since he can't make two trips to see both his mother and his daughter."

"Seems a devoted father."

"Every opportunity he gets he comes to see her." Mrs. Hughes sighed, pointing to the details of the room. "It's not much but it's bigger than what you had when you were here."

"It's more than enough." Anna set her bag down, taking a deep breath. "I guess we'll see if I'm enough tomorrow."

"If I knew that one of my students would come back to teach here, I would've chosen you, Anna." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on her shoulder, "You're more than enough for this challenge."

"We'll see."


	3. English and History Lessons

Anna arranged the books, adjusting just the one so they were in line with the desk. She paced the line of desks, mumbling to herself to keep her mind occupied. Just as she went for another circuit a clanging echoed through the room and she jumped.

The doors opened and Anna moved quickly to her desk at the front of the room as the seats filled with the deluge of girls. Chattering accompanied them, filling the momentary silence after the bell with the sounds of life and laughter. Anna smiled to herself a moment, lost in the memory of being in the same position, and the rapped her knuckles on her desk.

Most of the girls quieted, a few in the back lowering their voices to whispers. Anna clasped her hands in front of her, clearing her throat. The girls ignored her, continuing their twittering.

Anna pursed her lips a moment before walking down the line of desks to stand in front of the girls. They silence, both turning to her. Pointing behind her, toward the blackboard at the front of the room and her desk, Anna spoke.

"If you've something more important than what we're about to discuss then please, use the front of the room and address the class. It'll be far easier for me to listen to whatever you've got to say than to teach."

"It was important miss."

"Was, being the operative past tense form of the 'to be' word." Anna turned to the dark-haired girl. "What's your name?"

"Braithwaite. Edna Braithwaite."

"Well, Edna, I'm sure whatever you wanted to discuss with your friend here is only loosely related to our lesson today. If it's important than take it to the hall and then come back. If not, wait until your free period."

"But miss-"

Anna raised a hand, stopping her argument. "Ms. Braithwaite, is it important or not?"

"No miss."

"Then it can wait." Anna walked back to the front of the class, pivoting to address them. "What can't wait is an introduction. I'm Ms. Smith and I've recently returned to Downton Ladies' College from a few years teaching in Halifax. If you're not familiar with the name it's in Nova Scotia, Canada."

"Why'd you leave miss?" The other girl raised her hand, speaking with a louder voice than necessary in the smaller room.

"I'm a Yorkshire girl miss-"

"Bunting, Sara Bunting, Ms. Smith." Sara shrugged, "Surely it's better to be away from here."

"It all depends on your perspective."

"Then why leave in the first place miss?"

Anna paused, rolling the question around her mouth before answering. "I wanted a different experience and I took the opportunity. When this one came I couldn't say no when it felt like the right decision."

"To teach English at Downton?"

"To come home, Ms. Bunting." Anna opened her hands toward the class, "I once sat I the very seats you now occupy as a student here. I learned in these rooms and studied in the halls with my friends like you do."

"Not all of us have friends." Edna snorted, turning in her seat enough to face Emmaline Bates, sitting in the seat to her left. "Emmaline here has not friends."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"It is true miss. It's not good to befriend a bad omen." Edna pulled a smile that left Anna suppressing a shudder.

"How long have you spent in school, Edna?"

"Since I was five."

"Pity." Anna turned to the board, picking up a piece of chalk as Edna called out from the back of the class.

"What's a pity miss?"

"Oh," Anna tried to pretend it was a comment that meant nothing, "Just that you've spent so long in school and are still so ignorant. It must be a comfort to know that the only expectation held for someone like yourself is to marry rich since education has obviously done you no good."

The group of girls gasped and Anna turned back to the board, writing something quickly there before setting the chalk back in its place. "We'll start with Shakespeare and then I've a small geography exam, to assess your knowledge."

"We're not due to start Shakespeare until next term miss." Sara spoke up, "That's how the curriculum works."

"Traditionally, yes, but that curriculum was designed by you former English and History instructor. Given the change in lecturer it stands to reason that they'll be changes in how we'll manage the term." Anna gestured to the stack of books on her desk, "Emmaline, would you help me distribute these to the class?"

Emmaline went to stand but tripped forward into the aisle. Anna looked up, watching Edna sneak her foot back under her desk, smirking to herself. Before Anna could go to help Emmaline stand, Sara put a hand under her arm to help her up.

"Thank you." Emmaline adjusted her spectacles, making sure they sat right on her nose, and came to Anna's desk.

"Start on the other side of the room and I'll meet you in the middle." Anna advised, taking her stack to start with Edna. "And you can stay after class to clean the desks at the end of the lesson today."

"I'm afraid I can't miss, I have a previous engagement."

"Then you'll just have to miss it." Anna placed the books on the desks, speaking over her shoulder to Edna.

"I can't. It's a society benefit and my mother's expecting me."

"And you can explain your tardiness to her with the appropriate apologies I'm sure." Anna started down the next aisle, placing the last book to Emmaline's desk. "I don't wonder that she'll be disappointed when you tell her why you had to stay behind."

"She'll be more disappointed when I'm not there. Punctuality is important to us."

Anna nodded, "More important than respect for your classmates or your teachers, I'm sure."

"It's our reputation on the line miss."

"It won't be more sullied, I'm sure." Anna pointed to the book on Edna's desk, "We're all turning to page three now and I'll see you after class."

"I simply can't stay miss."

"Then you'll have to take the strap instead." Anna walked the aisle back to her desk, her long skirt swishing over the floor. "It's your choice Edna."

"Then I'll take the strap."

Anna held Edna's belligerent stare before walking to her desk drawer, pulling it out to remove a leather strap in the top drawer. "Then come to the front of the room."

"Ms. Smith, you can't." Sara argued.

"I actually can, Ms. Bunting, and since Ms. Braithwaite refused the easier option to serve her punishment for disrespecting her classmate and her instructor, this is the punishment."

Edna walked to the front of the room with her head held high, presenting her left hand. "I'm ready for my punishment."

Anna clenched her jaw, holding the strap in her hand. With a deep breath she brought the strap down on Edna's hand. The girl blinked and flinched while the class members gave their various gasps of surprise.

Holding Edna's gaze Anna smacked twice more. When she withdrew the strap, Anna nodded back to Edna's seat. Edna withdrew her hand but did not move.

"Return to your seat and open your book to page three like everyone else." Edna marched back to her seat and Anna replaced the strap in her desk drawer. She paused, taking a deep breath as she faced the class. "Page three begins our discussion of _King Lear_. We'll be covering the tragedies this term and since there's much to get through I expect you all to keep up. This won't be easy."

By the end of the lesson Anna thought the exhaustion gathered on her shoulders. The bell startled her again but she tightened her hand on the desk instead of jumping. Everyone gathered their things and Anna pulled the door open for their orderly exit.

Emmaline hung back, waiting for the room to empty. "Thank you, Ms. Smith."

"For Shakespeare?" Anna asked, leaning on her desk.

Emmaline hugged her books closer to her chest, shaking her head, "No, for coming to my defense."

"I believe in treating people kindly, Emmaline. When others are not treated as they deserve I believe in doing something about it."

"I also wanted to thank you, again, for what you said to me yesterday." Emmaline smiled, "It cheered me up and gave me the strength to even face today."

"Then it's my sincere pleasure to be of help." Anna put a hand to the girl's shoulder. "Don't hesitate to ask me if you need anything. Now go or you'll be late to your next class."

"Thank you Ms. Smith." Emmaline hurried from the room and Anna returned to her desk.

Two more bells signaled the lunch hour and Anna collected her things before walking to the staff dining room. She blinked at the number of people gathered there but took the seat Mrs. Hughes motioned her towards. Sliding into it, Anna leaned over to whisper to her, "You've no idea the comfort it brings me to not have to find a chair when the room's full of strangers."

"Making new friends is always hard." Mrs. Hughes agreed, directing Anna's attention around the table. "But I know all of them so you can benefit from my experience."

"I'm honored to call you my friend."

Mrs. Hughes waved Anna's compliment away, "That's Phyllis Baxter, our physical sciences instructor. Next to her is Joseph Moseley, our mathematics and advanced algebra teacher. He wants to start a course for calculus but we've so few girls interested in advanced maths there's no point."

"No one wants to study maths?"

"It's more that none of them have any idea what they'd do with it."

"What do any of us do with what we know?"

"True as it is, we're in the business of being relevant here with our education." Mrs. Hughes followed around the table, "Ms. Parks is dramatic arts and music while Mrs. Moorsum, next to her, teaches the home sciences."

"Mr. Moseley's the only male teacher?"

"We've got a boy who helps manage the riding classes but most of the girls don't choose outdoor activities as their extra curriculars."

"I'm sure some of them could use a little more time in the sunshine and a little less inside." Anna turned her attention to the rustle of plates as a rotund woman and a mousey girl entered the dining hall with dishes and food. "Mrs. Patmore!"

The woman put down the pot and embraced Anna. "I'd heard you were coming back but I didn't believe it."

"I'm here." Anna nodded toward the girl setting places at the table. "Who's your new protégé?"

"That's Daisy." Mrs. Patmore lowered her voice, "My real protégé is in the kitchen. Alfred's a wonderful cook. He's got more innate skill than anyone I've ever taught."

"Then he's in good hands." Anna confided, retaking her seat next to Mrs. Hughes. "Where's Mr. Carson these days Mrs. Hughes?"

"He still manages the board for the school since he's in charge of the appointments." Mrs. Hughes smiled to herself, "It's the job he needs. Telling other people what to do."

"He's good at it." Anna mused a moment, "I remember when he drilled chemical formulas into my brain so much so that all I could do at night to sleep was recite them to myself with the elements of the periodic table."

"He leaves an impression." Mrs. Hughes paused, "Not unlike yourself."

"How'd you mean?"

"It only took you one period to anger Edna Braithwaite."

"She tripped a fellow classmate and insulted her after insulting me."

"So you tell her she's not educated and give her the strap."

Anna met Mrs. Hughes's expression, "Should I apologize?"

"No, I think the girl needs a good spanking so I won't argue with your methods."

"However?"

"However I'm not sure you're going to find anything to change that girl around. Her family has too much money for her to suffer real consequences and she's smart enough to know that."

'Then she'll have to face as much of the real world as my class can give her." Anna reached for the serving spoon but Mrs. Hughes stopped her.

"Don't make enemies on your first day Anna."

"Enemies?"

"The Braithwaites are a powerful family in Downton. You may have Lady Mary Crawley on your side but even she's been known to bow to their demands."

"What are you saying? Bow to her like she's used to?"

"No." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "I'm saying be careful which battles you fight to the finish and which you fight to a draw. Know how to lose with grace and know when you need to step back."

"Surrender?"

"Never. Just realize that not all battles need be fought. There's a better battle later and when you can pick them with Edna Braithwaite then you're the real victor."

Anna nodded, a grin breaking over her face. "You're one of the most devious women I've ever met Mrs. Hughes."

"I'm a Scot. It's in the blood." Mrs. Hughes winked back at her.

"History at its finest."


	4. Breaking and Entering

Anna walked the grounds, monitoring the girls as they participated in their afternoon activities. She stepped out of the way as Emmaline rode a bike around the grounds. Risking one hand on the handlebars she waved at Anna, who returned it with a smile.

Continuing her route, Anna noted Edna and Sara tapping their croquet balls through the wire hoops as they exchanged conversation. Edna caught Anna's eye and dipped her head with a sarcastic smile. Anna pursed her lips a bit before nodding at Edna and turning back to run a head count on the other girls.

Just as her head turned back Anna heard a shriek. She whirled around on the spot and noted Emmaline lying on her back with the bike ten feet away from her. Sticking from the spokes in the wheel was the long handle of a croquet mallet.

Anna rushed over but Emmaline was already back on her feet. With speed Anna did not imagine girls as spoiled as them could possess, Emmaline chased Edna down. Their shouts and shrieks echoed as garbled noise even as Anna tried to close in on them.

They rounded the side of the college, Edna skidding in the muddy shale of the old servants' entrance as Emmaline wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and tackled her to the ground. In the corner of Anna's mind, the one not occupied with how to separate the scratching and slapping girls, wondered where Emmaline learned to rugby tackle. But all such thoughts fled as Anna slipped between the two girls and pulled Emmaline off Edna.

Emmaline's glasses were missing and there was a distinct scratch on the girl's cheek to match the muddy streaks on her uniform. However, as Anna dragged her far enough away to leave worries of reprisals , she noted the damage Emmaline did to Edna. The other girl, aided to her feet by a tutting Sara, held her nose as blood dripped through her fingers. One eye already puffed and Anna dreaded the result if Mrs. Patmore had no spare steaks to lend.

"What is going on here?"

Anna released Emmaline and faced Ms. O'Brien, the woman's eyebrows high and her lips pursed. "There was an incident."

"The bad omen attacked me." Edna blurted, her voice partially muffled through her hand.

"What?"

Edna released her hand, showing all the gathered girls her bloody nose and her puffy eye. Her finger quivered as she jabbed it in Emmaline's direction. "The bad omen attacked me."

"Only after you threw your croquet mallet into the spokes of my bike." Emmaline fired back, Anna's hand on her shoulder the only thing keeping her from charging at Edna again who, Anna noted with a tiny smile, stepped back into the protective embrace of Sara.

"You know that bikes are not allowed on the grounds, Ms. Bates." Ms. O'Brien whistled sharply through her teeth, summoning a young man to her side, "Andy, please find the bike and lock it up until Ms. Bates here can learn to follow the rules about appropriate recreation."

"That's it?" Edna squawked, ignoring the warning hand of her friend on her shoulder. "She's left me looking like this."

"I'm sure a steak on your eye and some water for your nose'll solve the problem, Ms. Braithwaite and I don't want to hear another word about it. Go see Mrs. Patmore and the Nurse Crawley and you'll be good as new." Ms. O'Brien turned to Anna, "If this is what you call order then I shudder to think about the state of your classroom."

"It's the best I could do given I'm watching a hundred girls at once, Ms. O'Brien."

"Then perhaps I should give you a copy of the rules as well, since you seem to've forgotten them since you where here." Ms. O'Brien gestured to the bike, "You should've known this was a prohibited item on the grounds and confiscated it before this situation escalated."

"I'm sure the situation wouldn't have escalated if Ms. Braithwaite could show some compassion toward her fellow students or even basic manners."

"We don't teach those things here, Ms. Smith. We teach Maths, English, History, the Physical Sciences, Music, the Dramatic Arts, and the Home Sciences. Everything else they either learn at home or at the whim of the world."

"Then perhaps our discipline should reflect a desire to actually prepare them for the real world."

"That's not up to you or I, Ms. Smith." Ms. O'Brien crossed her arms over her chest, "If you desire to make that kind of change I suggest you take it up with the Board. Though I doubt they'll do more than write it as a formal complaint… which is not something you want in your first year if you intend to stay here."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "Is that a threat, Ms. O'Brien?"

"That's a warning that you're here on the good graces of your reputation and the iron will of Lady Mary Crawley. You're staying here is at the whim of the Board, whose chief member is Ms. Braithwaite's father."

"Is that supposed to scare me?"

"It's supposed to curb you." Ms. O'Brien gathered herself, "Now please see to the injured and make sure the others won't faint at the sight of blood."

Anna shook her head, watching Ms. O'Brien leave and pivoted to see Emmaline on her knees in the grass. She bent to join her and noted how Edna stomped down on something before shooting Emmaline a dark look and walking toward the kitchens. With a frown Anna walked to where Edna stood and closed her eyes with a dejected sigh as she lifted the broken spectacles from the ground.

"Emmaline," She held them out to the other girl who took them with a sniff. "I'm sorry about these."

"It's not about that." Emmaline shrugged, "I've other spectacles. Papa always ensures I'll be alright while he's away so he won't worry about me as much."

"I'm sure he still worries."

"He does." Emmaline nodded, "Every letter he always writes so quickly his script smudges and it makes it hard to read but it's always the same questions. He always worries that I'll be lonely or that I'll get sick while he's so far away and it troubles him."

"Then what is it?"

"It's what Edna said before she threw the mallet into the spoke."

Anna put a hand on Emmaline's shoulder, rubbing there as the girl sniffed. "What is it?"

"She said my mother left because my Papa was unfaithful and that he doesn't come here because he'd rather be with the women he leaves in the ports than with me."

"That's not true."

"I know it's not but…" Emmaline wiped at the tears on her face, folding the crushed spectacles in her hand, "It's what they all think."

"In other circumstances I'd tell you to ignore them but I know that's what people say when they don't have an answer for you." Anna heard the bell and guided Emmaline back inside, "I thought you leaving her with a black eye and bloody nose was a much better response."

Emmaline laughed a little, "Papa would say so too… right before he'd warn me that's it's just telling them they know how to get to me."

"Is he the one who taught you how to hit like that?"

"Yes," Emmaline nodded, "He said that if he'd be away then he'd make sure I could defend myself."

"And the rugby tackle?"

"I learned that from my last school."

Anna snorted, "Which school teaches a girl that?"

"It was a secondary school in London. My grandmother wanted me there and my mother argued that it wasn't good enough for me so I was only there a year."

"Did they get on, your grandmother and your mother?"

Emmaline shook her head so fast Anna hoped the poor girl did not shake her brain. "They hated one another but since my mother couldn't be bothered to actually keep house and home my grandmother lived in the house with me and managed my education."

"I'm sure your father wasn't overly happy with that."

"He trusted my grandmother over my mother but by then they were already fighting all the time." Emmaline sighed, "I used to pray, at night, that one day my mother and father might love each other the way other people's parents seemed to but I don't think God heard me."

Anna took a deep breath, stopping them in the foyer of the front door. "Emmaline, I don't know how religious you are but I believe sometimes God has to let people choose for themselves."

"How'd you mean?"

"Sometimes it's not about Him not hearing our prayers but that He has to allow people to make their mistakes on their own." Anna shrugged, "Not everyone listens when God tells them to change."

"I guess not." Emmaline stepped back, "I'd best get on or Ms. Baxter might make me memorize the entire periodic table."

"Sounds atrociously difficult." Anna smiled, giving a sigh in Emmaline's departing direction before returning to her own classroom.

The knock at her bedroom door startled her from her reading and Anna almost dropped the book. Marking her page she set it to the side and pulled a shawl over her dressing gown before going to the door. She opened it to see Emmaline, the poor girls breathing heavily, and peeked into the hallway before motioning the girl inside.

"It's almost lights out, Emmaline, what are you doing up?"

"It's about the bike."

"What about it?"

"It's not mine." Anna raised an eyebrow and Emmaline hurried to explain. "I borrowed it from the grounds men, Pegg, and he needs it for his deliveries tomorrow morning."

"Deliveries?"

"He delivers flowers to the churches from the cuttings here." Emmaline tugged at Anna's hand. "If he doesn't have the bike he'll be punished and if they knew he lent it to me then he might be sacked."

Anna sighed, "Alright, where is Ms. O'Brien keeping it?"

"It's in the shed with all the rest of the tools for the grounds and where they keep the recreation equipment."

"Then why can't he retrieve it in the morning?"

"Because they don't start work until after breakfast but he delivers before that. They keep the cutting sin the greenhouse, not the shed."

"Okay," Anna held up a hand, pulling her shawl tighter and pacing a moment to think. "Who's got the key?"

"Ms. O'Brien, the groundskeeper, and Andy but Andy's gone for the night and Ms. O'Brien's asleep."

"What about the groundskeeper?"

"He's a frightening old gargoyle who sleeps in one of the back sheds."

Anna raised an eyebrow. "He does?"

"He's a genius with the topiary but he's funny, up here." Emmaline tapped on her temple.

"I'm sure Mr. Moseley's not that frightening."

"Mr. Moseley?" Emmaline frowned, "The Maths professor isn't-"

"No, his father."

"He's not been the groundskeeper since the Dowager took him as her gardener."

Anna groaned, "Alright, we'll figure this out."

They snuck out, following a path Anna remembered from her days as a student, and hurried over the dew slick lawn. Sliding slightly in the wet grass they stopped at the shed door. Anna bent down, examining the lock before cupping her hands over her face to investigate through the window.

"Is it there?" Emmaline hissed and Anna nodded, stepping back.

"It's right next to the pots but I don't know about the lock."

"You can't pick it?"

"It's not a skill set I taught myself." Anna caught sight of the roof, narrowing her eyes and tilting her head to see through the window again. "Is that a skylight?"

"They put it in so they could see when they work in there during the day."

"When'd they last replace the roof?" Anna examined the area around them as Emmaline fumbled for an answer.

"I think they replaced it last year. Why?"

"Because," Anna tested a stack of crates before pushing them over to the side of the shed and holding the side of the shed as she climbed on top of them. "This shed's right under a large tree that catches water and pours it like a waterfall during thunderstorms. That water, and the force of it, wears through the shingles and leaves rot in the beams underneath it. If they hadn't replaced it recently than it wouldn't hold my weight or yours."

"Ms. Smith!" Emmaline covered both of her hands with her mouth as Anna climbed onto the top of the roof and inched along to the skylight. "I can't."

"And I can't lift myself and a bicycle out of this shed all on my own now can I?" She jiggled the skylight loose and huffed a pleased sigh. "There we go."

Dropping through the skylight she landed nimbly enough to grab the frame of the bicycle and push it up through the hole. A pair of hands grabbed it, pulling it from her grasp until a little squeak of pleasure echoed outside. Anna dusted off her hands, grabbed at the shelves next to her, and scurried up them to the skylight.

With a heave she pulled herself up and out. The skylight banged shut and Anna froze on the roof but the shingles, slick with dew, gave beneath her and Anna tumbled off the roof. In that moment a second was an eternity and her life flashed before her eyes and Anna wished she had just stayed in bed.

Landing with a thud Anna struggled to regain her breath. Emmaline's hands wrapped hers, helping her to stand, and Anna gasped for air. As they both turned a torch shone in their faces and Anna lifted her hand to block the light and try to see the figure behind the light.

"I should've known you'd try something on your first day." Mrs. Hughes's comforting Scottish brogue let Anna attempt a sigh of relief as her lungs still battled to fill.

"Mrs. Hughes we're ever so-"

"I think you should hurry up and get yourself in bed, Ms. Bates, before I feel the need to write up that you're room is empty." Mrs. Hughes clicked her tongue against her teeth and she put her hand son the handlebars of the bicycle. "I'll make sure this gets where Young Pegg can find it shall I?"

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes." Emmaline shot a look at Anna, who only nodded, before running back to the dormitory.

Mrs. Hughes gave a chuckle before extending a hand to Anna. "Already teaching her your secret ways in and out of this place."

"I doubt very much… they're a secret from you, Mrs. Hughes." Anna managed, her hand on her chest but feeling less light-headed. "You always just let us think we were the only ones who knew."

"Don't go telling any of them that." The bicycle squeaked slightly between them as they walked back toward the school. "Though I'd risk a word of advice to you if I thought you'd listen to it."

"And what's that?"

Mrs. Hughes stopped, "Don't make an enemy of Ms. O'Brien. Frustrating Ms. Braithwaite is one thing but Ms. O'Brien has the grudging request of the Board and most of the parents of these girls. If she believes you're not helping this school but hindering it she'll do whatever's in her power to ruin you and your reputation. There'd be no school in the Common Wealth who'd take you."

"No one's that vindictive."

"She's worked and clawed for what she's got and she won't let anyone take it from her." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "Just don't go biting off more than you can chew by fighting so many battles on so many fronts."

Anna nodded, shaking her head up at the school, "It's all changed so much Mrs. Hughes. It wasn't this hard when I was a student here."

"It has changed but so've you." Mrs. Hughes put the crook of her finger under Anna's chin. "Keep this up and know that you're strong enough for what lies ahead."

"With your help how could I be anything less?"

"Indeed." Mrs. Hughes laughed. "Though you should probably do the rounds on the rooms before Ms. O'Brien realizes we're both complicit in breaking and entering."

"I think she'd be more offended over dereliction of duty." Anna walked back toward the school, "But I'll see to it Mrs. Hughes."

"Goodnight Anna."

The gallery was quiet and most of the dormitory rooms were already dark and the few that were not either held girls who fell asleep with the light on or crammed a bit of extra study in. Anna wished them all a goodnight, saving Emmaline's room for last. She gave a quiet rap on the door and entered at Emmaline's equally diminutive reply.

"I hope you're all settled now." Anna sat on the unoccupied bed, "Not too much excitement for you."

"You're the one who rolled off the roof."

Anna shrugged, "I've done worse."

Emmaline wrung her hands, "Thank you. For your help."

"Mrs. Hughes is the one you should thank since she didn't report on us." Anna grinned, putting her hand over Emmaline's, "But I'll take your gratitude all the same."

Without warning Emmaline threw her arms around Anna and embraced her. Anna paused a moment before returning the gesture. When Emmaline sat back Anna noted the tears in her eyes.

"There's not reason to cry. It's all been taken care of."

"It's not that." Emmaline sniffed, "I've just never had a friend before."

Anna rubbed the girl's shoulder, "Then I'm honored to be the first." They hugged once more before Anna stood and went to the door. "Sleep well Emmaline."

"You too Ms. Smith."

With a flick of the lights, the room went dark and all Anna heard as she closed the door was easy breathing.


	5. The Captain and Mrs Bates

Anna looked up from the book as Emmaline read aloud. She sighed when she noted Edna looking down at a box on her lap, the contents shifting and sliding, before allowing a grin to take over her face. Sara peeked over, the two giggling enough to distract the girls around them.

With a snap of her fingers all eyes turned to Anna, "Thank you Emmaline but it seems that Ms. Bunting or Ms. Braithwaite just can't wait for their turns to read."

Sara snapped back to her seat, reading right from where Emmaline left off but Edna held Anna's gaze. Anna walked down the aisle, tapping the edge of Sara's desk to stop her reading. Edna, to her credit, did not blink as Anna stopped in front of her desk.

"Are you ready to start reading Ms. Braithwaite?"

"I'm afraid I forgot my book today."

"And if I asked your friend to share hers with you, like you want to share whatever it is you have in that box, do you think she'd be as willing?"

"She's a generous person."

"And are you?"

Edna's eyes narrowed, "I don't know Miss. I don't know what it is you want me to share."

"How about the contents of that box?"

"It's not for sharing Miss."

"Then perhaps you should've thought of that before you brought it to class." Anna stepped back, pointing at the stove. "You can put it in there."

Edna paled a moment, shaking her head, "Oh no Miss Smith, I couldn't do that."

"Then it's a shame you brought it out in class." Anna snapped her fingers, "Now, Ms. Braithwaite, before I lose my patience and do it myself."

Edna swallowed, picking up the box and walking to the stove like it was her gallows. Anna felt a prickle at the back of her neck when Edna took a deep breath before shoving the box into the stove. In the next moment the girl was out the door.

"Why'd she running?" One of the other girls asked and Anna walked toward the stove.

In the next moment all hell broke loose as the door to the stove blew off and loud explosions filled the room. Smoke billowed from the stove and screams from the other girls made it difficult for Anna to form a plan of action. She called for the girls to hurry to the other side of the room as the door to the classroom opened.

A large man, standing head and shoulders taller than Anna, entered and immediately lifted the two closest girls off the floor and took them out. Others ran for it, stumbling over one another, and Anna worked through the fray to help those who fell stand on their feet. Someone grabbed her wrist and Anna turned to see Emmaline but before Anna could do anything the same man grabbed Emmaline around the waist and hefted her like she was no more than a feather.

Anna gaped a moment before checking under all the desks. One girl huddled between two seats and Anna crouched before her, covering her head as another bang echoed from the stove. She tugged the girl's hand but it trembled in her grip. With another explosion Anna lifted the girl into her arms and hurried from the room.

The klaxon of alarm bells rang through the building as all the girls filed out onto the grounds in various stages of panic. Anna gripped tightly to the girl in her arms, stumbling and trying to manage her new dimensions while working into the sunshine. As she did she finally caught sight of the man who rescued the girls in her classroom, noting the slight hitch in his step like he needed to cover a limp.

Once she reached the gravel, Anna allowed the girl her arms to drop to the ground and then tried to cry order to those screaming, crying, and quivering in their anxious states of fright. She caught sight of Emmaline as the man placed her gently on the ground but stayed back a pace when Emmaline threw her arms around the man's neck with a cry of "Papa!"

Anna took a deep breath, turning to the other teachers trying to rally their students and finally found the remnants of her class. She reached Edna just as Ms. O'Brien reached her and rolled her shoulders back to prepare for the onslaught. Edna shot Anna a self-satisfied smile but Anna only held her chin higher for it.

"I should've known it'd be you causing all the trouble." Ms. O'Brien took a deep breath, "Should I be grateful your classroom's not on fire?"

"I rather think you should ask Ms. Braithwaite about that." Anna shrugged, "They were her fireworks."

"Ms. Smith told me to put them in the stove and I warned her it would be a bad idea."

"Ms. Braithwaite failed to mention the contents of the box and used it as a distraction during my class."

"My, my," Ms. O'Brien looked between the two of them. "I rather think you've both met your match here and the best punishment for both of you is to stick you in a room together until I decide it's safe for others to enter."

"Ms. O'Brien you know what my parents-"

"I don't care what your parents would do about it." Ms. O'Brien sneered at Edna, leading the girl to cower back a pace. "In all honest I hope they do raise an issue about whatever I do decide for you so that I can then find grounds to get you out of my school and make it all a more peaceful place."

She turned to Anna, "And as for you, I'm sure you won't try running to your Mrs. Crawley about the idea that we'll be taking a percentage from your wages until your classroom is repaired."

"It won't take long and Mrs. Crawley knows I can fight my own battles." Anna held herself taller. "Whatever you expect me to do in this case, Ms. O'Brien, it won't be to grovel for your forgiveness for something that I only need take partial responsibility for."

"I'm glad someone's taking responsibility for this." All three women turned to see the man Emmaline claimed was her father. "This kind of disruption to my daughter's education is completely unacceptable and deplorable."

"Captain Bates I assure you this is not the day-to-day here at Downton."

"Even if it happens once in a blue moon, Ms. O'Brien, the risks to my daughter in this environment were far too great for me to not be concerned about her safety should she continue here."

"That's rather drastic Captain."

"It's the safety of my daughter, Ms. O'Brien, and whatever drastic measures I need to take to ensure she's safe I'll take without a second thought."

"Perhaps," Anna stepped forward, "I could prevail on your better judgment to trust that this won't happen again."

"Aren't you the one who led to this fiasco?"

"There are extenuating circumstances."

"I don't think there are." He clicked his heels and nodded to Anna and Ms. O'Brien, "I'm sure, in other circumstances, I might claim that this was a pleasure but I greatly doubt that. Good day."

He started to walk off but Anna grabbed her skirt and hurried after him, grabbing at his arm when he went to get into his motor. "Captain Bates I don't think you understand what happened here."

"I saw it for myself." He pointed toward the building, smoke still billowing out the windows of her classroom. "And given that I had to rescue my own daughter from whatever it was you caused I'd say she'd be safer on my ship during a storm than here."

"That's not true and a rather gross hyperbole." Anna swallowed, "Captain, I'm not sure what kind of letters Emmaline's written to you or what you've read but she needs this. She needs this school."

"Then you're not only incompetent at guaranteeing her safety but also at identifying the emotions and struggles of a girl in your charge if you can't tell she's been bullied and tormented here." Captain Bates called out to Emmaline and she hurried over. "Get in the car Emmaline. I'll send someone in the morning to collect your things and then we'll find you a new school."

"Papa I can't," She shot a look at Anna before meeting her father's eyes again. "I'm in the middle of term and we're-"

"I won't allow you to stay another minute here and I was wrong to bring you in the first place." He pointed to the car, "Please get in Emmaline."

She gaped, trying to look to Anna for help but climbed into the car. "Goodbye Ms. Smith. It was a pleasure to meet you."

"And you, Emmaline." Anna followed Captain Bates to his side of the motor. "Please, sir, allow me to-"

"I think you're said enough, Ms. Smith." He climbed into the car, "Now is the time for action, not words."

The engine of the motor turned over and Anna put her hands on her hips, staring at the car as it spun gravel turning out of the drive toward the village. As she turned back to her students she almost collided with a fuming Ms. O'Brien. The woman's arm shot out, quivering appendage aimed at the disappearing car.

"I do hope that's a temporary condition, Ms. Smith, because if we lose his contributions to this college they'll be more than Hell to pay before I'm through with you."

"Why don't you get the additional funds from Ms. Braithwaite's parents?" Anna shot back, "This was all her fault, in the end."

"Sharing dual responsibility is much better than bearing it alone, Ms. Smith, and I'll have you know I've no compunction about laying this at your feet."

"Or hanging it around my neck?"

"Precisely." Ms. O'Brien threw her hands in the air, "Fix it or find yourself a new position."

Anna watched Ms. O'Brien stalk back into the school before gathering her students. "Alright girls, back inside now."

The rest of the day seemed rather tame after that. Lessons remained subdued and all the girls jumped at any loud noises. Anna tried to get them all focused but they twittered and chattered with the same nervous energy that had hands shaking when they handed in their books or their assignments.

By the end of the night it was all Anna could do not to sigh obnoxiously loudly as she closed the last door. She turned to leave it, rubbing her eyes, but brightened slightly when she meet Mrs. Hughes at the end of the hall. "I think that's the last 'lights out' I need to give for the night."

"Don't tell me you're already tired of it?" Mrs. Hughes ribbed but Anna could only shrug and lean on the bannister that allowed them a view of the great hall below.

"How does one come up with a plan to restitute the funds about to be lost when Captain Bates pulls his daughter and his money from the running of this school?"

"By thinking outside the box." Mrs. Hughes settled near her. "I've known Emmaline a bit longer than you but you know her better than I do."

"Do I?" Anna scoffed, "I'm not sure knowing Emmaline is really the solution to a problem that involves her father."

"It's the whole solution to the problem Anna." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on her shoulder. "His whole purpose in bringing Emmaline here was for a markedly superior education at a safe location. His reason for taking his daughter off the premises this afternoon, by his own admission, was for her safety."

"The safety of the institution hasn't changed since this afternoon." Anna pointed at the doors. "And her tormentors still live and breathe."

"But so do you." Mrs. Hughes grinned, "Before you came to this place Emmaline was a bright student with many prospects but she bore the weight of who she was. After you came… well, I've never seen her happier."

"I'm not sure I can advocate to a Naval Captain that this place is better for his daughter because I'm here."

"Then don't advocate to him. Advocate to the only other person whose advice he'd take above his own."

"His mother lives in London."

"Then isn't it lucky that she joined her son on his trip north to see her granddaughter?" Mrs. Hughes pushed off the bannister, "Just a thought Anna."

Anna sucked the inside of her cheek before following Mrs. Hughes example and heading for her own bed, a thought swirling in her mind.

Morning came almost too quickly but Saturday meant most of the girls were at home with their families and those who were not had activities planned in the village or with their other friends. Mrs. Hughes had an excursion arranged for a few of them and others wanted to take the time to get ahead in their studies.

Anna used the morning to wait for the man assigned to collect Emmaline Bates's things. The same man she bribed to leave the cases and personal affects but take her to the hotel instead. And the same man who cowered at the sight of the hotel before running away after leaving the money he received for the job he did not do in Anna's hands.

With the envelope clutched tightly in one hand Anna entered the hotel and knocked on the desk where the concierge waited. He lifted an eyebrow at her but Anna ignored it. "The room for Captain and Mrs. Bates?"

"They're to to be disturbed."

"I'm sure they'd like their money back." Anna held up the envelope but moved her arm back as the concierge made a grab for it. "I'd like to deliver it myself. It's a personal matter."

"As I said," The man pulled at his tight jacket, flushing at his moment of fluster. "They don't want disturbance."

"Then I'll promise to be on my best behavior."

"That won't-"

"If someone wants to see us," An older woman wrapped in a worn but durable coat approached, "Then they'll bloody well see us."

"Mrs. Bates, I told this woman here-"

"Nothing of use." Mrs. Bates turned to Anna, "How can I help you?"

"It's actually me I'm hoping could help you, Mrs. Bates." Anna nodded toward some chairs, "Might we sit? I think this conversation's a bit lengthy for our feet."

"You almost make me sound decrepit." Mrs. Bates led the way to the chairs and took one. "I'm sure you're not who I was expecting to see this morning."

"I do apologize if I interrupted you expecting anyone."

"That's just it, I wasn't expecting anyone." She sighed, "My son and granddaughter are out looking for a new school for her to attend."

"So soon?"

Mrs. Bates narrowed her eyes, "What do you know of it?"

"I'm Emmaline's English and Geography instructor at Downton College and I don't think she should leave."

"I do hope this isn't about her tuition money or the donations my son makes suddenly not filling those coffers any longer."

"It is for the headmistress but that's not why I'm here." Anna handed over the envelope, "I hope you can use that money to hire someone else to bring Emmaline's things if you don't like what I have to say."

Mrs. Bates peeked in the envelope as a smile took over her face, "It's not easy to bribe anyone to not do as my son asks of them."

"I'm sure it is but this isn't about your son it's about Emmaline." Anna took a breath, "I know she's had a time of it at Downton. I know there are girls there who are the worst of them and she's endured torment at their hands. But I also know that she needs a friend and I'm that person for her."

"I don't suppose," Mrs. Bates tapped the envelope against her hand, "You're the famous 'Ms. Smith' are you?"

"I don't know anything about my fame, Mrs. Bates, but I do know that I'm speaking of the best interests for your granddaughter. And they don't lie in finding another school to take her on this late in the term or in finding somewhere else to board her like she's a horse."

"My son doesn't view his daughter that way."

"I know he doesn't." Anna met Mrs. Bates's gaze, "With how she speaks of him, it'd be impossible for her to think of him as anything less than her hero and it's unquestionable for me to think the same."

"But your analogy still stands?"

"I've none other on hand for the moment."

Mrs. Bates clicked her tongue against her teeth, "And you an English teacher."

"We're not perfect."

"Neither am I." Mrs. Bates frowned, "Or my son, for that matter."

"Then please, allow me the chance to prove that Emmaline's better at Downton. She's doing well there, she's making progress there, and in time she'll graduate with distinction." Anna tried to swallow, "Anywhere else she'd risk being behind the curve and never recovering with her studies."

Mrs. Bates sat back, eyeing Anna, "You're possibly one of the most determined teachers I've ever met."

"I care for Emmaline because I see quite a bit of myself in her, Mrs. Bates, and I know she can rise above it."

"Then what of this story I hear of you, setting fire to your classroom?"

Anna ground her teeth, "It was a box of confiscated fireworks. I wasn't apprised of the contents of the box and the student in question failed to make any mention of it."

"What kind of a brat does that?"

"The same kind who torments your granddaughter and takes inordinate pride in position she'll inherit when she marries someone with just as much money and just as few brains."

"I see, one of _those_." Mrs. Bates tapped the side of her nose, "But what is it, exactly, that you think I can do for you Ms. Smith? This kind of impassioned argument should be in the ears of my son, not me."

"I took the good advice of someone who also cares for Emmaline's future and wellbeing that you're the person Captain Bates would hear out." Anna shrugged, "I guess I'm making my impassioned pleas to you because you have the power to help Emmaline."

"And you?"

"It's not too shameful of me to say you'd be doing me a great favor in terms of the lens under which the headmistress views me."

Mrs. Bates shook her head, "I didn't mean your professional reputation, Ms. Smith. I don't give a damn about that."

Anna frowned, "Then what?"

"I mean your personal interest."

"Oh," Anna's eyes went wide a moment before she tried to blank her face. "It's also nothing for me to admit that I view Emmaline as m student and as my friend. We all need them."

"Emmaline most of all."

"She's not got many friends and with her family so far…"

When Anna could not finish the sentence, blush running over her cheeks, Mrs. Bates only chuckled and patted her hand, "It's nothing but fact, Ms. Smith. Johnny's always on the water and I'm in London. Far away from a very lonely girl who loves us."

"We all make sacrifices, Mrs. Bates."

"But some sacrifices we shouldn't make." Mrs. Bates sighed, "Johnny's been trying to convince me to move here but as much as I enjoy the country and the North on our little trips here to visit Emmaline it's in my bones to be in London."

"By your accent I'd say you're not originally from there."

"No, I'm from Belfast and I miss it too but that's the thing of it. Big cities where the crush and the push for life are always cracking at your bones and nipping at your heels." Mrs. Bates snorted, "Here there's too much time to just think. I'd drive myself mad."

"And Emmaline?"

"She doesn't know where she belongs yet but that's youth. One day she'll know and she won't be moved from it." Mrs. Bates stood, waving the envelope. "I'll try and talk Johnny out of his decision but I can't promise this money won't go right back to the same man to pack her things."

"If that's the case, and it's what Captain Bates believes is best then I'd help and wish her a safe journey."

"You'd do that for her?"

"If it's what's best for Emmaline, yes ma'am I would." Anna did not waver or blink until Mrs. Bates smiled.

"You truly understand what love is, Ms. Smith, and I commend you not only for your courage but also your compassion." She leaned it, "And I don't mind a deal of pluck and spine too."

"Thank you." Anna gathered her handbag. "I'd best get back."

"And I'd best stop Johnny making a mistake in passion again." Mrs. Bates nodded at Anna. "Don't stop being brave Ms. Smith. I think Emmaline's learned more than her English from you."

"I've learned from her as well."

"That's life, learning from one another."

"Yes it is." Anna extended a hand, "I do hope we've a chance to meet again Mrs. Bates. I believe this conversation was one of the best I've had in some time."

"Then I pity your former conversations and accept the offer with a returned interest." Mrs. Bates winked at her, "I'll tell Emmaline you stopped by."

"Please do and…" Anna bit her tongue, "And tell Captain Bates I apologize. I know he was only acting in the interests of his daughter."

"I'll pass along your message Ms. Smith." Mrs. Bates released Anna's hand, "And good day to you."

"Good day Mrs. Bates."


	6. Private Tutor

Anna walked up the gravel drive toward Downton College and hurried to the side as a motor honked behind her. She half turned and her jaw almost dropped at the sight of Captain Bates climbing out of it. They faced one another on the gravel and he removed his hat to brush through his hair.

"I believe, Ms. Smith, that I owe you an apology."

"Do you?" Anna blinked, trying to recover her composure. "I wasn't sure that was strictly necessary."

"I think it is." He swallowed, fingers crunching at the brim of his hat in his hands. "More to the point, I insist."

"Then I accept whatever apology you wish to give, Captain Bates, and I wish you a pleasant day." She went to go but he reached out. He did not grab her arm, but the brush of his fingers on her sleeve stopped her dead.

"Forgive my impertinence, just now, Ms. Smith, but I hadn't finished." He managed a little laugh, "Or even apologized properly."

"Captain Bates I-"

"Emmaline told me what you mean to her." Their eyes met and Anna stopped trying to argue. "She told me how kind you've been, how generous with your time and your friendship, and she also told me that you're on her side."

"I can assure you, that's not a difficult place to be."

"All the same, Ms. Smith, my attitude yesterday was one of a man driven more by fear than sense and I didn't give you enough time to present your arguments. For that I beg your forgiveness."

"Consider it as forgiven as it is forgotten."

Captain Bates swallowed again, "And I'd like to apologize for the haste with which I ripped Emmaline from the school."

"You acted as her defender and protector, which you are, and I think it would be worse for me to disagree with such methods." Anna bit at her lip, "Though I am curious what brings you back to the school so soon."

"I came to apologize to the headmistress and tell her I acted with exceeding rashness. The kind that makes men look like fools."

"We're all fools once in awhile."

Captain Bates pointed to the motor, "Would you like me to give you a lift?"

Anna considered a moment before shaking her head. "As kind as the offer is, Captain, I think it would give the other instructors the wrong idea and the girls would start their whispers as soon as they saw me. I've not been here long enough to avoid the scandal that degree of kindness would bring."

"I'm sorry it would be a scandal." He faced the car a moment before motioning forward. "Would it be as improprietous as asking if I could walk with you to the school?"

"I think they'd still whisper but what can one do about two strangers walking in the same direction together?"

"I'd like to think we're not strangers."

"We are until we've been properly introduced, Captain, and thus far our introductions have been anything but proper."

"You're quite right." Captain Bates extended a hand, "John Bates, Captain in His Majesty's Navy."

"Anna Smith, English and History instructor at Downton Ladies' College." Anna took his hand, loosing herself in the moment of warmth exerted in his firm grip. "I do hope you'll consider bringing Emmaline back as soon as possible."

"She'll be back by Monday." Captain Bates walked with her, keeping pace with her shorter strides. "For the moment she's shopping with her grandmother and it gave me this opportunity to swallow my pride without witnesses."

"I'm a the only person I needed as a witness." He paused, "It's been… difficult to confront the mistake I made."

"It was just yesterday, Captain. I'm sure we can allow for some growth in ourselves."

"John."

Anna stopped, "I'm sorry?"

"My name is John and, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like it if we could share that. I know it might be a bit awkward but I don't want you feeling I can only be addressed by my rank. I spend enough time on ships or in offices with deferent lackeys I don't need one here. Especially not one so interested in the welfare of my daughter she would counter-bribe the man I sent for her things and speak to my mother on Emmaline's behalf."

Anna ducked her head, "If you thought I was-"

"No," John held up a hand. "You were in the right, Ms. Smith. It was me who was wrong."

"Then I'd like it if you could call me Anna." She smiled, "I spend all day as 'Ms. Smith' and it'd be nice to speak to someone who wasn't once my dormitory matron or my old friend who knows my name."

"Is that what brought you here?" He pointed toward the imposing building. "An old friend?"

"Yes she did." Anna kept her head low a moment, "She's actually the daughter of the same man who recommended you to enroll Emmaline here."

"How do you know Edith Crawley?"

"Not Edith," Anna laughed a bit, "Though I was her prefect. No, Edith's elder sister, Mary Crawley."

"Ah," John nodded, "She would be the one to drag back those she likes."

"Then you know she's on the board for the school?"

"We've had some conversations. All in politeness and as acquaintances but I can't claim to know her well beyond what Robert may've mentioned about her." John shuddered, "I believe the word used most often is 'formidable' but I might also advocate for 'intimidating'."

"I find both words are accurate descriptors." Anna smiled to herself. "She was just the same in school. Although I'd think that marriage has tempered her slightly."

"Then I wish all the luck in this world and the next to whatever man thought he had the courage to marry Lady Mary Crawley."

"I think there are many who share your sentiment because they all believe that Lady Mary has no heart."

"Does she?"

Anna nodded, "She's one of the most unintentionally kind people I've ever met. She's the reason I always had a friend at school."

"Is she the reason you came back here?"

"She needed someone she trusted to take a position here before the Braithwaite family got their claws into someone else." Anna stopped herself, "I'm sorry, that's not kind."

"No, it's not, but I don't mind." John shrugged, "My wife was a Braithwaite cousin. The rebellious cousin who ran off with a Navy man and angered her entire family."

Anna pointed to a bench by a large tree. "Could we sit there a moment? I've a feeling this isn't a conversation for the ears of the girls here."

"You're right." John guided them to the bench and allowed Anna to sit before taking the space next to her. "I'm not sure what rumors you've heard-"

"Anything I've heard about you, John, is dismissed the moment it touches my ears." Anna almost put out a hand to reassure him but stopped herself. "Emmaline told me a few things and Mrs. Hughes filled in the rest. Any other rumors or insults are just those."

"Then am I a subject of pity for you?"

"Why would you be?" Anna frowned, "You don't seem pitiable."

"I'm a man who leaves his daughter to this den of wolves."

"You're a man who loves his daughter and wants what's best for her." Anna steeled herself to cover his hand where it rested between them. He turned his head to meet her eyes, "I think there's more to be admired in that than pitied."

"I'm not sure I'm worthy of your admiration."

"I think that's for me to decide."

"Then," John took a breath, "Tell me what should make me keep Emmaline here. What would you use to tell me that taking Emmaline away is a mistake."

"I'm not sure what I could say to convince you."

"Why not?"

"I've my own frustrations with this place."

"Such as?"

Anna half-turned to stare at the school over the back of the bench. "There's… there's much in that school I would change. There are girls I would toss out on their ear, rules I would do away with, and a subservience to n aging system I would change. But for all those nitpicky points where I could raise contention, I can't argue with the undeniable truth that I received an education there that took me to Canada. It gave me skills and talents I wouldn't otherwise have. Those are things I can't replace."

"And she couldn't get that anywhere else."

"I'm not saying that." Anna stood, "But I'm not going anywhere else and if that's the reason you came to speak to the Headmistress today then I'd say it's the best reason I could provide to you."

"Then perhaps I need another angle." John stood as well. "It may sound petty, but I know the Braithwaite family doesn't have the economic wherewithal to support the school on their own in their current state."

Anna furrowed her brow, "I'm not sure I understand the context."

"I believe that, like Martin Luther, one must occasionally make their stand where it's unpopular." John pointed toward the school, "Emmaline won't be returning to school this term."

"John… Captain Bates," Anna hurried to correct herself, hoping her use of his rank would bring sense back to his comments. "She can't-"

"My mother has agreed to stay in my house in Ripon. While she won't admit it, the doctors in London are convinced she needs the country air to help her lungs. She's agreed to stay until Christmas and I want Emmaline to stay with her." John held out his hand toward Anna. "And I'd like you to be her tutor."

Anna's eyes could not blink fast enough. "I beg your pardon."

"Once the Braithwaites and the Buntings realize they're not getting my donations and the tuition for the this school, they'll have to eat some pie of their own. That kind of influence means they'll rein their children in a bit more in future." John shrugged, "Emmaline'll be protected from their cruelty once they learn a bit of humility."

"At the risk of sounding incredibly rude, I think that's a terrible idea."

He stopped, "You don't think they need to learn a lesson?"

"What I think has little to do with the fact that it's not a guaranteed success. Nor is it a true reflection on Emmaline or you." Anna took a breath, "If they don't cow to your demands then, when Emmaline does come back, she'll be subjected to ever more of the vitriol of her peers."

"Then we should all hope that I succeed." John replaced his hat, "Does my offer to you hold any interest?"

"I could only tutor her in my subjects. The physical sciences or mathematics or music are all beyond me."

"I'll arrange those." John put out a hand but withdrew it almost as quickly, as if rethinking the idea of touching her hand. "But I know you're the person she respects the most. She needs your influence, Anna."

It almost broke Anna's brain to hear him call her by her name. She tried to listen to him past the rush of blood in her ears or the thunder of heart racing in her chest. Finally she nodded.

"I'd be honored. I'll have to arrange a few days a week for it since I still have instruction here and my duties as one of the boarding teachers."

"I'm sure the schedule will flex to your needs." John led them back to the path. "And I do apologize if this makes life difficult for you."

"More difficult for the school." Anna sought her last tactic. "It's not right, for the school to be held as a pawn in this. There are girls here who will be victims in this."

"Perhaps." John held his shoulders back. "But, as a military man, I see necessary costs in a war of attrition."

"But we're not at war." Anna put her palm to her forehead, pressing there a moment as if to dispel some ache or bring organization to her thoughts. "This is pride, John. The same pride you thought you were destroying by giving me your apologies."

John did not speak, only continued to stare at her, so Anna continued. "If you do this. If you fall to their level, are you not just proving you're no better than they already imagine you to be? And it's not an attempt to strike at your nobility or your pride or any part of you to say that you deserve the high ground where you stood. If you give it up now, to them by doing this, then you're no better and I could have nothing to do with it."

They stared at one another for only a moment longer before John smiled. "Thank you, for proving you are exactly the woman my daughter believes you to be."

Anna gaped, her mouth moving like a suffocating fish before she could find her voice, "I'm sorry?"

"It was a test, Ms. Smith." His grin took a turn that almost had Anna quivering with rage at the self-satisfaction there. "Given the attitude I have about this school and its occupants, as you now know, I needed to be sure."

"Sure of my intentions or sure of my character, Captain?" Anna tried to shake off the rise in her, that irritably frustrating sensation he enjoyed having a go at her. "I believe trust is a concept you only understand by definition and not practice."

"I don't have the luxury of trusting just anyone with the education and care of my daughter."

"Then perhaps you might want to think about who she trusts and whether or not you truly trust her." Anna nodded at him, "I hope your drive back is safe, Captain, and that whatever boat sails you out to sea doesn't leak."

She turned to leave but his hand touched her arm. Anna pivoted with it. "Please remove your hand."

"I've offended you and that was not my intention Ms. Smith," John dropped his grip. "I'm sorry."

"As am I." Anna took a breath, "I'm a teacher, Captain. I'm not a toy, a servant, or anything else that puts me at your disposal in such a way. And while I carry the highest respect for you given the way your daughter talks about you, in fact how she admires the very bones of you, I won't be toyed with."

"That wasn't my intention."

"Then perhaps, from now on, Captain, we'd be better strangers."

"I don't think-"

"Good afternoon, Captain." Anna left him on the drive, walking back toward the school with her head held high.

When she entered, removing her hat and managing to get one arm out of a sleeve, someone came over to help her with the other. Anna turned to face the individual and blinked in surprise at a man standing there. He took her coat, folded it over his arm and handed it back.

"I apologize if I startled you but it seemed you needed a bit of help."

"It seems I did." Anna held her coat close, stroking the fabric for a moment for something to do. "I'm sorry I'm so surprised but I don't think I know you."

"You wouldn't." He held out a hand, retracting it as Anna struggled to free one of her own. "Maybe we should greet one another properly when you're not so encumbered."

"I'd still prefer to know your name now, if I could." Anna pressed, narrowing her eyes slightly at him. "We haven't met before have we?"

"I don't think so." He grinned, "I'd remember someone as beautiful as yourself."

"And I'd remember that kind of flattery." Anna returned his smile. "But mostly I wanted to make sure I wasn't the height of rudeness at forgetting your name, had you been so kind as to exchange it with me on a previous occasion."

"I hadn't but I can now." He stood a bit taller, "I'm Alex Green, guest lecturer for the rest of term."

"Just passing through, Mr. Green?"

"In a way." Green shrugged, "I was in London, at a boy's school, for the last five years but I thought the atmosphere a bit too constricting. I then certified for guest lecturing and when I heard that your maths professor here wanted to begin a speculator calculus course I thought it might be a good opportunity to stretch those skills."

"Then you're here on Mr. Moseley's invitation."

"He's here on mine." Both turned their heads enough to see a man with black hair walking toward them. He clapped Green on the shoulder and nodded toward Anna. "It's a pleasure to see you again Ms. Smith."

"And you, Mr. Foyle." Anna suppressed a laugh. "Been a long time since we were all sneaking out together to meet in town after curfew hasn't it?"

"I believe Haxby Boy's School still bears the marks of our fiasco with fireworks. The smudges on the upper ceilings of the great hall are very obvious during Christmas celebrations." Foyle adjusted his head to speak to Green while still looking at Anna. "Ms. Smith and Lady Mary were friends of mine when we went to school in this area."

"By the sounds of it you weren't the kind of friends to exercise the best influence on one another."

"It was enough, I think." Foyle took a breath, "I was actually just showing Mabel around the school and she thought it was lovely."

"It is that." Anna sighed, "I, unfortunately, have to get to my other duties as I'm no longer the trouble maker here."

"You never were. That was always Mary." Foyle leaned forward and they kissed one another on the cheeks. "I hope to see you at the Haxby and Downton social at the end of the month. It's supposed to be an autumn Festival and they've promised hayrides."

"I can't wait." Anna did a little curtsey to both the men. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Green, and lovely to see you again Tony."

She headed for the stairs and heard the sounds of the front door opening. Pausing long enough to hear the voices of Foyle, Green, and John in the foyer, Anna hurried up the rest of the stairs. As she passed over the gallery her eyes met John's for a brief second before she walked to her room.


	7. Guest at Dinner

Anna marked the papers and sighed as her fingers rubbed the bridge of her nose. A knock at her door had her blinking and squinting until she finally recognized there was a person there. In her hurry to stand up she knocked her knee against the underside of her desk.

Her eyes watered, making the person standing there haze in her vision again, and she bit down on her tongue to stop herself crying out at the sensation working through her body. She hauled in a deep breath and tried to appear as unfazed as possible when she cleared her throat to speak. "I'm so sorry, this might seem too unprofessional."

"I saw what happened." Mr. Green smiled at her, coming into the room and pointing to the displays. "I heard this was quite the room."

"From whom?" Anna rubbed at her knee, doing everything she could not to hobble around the edge of her desk to face him. "I do hope it was not from one of my students."

"No, it was from Mr. Moseley." Mr. Green laughed, pointing over at the stove in the corner. "He told me all about your fiasco with the fireworks."

"A mistake I will never make again." Anna took another try at rubbing over her knee so the throbbing there was only a dull ache in the vicinity of her kneecap. "I'll be checking every box in future."

"What if it's full of frogs and opening the box-"

"Stop." Anna put up her hand, shaking her head. "I don't think I could take another incident in terms of my classroom."

"I did overhear that you and Headmistress O'Brien have been grossly out of step for the duration of your tenure."

"I'm trying to become tenured." Anna folded her arms over her chest. "How are your calculus lectures?"

"There are a few girls here who are brilliant when it comes to mathematics and, given another world, we could see a great number of things from those girls."

Anna frowned a second, "They could still allow a number of good things to happen in the world as they are."

"Of course but…" Mr. Green shrugged, "They're women. What could they really do?"

Anna swallowed, "They can do a lot, Mr. Green, and I feel like there's more they could do if given the chance. We just have to believe in them."

"I wouldn't set my expectations so high that the world shoots them down." Mr. Green shrugged and then pointed out the door, "Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"I had it with the girls. I work with Mrs. Hughes as one of the Matrons here and it's my obligation to keep watch over the girls."

"Are they so dangerous they can't be trusted on their own?"

"They're all trying to discover who they are. That can be dangerous." Anna shrugged, "But I guess it's not something you've encountered before."

"You forget, Ms. Smith, that I was an instructor as a boy's school." Mr. Green laughed, "If anyone struggles with knowing who they are it's boys trying to confront the reality that, one day, they'll be the leaders of the empire."

"With all these women behind them." Anna only flinched slightly at the sound of the bell. "I'd best prepare for my next class."

"Then I'll leave you to your students who, no doubt, need your expertise." Mr. Green moved toward the door, getting out of the way of the line of students entering the room. "I am curious, are you going to the Autumn Festival?"

"I'm one of the chaperones, Mr. Green." Anna waited as he took another step forward and her class took their seats. "Though I've a feeling you've got another question."

"I was wondering if you would have dinner with me."

"I'm still-"

"I'm sure Mrs. Hughes wouldn't mind if you had on night where you weren't on duty." Mr. Green smiled but Anna shook her head.

"I'm sorry but I've obligations to this school and to these girls." Anna turned to her class, "Please take out your readers. We're starting with Shakespeare's _Macbeth_."

"Ms. Smith?" Sara raised her hand and Anna turned to her. "Is Mr. Green staying for the class?"

"No," Anna pivoted to the board, "Mr. Green, unless you've additional expertise in English then you're in the wrong place."

"Thank you for the temptation but you're right. I've got a lecture to prepare for the calculus students." He raised a hand to the class, nodding at them. "Enjoy the Scottish play ladies."

He left the room and Anna faced her class again. "Alright, Act one. We'll start with Ms. Bunting and then read around the room. Please begin."

The rest of the class continued like all the others and when the last bell of the day rang she waited for the girls to leave the room. They clustered near the door and Anna turned to them as Ms. O'Brien entered the room. The headmistress looked over the girls and then waved them away.

"You've not got all day girls. You've got dinner to dress for and other things to get done. Go on, no time to dawdle." The girls practically sprinted from the room and Ms. O'Brien turned to Anna. "I've had a request that I need you to handle."

"What kind of request?" Anna held her hands in front of her, tugging her fingers tightly.

"Captain Bates wishes you to dine with his family this evening."

"Does he?" Anna frowned, "I wasn't under the impression I'd left a good one with him."

"You did not but when he met with me the other day he made a stipulation to the return of his daughter to the school."

"I thought you met with him last week." Anna loosed her fingers, noting the redness from where she'd pressed them together, and placed one on her neck to rub there. "I wasn't aware he'd made a decision either way."

"Apparently he's taken stock of the schools around this area and not seen any that impress him. Further, he's gotten his orders and he'll be shipping to South America for a few months and he trusts our institution with his daughter during that time." Ms. O'Brien shuffled in place. "His stipulation is that you'll be the one in charge of his daughter's care while she's here."

"Oh." Anna blinked, "I'm gobsmacked."

"I can tell and you'll be even more so when I tell you what else he wanted from you."

"There's more?"

"His request for dinner this evening. He and his mother'll be returning to London in the morning and she requested your company." Ms. O'Brien snorted. "I guess they prefer your rather obtrusive attitude."

"To each their own, as they say." Anna dropped her hands, intertwining her fingers for something to do. "When does Captain Bates and his family want to see me?"

"They're expecting you at their hotel at eight." Ms. O'Brien looked her over, "I suggest you find something a bit more suitable to wear. You do represent our school in this case."

"Always." Anna pulled her watch to check the time. "I'd best get myself ready as well. Should I tell Mrs. Hughes?"

"I've told her you won't be there for dinner and you might be late for lights out but I do hope you won't be so late as to allow for rumors to run from loose lips and suspicious minds."

"I'll be the picture of decorum and virtue, Ms. O'Brien." Anna turned back to her desk, gathering the last of the papers and her things. When she turned back to the door she noticed the headmistress has not moved. "Was there anything else?"

"I don't wish to cast aspersions or suggest that you've been, in any way, untoward with Captain Bates but-"

"But nothing, Ms. O'Brien." Anna held her head high, "There's been no impropriety and there's nothing between Captain Bates and I that was not a discuss about he welfare of his daughter, which is my concern."

She took a deep breath, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go and prepare to continue representing this school and remain a standard of its excellent reputation."

Ms. O'Brien's mouth contorted but she said nothing, only left through the door with a decidedly witchy billow of her hood. Anna sighed, letting her body drop a bit. Moving through the door, she dodged a line of girls heading toward dinner and noticed Mrs. Hughes standing in the corridor with a smile on her face.

Anna tried to hide a grin as she approached her. "How much did Ms. O'Brien tell you?"

"Not as much as listening through the grate between our rooms just did." Mrs. Hughes took Anna's free hand. "And I've got enough time to help you get ready."

"You really don't need-"

"Anna May Smith I know that you're not from a family where your mother ever worried about you making an impression on society that could trickle down through all the ears of all the women you've ever met and I know that what you do tonight is bound to make you more enemies than friends."

"Does it matter if it makes me the right friends?" Anna's lips twitched and Mrs. Hughes wagged a finger at her as they avoided the girls going the opposite direction on the stairs.

"Don't go making this something I'll regret."

Mrs. Hughes led Anna into her rooms and waited for Anna to set down her papers and small satchel before opening a wardrobe. Anna covered her mouth with a hand at the sight of the dresses inside and raised a hand for only a moment before dropping it with a shake of her head. "You can't be serious."

"As the grave my dear. You are dining in one of the finest hotels in York and if you fail to make a good impression on them then you're going to be the talk of the town and every village from there to this school and for fifty miles around." Mrs. Hughes rolled her shoulders back. "More to the point, if you're going then you can't look like yourself."

"Because I'm the paragon of virtue?"

"Because if you're not going to be then I don't want anyone to know who you are." Mrs. Hughes winked at her as Anna widened her eyes and gasped. "I may've been married later in life than most but I'm not ignorant of how it works before that moment."

"Please," Anna scrunched her eyes closed, "Don't tell me anymore or I'll regret having come up here with you."

"You won't in a moment." Mrs. Hughes took her hand and dragged Anna to the wardrobe. "Now, I feel this color'll bring out your eyes but this one would make you look… No, the first."

Anna played the role of the mannequin in Mrs. Hughes's manipulations. When someone knocked on the door, her hair held above her head in Mrs. Hughes's careful hands, both turned to see Ms. Baxter enter the room. She gave her soft smile to them both and then pointed at Anna's things. "I thought I could be of some assistance in the process."

"We're not dressing a bride but if you could return Ms. Smith's things to her room and…" Mrs. Hughes pursed her lips and Anna gave her own frightened look in Ms. Baxter's but the other woman could only shrug. "She's got to have a scarf or a wrap or something to match this dark blue. It'll be a chill evening and goose pimples aren't attractive."

"I don't have-"

"I have something." Ms. Baxter gathered Anna's things with care, "And I'm also here to inform you that dinner's in ten minutes. Mrs. Patmore's insistent that you allow it to start it on time this evening."

"I'll be there in time." Mrs. Hughes turned back to Anna's hair. "Now, about your hair."

The process struck the delicate balance between the belief that her fairy godmother had taken her time to care for her every need and the fear that some demon had decided to cast a new version of her body for possession. But when Anna saw herself in the mirror, Ms. Baxter shuffling in the doorway with the words of Mrs. Patmore ringing in her ears, all thoughts vanished. She almost touched her hair but stopped, the sound from Mrs. Hughes's throat a warning, and then pulled a bit at the dress before facing the women.

"I don't feel like myself."

"And you don't look like yourself, which is the point." Mrs. Hughes wrapped Anna in the last piece of her façade before handing her off to Ms. Baxter. "Now Ms. Baxter'll escort you to the door where Mr. Carson'll act as chaperone to the hotel."

"He's taken dinner with us?"

"Mr. Carson doesn't dine in public." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, guiding Anna down the stairs she could barely feel in the new shoes. "He's there for you dear. Should you need to leave or, for any reason, feel yourself-"

"I understand." Anna hurried to stop Mrs. Hughes. "I don't think I could think of anything going wrong at this point when everything about me feels like I've tried to step in the skin of Lady Mary and discovered it's too big for me."

"That's why she wears it and not us." Mrs. Hughes smiled at her, "Alright, I'd best get to dinner before our cook decides that she'll rule the dining room the way she rules the kitchen, without me."

"Mrs. Hughes," Anna held her hand as the other woman went to pull away. The gloves wrapping up to Anna's upper arms stopped her feeling the comforting sensation of the other woman's hand on her own but it would have to suffice. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure dear." Mrs. Hughes covered her hand and put the other to her cheek. "You'll make us proud, Ms. Smith, that I know for certain."

"I'll get her to the car Mrs. Hughes." Ms. Baxter put a gentle hand on Anna's arm and guided her to the door. "And you do look marvelous."

"I feel a fool." Anna waved a hand at the too fine dress, the shoes that put her ten feet above the floor, and the wrap beading sweat over her clammy skin. "I am a fool for even accepting this invitation."

"You're helping a girl who needs our care, Ms. Smith." Ms. Baxter gave her nervous smile. "I think you're doing a very great thing for her."

"If not for myself."

Anna followed Ms. Baxter's guidance to the door and before the other woman could reach the handle it opened inward. The trio blinked at one another as Mr. Green entered. His mouth opened and the confusion furrowed his brow before Ms. Baxter guided Anna through the door and out toward the car where Mr. Carson waited.

"Here's your charge Mr. Carson." Ms. Baxter held Anna still as Mr. Carson opened the door and offered her a hand to climb in. "Our Cinderella here is due back before lights out, conversation willing."

"I do hope it's only conversation."

"It's a family dinner." Anna leaned forward on the seat, her hand on the door. "Lest we all forget, it was Mrs. Bates the Elder who extended the invitation."

"Through her son." Ms. Baxter and Mr. Carson exchanged a look and Anna sat back in her seat. "Drive with care Mr. Carson."

"I don't drive with anything else." He came around the car, starting it and setting off toward York.

Anna pulled at her fingers, wrinkling the gloves and having to pull them back up her arms more than once during their drive. The night set in, the chill giving Anna's shivers as the nervous sweat dried on her skin. Every bit of her quivered or trembled until she had almost clenched the feeling from her fingers in an attempt to stop the tremor in her hands.

They reached the hotel and Mr. Carson glared down the valet until the man cowered to the side before helping Anna out of the car. Her second foot barely touched the ground when an excited squeal cut through the air. She turned to it and the first genuine smile of the evening settled on Anna's face in response to the form of Emmaline wrapping herself around Anna.

"Ms. Smith! I'm so glad you accepted Grandmama's invitation."

"I didn't have much of a choice." Anna held the wrap closer, a shiver running through her body. "But I don't want to keep her any longer."

"Then come with me." Emmaline tugged her hand, throwing a brief wave to Mr. Carson that Anna tried to extend before the young woman ripped her arm from her socket in her excitement.

They hurried up the stairs, the doorman barely casting a second glance at Anna, and into the warm interior of the building. Someone took the wrap from Anna's shoulders faster than she could comprehend the action and then Emmaline hurried her along the corridor to the restaurant. There the maître' d did cast a glance at her, Anna forcing her arms to her sides to avoid pulling at the gloves, but he waved them both through.

Emmaline wove them between the tables and Anna caught sight of Captain John Bates standing to greet them. When their eyes settled on one another it was as if time stopped a moment. His black tie affair made him appear taller and the pull of his jacket brought his shoulders back to puff his chest forward. Everything about him reeked of professionalism and order, down to the hand he extended to take Anna's with his own and kiss the back of it.

Unlike before, when holding Mrs. Hughes's comforting hand, the sensation of John's lips came through like a fire onto her skin. He stayed there for a moment longer before releasing her hand to pull out her chair. Anna tried to protest, noting Emmaline already sat next to her grandmother, but followed his guidance and took her place on the chair.

"We're so glad you could join us." Mrs. Bates held a menu, her eyes only flicking toward Anna for a moment. "I was worried that headmistress at your school might try to take her position and wield it like a sledgehammer in this."

"Ms. O'Brien and I don't see eye-to-eye on many things but she's invested in Emmaline's welfare."

"More like she can't stand the idea of not having my son's money invested in the school." Mrs. Bates snorted and motioned for a waiter. "We'll all have this for dinner as soon as you can manage it."

"Shouldn't we allow Ms. Smith a perusal of the menu Mother?" John leaned toward the older woman but she snapped her menu shut and gave it to the man.

"Ms. Smith is a woman of skill and talent. More than that she'll want to impress us if she's left to her own devices." Mrs. Bates tapped the side of her nose, looking at Anna. "Given you don't look anything like yourself tonight I'd guess you're under strict rules when it comes to how you're representing the school tonight."

"Very strict." Anna tugged at her gloves and then left her hands in her lap. "I'll be honest, I've no experience with this kind of finery."

"Then I do apologize for the setting. It's bound to rile and upset the locals but it was all we had available." Mrs. Bates shrugged. "They'll use it against us as a flaunting of our lavish lifestyle."

"I didn't mean-"

"Ms. Smith," Mrs. Bates held up a hand. "You're playing the part foisted upon you because you're a good person and there are those who would use you. My only regret, of this evening, is that you're now locked as the pawn in a game you shouldn't be in."

"Grandmama you'll scare her." Emmaline whispered and Anna noted the tone in her voice.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"You understand the tension between our family and those of this area, yes?" Mrs. Bates waited for Anna's nod. "Then you'll know they've got their little spies everywhere. They're hounding my son, they watch my granddaughter, and you'll be on their list next. Do you know why?"

"I can't say that the politics of large families was ever something I could claim to know a great deal about."

"Then I'll put this very simply." Mrs. Bates held up her water glass. "This is you."

Anna frowned as Mrs. Bates took the white wine from before her plate and the red wine from John's plate and the brandy from a passing server. "These are the sides that want you. It doesn't matter who is who because the end result'll be the same if you're not careful." Mrs. Bates poured them all into the water glass, muddying the color. "You're a good person Ms. Smith and you want what's best for Emmaline here. But they'll use you to get to her and the money she's got if you're not careful."

"Mother this isn't the time or the-"

"Yes it is." Mrs. Bates put her glasses down and pointed at those seated around the tables behind Anna. "They've not dropped their eyes from her all night and while whomever dressed her did a wonderful job at making her look the part of a socialite the problem is that they'll eventually find out who she is. They'll say nasty things about her, they'll cast their aspersions, and then they'll let their little rumors fester. The whole problem with this mess is that those who have pure hearts are the ones to suffer."

"Are you suggesting that I made a mistake?" Anna waited, her gaze unflinching from Mrs. Bates.

The other woman just smiled. "Only if you think Emmaline's not worth it."

"I could never think that." Anna raised her water glass, "To your health, Mrs. Bates."

Mrs. Bates raised the muddied glass before her. "And to yours dear." She drank it and then made a face, her tongue coming out of her mouth before she handed the glass to a passing busboy. "Get that away from me. That's disgusting."

Emmaline laughed and Anna handed over her water glass to the woman. "To rinse out your mouth."

They chatted throughout the meal, chosen exclusively by Mrs. Bates with no room for correction or comment on behalf of Emmaline, Anna, or John, and they all enjoyed it. Anna's eyes flicked toward the clock by the time dessert came and hurried to dab at her mouth with a napkin. "If I stay any longer I'll miss lights out and then have to sink my way back into the school."

"Are they so strict?" Mrs. Bates snorted and Anna nodded.

"Ms. O'Brien was insistent."

"You can't stay?" Emmaline's voice almost pleaded with her as Anna went to rise from her chair.

"Afraid not." Anna was almost out of her seat when John's hand brushed hers and she froze.

"If I'm not mistaken," John drawled, pushing a plate toward her, holding the small fork between his fingers as he looked up at her from under his brows. "You're here for dinner and dinner is never complete without dessert."

"Mr. Carson's waiting to drive me back."

"Then I'll take you back." John stood, motioning back to the seat. "And I'll take the rap for it."

Anna opened her mouth to argue but John left the table and she could only sink back to her chair. He returned quickly, smiling at the table before stealing part of Anna's dessert and then settling himself to share what Emmaline could not finish of her own. For her part, Anna chewed mechanically for two bites before she dissolved into the taste of the chocolate delicacy before her melted in her mouth.

As the evening finished, John kissed his mother and daughter on the cheek before offering his hand to Anna. "Shall we?"

Her glove rested in his grip, the same pulsing heat from earlier soaking through he fabric to stain her hand. Anna flinched a bit and he paused to eye her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not used to a great many things about this kind of evening, Captain Bates." Anna nodded toward the door. "But I'll be very late if we don't leave now."

"Of course."

John guided them to the coat check and waited for his coat and her wrap before taking her down the steps to wait for his motor to come around. Anna stood close but kept her hands to herself after they descended the stairs. The wind whipped through the street and she shivered slightly, catching John turning his head toward her in the peripherals of her vision.

"Would you like the use of my coat?"

"And then what would you wear?" Anna shook her head, "Thank you."

"I wanted to mention it earlier but my mother began her conversation sooner than I anticipated." John turned to her, his eyes never leaving hers. "You looked beautiful tonight."

"Thank you." Anna swallowed, trying to smile but forgetting how to move the muscles in her face. "If it's not too impolite to say, you looked rather dashing yourself."

"Thank you." John gave a half grin, "Emmaline said I should've come in uniform but I thought it might bring more attention to the evening than you were comfortable with… given the circumstances."

"Thank you for your consideration of my feelings." Anna turned to see a motor coming up the street but it passed them by. "That was very kind of you and you didn't have to."

"But I did, Ms. Smith." John stepped closer to her, his hands pulling gloves from his pockets to pull over his hands. "I also owe you an apology for the other day. I was rather rude to you and used your trust poorly. I hope you can forgive me."

Anna took a deep breath, "I've a feeling it wasn't just your mother's invitation here tonight that brought me to dine with you."

"She insisted when I said you'd rather not, given my behavior." John winced, "It's not what one should say about their mother but she can get involved where she, perhaps, does not belong."

"She cares a great deal for Emmaline."

"We all do." John motioned toward Anna, "That's why I…"

"Why what?"

"Why I believe I care for you, Ms. Smith." John cleared his throat and Anna hurried to try and stop her eyes widening as the breath caught in her throat. "Our meetings, up to this point, have been less than well-received and I've behaved abominably but I've come to know a side of you, through Emmaline's letters, that I believe I'd like to get to know more myself."

"You already said you know me through Emmaline's letters."

"But I'd like to know you through my own." John shrugged, "Emmaline writes weekly, almost daily when she can, and she talked about you. When I met you I couldn't quite fit the image I had of you with the image she gave but now, having seen you as I have on these three occasions, I believe you're much more than that."

"And that's the version of me you'd like to know?"

John nodded, "If you don't find it too improper."

"Having a friend to write to is never improper Captain Bates."

"I'd hoped it might not be as a friend." His voice lowered and before Anna could respond the motor came to the pavement.

John helped Anna inside and then boosted himself into the seat, setting off toward the school. They stayed silent, Anna pulling at the fingers of the gloves again and occasionally shifting her wrap as John focused on driving. When they reached the end of the drive he pulled the car to the stop and laid a hand lightly on Anna's arm when she went to leave.

"I intend to take you right up to the doors Ms. Smith."

"Then why've we stopped?"

"Because…" He swallowed, "I'd like to kiss you, if I can, and I don't believe the young ladies in that school or the faculty would approve of the sight."

"Captain Bates-"

"John, please."

"John," Anna waved a hand, "We barely know one another. What could make you desire to kiss me?"

"The fact that you risked everything to dine with my family and I. That's not a small thing to me." John ran his fingers over her hand and Anna lifted it enough for him to take hold. "And the idea that you'll write me and I'll get to know you better with each letter."

"And if you don't like what you read?"

"I don't think that's a worry."

"But if it were?" Anna waited and finally John nodded.

"Then I'd be glad for the opportunity to see a bit of your soul."

"My soul?"

"Your soul."

"And what," Anna could not help the little smirk that puckered her face, "Would you learn about my soul through letters?"

"Letters are a way to read a person's soul. They tell you what someone might not say to you in person." John waited, "If you're willing, that is."

"I don't see why not." Anna gave a little laugh, "You are an enigma, Captain John Bates, and I don't understand you at all."

"Perhaps, once you write to me, you will." He leaned forward and paused, "Might I kiss you?"

"What would it mean?"

"That I hope there'll be more to come." John waited, "One kiss to take with me when I go?"

Anna tipped her head forward and their lips met. For a moment neither of them moved and then one of her gloved hands ran over his face, regretting that she could only get the barest whiff of texture through the material. His hand still held her other, thumb rubbing circles over the back of it, while his other hand cupped along her jaw to guide her mouth with his.

The kiss ended after an eternity and an instant, leaving Anna to breathe rapidly through her nose. John stared at her and Anna could only let her face break into a wide smile. He reflected it before restarting the car and driving her the rest of the way to the school.

His hand helping her from the motor, and the kiss he left there, tingled over Anna's body until it built on the resounding emotions from their kiss. They said nothing and Anna went inside, making no noise once she removed her shoes to tip toe up the stairs. When she reached her room she opened he shades and saw him still standing there. Only the barest hint of a wave left her hand and he grinned up at her before driving his motor away.

She watched him go and then lay back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling until her eyes finally surrendered to sleep.


	8. Letters and Lies

Anna pressed the scrap to her sheet to dry the ink and then lifted the finished page, waving it around to make sure the last vestiges of it had soaked into the paper and would not stain her fingers when she touched it again. A knock at her bedroom door had her half-turning in her chair to see Emmaline there. They grinned at one another and Emmaline came into the room, sitting on the edge of Anna's bed as the other woman folded the sheet and tucked it with the others into an envelope that she handed over to Emmaline.

"There you go. Another letter at his request."

"He's never asked anyone else to write him but Grandmama and me." Emmaline tucked the envelope away. "What does it mean?"

"That we could all use more friends." Anna put her hands to her knees, pushing herself out of her chair. "Come on, we'd hate to start the morning off by being late to breakfast and we want to catch the postman before he can get away from us."

They walked down the stairs, chatting and giggling, until Emmaline pulled up short. Anna frowned and put a hand on the girl's arm, following her eye line to where Mr. Green and Mr. Moseley walked toward the dining hall. Neither of them spoke as the two men moved past them without realizing they even stood there.

"Emmaline?" Anna lowered her voice, waiting for the two men to walk away before steering their duo toward the front doors. "Are you alright?"

"You know how I've been taking a few of the classes Mr. Green's been offering? The ones for calculus?"

"Of course. Mr. Moseley was overjoyed when you chose to try the courses. He's said good things about you when we've talked." Anna paused, the two of them walking outside and pulling their arms about them as the chill breeze whispered by. "Is there something wrong with the course?"

"It's not the course so much as…" She broke off, waving at the bicycle as it pulled to a stop. "Morning Peter."

"Morning Ms. Bates." The boy stopped, frowning at Anna. "I'm sorry ma'am but I don't-"

"Ms. Smith." Anna extended her hand, "It's lovely to meet you Peter. You've done an excellent job delivering the mail."

"It's what I can do." Peter nodded at them and opened his bag for Emmaline. "If you'd please?"

Emmaline placed the two letters inside the bag and waved Peter off as he kicked his bicycle into motion. They watched another minute before Anna rubbed her hand over Emmaline's back. "Let's get you inside."

They reentered the building but Anna held them back inside the doorway. Emmaline faced her, holding her arms around her torso, and took a breath. "About what I said-"

"If you need to tell me anything Emmaline I want you to feel like you can."

"It's not that, Ms. Smith. It's-"

"What?" Anna frowned but Emmaline only shook her head.

"I'm not supposed to speak ill of a teacher."

"Which teacher?"

"Mr. Green, ma'am." Emmaline paused, "He's a good teacher and an excellent lecturer but there's something about him that sets my teeth on edge."

"How so?"

"I don't know. It's like… being around him makes all the hairs on my body stand on end and it just…"

"Are you still going to the lectures?"

"No." Emmaline shook her head, "I've not got any desire to continue taking those courses. I'll stick with Mr. Moseley's lectures."

"Good girl." Anna smiled, leading Emmaline toward the dining hall but pausing when Mr. Green appeared in the corridor. "Why don't you go on ahead? I hear Mrs. Patmore's got something quite delicious this morning."

"It's scones and gravy." Green walked toward them, hands in his trouser pockets. "I do hope neither of you are intending on missing it."

Emmaline nodded at both of them and hurried toward the dining hall. Anna tapped the tips of her fingers together, forcing a smile as she faced Green. "Good morning Mr. Green. I do hope you availed yourself of the scones before they're all gone."

"Mr. Moseley and I already ate." Mr. Green patted his stomach. "It was delicious."

"Mrs. Patmore never fails to impress." Anna went to walk toward the dining hall but paused when she noticed Mr. Green shifting his jaw. "Was there something else, Mr. Green?"

"The other night," He shoved a hand back in his trouser pocket, pacing toward the dining hall as he used his finger to scratch the other side of his face. "You looked rather beautiful."

Anna noted the tense line of his shoulders before he shrugged, waiting for her response. She took a deep breath, noting the hair on her arms raising slightly, and widened her smile. "Thank you."

"I was just curious why you were dressed so beautifully."

"I was doing my duty for the school." Anna nodded at him, "Good morning, Mr. Green."

"Ms. Smith," His voice stopped her and Anna clenched her fingers, as they wrapped awkwardly together. "I was curious if your refusal to take dinner with me had anything to do with your evening obligations."

"No, that was an entirely personal choice." Anna shrugged, "It's… It'd set a poor example for the girls and, as instructors at this school, we've got to put ourselves in a position where we're beyond reproach."

"And you're afraid sharing dinner with me would ruin that?"

"I'm afraid that there's too much gossip already." Anna bit at her cheek as Mr. Green's eyebrows perked up. "It's…"

"Are you one for rumors Ms. Smith?"

Anna held herself higher, "Are there rumors I need to be aware of, Mr. Green?"

He pulled his mouth into a thin line. "Have a good morning Ms. Smith. Enjoy the scones."

Anna waited a beat and walked into the dining hall. She took one of the seats near Mrs. Hughes, scooting closer to her and lowering her voice to speak over the rattling din of the girls pouring milk and sugar onto their porridge or cutting into their scones. Mrs. Hughes blinked at her, chewing her way through a banger on her plate, and leaned closer as Anna spoke.

"Had a morning have you?"

"I'm actually more interested in something Mr. Green said to me in the corridor just now." Anna peeked around before speaking again. "Are there any rumors circulating about Mr. Green?"

"In what context?"

"In any context."

Mrs. Hughes swallowed and lowered her utensils to her plate. "Did he say something to you?"

"He asked if I listened to rumors about him."

"Which makes you believe there are some about him?" Mrs. Hughes wiped her hands on a napkin and let it beside her plate. "There weren't any when Mr. Moseley invited him here for the guest lectures but I could ask a few people."

"Maybe…" Anna shook her head. "I'm just being silly saying anything at all."

"Not if there is anything to your worries." Mrs. Hughes shuddered, "I'll admit, the man's good at maths and Mr. Moseley's a bit besotted with his skills as a lecturer but there's something about him that doesn't sit right with me."

"Emmaline mentioned that to be as well. It's why I'm asking."

"Has he made any kind of advances toward you?"

Anna cringed, "He asked me to dinner. I said I was far too busy but then he saw me leaving for dinner with Emmaline's family the other night and-"

"Just keep an eye out." Mrs. Hughes stood, "You and I need to meet later anyway. Discussions about the Autumn Festival can't be put off much longer or Ms. O'Brien might just burst a blood vessel."

"I'd hate to add to her labors." Anna pulled her plate of cold scones and gravy closer. "I'm already in her bad books."

"She only has bad books." Mrs. Hughes grumbled as she left, leaving Anna to give a little smile to herself before shoveling cold breakfast down as quickly as she could.

With the weather turning colder and the leaves in full bursting color, the classes huddled closer. Both for warmth and to whisper their excitements about the rumors they heard regarding the upcoming Autumn Festival. Anna entered the room, rushing to beat the shrill bell that rattled in the hallways and still put her teeth on edge. It brought the girls from their discussions and Anna's tap on her desk kept them from returning to them once the shrieking stopped.

"I know you're all excited about the upcoming Autumn Festival and you've already heard rumors about it. What I can tell you is that the rumor that we're joining with Haxby for the social at the end of the month is true." She waited as the girls giggled and practically screamed their excitement. "And there will hayrides."

The excitement at this announcement did not ring as warmly but Anna took it all the same. "Now, please pull out your textbooks. We're discussing Catherine the Great today."

The morning swam into afternoon and Anna dismissed her students before welcoming Mrs. Hughes into her classroom. Both of them sighed at one another as Anna shut the door to leave them in peace. Mrs. Hughes laughed, shaking her head, "Long morning?"

"I made the mistake of telling the girls the rumor about Downton and Haxby joining for the social was true." Anna winced, "I don't think Ms. O'Brien'll thank me for that."

"At least it puts to rest the rumors we're inviting other girls schools to participate." Mrs. Hughes took her turn to shudder. "I couldn't imagine trying to herd more girls than the ones we have. They're like cats already."

"More like chickens sometimes with their constant chittering." Anna took her seat and waited as Mrs. Hughes took the one opposite the desk to spread the plans between them. "You said Mrs. Patmore wants to cater?"

"She's excited about decorating everything with orange and red frostings now that she's got a better coloring agent for them." Mrs. Hughes made a note on a paper. "And Headmaster Strallan is interested in getting his young men into parade."

"That might not be wise." Anna shook her head. "All our girls seeing young men in prospective uniform. It won't end well."

"I quite agree. I insisted on their school uniforms and they'll come over on the wagons we're using for the hayrides."

"Should we worry about any of the girls?" Anna made a note for herself. "If we've got any with hay fever or other allergies it could be a problem for them."

"As far as I know the only problem will be the farmers from the village." Mrs. Hughes handed Anna a paper. "It's not quite a stock show but it's close to one and there will be animals pens. I don't want anyone getting too close to them. For a number of reasons."

"We'll make sure they're well chaperoned if they want to go through where they'll keep the pens." Anna pointed to another spot on the diagrams. "I'm worried about the booths."

"Too many swindlers and not enough money?" Anna nodded and Mrs. Hughes snorted her laugh. "That's for the parents to worry over. They're the ones who give them their allowances."

"What about keeping the more… ambitious ones from finding a quiet corner with one of the Haxby students?"

Mrs. Hughes sighed, "We can't just keep them all locked up forever."

"I seem to remember you having more than a few words with Mary about her quiet corners at a fair."

They both laughed, Mrs. Hughes marking something on the diagram. "Then we'll make sure the girls know a few places are off limits."

"And keep guards there?" Anna teased before trying to pull a straight face as Mrs. Hughes leveled her pen at her.

"I'll take no lip from you Anna Smith. I gave you that talk as well."

"A quick kiss with Jack Harkness under an eve didn't mean anything."

"He was an incorrigible flirt."

Anna opened her mouth in protest. "All he ever said to you was 'hello' and then introduced himself."

"You and I both know it was more than that for him."

Anna laughed, "Maybe it was."

"Which brings me to this," Mrs. Hughes pulled a letter from her pocket and handed it over to Anna. "I thought it best to snag that before it was given out with all the other mail over breakfast."

Anna took the letter, smiling at the name on it before tucking it away. "You're right. Thank you."

"Anna…" Mrs. Hughes tapped her pen against her fingers. "I know that you're no longer one of the students here but you'll always be one of my girls and, that being said, I think I need to say something."

"About?"

"It's more of a warning." Mrs. Hughes pointed to where Anna tucked the letter. "Captain Bates is a good man, that I'll not deny, but involving yourself too closely with his family will put you on the wrong side of the situation."

"Of which situation?"

"Everything." Mrs. Hughes motioned around them. "This school is filled with girls who have mouths that move faster than their minds and parents who'll do anything to gain an advantage. I don't want them to use whatever relationship you have with the Captain to damage your reputation or Emmaline's."

"I can promise you that whatever relationship Captain Bates and I are developing in our letters, it's entirely as friends."

"I wasn't born yesterday Anna."

"And I wouldn't lie to you." Anna went back to the papers. "Now, about the arrangement of the booths."

They continued working until someone knocked on the door to Anna's room. Both women narrowed their eyes at one another before Anna pushed back from the desk to open it. Standing there, next to a man in Naval uniform, stood Ms. O'Brien.

"Ms. Smith I do hope you're not busy."

"Mrs. Hughes and I were just finalizing our plans for the Autumn Festival." Anna peeked over her shoulder to where Mrs. Hughes organized the papers, shifting around to Anna's side of the desk to collect it all. "We're submitting the final designs to Lady Mary by tomorrow morning and everything'll be settled and finalized by end of the week."

"Just in time." Ms. O'Brien waved a hand toward the man. "This is Captain Barrow, an old friend of mine from when my father served in the Navy with his father. He's here for a visit with myself and another of his old friends, Ms. Baxter."

"Oh," Anna extended her hand to him. "Ms. Baxter's been an absolutely blessing here. Helped me more than I can say when I first arrived."

"She's a helpful one, that's for sure."

"How do you know her?"

"We grew up together." Captain Barrow's eyes frosted a bit, making Anna shudder slightly. "But Ms. O'Brien here's been telling me that you and I've got another friend in common."

"What a small world it must be."

"That it must." He kept his hat under his arm, using his other hand to smooth over his hair. "What have you heard from Captain Bates recently?"

"He's-" Anna stopped herself, eyes narrowing. "I'm sorry, but why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you think I've heard anything from Captain Bates?"

"His daughter's a student here yes?" Captain Barrow shrugged, "I'd have thought the implication obvious."

"Whatever I may've heard, from his daughter, about the state of Captain Bates is between she and I." Anna straightened, "I'm not one to break a confidence, Captain."

"I'm sure you're not." Captain Barrow took a breath, noting Mrs. Hughes coming to Anna's shoulder. "But he's not in the best of positions at the moment."

"Then that's none of my business." Anna faced Mrs. Hughes, "I'll take those to Lady Mary this afternoon actually. I think she'd like to have them sooner rather than later."

"I quite agree." Mrs. Hughes handed over the organized papers, her fingers brushing the letter back into Anna's hand under the pile. "Some things ought not be left for later. Don't you think?"

Anna arranged the stack, maneuvering the letter so it could slip into the pocket of her bag as she bent to retrieve it. She straightened, taking the coat Mrs. Hughes laid over her arm, and then facing the two still in her doorway. "May I?"

"Ms. Smith," Ms. O'Brien blocked her way for a moment. "I'd remind you that we're interested in setting a good example for the girls."

"That's only ever been my goal, Ms. O'Brien."

"Then I'll further remind you that helping Captain Barrow is to our mutual benefit."

Anna shot a look toward Captain Barrow before meeting Ms. O'Brien's eyes again. "And I'm willing to aid Captain Barrow in whatever capacity I can. I simply have nothing to offer him."

"Nothing at all?"

Anna did not back down. "Nothing." She held up the papers, "Now, if you please, I've got to get these somewhere else."

"Then we'll not delay you any longer."

Anna slipped by the two of them, catching the slight nod from Mrs. Hughes as she turned down the corridor, and shuddered the moment she was out of sight.

* * *

When the Autumn Festival arrived the weeks of painting, preparing, and anticipating paid off in a rush. The girls giggled and chattered through breakfast until Ms. O'Brien called them all to attention. They paused their conversations, snapping their eyes to the Headmistress standing above them like their overlord.

"As you all know, today is the Autumn Festival. It's an opportunity for us to participate with the village and with the boys from Haxby School in some fun for the season. As such I expect nothing but the best of behaviors from all of our students. Should I hear any negative reports, even as whispers, I can promise the girls named will be severely punished."

The room quieted, girls turning to their plates or tensing at the speech. Ms. O'Brien continued. "The staff here have the lists of names for the girls they'll be personally responsible for. Each of you will also take a partner to act as both your monitor and your friend. No one is allowed to wander alone and if there are any girls alone either because they left their partner or because their partner left them, both parties will be punished."

"But Headmistress," All eyes turned to Edna as she stood from her seat, ignoring the tug on her blouse from Sara right next to her. "We've not got an even number for two-by-twos."

"Then you'll be in a group of three, Ms. Braithwaite. Now sit down." Ms. O'Brien's tone brooked no argument and Edna retook her seat under the hawk-eyed glare of the Headmistress. "Now, you've got a bit of time to prepare. School hates, gloves, scarves, and jackets are to be worn. There will be a limit on the hayrides until four o'clock. After that you'll gather up and return back here in time for the supper bell. Anyone late will lose privileges and earn themselves more than a few demerits."

She swept the room and then nodded, "That's all. Dismissed."

Anna rose from the table with the rest of the girls, herding them from the room until a hand landed on her arm. She turned, almost taking a step back from Ms. O'Brien's glare. "Is there something I can do for you, Ms. O'Brien?"

"You can tell me why you're writing to Captain Bates." She held up a letter and Anna restrained herself from reaching for it. "When Captain Barrow was here-"

"I said I hadn't heard anything and that truth's unchanged."

"Then what does this letter say?"

"It's simply a record of his daughter's efforts here." Anna paused, "It was part of the agreement when he allowed Emmaline back that he be kept informed of her progress."

"And you're doing that?" Ms. O'Brien slapped the letter back in Anna's hand. "Taking the initiative upon yourself are you?"

"It was at his request and, as a representative of the school, I thought it best I take action in that regard." Anna noted the twitch on Ms. O'Brien's face. "Should I have anything to offer you or Captain Barrow I'll make a point of telling you."

"Be sure you do." Ms. O'Brien shook herself. "I'm going to enjoy a day of peace and quiet."

"You're not coming to the Festival?"

Ms. O'Brien snorted, "I've no use for festivities and frivolities only bound to give me a raging head ache. You have a good day Ms. Smith."

"I'm sure I will." Anna followed the line of girls to the foyer where Mrs. Hughes ran a head count and organized them into pairs. "Anything I can do?"

"Not detest me when I tell you two pieces of bad news." Mrs. Hughes pointed, "You'll be managing the group with Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting."

"What's the second piece of bad news?"

"The third member or their groups is Emmaline."

Both women exchanged a sigh of commiseration before Anna nodded. "I understand."

"In a different world-"

"In a better world, Mrs. Hughes." Anna summoned her group. "Come on girls. We don't want to miss any of the fun."

They tramped down to the village, the giggling and laughing increasing as they went. It was, as Mrs. Hughes had said, a bit like herding cats, but Anna released them to their activities within the bounds of the fair. She paced about, keeping a special eye on Emmaline until someone called her name.

She turned, a smile breaking across her face as Mary approached. A man dragged behind her with a boy seated on his hip and Anna greeted Mary with a kiss to her cheek before shaking the man's hand. "How is the Crawley family?"

"Well as can be expected." Mary motioned about them, "This is possibly the best Autumn Festival we've ever hosted."

"It was mostly the work of Mrs. Hughes." Anna's eyes darted to the side, checking on the girls in her line of sight and frowning when she noticed a few missing.

"And your help." Mary wagged a finger at her, "Don't think I don't recognize your handiwork here. All those ideas we batted around that tiny room finally come to fruition."

"In a way." Anna hid her smile and then lowered her voice. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." Mary kissed Matthew's cheek and then her son's. "I won't be a minute, promise, and then we're bobbing for apples."

Anna led Mary to an unoccupied section of ground and spoke. "I've a few things to ask you about."

"If it's about how you're performing to the Board I'll only tell you I think they're all about chomping the bit to extend you an opportunity for tenure." Mary frowned, "But that's not it, is it?"

"What do you know about Captain Barrow?"

"Only that he's a friend of the Headmistress. He attended Haxby a few years behind us and he's apparently up for a position similar to one Captain Bates holds. But I only know that because my father's a friend of more than one Naval officer. Why do you ask?"

"Because he was asking what I'd heard about Captain Bates."

"Anything?"

"Nothing I'll tell them." Anna shuddered, "And what do you know of the calculus lecturer we've hosted at Downton?"

"Can't be more than you." Mary's eyes narrowed, "Is there something to know?"

Anna shrugged, "Mrs. Hughes was looking into it but he'd mentioned something about rumors. I was wondering if you'd heard anything from Tony about him?"

"All I know from Tony is that he recommended him but that's all I know." Mary sighed, "I could make a few inquires of my own."

"No." Anna shook her head. "We both know you've not got a light tread and I'd rather not alert anyone to it until we know better."

"I don't like the sound of that." Mary looked around, "I need to find my son and husband so they're not losing too many games."

"And I need to find some missing girls." Anna hurried off, "Thank you."

"Only my pleasure." Mary waved a hand as she vanished into the crowd.


	9. After the Festival

(One of the following scenes was inspired by Natalie Dormer's performance in _Picnic at Hanging Rock_.)

Anna dodged a line of running children, grinning and waving at the girls who went around the carousel. She counted them, turning in a circle to get a tally of the girls at the surrounding booths, and then walked to where Mrs. Hughes stood speaking with Mr. Carson. "We're missing a couple."

"I think some found their quiet corners." Mrs. Hughes sighed, "I guess I'll start by the animal pens if you're willing to root any out of the stables."

"The horses are lovely."

"They're a lovely spot for a bit of petting and I don't mean they're petting horses." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "I'll risk herding more cats next year if it means we're not struggling to stop girls and boys obeying basic biology."

"Law of attraction more like." Anna sighed, "I'll see if I can lure them out for the hayrides and tell them they're allowed to hold hands."

"As long as that's all they're holding."

Anna nodded her agreement, hurrying away through the crowds around the booths. When she finally escaped the knot of people, congested about the fun and games, the silence of the area around the stables was a blessed relief. But the moment of contented calm only lasted a moment.

A group of Haxby boys, their uniforms in various states of wear, stood just outside the doors. Their hushed whispers stopped the moment she came into their view and they straightened as Anna pulled up short. None of them met her gaze, fixing their gazes either at their shoes or the ground about them, and the little hairs on the back of Anna's neck rose.

She went to speak but another noise inside the stables drew her attention. Setting her jaw firmly, Anna pointed at the boys to force their eyes to meet hers while their bodies quivered. "If any of you move from this spot before I come back I'll make sure you're in more trouble than you already are."

"But miss," One of them risked, taking the elbow his fellow lodged between his ribs with a considerable wince. "You don't know us. How could you know if we'd gone?"

"Because I've got a good memory for faces and a cordial friendship with your headmaster who will, I assure you, stand you all out on parade so I can pick you from a crowd of your peers for punishment." They straightened, almost snapping to attention. "Now, stay here and say nothing until I get back."

They froze and nodded, one of them shivering so badly Anna saw he wet himself. She sighed, wishing to dispel the fear in their eyes but it kept them still and that is what she needed. Especially when she pushed into the stable and stopped at the sight ahead of her.

Emmaline's white knuckles shone in the dusky light of the stables as they wrapped, trembling, around the haft of a pitchfork. A pitchfork, Anna noted as she approached, stabbed firmly through the shoe of a Haxby boy. A Haxby boy shuddering and going pale the longer he stood upright.

Behind Emmaline, holding one another as they quailed and sobbed silently, Anna saw Edna and Sara. Turning to them, ignoring the sight of Emmaline and the Haxy boy she kept still, Anna cleared her throat. The shock of paleness on their faces kept their eyes locked on the scene and completely ignorant of Anna's presence until she cleared her throat again. They jumped, squeaking in fright and then shrieking again at the sound of their voices. Voices they then tried to use to explain the scene but Anna held up a hand.

"Both of you will wait outside, with the Haxby boys, and say nothing. Not to one another, not to them, and not to anyone who passes until I return. Do you understand?" They nodded, almost hard enough and fast enough to knock their chins against their chests. "Good. Get out of here now."

They ran for the doors and Anna turned back to Emmaline. It was then, in approaching the pair in an odd tableau, she noticed a cowering boy just to Emmaline's side. As she sidestepped Emmaline, Anna recognized Peter, the postboy, and offered him a hand. He took it and she heaved him to his feet.

When his face became clear Anna noticed the blood from his nose, the bruises gathering about his eye and cheek, and how he limped while holding his side. She stepped back, nodding at Emmaline and looking him in the eye. "Peter, I need you to take Ms. Bates here outside. Wait near the others and speak to no one. Do you understand me?"

Peter nodded and limped to Emmaline. He went to touch her but Anna stopped him, slipping between the two to put a hand on Emmaline's shoulder. She jerked, tugging a bit on the pitchfork to leave the Haxby boy groaning, and faced Anna with her face as pale as the bleached shirt under her school jacket.

Before she could speak Anna raised a hand. "Peter's going to take you outside. Speak to no one but wait there. Do you understand?"

Emmaline nodded and then flinched as if she only just now remembered she still held a pitchfork. She went to say something else but Anna stopped her again, placing her hands carefully over Emmaline's to pry them loose. "Easy does it now."

Her fingers trembled in Anna's hands as she moved them off the pitchfork and then grabbed it before it could move anymore in the boy's foot. Anna nodded to Peter and the boy escorted Emmaline out. That only left the injured Haxby boy and Anna, she still holding the pitchfork in his foot.

"Now, stay still and this shouldn't hurt worst than it already does." Anna went to jerk it loose and the boy whimpered, digging in his jacket for a metal flask. He took a swig before Anna could snatch it from his hand. He gaped when she swigged herself and offered it back. "Take another. You'll need it."

"Have you… Have you been a nurse ma'am?" His voice quavered and whimpered as his hands shook the flask back to his mouth.

"No, but I did grow up on a farm." Anna tightened her grip on the pitchfork and yanked upward in a smooth motion.

The boy collapsed, vomiting to the side. Anna inspected the pitchfork before burying it in a pile used hay and horse dung before hanging it back on the wall. She bent over the boy, loosening the flask from his clinging fingers, and poured the remaining contents over the injuries on his foot. He howled and she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Keep quiet." Anna shook the flask to empty and tucked it back into his pocket. "Give me your tie."

"What?"

"Your tie. Now please." He tugged it off with difficulty but Anna managed to unloop it and then wrap it tightly over his foot, pulling until the boy hissed in pain. "Your hand please."

"What for?"

"To help you up."

"Why?"

Anna rolled her eyes and crouched next to where he still hissed and sobbed in pain. "Because if you don't get up now then I'll tell Headmaster Strallan that you got trod on by a horse because you were feeling a bit randy about it."

His face paled. "That's not true."

"No, it's not. But it'll ruin you and whatever prospects your parents hoped to have for you. Your reputation will be in tatters and then you might get the foolish notion of exacting revenge." Anna nodded toward the pitchfork, "And then I'll have to stick that somewhere else that you'll like even less than your foot."

She stood and stuck out her hand. "Now, grab my hand and stand up."

He took her hand and then looped his arm over her should so she could help him outside with the others, to finish forming the odd cabal of embarrassed, frightened, injured, and nervous students. Anna left the boy in the care of his fellows, who all chattered and gasped until Anna hushed them to silence. Her eyes narrowed as she inspected the line before finally landing on Emmaline.

"Please tell me what happened." All the others tried to speak but Anna quieted them. "I asked Ms. Bates to tell me. When it's appropriate I'll ask the rest of you what happened in turn. Until then I intend to get the truth from one person. Should any of you continue speaking you'll find I'm not in the best of moods."

They quieted and Anna nodded at Emmaline. "Please tell me what happened."

Emmaline nodded, the color in her face only slightly offsetting the paleness linger there, and coughed to clear her throat. She swallowed and began, her voice so low Anna had to step toward her to hear better. "I was walking the festival with Sara and Edna when I ran into Peter."

"Ran into?"

"I encountered him." Emmaline took a hurried look at the boy at her side. "He told me about the horses and offered to show me the ones they'd brought since his father's the stable owner."

"And you brought Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting with you I assume?"

"They said they would come if we would ride the carousel afterward." Anna frowned and Emmaline hurried to explain. "I get sick on them easily and so I wasn't willing to go but…"

"To see the horses you agreed to risk getting sick?" Emmaline nodded. "Then what happened? Did you take the carousel first?"

"No Miss. First Peter took us to the stables and we passed that group of Haxby boys passing around a flask outside." She shuddered, not looking at the boys. "They… They invited us to participate and Edna and Sara wanted to stay with them but I said no."

Anna held up a hand to stop Emmaline and faced Edna and Sara. "Did you?" The two girls shot furtive looks at one another and then nodded. "I'll keep that in mind then."

"It was only-" Edna tried to argue but Anna stopped her with a hand.

"I'm sure you'll appreciate, Ms. Braithwaite that you're already in quite a deal of trouble. Please refrain from making your situation worse." Anna turned back to Emmaline. "Continue, please."

"Peter and I went into the stables and he was explaining the horses and their pedigrees to me when the Haxby boys entered." Emmaline managed a shuddering breath and faced the boys with a tinge of red offsetting her paleness. "They mocked Peter's explanations and started to push him. When he went to get away from them they hemmed him in and started beating him."

Anna raised her eyebrows and turned to the boys. "Kicking and punching you learned in the hopes you'll serve His Majesty in His armed forces I'd imagine." None of the boys could meet her eyes. "I'm sure you all felt very big with five on one."

They continued to maintain their silence and Anna nodded at Emmaline to continue. She took another breath, "I tried to step in but Edna and Sara held me back, goading the boys on."

"We didn't want her to get hit by accident." Sara managed, her voice barely a squeaking whisper. "They were seeing red and she might've gotten hurt."

"And I'm sure you wish to maintain, Ms. Bunting, that was your only motivation." Sara nodded quickly and Anna took a deep breath. "And want, Ms. Bates, happened next?"

"He," She pointed to the boy with the mangled foot, "Heard me and ordered Sara and Edna to let me go. He left his friends to continue beating Peter and backed me into the wall. His hands were…"

"Were they on you?" Emmaline shook her head and pointed down. "Did he touch you or himself?"

"His trousers were…"

Anna took a deep breath and put her hands on her hips. "Is that when you grabbed the pitchfork?"

"It was right there and I just… I wanted him away from me so I-"

"It's alright." Anna sucked the insides of her cheeks and pointed to Peter. "Ms. Bates, please take Peter here to Doctor Clarkson. I want him seen to immediately. If you can't find him then Mrs. Isobel Crawley. She'll know what to do and who to tell."

Emmaline helped Peter limp away, moving slowly to keep him at a pace that would add no more grimaces to his already sweating and battered face. Anna turned to Edna and Sara. "And what happened next?"

"We screamed Miss." Sara shook her head, red curls bouncing under her hat. "We didn't know what to do and we couldn't move. The shock Miss it…"

"Did you taunt the poor boy for his attempt to tell Ms. Bates about the horses?" Sara and Edna took a moment before nodding. "Both of you will return to the school this instant. You'll speak to no one and you'll wait in your room until I get back to deal with you."

"But Miss-" Edna tried to speak but Anna silenced her.

"Unless you'd like me to explain this whole fiasco to the Headmistress. I'm sure Ms. O'Brien will be more than happy to hear about your adventures this afternoon and the possible ramifications they've brought to the school." That cowed both girls, clutching at one another and paling even further. "Now, get back to the school."

They dashed off, hurrying over the gravel with the sounds of their sobs wafting back toward Anna. She turned to the waiting boys, the injured one almost pale enough to be mistaken for a sheet of paper. "As for you, I'm sure you'll all agree that it's best we never speak of this again."

Nods went around the group until one spoke. "What'll we say about him?"

"You'll take him to Doctor Clarkson. You'll say nothing about or to Peter. He'll not say anything about you either but that's because he's a bigger man than the five of you combined." Anna shook her head, "Pride of the Country you are."

"What'll we tell Doctor Clarkson?"

Anna shrugged, "I'm sure he understands that it hurts like the Devil to be trod on by a horse."

"How do we say-"

"You were drunk and horsing around the stables, ignoring the pun." Anna's nose scrunched, "You all certainly smell like a distillery so it's not hard to believe one of you got too close to a particularly skittish horse and it stepped on his foot."

"But we didn't-"

Anna raised her hand to silence the boy. "Say anything else or deviate in the slightest from that story and I'll make sure that everyone knows that you pick on smaller men and assault women. More to the point, there'll be a vicious rumor about what else the five of you do with one another and horses in stables." Every one of them now looked as white as their friend. "Go and find Doctor Clarkson before his foot gets infected and they have to cut it off him."

The five of them staggered away, carrying their now unconscious friend between them, and Anna sagged against the wall of the stables. She managed a step forward and vomited along the wall, catching herself before she could fall over. It took a moment but she pushed herself away from the wall and walked away from the stables enough to put both of her hands on her hips and tip her head up to breathe deeply.

She got her breathing under control and stiffened her back to head back toward the festival. On the winding path, joining the late-afternoon congestion, she ran into Mrs. Hughes as their shoulders knocked together. Both women winced and then sighed in relief at the sight of the other.

"I've been combing all over. We're still missing Ms. Braithwaite, Ms. Bunting, and Ms. Bates."

"I found them at the stables." Anna tried to smile but it lasted less than a second and could not stretch over her face. "Ms. Braithwaite and Bunting are back at the school now."

"Not feeling well?"

"Awaiting punishment."

Mrs. Hughes's eyebrows rose. "Is there a reason?"

"It's a long story that involves the postboy, five students from Haxby, and a conversation I'll have in triplicate." Anna shuddered, "Ms. Bates is escorting the postboy to Doctor Clarkson."

"Do I want to hear this story?"

"It'll be better if I tell you this evening." Anna motioned to the Festival. "I need to speak to Headmaster Strallan before he hears this story from someone else."

"Would he like the telling?"

"I doubt it." Anna started when Mrs. Hughes put a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be alright Anna. I'm sure you've handled the situation."

"I… I did something. I'm not sure it was the right thing/"

"You cared for the girls and protected them. That's our job." Mrs. Hughes turned to the Festival. "I'll take care of the rest of these girls. Take care of yours and trust yourself. I'm sure you know what you're doing."

"I'm sure I don't."

"Then let me tell you a secret." Mrs. Hughes lowered her voice and put her mouth by Anna's ear. "None of us do."

"That doesn't give me any more confidence than I had a moment ago."

"But now you know you're not alone and that's sufficient." Mrs. Hughes nodded toward the village hospital. "Better get Ms. Bates back to the school."

"And determine a suitable punishment for Ms. Bunting and Ms. Braithwaite."

"I'll leave that in your hands."

"No suggestions?"

"One should never involve themselves in the dealing between others." Mrs. Hughes shook her head. "Even if I had any ideas it'd be as a third party. They'd only get nervous that you've told everyone about today's disaster."

"Should I tell Ms. O'Brien?"

"Certainly not. The less she knows about it the better." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on Anna's arm. "She'll want to protect the school and that will, inevitably, come back negatively on the girls."

"But if they tell their parents about whatever punishment I give-"

"They'll keep quiet if they want to preserve their reputations. Same with those Haxby boys."

"You don't even know what happened yet."

"I don't have to. I know people. They'll be so frightened of what the others might say they'll keep quiet." Mrs. Hughes ushered Anna away. "Go on, you've got enough on your plate without making more trouble for yourself by imagining how things could go poorly."

"They could go more poorly?"

"Everything, Anna, can always get worse."

Anna only nodded her response and hurried off through the crowds. She found Headmaster Strallan, a man with a rather prominently pointed nose and his right arm in a sling that lent to an overall demeanor of a man of few words but significant action, and quickly introduced herself. "I'm not sure you remember me, Headmaster, but-"

"I remember what you and Lady Mary got up to with Lord Gillingham at my school." He laughed, "I'd heard they'd taken you on at Downton but I wasn't sure."

"They were kind enough to take me back." Anna tried to smile and then swallowed, "But, unfortunately, I'm not here to discuss the past."

"We rarely are." He bent his head closer to hear her. "What do you need to discuss with me?"

Anna relayed the tale as concisely as possible, describing the boys and explaining their current location. Headmaster Strallan's jaw tightened and he took a few deep breaths before finally managing to speak. "That's not the behavior of a Haxby boy. They know our code and they've…" He held up his left hand. "I apologize, Ms. Smith, I'm a bit out of sorts at the moment."

"I understand and if it weren't so grave I might not even bring it to your attention but-"

"There's an injured boy and five total who've damaged the reputation of our school through their behavior. This is grave indeed." Headmaster Strallan cleared his throat. "I'll handle this situation with as much… delicacy as I can manage while treating the situation with the hand it deserves."

"I've no doubt you'll be the epitome of a velvet hammer, Headmaster. Always the firm but gentle hand."

"I've only one of them now so it'll have to do." They both managed a little laugh. "And what of the poor postboy?"

"I'm going to hospital now, to retrieve Ms. Bates and see to him, but I believe he'll heal nicely. Ms. Bates managed to shock them away from him before they caused any permanent damage."

"Any damage at all is unacceptable." Headmaster Strallan shook his head. "Too much entitlement and too few brains between them."

"The finest of the next generation."

"Not at this rate." Headmaster Strallan extended his left hand and Anna shook it. "I can promise this will be resolved Ms. Smith."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

Anna hurried toward the hospital and wove through the displays made for the village to discuss the recent changes and available treatments. She nodded at those from the village who greeted her but worked into the building itself. It did not take her long to locate Emmaline, twisting her fingers in her lap on one of the benches just outside the ward, and take the seat beside her.

Without a word Emmaline turned her head to Anna's shoulder and broke down into tears. Anna held her close, running a hand over her back to soothe the wracking sobs shaking her body. In less than a few minutes she pulled back, wiping at her eyes from under her spectacles.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"Never apologize for having emotions." Anna held her hand up so Emmaline could see the tremble to it. "You're not the only one who's reached her boiling point."

"But, back at the stables, you were so calm and-"

"Needs must." Anna shrugged, "The moment you'd all gone I vomited because I was so overcome."

"You vomited?"

"I did pull a pitchfork out of a boy's foot."

Emmaline cringed, "Am I going to be in trouble for-"

"Absolutely not. You did nothing of which you need be ashamed." Anna put her hand over Emmaline's, squeezing for a moment. "Although I would advise you not inform your father about any of this."

"Why not?"

"I'm sure Captain Bates's solution to this kind of problem would be find each and every one of those boys, conscript them into the Navy, and then keelhaul them."

Emmaline managed a watery giggle, "He would."

"Then let's leave them to the capable hands of Headmaster Strallan." Anna's lips quirked toward a smile. "I was impressed by your work. It was a clean stab."

"Have you seen many?"

"I've seen people trod on by horses, kicked by them, trampled by cows and sheep, charged by pigs…" Anna laughed, "Life on the farm as a child. It was an experience that told me two things."

"What?"

"First, that people will always surprise with how stupid they can be. Second, that I never wanted to have a farm of my own." Anna sighed, "But I guess the second one did not turn out the way I hoped."

"How'd you mean?"

Anna motioned about them, "I'm still herding aren't I?"

Emmaline laughed and then nodded toward the ward. "Doctor Clarkson says both Peter and the other boy'll be fine. Peter'll have quite a few bruises and be sore but at least he won't have to worry over infection."

"That pitchfork wasn't the cleanest of weapons."

"Next time I'll make sure it's new."

"I'd prefer," Anna stood and offered a hand to help Emmaline do the same. "You never have a next time."

"Me too." Emmaline ducked her head, "What about Sara and Edna?"

"They're back up at the school." Anna looped her arm through Emmaline's, "Where we're going right now."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No but you do need rest and some time to contemplate the events of today." Anna guided them outside, weaving back through the throng. "It all happened so fast that I don't think any of us have really-"

She could not finish her comment as a cry went out from those near the animal pens. A herd of sheep and pigs broke loose from their pens and charged toward the festivities. Screams and shouts mixed as the farm hands worked to try and corral their charges before they caused too much damage.

But it was already too late. Booths toppled, people tripped, and Anna only just grabbed Emmaline's arm to keep her out of the path of some particularly large charging pigs. They flattened themselves against the stone wall until the pigs passed and Anna turned toward the animal pens to try and see what caused the commotion.

There, standing amongst the pens, were Edna and Sara. Sara tugged on Edna's arm, as if to drag her away, but Edna stayed still. Anna scowled at her a moment before turning to Emmaline.

"Get back to the school."

"But they might need help and-"

"And you're not dressed for it and you've not got the experience." Anna waved down Mrs. Hughes, pointing back toward the pens. "Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting-"

"Fit the description I just received from Headmaster Strallan." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "Poor man was almost trampled by some sheep and I think they broke one of his toes."

"Will you gather them and-"

"I'll get the other girls." Emmaline volunteered, cowering a bit as the two older women stared at her. "I can, I mean I'm older and-"

"Good idea." Mrs. Hughes called to the girls around her. "Follow Ms. Bates here back to the school. Find any other Downton girls and get them to go with you."

The girls hurried to swarm Emmaline, creating a little mob in their scarlet coats with silver embroidery. Mrs. Hughes went immediately to catch Edna and Sara, before they could escape, and Anna turned to try and help the farm hands working to herd their animals back to their respective pens. They doubted her at first but eventually she proved her skills by getting three different herds successfully separated for them.

As she turned to help another farmer someone put a hand on her shoulder. Anna turned and blinked at the sight of Captain Bates. He held his hands up and then pointed about them. "Could they use some help?"

"Do you know anything about herding?"

"My grandfather had a farm in Scotland." John pointed to one of the hayrides. "I think we could use that to try and lure any of the escaped ones back."

"It's an idea." Anna pointed to the tractor. "Can you drive it?"

"We'll see how much I remember."

They climbed aboard and drove out of the village slowly enough to rattle through potholes in the rode. Anna held tightly to the seat and tapped John's shoulder to point him in the direction of a group of sheep. Their circles grew ever wider, dropping herders off at the different spots until only John and Anna remained with the owner of the tractor.

"Want me to take you back to the village?" He pointed to the sky. "It's getting dark and I could give you a lift."

"It'll be alright." Anna pointed toward the school. "Downton's just over that rise and it'll be faster to take the path here."

"Suit yourself miss." He helped her off the back and traded places with John as he leapt down. "Thank you for your help."

"It was our pleasure." John took his coat, hanging it over his arm and turning to Anna as they waited for the tractor to rumble away up the lane. "Not the reception I expected."

"We didn't expect you at all." Anna held her hands behind her back, guiding them to the path that would wend them to Downton. "What are you doing here? I thought you were sailing to South America."

"That's what I was ordered to say." John winced, "A deception I hope you'll forgive."

"You're serving your country and doing as the King commands."

"But still…" John shrugged, "I hoped that we'd be honest with one another. Or that we could be. You've been nothing but honest in your letters."

"You've still received them? Even with the incorrect addresses?" Anna paused, stopping on the path. "Did Emmaline know?"

"No one knew, that was the point." John cleared his throat. "I was in London for a series of tests and interviews because I'm in contention for an Admiralty."

"That's fantastic."

"It'll mean that my trip to South America'll be the last trip I need to take for quite some time."

"You'll be closer?"

John nodded, "I'd be in London and I could finally see Emmaline more."

"That's such a lovely thought." Anna started walking toward Downton again. "She'd love that. She loves the very bones of you."

"She cares for us almost as much."

"That's flattering but guaranteed to be a lie." Anna laughed, "Although she's been an absolutely blessing in my life."

"Then," John coughed and Anna turned to him again. "Might I ask something that could be a little… impertinent?"

"I'm not sure." Anna folded her arms, shivering slightly in the cooling air.

"Here." John wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, pulling her closer in the motion. "Better?"

"Much." Anna tipped her head up to look at him, "Your impertinent request wasn't going to be for a kiss was it?"

"Could it be?"

"I'd like that."

John put his hands on either side of Anna's face, cradling it between his hands and dipping down for their lips to touch. It started slowly but soon Anna's fingers clawed into John's shirt to pull herself closer when his tongue slipped along her lower lip. He made tentative motions to sweep inside her mouth and Anna immediately sucked him closer.

He broke the kiss after a moment, breathing deeply to stop himself kissing her again. "That's not what I intended but I wouldn't mind making it my impertinent suggestion in the future."

"Then what was your question?"

"I wanted to ask you to spend Christmas with us in Scotland."

"The Christmas holidays in Scotland?" Anna blinked, "Won't that be brutally cold?"

"It could be but I guess I'll have to pile the logs on the fire higher." John offered Anna his arm. "Perhaps you could think about it? It'd mean the world to Emmaline and my mother would enjoy the company."

"I think you're forgetting to include yourself in that grouping."

"I would've thought my perspective on the matter was rather clear." John covered her hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. "I find I'm more besotted with you the more I read your letters."

Anna worked herself in step with him. "I find your letters are the best things I receive as well." She frowned, "But I do have to ask you about something."

"What?"

Anna pulled them to a stop, just outside the shadow of the school. "Who's Captain Barrow to you?"

John frowned, "Another candidate for the position. What do you know about him?"

"He's a friend of the Headmistress and Ms. Baxter." Anna shrugged, "He was asking as to your whereabouts and I believe Ms. O'Brien knows that we're…"

"What?"

"More than just corresponding as friends."

"I do hope so." John tugged on his jacket to pull her closer. "I couldn't believe you'd kiss your other friends the way you kiss me."

"I'd like to kiss you again." Anna dragged the back of her fingers over his cheek. "Especially since it'll be Christmas before I see you again. That is, if you're actually going to South America on this trip."

"I am." John inched closer. "And I'll miss you terribly."

"Should I get Emmaline out here?"

"I'll see her tomorrow," John brushed a bit of her hair out of her face. "Tonight I'd just like to see you."

"I'd like that too." Anna went onto her tiptoes and met his lips again.

This time she had to pull away before her leg notched over his hip and she dragged him against the building to grind against him. John rested his forehead against hers, breathing in time with her. "Please say you'll come to Christmas with us."

"Even if it's brutally cold in Scotland?"

"I'll make you warm."

Anna shivered, removing John's jacket to hand back to him. "I'd love to."

John put his jacket back on, taking her hand to kiss it again. "Goodnight then, Miss Smith."

"Goodnight Captain Bates." Anna slipped her hand from his hold and walked back to the school.

She walked through the door and jumped when someone spoke from the shadows. "I thought you didn't know where the Captain was."

"I… What?" Anna squinted and then steeled as Ms. O'Brien appeared. "Good evening Ms. O'Brien."

"That's how you'd portray this school? Kissing in the darkness with a man who's possibly under investigation by the Navy?"

"I'm sure whatever is happening between Captain Bates and I is none of your business as it does nothing to defame the school." Anna frowned, "And were you watching me, Ms. O'Brien?"

"It was Mr. Green who told me about it." Ms. O'Brien sniffed. "He was very adamant that you're making a fool of us."

"Then he was wrong." Anna gathered herself. "As I've responsibilities elsewhere I'll say goodnight."

"Just watch your step Ms. Smith." Ms. O'Brien called after her. "I'll let nothing ruin this school."


	10. Crying at Christmas

Anna examined the plans and then passed them back to Mary. "I think it'll be brilliant."

"Good because we've not got much time to get this Christmas charity ball to work." Mary groaned, "It wish Rose hadn't decided to spend Christmas in New York with Atticus because then she could suffer for dreaming this up."

"It is for charity Mary."

"Charity or not, it's a damned nuisance trying to plan something like this around forty different schedules and at the veritable last minute." Mary made a note next to some details on the sheaves of paper between them. "Thank goodness for Captain Bates or we'd never have this completed in time."

"I guess military training helps get everyone into shape quickly."

"I hear he's been getting you into shape." Anna flicked her gaze up from her notes to catch the glimmer in Mary's eyes. "Something about snogging in the shadows I think it was."

"You'd know all about snogging in the shadows of Downton." Anna gave Mary a smug smile, "Are you mentioning it to provide pointers or because you know better places on this campus for me to seduce someone?"

"What one does before marriage is between them and their husband, thank you very much."

"It was between you and I for many a giggling conversation and more than a few conspiratorial reconnaissance missions to get in and out of this building without being caught by Mrs. Hughes."

"What times those were." Mary sighed and then shook herself, "But those times are passed and these are what we've got now."

"A Christmas ball with no Father Christmas."

"I told you, there's no one for the position. Our normal man is in America for the holidays and there's-"

"Mr. Carson would look a picture with a fake beard." Anna pleaded, pouting her face in an attempt to melt the expression on Mary's. "He's got the perfect voice and you know he loves children. They'll adore him."

"This is for adults."

"After the auction it is. The dancing doesn't even begin until eight-thirty and we both know the children are the reason the Ball makes any money." Anna persisted until Mary threw up her hands.

"Fine. I'll ask him to do it and prepare for the Father Christmas gift giving. It'll take from the money for the-"

"No," Anna held up a finger, her brow furrowing a moment in thought before smoothing. "Make it more exciting for the children and tell them they'll be giving Father Christmas the gifts this year. Older things they don't use, clothes for the missionary bin and the like. It'll help for the donations we're already committing to the orphanage and widow's home if we've other things to give them. Toys for Christmas and all that."

Mary pursed her lips, her tongue poking at the side of her cheek. "It'll take a bit more organizing that way."

"We'll make it a project for the girls. It'll be their contribution to the Ball and give them a bit more of the giving spirit."

Mary snorted, "I'm sure I know the exact girls who could use a bit more of the 'giving' spirit."

"I'm sure I don't know who you mean."

"Liar." Mary gave a chuckle, "You've made yourself two powerful enemies when you decided to teach lessons to Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting."

"Their parents weren't in a giving spirit when Ms. O'Brien told them the girls were suspended until after the holidays." Anna shook her head, gathering a few papers and grouping them together. "But they did aid in the beating of a boy and then release all the animals at the festival."

"It goes to show you how little people know about their community when all they see is a sheep running down the road and don't realize how expensive that animal is and what it represents." Mary held up a hand, "Five people could eat nine individual meals off one sheep."

"When did you become an expert on farming?"

Mary shrugged, "Matthew's set to inherit the estate and he's insisting that we take more of an interest in the land and its people. After the fiasco at the festival I learned a lot about cost of animals. And that's just when you sell them. I've not mentioned the man hours, the feed, the grazing land, the shearing, and-"

"I know what it means." Anna gathered another set of papers to tuck into a file of her own. "Don't forget, I grew up on a farm. Up at dawn to milk the cows."

"Explains why you were always up before the sun in school."

Anna shuddered, "Just once in my life I'd love to wake up naturally. Allow the sunlight streaming through my window to urge me awake."

"You'll have time over the holidays."

"If we even see the sun over the holidays." Anna paused, teething her lip, "Speaking of the holidays…"

"What?" Mary did not focus on Anna, collecting her papers from the piles before she even noticed Anna waited. "Is there something on your mind?"

"I need to ask you something, about policy for the school, because Ms. O'Brien's already sure I blackened the name of the school and destroyed my reputation so she'll refuse no matter what I ask her next."

"Didn't help she had to reprimand and punish two of the largest donors and biggest families in the county." Mary interlaced her fingers and settled her hands on the table. "What do you want to know?"

"What is the school board's official policy in regards to the forming of relationships between instructors and parents?"

"For a moment I worried you were about to say 'students'." Mary puffed her cheeks to exhale. "Any particular reason you're asking?"

"It may have something to do with snogging in shadows, if you will."

Mary's eyes narrowed while her eyebrows rose. "Might this have something to do with a desire for… the marital relations outside the bonds of matrimony."

"I don't deny that the physical attraction and desire for such action has expressed itself on my side but not been acted upon." Anna sat straighter, as if putting on the air of the unaffected. "My honor and virtue remain untainted."

"I've no room to speak for myself in that regard." Mary clacked her teeth together and shrugged, "At the end of the day we've not had a reason for any kind of policy in that regard. Most of the parents we deal with are married and the instructors here, on the whole, fit the same description."

"Then there's no precedent?"

"None."

"So if I told you that he invited me to spend the Christmas holidays with his family in Scotland then you'd have to say what, exactly?"

Mary put down her pen, sitting back in her chair to study Anna before sighing. "Officially I'll say to be careful. As your friend, do what you like."

"You're serious?"

"Anna," Mary dragged a hand over her face, "After everything I've done with my life I'm the last person to ask for advice about this."

"You're the only person I had to ask advice about this."

"Did Mrs. Hughes urge caution?"

"She would if I asked her." Anna cringed, "I've not got the nerve."

"Afraid she'll reprimand you?"

"Afraid she'll be disappointed in me."

Mary laughed out loud, wiping at her eyes. "Disappointed in you? Please, Anna Smith could never disappoint Mrs. Hughes. She adores the ground you walk on. Anything you do is almost scripture to her."

"That's not true."

"That's because you were never castigated in front of the altar of Saint Anna and forced to do penance because you weren't quite measuring up."

Anna winced, "That sounds horrible and I'm so sorry."

Mary waved her off, "It's in the past and holds no bearing over this conversation or anything in the future. Besides, it probably helped me actually grow up and realize I had responsibilities I needed to attend to."

"But still…"

"Anna, it's in the past." Mary shrugged a shoulder, "And the answer to your question is that as long as you don't make a mess of it, do as you want."

"Do you think I'll make a mess of it?"

"If you're doing it right?" Mary feigned a moment of musing before nodding emphatically, "Yes."

"You seem very sure."

"Relationships are messy. And that's before we've even begun to discuss the possibility of emotions." Mary gathered the remainder of her things, "But it's all worth it Anna."

"Is it?"

"Of course." Anna caught the little quirk of a smile at the corner of Mary's mouth. "At the very least because then you might be a bit twitterpatted and I can finally see Anna Smith, the human instead of Anna Smith the Saint."

"If you keep talking like that you'll give me a complex."

"It's honestly a genuine surprise to me that you've not got one already."

"I'm sure you've a home to get back to." Anna made a show of cleaning off the table to hustle Mary out the door. "We've still got much to do to plan this."

"Don't I know it." Mary winked at Anna, "I do hope you'll take a turn around the room with Captain Bates. It'll raise more than a few eyebrows."

"You're not worried about the eyebrows I'll raise."

"Neither is he when you'll be raising something else for him."

"Mary!"

"I just wonder if he uses the nautical terms to describe the difference between 'half-mast' and -full-mast'."

"Goodnight Mary." Anna pulled at the door, enduring Mary's snorting giggles into the darkness. She bumped her forehead against the door and only just pushed off to turn toward the stairs when someone came out of the shadows. Jumping slightly, Anna put a hand to her chest and tried to laugh away her nerves. "You startled me Mr. Green."

"I apologize." He stepped forward, his hands clasped behind his back. "You were quite focused on your conversation with Mrs. Crawley just now."

Anna paled slightly, her nervous laugh continuing into a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'm sure I should apologize for the… indiscreet suggestions she was making. They were neither ladylike, nor proper but I couldn't claim to know how Mrs. Crawley thinks of either of those things."

"Not very much, it would seem."

"She didn't know anyone was listening." Anna's smile faded, "Which might have me wondering what you were doing, skulking in the shadows."

"Waiting for you, as it happens."

"To what end, Mr. Green?"

"To ask for the pleasure of your company to the Christmas Ball."

Anna scraped her teeth together. "Then it's most unfortunate that I'll be politely declining your generous offer, again."

"Someone's already asked you?"

"I've been commissioned to aid in every part of the Ball, which leaves no time for grand entrances or even sweeping exits I'm afraid." Anna went for the stairs but Green stepped in her way. "Was something about my refusal unclear, Mr. Green?"

"Is it him?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Is it Captain Bates? Is that why you tell me 'no'?" Green scoffed, "You can't tell me you prefer that old cripple to me."

"He's not a cripple and he's not old." Anna straightened her back. "And I prefer a great many things to you, Mr. Green."

"After how kind I've been?"

"Kindness and generosity are common decency, not the precursors to future benefits." Anna chewed the inside of her cheek. "And if you've made the mistake of assuming that your kindness or misplaced affection demand an equivalent return of my own then you misjudge me, sir."

"I admire you, Anna," He took a step toward her but Anna retreated to maintain the distance. "I… I want to make something of myself because of you. Don't you understand how I feel about you?"

"I doubt you completely understand how you feel about me, Mr. Green."

"I love you, Anna."

She shook her head slowly, "No, I don't believe you do."

"How can you-"

"Because I very much doubt you know what love is." Anna swallowed, "What you feel for me, Mr. Green, is not love."

"What would you call it?"

"Possession, entitlement, and a few other words that make you think I owe you something but I don't owe you anything Mr. Green."

"I've seen how you treat me and I think-"

"That perhaps you mistook my politeness and kindness as something more than common decency and good manners."

"That's not what-"

"Mr. Green," Anna put up a hand. "You've forgotten that I know things about you that give me more than a few moments of pause."

Green paled slightly before a tinge of red marred his cheeks. "And what is it that you think you know, Ms. Smith?"

Anna ignored the bite to his question. "I've spoken with a few people at your last school and they had a great many things to say about you."

"Did they?"

"Yes, they did." Anna held his gaze, "Why did you leave your last school, Mr. Green? Because what you've told me in the past doesn't compare with what they told me in their letters."

"Are you one for rumors?"

Anna's mouth twerked slightly. "You've asked me that before."

"And you gave me an answer but there's something else to what you're saying right now that makes me think the answer you gave then wasn't genuine. So tell me," Green took a step closer and Anna forced herself to hold her ground. "Are you one for rumors, Ms. Smith?"

"I'm one for repeated facts and frightened whispers." Anna's jaw tightened, "Like the whispers you put in Ms. O'Brien's ears the night of the Autumn Festival."

"I only told her the truth."

"Whose truth?" Anna shook her head when Green's face contorted all the muscles for a moment. "Jealousy's not a good color on you, Mr. Green."

"I'm sure the Literature Instructor knows all about the green-eyed monster."

"I recognize him in you." Anna shook her head, "The longer I spend in your company, alone or otherwise Mr. Green, the more I come to realize that whatever lies you told to get here aren't the tethers you thought they'd be."

"And what do you think they are?"

"Candy floss." Anna snapped her fingers, "One twist in the wrong direction and you're nothing but melting sugar on the breeze."

"Is that a threat, Ms. Smith?"

"It's a warning." Anna moved around him, heading for the stairs. "While I appreciate your interest in me, however unwarranted and undesired, I'll have to politely ask you to leave me be. I'm not interested in you and I've no desire to reject you further."

"Because you've already made your choice?"

"I have." Anna dipped her head to him. "Goodnight Mr. Green."

For a moment she wondered, as she turned her back on him, if she should fear leaving him unwatched. Like a predator that should never see you run. But as she climbed the stairs toward her room, the panic lessened and Anna heaved a sigh of relief. Each step put her a pace farther away from Green and closer to the upcoming holidays.

And when the Christmas Charity Ball finally rolled around, Anna was counting the hours until she boarded the train with the Bates family for their Scottish excursion. Hours planning he finer details with Mary and hammering out specifics for those who generously volunteered time, talents, and means almost came to naught when a bout of flu and a hefty round of chest colds threatened to cancel the whole event entirely. But the Christmas miracles came in the form of the brave and the bold stepping forward to provide the gifts, the donations, and Mr. Carson's Father Christmas suit.

Anna stood behind the punch table, tugging her gloves up her arms for the fourth time before handling the ladle to help with another round of the quickly emptying cups. Mrs. Hughes, dazzling in a dark green dress to match the deep red of Mr. Carson's costume, fanned herself with a hand as she approached the table to take one of the glasses for herself. They grinned at one another before Mrs. Hughes emptied the glass and held it forward to Anna.

"Might I beg another?"

"Your cheeks are looking a dash rosier than they normally are." Anna smiled at her, topping the glass with an evening's education in progression. "Corralling the children to meet Father Christmas must've been an event in and of itself."

"It doesn't help that the windows and doors are all closed on account of the snowflakes gathering outside." Mrs. Hughes finished her second glass more slowly but still extended for a third. "It's too hot for my tartan in here."

Anna leaned forward slightly, squinting before she noticed the little squares of blue amongst the green. The effect of the carefully blended tartan into the dress added to the festivities before Anna recognized it was made of a thick wool. She wined and hurried to offer Mrs. Hughes a fourth glass. "It might make you run for the loo but at least you'd cool down a bit."

"I might actually risk a turn around the building." Mrs. Hughes shook off the fourth glass, "I don't want to join the line of women 'powdering their noses'."

"I'm sure not."

Mrs. Hughes made to move and then frowned, "Who is replacing you at this table tonight?"

"Given the rash of flu I don't know if we ever consulted the idea of a rota."

"Then give me ten minutes to chill myself in the cold like a nice bottle of champagne and then I'll take over here."

"Doesn't Father Christmas need help accepting the donations for the less fortunate?" Anna craned her neck to see over the smattering of dancing couples and those trying to gather their children to depart to see the vague stature of Mr. Carson in red. "I'm sure his sleigh'll be full tonight."

"It will. The children were very generous." Mrs. Hughes tapped the side of her nose. "I'm sure it was your idea."

"I only take credit for the notion, not the generosity."

"All the same, there'll be a few happier children at the orphanage after this." Mrs. Hughes sighed, "Now for my attempt to turn my fingers a bit blue."

Anna waved her off, fingers dragging over the tablecloth before she went to pull up her gloves again. As she did her eyes landed on John as he entered the room. Mrs. Bates held to his arm and Emmaline took the other, beaming when she saw Anna and giving her attempt at a surreptitious wave. Anna gave it right back before catching John's eye.

In his dress uniform, the double-breasted buttons catching the lights as his epaulettes dangled at his shoulders, he stood straighter. Always a man taller than her, Anna wondered if his head did not brush the ceiling when he stood ready to represent his King and country. No sword hung at his side but the black of his uniform reflected his eyes when they met hers.

He nodded his head in her direction and Anna was sure she flushed from her neck to the top of the dress that hung off her shoulders in a line only inches above her breasts. Breasts Mary insisted needed the aid of a proper corset to properly fill out the dress. The jeweled tone of the blue brought out Anna's eyes, Mary's voice had rung in her ears as she tightened Anna's corset and arranged the dress perfectly, and it had grown too short for Mary. They both knew the lie of it but when John's eyes raked over her from across the ballroom, a notable flare to his nostrils when he saw her in it, Anna swore she would pay Mary twice its worth.

John escorted his mother and daughter to the table as the orchestra took their positions and began to play the holiday carols to bid goodbye to the young families and welcome the older individuals hoping for a different kind of Ball. He dropped his mother's hand from one arm and his daughter's from the other to snap into a bow he gave over the table to Anna. She returned it with a curtsy before sweeping her hand over the glasses.

"Punch?"

"Please." Mrs. Bates almost moaned, practically snatching for a glass to guzzle. "It's hotter than Hell in here and I'm sweating like a sinner in church."

"I'm sure you're sharing a sensation with most of those in here." Anna confided, filling her glass again before handing one to Emmaline, noting the rosiness in the girl's cheeks as well. "They'll not risk opening a window due to the snow."

"It's barely swirling out there." Mrs. Bates prodded her son in the side and he barely turned his head in her direction, eyes still fixed on Anna. "Find someone to open a bloody window before we all suffocate on our own perfume."

"Yes ma'am." He patted his mother's hand and kissed Emmaline's cheek. "I won't be gone long."

"I wondered how he'd be gone at all." Mrs. Bates sniffed, sipping at her second glass as if her outburst of a few moments ago belonged to another woman. "The way he stared at you, Ms. Smith, I honestly doubted my son could do anything but plant roots here and grow."

"You flatter me, Mrs. Bates."

"Not as well as that dress, that's for sure." She nodded approvingly at Anna. "That blue suits you."

"My friend told me it matched my eyes."

"It looks like the oceans of the Caribbean." Emmaline sighed, "Gorgeous."

"Have you been to the Caribbean?" Anna handed her a glass of punch but Emmaline just stroked her palm along the bottom before dabbing discreetly at her neck with the condensation.

"No, but Papa's told me all about how the water looks there before promising me he'd take me one day."

"It would make for a lovely adventure."

"A better one than remaining trapped behind that table." Mrs. Bates surveyed the room, "Do you not have a replacement or have they paid you for the whole night of service handing us our drinks?"

"Flu made it a little more difficult for the girls to participate as some of them liked." Anna shrugged a shoulder, "And I'm afraid I didn't win any points with the families of the girls not lain up with illness after the escapades of the Autumn Festival. This is the punishment."

"Then allow me." Mrs. Bates removed the dark green wrap from around her green embroidered black dress, handing it over to Emmaline before shooing Anna from behind the table. "I may be old but I'm not useless yet."

"Mrs. Bates I couldn't ask this of you."

"If that school can ask the money that it does of my son then you can certainly ask me to pour punch for a few bedraggled dancers." She heaved a sigh as a blast of chill wind whipped through the room. "The Lord has His mercy and we're saved from utter destruction."

"You're so dramatic Grandmama." Emmaline shook her head, folding her grandmother's wrap over her arms before turning to Anna. "Papa told me you'll be coming to Scotland with us for Christmas."

"I am." Anna shivered and lowered her voice to whisper in Emmaline's ear. "I'm not sure how it'll look to the other students."

"I'll not tell anyone." Emmaline gripped Anna's hands with hers. "But I'm excited. It'll be far more enjoyable with you there."

"I'm flattered."

"I'd hoped you would be." Anna turned as John came to her side, holding out a hand. "The orchestra's decided on a waltz, if you'd feel so inclined."

"Since your mother's thrust me from my position and we've air to circulate the room I'm all out of excuses to refuse." Anna put her hand in his, "Thank you."

They joined the other dancers taking their places and Anna fell into position with John. His hand started at her shoulder blade before drifting lower to hold at her lower back and urge her a little closer to him. The speed of the breath she inhaled forced John to pause a moment but Anna shook her head.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Very." Anna's hand went to fit around his deltoid, keeping her elbow out at the perfect angle from his body. "I'm with you."

"I'll not lead you astray."

"I'm very sure you'll threaten to lead me away from everything, Captain." Anna smiled at him, "And I don't think I'd mind at all."

"I'll remember you said that." He rolled his shoulders back to stand taller as the dance started and led her around the floor.

Anna flowed like water, guided by John's sure steps and smooth footwork. Where others faltered or the winces of women and men betrayed trod toes, they continued as if nothing were amiss and they practiced a hundred times. There was even a moment when Anna risked closing her eyes to bask in the confident but gentle lead John took on the floor. A lead he never allowed to overcome him.

When the music stopped, Anna took a deep breath and almost giggled with the build up of tension in her body. "I might need to follow Mrs. Hughes's example and risk a moment in the cold."

"Are you warm?"

"Yes." Anna unconsciously rubbed her legs together. "But not in the way I think can be solved with another open window."

John swallowed so hard Anna feared his Adam's apple might bruise itself on his collar. "I'm sure I understand that kind of heat myself."

"Would you?"

"Yes." He leaned down to whisper in her ear as the orchestra cued for another song. "I think you forget that I've read your letters, Ms. Smith."

The heat from her face frightened her with how it must radiate over the room like a beacon to all other inhabitants. But John only took Anna into position again and led her into the next song as if he commented on no more than the weather. Anna almost stumbled, catching herself by tightening her grip on John's hand and arm, and found the words she needed to speak.

"Which letters, exactly?"

"I believe the one where you recounted the last kiss we shared by telling me how you barely avoided wrapping yourself like a vine to me was particularly emboldening." John flashed her a smile before flattening his face for the crowd. "I shouldn't have expected anything less than the most… vivid of descriptions when I started writing to an instructor of Literature."

"There you go again, flattering me." Anna tried to scoff but the compliment made her heart flutter. "I've noticed you took to being descriptive in your letters as well. Descriptive in a way I believe made you glad that your daughter has no idea what you write to me."

John's cough almost gave Anna a moment of satisfaction. But he played the game just as well as she did, if not better, and batted the innuendo back to her. "Do you read them at night, with only a candle, and bite your lip in the hopes that no one can hear you or read your thoughts?"

"I was grateful they couldn't read your letters." Anna forced herself to keep her face impassive. "Especially the most recent ones."

"They were salacious." John's lips twitched. "But I was honest in them."

"I've no doubt." Anna pulled them to a stop as the music ended and crooked her finger so John lowered his head. She put her lips to his ear and, steeling all of her courage in a single move, whispered to him. "I wouldn't mind a few minutes for that now, if you're so inclined."

John shivered and held his body away from her as he whispered back. "There's no place here where we would have the time, privacy, or the space for what I wish to do to you, Ms. Smith."

"Then we'll have to adjust our plans." Anna flicked her eyes about the room.

"Will we now?"

"Improvisation is an aphrodisiac." Anna allowed her hand to brush forward, catching a touch of what Mary had so lewdly referred to as 'full mast' just a few weeks ago. "If you're willing."

"I think you know I am." John straightened, "It would be best we not be seen."

"I've been over every inch of this place in preparation for this event, Captain." Anna jerked her head toward a door at the back of the room. "Follow me in two minutes but avoid the punch table."

"Wise." John bowed his head to her and Anna gave a curtsy before weaving through the crowd.

The door opened under the gentle pressure of her hand and Anna slipped into the dark space beyond. A dim bulb flickered in the corner as Anna ascended the spiral stairs toward the attic space of the dance hall. A catwalk allowed her access to a storage room muffled by old gymnasium mats and broken chairs used for assemblies and meetings. Somewhere far enough away they would not be disturbed but close enough to return without notice.

Only one problem remained, heat. Given the simple physics of it, Anna already fanned herself as the humidity beaded sweat on her skin. She dug through the room to find an old window and cracked it open to feel the generous sensation of cool air hitting her skin.

A deep breath took the chill into her lungs, almost leaving crystals in its wake before Anna exhaled. The sweat now cooled, leaving her to shiver for a moment, and Anna waited until the room no longer felt like a sauna. Sticking a piece of broken chair leg between the space to leave the window cracked, Anna turned back at the sound of a creaking board.

But her face fell when she saw Green standing there. His tuxedo was fine indeed and his hair caught the light with the shine of whatever cream he used to keep it to his head. Anna swallowed, crossing her arms over her chest as she addressed him.

"Mr. Green, what a surprise."

"Expecting someone else?"

"I'm sure if I were it'd be none of your business either way." Anna made to step around him but Green held his position in front of the door. "Are we really going to do this again?"

"Were you coming up here for someone else?"

"I'm not up here for you, Mr. Green."

He shook his head, "Were you going to spread one of those crusty mats on the floor and spread your legs for him here?"

Anna's jaw tightened. "Are you accusing me of something Mr. Green?"

"Were you coming up here to play his whore?" His hand reached into his pocket and Anna stiffened. But when he drew out the contents of his pocket she blanched. "Like you promised in your letters to him? Was this the night you offered him everything?"

"What are you doing with those?"

"I found them."

"How mangled did you leave my desk when you broke it for them?"

Green shrugged, shuffling them in his hand. "I'm sure you can get it repaired. It is just a desk, after all. At least it wasn't your maidenhead."

Anna grimaced, "Please don't use that word."

"Why? Doesn't it apply to you?"

"It's vulgar."

"More vulgar than," He cleared his throat, holding up a page, "Allowing him to kiss every inch of you before making you his?"

"That's none of your business."

"Or," Green selected another, "Hoping to hold him close while he granted you the greatest pleasure you could imagine having?"

"Give those back to me." Anna held out her hand for them. "Now."

"These?"

"Yes," Anna thrust her hand forward again, jerking at the elbow as if the trigger reaction might entice him to hand them over. "They're mine and I want them back before you ruin the words by saying them."

"You've already shamed yourself enough by writing them." Green extended his hand and Anna reached for the letters just as he snatched them away. It left her off balance and she caught sight of the letters falling to the ground as Green's arms wrapped around her. "Being as that's the case, I guess it won't matter now."

His weight collided into her and they stumbled when she tried to turn in his arms to avoid the hold. Anna's dress trapped her legs, pulling tight between them as Green's tangled with the fabric. Her knees hit the floor first and then her wrists. Slivers scratched into her skin and a sharp pain had her trying to examine the possible sprain but her chest hit the floor when Green's weight settled on her back.

She pushed back, trying to get one of her legs under her, but Green's arm hit her shoulders and her chin knocked against the wood floor. The shock of pain stunned her before another twist in her body forced her head to the wood. Her inner ear reeled and Anna blinked against pain as her orientation wavered before her eyes. The tilting to her vision forced her to close her eyes and clamp her mouth shut to stop the urge to vomit.

But the pain echoing and rebounding through her skull did not lessen the force on her back. Or the distant recognition of a tearing sound. Her legs, now dragging across the wood to catch and cut, pimpled in the cold breeze from the open window. A breeze that brought Anna back to reality.

With a great heave, she almost unsettled the weight. But the pressure on her sprained wrist and a cuffing blow to her temple blackened her vision. Her body tipped forward and she knocked her chin on the floor again. This time she completely blacked out.

Shivers brought her back to life and Anna winced as she moved. Knees dragging over the floor, skin cracking from dried blood clotted over a myriad of cuts and scrapes, Anna crawled forward on her good hand. Keeping her other arm to her chest, she slipped on something and fell onto her shoulder. The pain lanced through her body and Anna cried out.

"I kept my promise." She blinked, trying to focus as she noticed Green standing by the door, a palm flattening his hair before he straightened his tie. "You've got your letters back."

Anna sat up, her abdomen aching hollowly, and went to her knees. The tatters of her dress hung behind her like a slit cut far too high and she used her good hand to pull at the material. It slid in her grip and Anna pulled her hand away to see red over her skin. She tried to move but fell to her side again, tears leaking from her eyes as Green only slipped away out the door.

The cold blew through the room, forcing Anna to tighten her knees but the pain in her body cried to spread out and sink. She wanted to fall right through the floor and fade to nothingness. Distant sounds of music and laughter filtered through the floor but Anna heard none of it. Or, she heard all of it and yet could not reconcile the joy in it.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and she tried to sit up and cover herself but her body would not allow it. All she could do was lie there and try not to succumb to an overwhelming urge to vomit all over the floor. A voice sounded and Anna turned her head to see John entering the room.

Her tears fell more heavily then, giving over to sobs as he dropped next to her and immediately removed his jacket to cover her. His hands, so delicate and safe, made her flinch and he backed away. Anna could not bear to look at him and turned her head away, sobbing onto the floorboards.

Creaks over the wood and a snap signaled a shut to the window before John was back by her side. The rasp of paper on wood had Anna shifting to watch John collecting the letters into a pile and tucking them into a pocket. He then knelt next to her and held up his hands, as if in surrender.

"May I carry you out of here Anna?"

"Everyone'll see." She whimpered, curling into a ball but abandoning the position when it ached.

"No, they won't." He soothed and risked a touch to her shoulder. Anna flinched but calmed after a moment. "I'll be discreet."

Anna nodded and turned into his embrace. With one arm at the small of her back and another under her knees, he lifted her smoothly and pivoted to survey the room a final time. Satisfied by what he saw, John carried her down the spiral stairs.

The dim room led to a back exit that John utilized to take them out a back staircase. Anna contracted into him in the blistering of the unfettered cold and John held her closer to him. Even the crunch of snow under his feet did nothing to distract Anna as they crossed through the semi-darkness to a motor.

John whispered to a man and at the sound of a door opening, ducked into the rear. He positioned Anna carefully on the seat before taking the one next to her. His whispered instructions to the driver had them trundling off and away from the bright lights of the dance hall.

"Anna?" She did not respond but he continued. "I'm taking you to our hotel. The room next to mine is empty and I want to take you there. Is that alright?"

Anna only nodded, turning into him while holding her arm to her chest. John's fingers moved to her arm and Anna tried to shy away but he only waited. "I want to check if it's a break."

Extending her arm, John's fingers moved over it as delicately as he might an eggshell before removing his tie. He positioned Anna's arm back to her chest before trying the tie around her arm and neck to keep it in place. "It's just sprained."

"Oh." Was all Anna could manage to say.

"I'll have Doctor Clarkson come in the morning, to make sure, but it should heal up without any problems."

Anna did not respond again, only huddling deeper into John's jacket while he continued to speak. "I'll go back, after I've got you in your room, for your things. I'll get Emmaline and my mother and-"

"You can't tell them." Anna's eyes flew wide and she grasped at him. "No one can know. You can't tell anyone."

"Anna," He blinked at her, "Someone's got to know. Someone hurt you and-"

"No one can know." She pleaded, tears streaking down her face again to chill in the wind so she shivered all the more. "If anyone knows… It'll ruin my reputation. I'll be ruined John. I'll be shamed forever."

"But someone hurt you." John's jaw tightened, his fingers curling to fists in his lap but not raising to hold her or touch her. "Someone has to pay for what happened to you. Who did this to you?"

"If I tell you then you'll hunt them down and kill them."

"I'll be happy to send them straight to Hell."

"It'll ruin everything John." Anna used her good hand to clutch for his, grasping over his fingers until he finally took hold of her in return. "No one can know. No one."

He swallowed, the force of emotions flashing over his eyes before nodding. "I won't tell anyone."

Anna sagged against him and continued to sob.


	11. Snowing in Scotland

Anna pulled her sweater tighter around her torso and kept her forehead to the window as York swiftly dissolved into Durham. She jumped when someone took the seat next to her and before letting out a breath as Emmaline extended a cup of tea. "Not thank you."

"Not to risk the impoliteness but you're looking a bit peaky." Whatever little smile Anna managed only creased the lines on Emmaline's forehead. "Did you catch flu from everyone at the Christmas Ball? If you've got it then you've battled it for a week now and it you probably need more rest. If you need rest-"

"No, I don't need rest for the flu." Anna shook her head, the view out the window dizzying her now and forcing her to face Emmaline in the train carriage. "I need it for… I need it for something else."

"Was it something my father did?"

Anna fully registered Emmaline then. Her hand covered the girl's on the still-extended tea cup and made sure their eyes met before speaking again. "Absolutely not. Your father's been nothing but a gentleman to me."

"Because he won't come into your carriage. Keeps saying you need space and I thought it was because he was afraid you were ill but since you're not-" Emmaline paused for breath, the shine of tears on her lower lids threatening to fall. "I wanted us to have such a happy Christmas and now…"

"We will." Anna assured her, slipping the cup from her fingers. "I'll drink this and feel better in no time, you'll see."

The smile she attempted now was better and paused all but a few tears that Emmaline wiped from her cheeks before slipping her fingers under her spectacles to force the rest away. "I hope so. It'll be so wonderful. We're staying in the old farmhouse my great-grandparents built and my father renovated. It's an old manor house but it's got electricity and a few amenities. We've kept all the fireplaces and there are horses we can ride all over the estate."

"It sounds picturesque." Anna sipped at her tea, breathing a bit easier as the heat eased the tension in her chest and her hands wrapped the cup further. "Why don't you spend more time there?"

"Grandmama lives in London and with Papa traveling on his ship there's no reason for me to be so far away." Emmaline shrugged, "And my mother always hated Scotland. She preferred Ireland, where her relatives were from."

"Have you been there?"

"A few times. It's beautiful but doesn't feel as…" Emmaline paused, as if searching for the right adjective to describe a sensation that defied the scope of language to adequately encapsulate. As if a word would cheapen the sensation. "Wild. It's just as magical, I think the fairies of Ireland and Scotland are just as pervasive, but there's a ruggedness to Scotland that Ireland's lost a bit."

"Don't tell an Irishman that." Anna took another sip of her tea and glanced over the edge of the cup as someone knocked on the door to the carriage.

John entered and nodded at Emmaline. "Your grandmother doesn't want to risk the dining car alone and asked that you'd go with her."

Anna noted how John did not move from his position at the door, as if conscious of the possible invasion of her space by even entering the carriage, but quickly distracted herself with Emmaline's sigh. "She wants a dessert."

"What?" Anna gave a little laugh and finished her tea as Emmaline offered to take the cup. "Why does she need your help with her dessert?"

"She thinks dessert is an indulgence and one should never indulge alone. Makes them appear the glutton to complete strangers." Emmaline shrugged, "But she spares no expense on them."

"In that case." Anna adjusted her sweater, keeping it about her as if to ward off the chill settled deep in her chest. "Find something decadently chocolate for me?"

"We'll manage it." Emmaline grinned at her before going to the door. She and John exchanged kisses on the cheek before he pulled the door to slide open for her.

When it closed, he pointed to the seat across from Anna. "May I?"

"Please." Anna pulled her knees closer to the edge of the seat, her skirt swishing against the material of the seat as John took the place opposite her. "Otherwise I'll continue to give Emmaline the impression you've done me some sort of disservice and she'll scold you."

"She's always been a creature of great empathy." John rubbed his palms along the legs of his trousers. "She senses things about people in a way I'll never fully comprehend."

"She was mentioning fairies earlier."

John gave a chuckle, "When she was young, Vera and I took her to Ireland and she ran away in the middle of the night to chase fairies. We were out looking for her, up to our knees in mud, and she came dancing across this field chattering about having found a fairy nest." John mimed the next part of his story. "Covered head to toe in mud and brush and twigs but her face just shone. As if she believed she was Fae herself and found her people in the moors of Ireland."

"Maybe she did." Anna teethed her lip, "It might be why I think she suspects something happened at the Christmas Ball. Something involving you and I."

"She's always been perceptive."

"It might also be the way I've treated you." Anna took a small breath, "I never properly thanked you, for what you did that night."

John shook his head, "Don't thank me, please."

"Why not?"

"Because…" He stopped, exhaling sharply as if coming up short on a thought. His jaw tensed and a muscle twitched in his cheek before he spoke. "If I'd been there, when you asked me to, it wouldn't have happened."

"You don't know that."

"I know whatever coward violated you in that attic would've shit himself if he'd confronted me." John closed his eyes, holding up his hands as if in surrender. "I apologize, that was rather crass of me."

"I don't mind." Anna sighed, a small smile tweaking the corners of her mouth. "There's an element of coarseness to it that reminds me of the farm where I grew up. The farmhands that would use all the words I wasn't supposed to even know when they thought I couldn't hear them."

"Reminds you of home?"

"Reminds me that people can be honest with their feelings." Anna pulled the cuffs of her sweater over her wrists, digging her fingers into the weave to hold it in place. "That maybe I can be honest with my feelings."

"I want to kill that man, Anna." John's voice was so calm, so quiet, Anna could not quite reconcile the emotion with the statement. "Tell me who he is and I'll rid the world of him. It won't take long and I won't even take pleasure in his suffering. He'll just be gone."

Anna studied John's face and then nodded, "I suspect you would John and that…" She took a deep breath, "That means more to me than I think it should. Than I should probably say."

"Then please," He reached for her hand, stopping short and waiting until she extended it to him. His thumb caressed over her fingers as he looked into her eyes. Anna recognized the same tears there threatened from Emmaline earlier. "Let me help. Let me do something to end your pain."

"And what of your daughter's pain when they hang you for murder?" Anna gripped his hand, stopping the progress of his thumb for a moment. "Or your mother when she tried to hold her head high and walk down the streets of London while people whisper behind her back? Or me, when it comes to light why you did it and I lose my job and my reputation? What then?"

John nodded, "You're right. I just…" His fingers slipped from hers to clench in the air before settling back in his lap. "I feel helpless. Like there was something I could've done. Something I should've done to help you. To stop this from happening to… To be there for you."

Anna flicked her eyes to the window again, shifting her jaw before speaking. "Would it make you feel better if there were something you could do?" She turned back to him, "Is that something you need, as a military man, to feel useful?"

"I've always been the kind who, when pointed in a direction, could get the job done." John gave a sad smile. "But there's nothing to be done, is there?"

"You've settled on the heart of the matter." Anna's chest caved, "If I were crueler, and perhaps a bit more myself, I might dare to ask you what you must think I feel about all of this."

"What?"

"If you, as the unintended bystander, feel helpless in the face of such violence, how do you think I feel?"

"Anna I-"

"Don't think I'm saying this because I feel the victim or because I want to play the victim in this drama."

"What you endured makes-"

"I was _his_ victim," She clarified, stopping him finishing a statement she did not want to hear him complete. " _His_ victim, not _a_ victim."

"I can't be a victim." Anna closed her eyes, a sick shudder rolling through her at the merest thought of viewing any kind of pity in his eyes. "I don't… I don't want you to ever think that of me."

"How could I think that of you?"

"Then you don't pity me?" Anna turned her gaze to him and John smiled, taking her hand again. "Even after what you saw?"

His smile had a note of sadness to it as he kissed her hand with the gentlest of lips. "I think… After what I saw… after all the things I've seen, the last thing I could do is pity you."

Anna almost sighed in relief into her seat, holding John's hand between them. "Thank you. I… I just…"

"You thought I'd think less of you?"

"You've seen me at what I can, unequivocally say, was my lowest point." Anna held up her wrist, a soft cast keeping it steady to heal. "You watched Doctor Clarkson set my wrist, pull slivers from my body, and examine me. You… you found me like that and… I can't say what you must've thought-"

"Only that I wished I'd been there ten minutes sooner." Anna noted the twitch in John's cheek again but he kept his breathing steady. "Then the bastard who laid a hand on you would've been through that tiny window, whether his shoulders fit through it originally or not."

"Part of me wishes I could see that one day." Anna let her thumb run over John's hand, stroking the skin there. "But at least it's all out in the open."

"At least between us."

"I think we're the only two people who need know." Anna focused on their hands as she continued. "It'll mean I don't have to hide any shame from you because you've already found it out."

"Why are you talking about shame?"

Anna sniffed, blinking at her tears to face John. "He found our letters and accused me of already shaming myself with you. Said that if that were the case then he need not worry… He…" Anna bit into her cheeks to stop the rise of some unquantifiable emotion in her chest. "He spoiled me… For you, for anyone."

"You," John's hand left hers and they both framed her face. Anna ever-so-slightly flinched before settling into his gentle touch. "Are not spoiled. You could never be spoiled."

"But I'm-"

"Hurt but not ruined." John's eyes searched over her face. "You're holier and higher to me because of the suffering you've been put through. And if, on the chance that you don't want to continue what I hope is our courtship, then whomever has the honor of marrying you will think the same. They'll love you more at the moment they know what you've endured and overcome than they did when they met you."

"Truly?"

"Of course." John sighed, the callouses of his thumbs running along her skin and raising the hair on her neck at the simplicity of the intimacy in the motion. "Any man would be lucky to have a woman brave enough to hold her head high and return to her occupation after what happened."

"I'm not so sure." Anna leaned into John's hold a moment before sighing back into her seat so he could drop his hands.

John held his silence a moment before speaking, "How did Mr. Green get into your room to steal the letters?" Anna's eyes widened and she tried to maintain a hold on her reaction but John's slow nod confirmed he caught her moment of panic. "I thought so."

"How'd-"

"The letters." John's lips twerked into that sad smile again. "He's the only person I know who, thus far, has shown Emmaline or myself any animosity. Further, he somehow knew about you and the letters. Putting that together leaves someone in your immediate vicinity. Given the honor and nature of the other men who work at Downton, Mr. Green was the only one with any kind of motive."

"How do you even know about Mr. Green?"

"Emmaline mentioned him in a few of her letters. Said he gave her a bad feeling and told me some of the rumors I then investigated regarding his former employment situation." John sighed, "He's… He's got a thing for small, blonde women that appear easily subdued."

Anna shuddered her laugh, "I didn't prove him wrong."

"Your injuries say otherwise."

"I still couldn't save myself or stop him." Anna's lip quivered and she tried to stop the wobble in her jaw. "I couldn't… I didn't…"

"Don't blame yourself or, in any way, think you weren't doing all you could to escape the hold of that snake." John's voice cut through the moment of self-recrimination. "None of it was your fault."

"I should've been stronger."

"You're as strong as anyone I've ever met because you're here, you're breathing, and you're going to get through this." John took her hands again, his grip firm and almost pleading but not threatening. "I'm here to help you. If you want my help, that is. I don't want to assume-"

"Please." Anna gripped his hands back, their eyes meeting. "I want your help."

John did not respond. Not with words, anyway. He shifted slightly before fully committing to leaving his seat across from her. Taking the seat at her side had Anna flinching for a moment but she relaxed as John moved his arm around her, urging her to his side. She rested her head against his chest and the softest of kisses pressed to her hair.

"I'm here for you Anna. For whatever you need."

The hold of his hand on her arm and the delicate stroke of his thumb over the back of her hand where he held it on his lap, eased Anna into his embrace. Their breathing synchronized and eventually she closed her eyes. For the first time in the days since it happened, she finally slept.

Her eyes did not open until the whisper of John's voice sounded in her ear. "We've arrived Anna."

She pushed herself up, blinking to try and clear the sleep from her eyes, but John only held her hand. "What?"

"Emmaline's coming back to the carriage. She'll take you to our motor and I'll see to my mother and the bags."

"You don't have to-"

"You're my guest." John still held her hand, "And you need rest."

"I just slept for… longer than I've slept in a week."

"And you'll get a chance for more sleep on the drive." John winced, "It's a bit of a trip, even from the station."

"Are you driving the whole way?"

"Since my mother can't, Emmaline's a bit young, and you won't be…"

"How far?"

"A few hours." He put a hand over hers, "It'll be alright."

"I wasn't worried about me."

"I slept when you did." John stood as Emmaline entered the carriage, "Your grandmother outside already?"

"And arguing with the luggage man."

"Please help Ms. Smith to our motor and I'll join you both presently."

"Of course." Emmaline extended her hand to Anna before withdrawing to grab Anna's coat instead. "You'll freeze outside otherwise."

"We wouldn't want to start the holidays like that." Anna hurried into her coat, narrowly avoiding a family hurrying past them in the corridor. "Does your father always do it like this?"

"When we're in Scotland. Last Christmas it was just the three of us in London. And when my mother was alive…" Emmaline bit her lip, "She insisted on Ireland for some Christmases, made a fuss when we came to Scotland, and sniped at my grandmother in London so they weren't my favorite Christmases."

"Emmaline," Anna put a hand on her arm, "I don't know if I should ask this but… About your mother…"

"She loved me as she could and that, for me, is enough to remember her by." Emmaline smiled and nodded toward the door. "This way."

They left the train and Anna maneuvered in Emmaline's wake over the platform to where a car waited for them. A man already worked to pull the covers over the side and secure the interior from the wet, heavy flakes already falling from the sky. He snapped to attention when he saw Emmaline and spoke quickly in a language Anna could not follow. Emmaline responded in a more halting but intelligible version of the same language before reaching into her handbag for something.

Before she could, John arrived and handed the requisite notes to the man before conversing in a natural version of the language the man spoke. The man brightened, taking his beret from his hair to show off a shock of red hair, before replacing it to speak just as quickly back. The conversation soon finished and John shook the man's hand before turning back to Anna and Emmaline.

"Mr. Frazer says that we're all set to go and he's willing to drive us as far as Lallybroch before we continue on to Tero Fell on our own."

"Where's Lallybroch?"

"North of here." John addressed the man again, his hand motioning behind him to Anna, Emmaline, and Mrs. Bates.

Mr. Frazer bowed at the neck to all three of them before approaching. He stuck out a hand to Anna and she shook it, tentative for a moment until the man with an impressively cut jaw smiled at her. "It's alright miss. I won't hurt ye."

"You speak English?"

"Oh aye. Ever since your ancestors brought it with them we can't seem to get rid of it." His smile only widened and Anna laughed with him.

"Not that your accent has tried to tease it's way south."

"I heard in your voice you're a northerner." He leaned down, whispering loudly in her ear. "But you're not of the True North, are ye?"

"I don't think so now." Anna took her hand back. "I'm grateful for the chance to meet you."

"And I you." He turned to Mrs. Bates and his smile crooked before he reverted to the language he spoke earlier. She responded just as quickly, swatting his arm before embracing him to plant a kiss on his cheek. He gave her two before pulling back to address Emmaline.

"Your Gaelic's improved. You actually understood me this time."

"It's rusty."

"Stay a summer with us at Lallybroch and you'll speak it like we do." He kissed both her cheeks in the French style before pivoting to face John again. "I'm all greeted and ready to drive you."

"Thank you Jamie." John opened the door and offered the space to Mrs. Bates first but she snorted and hooked her arm through Mr. Frazer's.

"I'll be sitting with my new beau, thank you."

"My wife wouldn't take too kindly to that."

"Neither would your children I imagine but we'll let it be our secret." She winked at him and Mr. Frazer helped her into the cab space with him as Emmaline and Anna climbed into the rear with John following them. "You three settled back there or do we need to get someone to help you?"

"No need to be snitty mother." John chided and bent over to grab for the large furred blankets on the floor to spread over the three laps in the back. "We'll be warm enough if you will be."

"I've Jamie to keep me warm."

Mr. Frazer returned to the car, nodding at John. "Your luggage is all loaded and we're ready to leave if you are."

"More than."

"Then we'll be off." Mr. Frazer climbed into the cab and started the car, guiding it out of the city and toward the roads leading into the dusk.

"How do you know Mr. Frazer?" Anna leaned over to John, raising her voice to be heard over the clunking of the engine.

"He served under me for a time." John gave a little smile, "Some of the men threatened to shave his head, because red hair's supposed to be bad luck, but he was one of the best sailors I ever had. Everyone wanted his hair after that."

"My wife was just glad our daughter got the hair."

"How many children do you have Mr. Frazer?"

"Please, call me Jamie miss." He risked a look over his shoulder to smile at her. "I almost feel as if I know you and I don't want us to be formal."

"Then, Jamie, how many children do you have?"

"Four One daughter, from my first marriage, a son, and two adopted daughters from my second marriage."

"Then you're on wife number two?"

"Not exactly." Anna noted the quirk to his jaw. "It's a complicated story but my first wife was thought dead for a few years and so I remarried in her absence. Then, when she returned with our daughter, I had to annul my second marriage but she passed before I could so now I've got four children."

"Must be a busy household."

"My sister and her family live with us and she's got six children so it's a madhouse more days than it's an actual house."

"He's conveniently forgotten to mention his adopted son in that count." Emmaline added and Anna raised an eyebrow at the blush on her cheeks. "He was a French orphan but Mr. Frazer took him in."

"Is he attractive?" Anna prodded and Emmaline's face went as scarlet as Mr. Carson's Father Christmas suit.

Anna shivered at the thought, her mind jumping through the events of the Christmas Ball as it flashed before her eyes. John frowned and Anna made a show of pulling the blanket over her legs and arranging it. He put a hand over hers and bent to her ear.

"Are you alright?"

"Just a memory." Anna tried to shake the sensation away. "Those can't hurt you but it did take me by surprise."

His hand stayed on hers as the car rumbled its way over the loosely paved roads and deeper into the hills and moors of Scotland. Anna craned her head to watch the lush green and deep brown lose their power as snow fell more thickly. So thick that the headlights of the car only cut a few hundred feet ahead of them.

But just when Anna wondered if they should not risk finding a small village to pull off and wait out the impending blizzard, the gray clouds above them broke to dazzle the ground with the orange glow of sunset. Her breath fogged in front of her as she watched the valley below them explode with color in the dying rays of the day with the snow catching and reflecting the light over a loch.

Just as John predicted, however, Anna dozed after awhile. Her head made its comfortable way onto John's shoulder and when a particularly rough bounce jostled her awake, she noticed Emmaline had slumped sideways onto her arm. Anna adjusted, careful not to wake the girl, and leaned back into John. His arm wrapped over both of them and Anna snuggled into his side. The comforting mutter of the Gaelic language exchanging back and forth between Mrs. Bates and Mr. Frazer lulled her right back to sleep.

This sleep ended when the car pulled into a drive. Anna blinked in the early night, noting the manor of solid stone rising above them, and the comforting blink of lights inside it. Mr. Frazer parked the car and John shifted positions to take the driver seat as the other man descended. They shook hands and John had them out of the drive just as the front door opened and Anna watched Mr. Frazer take a redheaded girl into his arms.

"Lallybroch then?" Anna gestured to it and John nodded before focusing on the road again. "It's gorgeous."

"And old. It's been in his family for at least six generations."

"How long has…" Anna frowned, "What did you call it?"

"Tero Fell."

"Interesting name."

"The ancestor who named it supposed was mad and heard the name from the fairies he displaced to build it." John shrugged, "Odd bunch, my ancestors."

"Don't speak ill of the dead." Mrs. Bates gruffed, "They're watching us you know. Every moment, they're watching."

"Then it's been in your family for a long time?"

"It's passed down through a few different generations in more of a zigzag than a straight line but it's been here and there for a long time." John sighed, "The Keiths had it for… five generations, I think. I don't know who they got it from before that but it's bumped and bruised its way to me now."

"And what'll you do with it?"

"Not sure. For now we rent it to a family who agrees to give it to us for the six weeks of Christmas holidays but otherwise…"

"Johnny wants to sell it." Mrs. Bates clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Thinks it'll be good to give it over to people who'll actually live in it."

"We could rent it out permanently. Be landlords."

"We're already landlords, that's what deeds mean."

"My mother wants to keep it because she's sentimental but she lives over five hundred miles away and it's a ridiculous notion for her to hold onto to something like this when it'd be just her living in it."

"If your next argument is that you'd never visit me then I'll remind you how little you already visit me."

Anna smiled to herself, taking Emmaline's dropping head better into the crook between her shoulder and chest. "Why not sell it?"

"Only after he sells that shake in Dublin."

"You own property in Dublin?"

"No." John scowled at his mother. "Emmaline owns it, legally. It was her mother's and when Vera died she left it to Emmaline."

"You're the executor of Emmaline's estate until she's of age."

"And as her executor I'll let her decide what she'll do with her property." John shrugged, "She might want it."

"It's a barn, John."

"No, it's a manor house, like this one, in need of some repair."

"It needs to be stripped to its frames and completely rebuilt." Mrs. Bates huffed, " _Needs some repair_. That's generous, even for you."

"I'm a generous man."

"Don't we all know it."

They drove in silence for the remainder of the drive, arriving at a comfortable house next to a large loch by the time night turned a dark blue. Anna gently shook Emmaline and the girl grumbled slightly before sitting up. She rubbed at her eyes under her glasses and arranged them better on her face before smiling.

"We're here."

Lights in the house glowed dimly out at them and a shaft of light hit them when the door opened and two people hurried out.

"Captain we thought you were arriving much later." The woman, shorter than Anna with a swath of white hair cut short about her ears like a pixie. "We've only laid a simple supper for Kincade and I."

"It's not a problem M." John climbed out of the car, helping his mother and then Emmaline before offering his hand to Anna. "Mr. Frazer helped us make good time. Better than we planned really."

"He always likes to drive fast."

"Yes he does." John pointed to the luggage on the back of the car. "I hope Young Ian's not gone home for the night."

"He's still about. I'll get him and Jimmy to help." M turned to the rest of them. "You're doubtless frozen to the bone and hungry. I'll get you all sorted presently."

"You're a Godsend M." Mrs. Bates took M's hand and the two of them chattered away as Emmaline looped her arm through Anna's so they could follow.

Anna entered the house and let out a breath at the entryway. Dark wood surrounded them, white painted walls with tastefully colored paintings that balanced between the drastic shades of the paneling and the walls. A square staircase cut against the far wall to ascend to a second level Anna only glimpsed for a moment as they moved into the dining room.

The long table held chairs enough for almost a dozen people and windows that looked out on the snowy grounds and the lake reflecting the moon. A tight corner took them past a lounge with no fewer than three gun safes and marks on the walls from where Anna would hazard old hunting trophies had mounted. Now the paintings were all of oceans and ships. One was an old ship being towed out to sea, another of a sea battle, and the last of a ship braving a storm.

"That's where Papa likes to think when he's here."

"Does he know how to use all those guns?"

"I should hope so." Anna almost jumped as an old man appeared from a door leading to a kitchen and a smaller table in a cozier corner next to a crackling fire in a darkened hearth. "I taught him how to use every one of them."

"Kincade." Mrs. Bates moved forward, embracing the man and kissing at his cheek. "Still making a nuisance of yourself up here?"

"I'm the gamekeeper and groundskeeper."

"Not with those knees, surely?"

"You'd be amazed what this old body can still do."

Emmaline's eyes went wide and her face reddened as Mrs. Bates only batted her eyelashes at the man. "Aren't we daring?"

"It's all I've got to offer since the larder wasn't to be stocked until tomorrow." He peeked around her to extend a hand to Anna. "Albert Kincade, gamekeeper."

"So you said." Anna returned the shake. "A lot of ground to cover for you?"

"Know it like the back of my hand." He winked and turned to Emmaline. "It's good to see you, Miss Emmaline. Grown up nice and tall, like your father. Still studying hard then?"

"Yes." Emmaline regained her voice as John entered the room.

"Master Bates!" Kincade embraced John and the two men held firmly to one another a moment before breaking apart. "I hope the drive here wasn't too painful."

"We managed." John sighed and turned to the table, "Mind if we all share you meal together before we turn in? I can't be the only one who's famished here."

"The table and its settings are yours, as always." Kincade swept a hand to the side, offering them all chairs around the table. "The girls are probably already getting the bedrooms ready."

"I could fall asleep at this table." Mrs. Bates took the seat between Kincade and M. "But I'm intrigued as to what you cobbled together for us here."

"It's not much."

"But it's enough." John finished before M could continue. "And it's more than we were expecting."

"Should we be expecting you for the whole of the holidays?" M reached behind her to extract a few more plates and passed the utensils around the table.

"That's the plan." Mrs. Bates accepted a glass of sherry from Kincade. "Christmas, New Years, and almost all the way to Valentine's Day."

"They've given Miss Emmaline so much time away from her studies?" Kincade tsked with disapproval. "No one should stop our young miss from getting her education."

"No one's stopping her." Mrs. Bates shook her head at him. "It's how the instructors and the headmistress chose to delegate the days."

"But so long away."

"She's got her professor here with her." Mrs. Bates pointed to Anna, who looked up with food in the side of her mouth. "If she's getting forgetful then Ms. Smith'll put her through her paces."

Anna swallowed hard, an ache in her throat. "I'm sure Emmaline's entitled to her holiday."

"As Ms. Smith is to hers." John scowled at his mother. "She's here as our guest, not a private tutor."

"Not for lack of you trying." Mrs. Bates turned to M. "A few months ago-"

"I'm sorry." John whispered to Anna, "You'll be under a bit more scrutiny than I planned."

"It's alright." Anna risked touching the back of his hand with the back of hers. "I'm just glad to be here."

"It's a lovely place to be." John let a small smile slip over his lips. "And, if I didn't say so before, it's lovely to have you here."

"If you two are done whispering to one another I've just gotten to the part about our first public dinner."


	12. The Loves of Our Lives

Anna turned a page in the book, glancing up to smile at John as he took the seat next to hers and extended a mug. "Thought you might want some tea."

"Thank you." Anna set the book to the side, blowing on the steaming liquid before risking a sip. "It's glorious."

"M makes it and refuses to give us the recipe." John settled into his chair as Anna arranged herself in the window seat. "Says it's the only reason we come here and if she gives it up then we'll never come back."

"I don't know how you stay away." Anna waved her hand toward the window, "It's wonderful here."

"It is." He chewed the inside of his cheek. "It's one of my mother's favorite places to be. At any time of the year."

"I can see why."

"Unfortunately my mother has a house in London and she's too arthritic to live up here with only Kincade and M for company." John snorted, "I can imagine the three of them bickering and growing old here together."

"In case it escaped your notice," Anna lowered her voice, "They're already growing old here together."

"Don't tell them that." John let his eyes wander out the window. "I always wanted to retire up here."

"When?"

John shrugged, "If I get the admiralcy I'll need to serve another ten years or so. It's only for a Rear Admiral, lower half, but I always wanted to be at least a Vice Admiral. It seemed like the highest I could go since I never wanted to be Fleet Admiral. I've no use for a whole fleet at my command and then they'd just put me in offices in London."

"You'd be near your mother."

"I hate London. Always have."

Anna gave a small smile, pulling her legs up toward her chest. "I've never really liked London much either. I grew up on a farm, worked in Halifax, came back to Downton to teach… Big cities aren't for me."

"What about the desolate moors of Scotland?"

She shrugged, turning to him, "Are you proposing something?"

"If you wanted to stay here…" John's voice was low but serious. "After what happened I could imagine not wanting to go back."

"I have to fulfill the end of my contract."

"And then?"

Anna shrugged, "Part of me wanted to stay at Downton until I was as weathered and hardy as Mrs. Hughes but you're right. After everything that's happened I don't… I don't know if I belong there anymore. It doesn't feel the same anymore and with the sense of safety gone…" She pulled at her fingers, focusing on them in her lap instead of John. "Probably best to find someplace new."

"Where would you go?"

"Maybe back to Halifax. They offered me a contract before I came to Downton and, given the impression the head of the school board there gave me, they'll hold a spot for me." Anna managed a small smile as she finished playing with her fingers, "I think in her heart of hearts, although Ms. Stacey would _never_ say this to my face, she hoped I'd hate coming back to Downton. Hoped I'd realize that I belonged in Nova Scotia and not back in England."

"Did you?"

Anna shook her head, "No. It was lovely and the girls were good girls but… I never felt a part of it all."

"Because of your accent?"

"That was the easiest thing to use but it was more the feeling of it." Anna used her hands, as if gesticulation could help her embody her thought better. "Here everything is old. It feels old and is old and the soul of the place is old. There… It's a different kind of old. An old we don't understand because we were afraid of it and built over it. It's a forced new feeling of Manifest Destiny and while many people believe it, I think they live it in their bones, it feels false."

"What about here?" Anna blinked and John motioned around him to the library where the fire cracked and spit in the heart while frost threatened at the windows. "In Scotland, at Tero Fell."

"And what would I do here?"

"You could volunteer to care for three aging, cantankerous individuals who'll refuse your help until they pop a hip out of place." John grinned and they both laughed for a moment before he scooted his chair closer to her. "But I am serious Anna. This place could be yours."

"And what about your retirement plans?"

John shrugged, "There's more than enough room in this house for you and I to live as comfortable neighbors, if nothing else."

Anna ran her tongue against the back of her lower teeth, speaking with her voice low. "Would you want there to be something else?"

His eyes held hers, "At this point, that would be entirely up to you."

"At the Ball I…" Anna went back to her fingers a moment before sighing and letting them drop into her lap as she head craned around as if to search for the words she wanted in the rafters. "I wrote you those letters and I meant every word. I meant every salacious, inappropriate, suggestive, and daring thing I penned and intimated. I implied my desire with every innuendo and, when I whispered in your ear at the Ball, I intended for those things to come true in that attic."

"But now?"

"I'm in conflict." Anna opened her hand to him. "I look at you and I see the man who kissed me outside Downton with so much passion that I wanted to take you right there in the dark against a building. No finesse, no patience, and certainly no prudence. I wanted you then and I… For everything that's happened I still want you now. I think I always will."

"Something's holding you back."

Anna nodded, "The thought of… Of what Mr. Green took from me makes me wonder a few things that I don't believe there are answers for."

"Such as?"

"You told me, on the train, that I wasn't spoiled." Anna put up a hand to stop whatever argument John's open mouth would inevitably make. "And I believe you."

"You do?"

"Of course I do." Anna frowned, "Why would you doubt that?"

"Because your tone suggests otherwise."

"It would, wouldn't it?" Anna let her legs hang off the window seat, her feet kicking slightly to send her skirt rustling against her skin. "And in a way it does, I think. But not how you fear."

"What do I fear?" John put his elbow on the chair so he could prop his chin in his palm. "What thoughts do you see troubling me behind my eyes?"

Anna gave a little snorting laugh. "That I think I'm spoiled."

"Do you?"

"It's hard to say." Anna flexed her jaw, shifting it as if to stretch it. "I feel different. I feel broken and battered. Bent and bruised but… I just feel different. For all the words in the English language I know I can't find a better word than that one and it's woefully inadequate."

"I'm sure a butterfly feels different when it breaks from its cocoon."

Anna's eyebrows rose, "I do hope Captain that you're-"

"No, never." He took her hands and Anna sighed a bit when she watched her fingers settle in his hold without flinching. The stroke of his fingers, always delicate despite the evidence of the callouses there, calmed her further until he looked in her eyes. "But you feel different because you are different. The Anna you were before… she's… Well she's dead."

"Not one for delicate phrases, are you?"

John gave his own laugh, his eyebrows going up as the smile tickled toward his eyes. "No, I'm not. We don't have time for them in the Navy."

"And what do you have time for?"

"Direct, simple instruction." John stilled his fingers against her skin. "I can't say that I can't imagine how you feel."

"I don't want to insult you but I doubt you do."

John swallowed, taking a breath and lowering his eyes for the first time in their conversation. "My father was… Was not a good man. He would lose his temper very easily and he had a number of degenerate friends who would sometimes stay in our home in Belfast."

Anna took her turn to hold tighter to John's hand as he shivered. "I've never told Emmaline this because I don't want her to know the kind of man her grandfather was and… And because there's a lot of shame in it for me." He settled his other hand over hers and, for a moment, Anna wondered if they would continue to writhe their hands over one another's to seek a dominant position of comfort. "He worked the shipyards and there were plenty of places along the docks to find spirits and liquor and women of a particular occupation. The kind of activities only riled by men angry at the world or tired after a day of work."

He swallowed to speak again, his voice cracking slightly as he did. "He'd beat my mother. Usually with his hands or fists but me… Me he took a belt to. And when it seemed the leather strap wasn't enough to quiet my arguments about his behavior he used the metal end." John removed one of his hands to point to his back. "There are still scars there, from when it cut into me, but after awhile you lose feeling in the skin when it suffers enough nerve damage."

"Oh John," Anna held his hand tighter and John returned his hand to hers.

"It's in the past but that's not the end of it."

"There's more?"

"I told you that my father had degenerate friends and one of them, taking advantage of my injured state…" John coughed, "I can't… I can't even say it."

"Did he…"

John nodded and Anna's hands slipped from his to cover her mouth. "My father didn't believe me. Or so I thought. He was arrested the next night for beating his friend to death with a ship hook and since he wouldn't say why they hung him for murder."

"And you…"

"My mother doesn't even know." John wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's funny, I never thought my father loved me, much less liked me, until he kept silent about that."

"But you've-"

"I wasn't lying when I said I understood." John coughed, "I've felt spoiled and ruined for a great portion of my life. And my first wife… She didn't much help me gain any kind of confidence to the contrary."

"I don't…" Anna tightened her fingers in the window seat cushion before holding to his hands again. "But you don't seem broken."

"I'm thirty years on from when it happened Anna." John removed one of his hands from hers to run the backs of his fingers over her cheek. "Time heals all wounds. It truly, truly does."

"When did you feel different?"

"I'm not sure a comparison of times will-"

"When?" Anna insisted and John sighed.

"I joined the Navy and, for a time, I was nervous about showing anyone anything about myself. I'd wake up early to bathe before everyone or stay late. But then, when I was too tired to remember to be careful to turn by back to the wall as I dressed, someone saw the scars." John's face lit slightly. "He showed me his, from a prostitute mother who took pleasure in putting out her cigarettes on his skin. Another man told us about an uncle who gave him an ugly scar from the broken end of a bottle. And there was still another man who told us about when his grandmother would shook her wooden cane in a bucket of water to make it more stiff when she used it to beat her grandchildren."

"That helped you?"

"We're not alone in our pain, Anna. None of us. We're all just bodies and souls carrying around the marks of life in whatever variation we have them." John sighed, his hand almost slipping from her cheek but Anna moved her hand to stop his. "Never think you're more broken than anyone else."

"What happened, to those other men?"

"One of them retired and married a lovely girl. They live in Liverpool now. Another died in an accident in India. And the third is still on his own ship as the chief Petty Officer."

"Were they happy?"

John's smile took a note of sadness before he shrugged. "I don't know."

"I'm…" Anna swallowed, taking his hand from her cheek to enfold in hers so she could stare at it instead of him. "I'm happy, with you."

"And that frightens you?"

"Terrifies me." Anna confessed, meeting John's eyes. "Terrifies me because I still want all those things I wrote to you in those letters but… I'm afraid that if the moment comes for me to have those with you that all I'll think about is…"

"Him." John nodded as Anna's eyes scrunched closed, tears dribbling onto her cheeks as the emotion of the conversation finally overtook her. "You're afraid that one touch from me might bring back that night."

"Yes."

His arms wrapped her and Anna let her tears soak the shoulder of his shirt as he maneuvered to share the window seat with her. Hands ran over her back, soothing and holding her close until the tears ebbed and Anna could sniff the last of them away. She moved to see him and John's thumbs wiped the last vestiges of moisture from her cheeks before Anna could bring her hands up to do it.

"They might. We'll have to be careful about it but…" John's jaw tightened a moment before he spoke again. "But if you were willing then I'd be willing."

"I want to. I'm just scared."

"Of what?" John motioned to the window where the snow drifts piled high in the distance and white covered all but the most ambitious of the trees and bushes. "He'll not reach you here."

"Not physically, no." Anna let her fingers run over John's shirt, digging into the material of his before she reached his waistcoat. "But I'm afraid it'll ruin any moment we have. His shadow, reaching from the darkness, will rip away whatever happiness I might find."

"Only if you let him." John kissed her forehead before cradling her face in his hands. "Trust me when I say that I'd wait forever for you, Anna Smith. If it takes a week or a month or a year or a lifetime. I'd wait however long it took just for the chance to make you happy."

"You already make me so happy." Anna brought one of her hands to his face, her thumb echoing his earlier motions on her cheek. The skin under her digit prickled and caught but Anna wanted to kiss each and every tiny hair. Wanted to kiss his very soul if she could. "I want… I want you to make me whole."

John studied her eyes before speaking. "Are you sure?"

Anna nodded, her eyes closing for a moment to steel herself against the rise of fear. "Yes. I'm very sure."

"Do you trust me?"

"With everything I am."

"Then follow me." He kissed her forehead again before leading her from the library, the tea and her book long forgotten. They stepped quickly and quietly over the landing toward the master bedroom and John opened the door without a squeak. A moment later it was closed they were alone in the cavernous expanse.

The space eased Anna, no choking attic or tight closet. John released her fingers to close the curtains but Anna put out a hand, making a small noise, and he paused. His frown dissipated in a moment when she shook her head.

"I want the light."

He smiled and opened his arms, as if welcoming her to the room. "Is there anything else you want?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but as Anna surveyed the room with its dark wood reminiscent of the rest of the house, the paler walls, and the large four poster bed there was nothing to say. It stood like an altar, both terrifying and intimidating. But something, as she walked toward it with her shoes clicking over his floor, called to her. Like the beckoning of a siren the water ringing in the ears of doomed sailors.

But, the thought teased at the back of her brain to drive back the threats of dark shadows and tears, what if one of them found peace with those urging calls? What if, she wondered as her fingers traced the fur of the duvet, they found salvation and not destruction there? What if she could find that too?

What if… Her mind circled it like a fighter proving its dominance in beating back the lingering questions about her decision. What if it all went right? What if she could be well again? What if he could make her whole?

Her fingers continued their trace over the fur of the duvet, a trophy someone once took from an animal she could not name but hoped was treated for its purpose. Fur, in her experience, was only fun is soft and smooth. And given her already trepidatious approach to the encounter, she prayed the itching scratch of a trophied pelt would not remind her of slinters and a sprained wrist. A wrist she held close to her chest a moment and while the flash of pain lingered there like a memory in the muscle and bone, Anna allowed a small stretch of her lips at the thought of how John bound that same wrist to her chest with his tie.

John. The knight in shining armor. The man whose hands settled so delicately on her shoulders Anna would have guessed they were butterflies. Where she shivered with the chill in the room, a chill she associated with Scotland in general, she shivered from anticipation.

"Are you alright?" He whispered in her ear and Anna turned in his arms.

"I… I want to see you."

He only nodded. Their hands met and shifted, their fingers interlacing and coalescing before Anna withdrew hers to start on the large buttons of his waistcoat. John waited, his arms loose at his sides, and did not add his contribution to the task.

In the oddest of circumstances, funny things strike. Anna's fingers prying John's buttons from his waistcoat did not give rise to her libido. Instead she noted how men's buttons were on the opposite from women's. How the larger buttons seemed fit for larger hands that needed a firmer grip. How they bore none of the decorative patterns or delicacy. How, as she stripped him of his waistcoat, men's fashion was barely that. It was all function.

Her fingers went to his tie, sliding down the length of it. When she returned her fingers to the knot John only raised his head so she could lift the sides of his collar. As before, John's hands remained impassive at his sides.

For each layer of clothing she removed, John did nothing but stand in the silence they created. But for the rasp of his clothing, the soft whisper when it floated or piled on the floor, and the small sounds Anna made, there was nothing. Even her half-worded plea for him to sit on the end of the bed had John immediately obedient, his back away from her, so she could address his shoes. Then his garters and socks once she shed his trousers.

The first real moment of fear, and not anxious anticipation mixed with a threat of terror, was the sight of his pants. Anna swallowed hard, looking away from it at first. But again, John made no move and no sound. He waited until their eyes met before offering her both of his hands.

Anna took them and John used her grip to stand. He dwarfed her at this height, even with his shoes removed, and she could do naught but stand in awe of him. The familiar caress of his calloused hands returned to her cheeks and he cradled her head along his palms.

"May I touch you now?"

She could not find words. Not for the expression in his eyes that held nothing but patience and adoration. Eyes that told her he truly would wait forever, as he stood before her almost naked, until she gave him leave. Eyes that promised there would be no finer thing, no more delicate object, no single purpose under Heaven that would receive better care than she would at his hands.

And all Anna could do was nod.

John's fingers, from years of pulling knots and working fine machinery, tugged her ties and buttons loose. His nimble fingers and smooth hands paused whenever her breath hitched or she shivered, waiting for her nods to continue moving until she stood in her slip, corset, and shoes before him. He took her hands again and turned them slowly to help her sit on the edge of the bed so he could take a knee before her.

The glide of his hand along her legs, the hints of kisses pressed to her stockings, left Anna's body puckering and shifting. When his lips touched her skin, rolling her stockings down her legs before he removed her shoes, all she could do was attempt to stifle her noises. But one flick of John's eyes to her face had Anna relinquishing her teeth's hold on her lip so John could trace the origin of each whimper to a motion.

Her slip fluttered to the floor and John put his hands to Anna's corset. The weight of his hands on her waist reminded her of their shared kisses in the past but, for a moment, the reminder of a weight there. She shuffled and shut her eyes to remove the memory but it was too late. John's hands went to the bed beside her, leaving her body the colder for it.

"No," Anna's voice surprised her, practically echoing over the silent room. "Please don't stop."

"You seemed uneasy."

"I'll be fine." Anna assured him, her hand gripping his to replace it. "It was a moment. The memory won't stay there forever. It can't."

"We don't have to rush this."

"I'm…" Anna took a deep breath. "We're not rushing anything. I promise, I'm fine. I want this."

John opened his mouth, as if to speak, and then shut it. After a moment, the skin of his cheeks flexing in and out, he finally found the words he needed. "It takes time. There's still time."

"I want this to be our time." Anna nodded at him, her other hand forming to his cheek as if she wanted to memorize it. "I don't want him here, with us. This place, this sanctuary, this is ours. I want to make it totally and completely ours."

John allowed himself to smile and rose up to kiss her. "Then let it be ours. Totally and completely."

Anna took her hands and pulled at the front laces of her corset. John's fingers joined hers, loosening her from the confines and strictures of it, to drop the heavier material to the floor with the rest of the detritus of their foreplay thus far. His fingers then settled on her breasts and held the weight as if acting proxy for her now abandoned corset.

She sighed into the delicate sensations he left. The flick of his thumbs, intentional or otherwise, over her nipples left them pointing and raised through her chemise. A soft kneading pattern of his hands excited the nerves until Anna pressed herself into his hold. And when he bent his head to wrap his lips over one of her breasts, Anna clutched at his skin and cried out.

The moment she registered the scars on his back almost stopped her. Her eyes opened, John's lips and mouth still occupied molding her now wet chemise to her skin, and the fear of God entered her at the veritable battlefield of his back. But John's shift to her other breasts distracted her. Drove her from contemplating the possibility of finding any unmarred skin there to urging John closer to her body.

His hands slipped from her breasts to find the edge of her chemise. When she shifted, John snuck his touch under the material to reach bare skin and they both gasped. The cold of the room left John's hands chilled and with Anna's skin rising in temperature due to his attentions, the shock gave her pause. But it lit a fire in their eyes and before John cold attempt another active seduction at her breasts, Anna hauled their mouths together.

All the passion from the kisses shared in shadows and darkness came out now. With afternoon sunlight leaving the dark room blazing with light, Anna succumbed to her passions in her unhindered perusal of John's mouth. He did not attempt to guide or stop her as he submitted cheerfully to her assault. In fact, his only action was to take her chemise in his hands and glide it further over her skin until he broke the kiss to leave her bare to him.

Anna almost tried to cover herself but John's kiss distracted her. Lulled her with its determination while his hands relaxed the jerk of tension in her body from the reveal. Her hands, forsaking the grip on his back, found position on his chest and smoothed the soft hair there. Hair, she discovered as John's body pressed toward hers to lay her back on the bed, softer than the fur under her.

He paused, leaving a lingering kiss on her mouth, to hold himself above her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She sighed, shifting in the fur to get a better feel for it. "I'm perfectly… perfect. It's all perfect."

"Then," John kissed her again, sucking a bit at her tongue before pulling back. "Let's move up a bit."

Anna went to her elbows, crawling back on the bed so her head cradled in pillows, but noticed John did not move. "I thought the dual nature of the suggestion was implied in the suggestion."

"I'm…" John bit at his lip, knees still perched on the end of the bed. "I'm wondering if you've any experience."

"Why?"

"Because what I want to do to you might seem… A bit unbiblical." Anna raised an eyebrow and John hurried to explain. "Not inappropriate just… Not what you probably learned when some matronly aunt told you about how this works."

"Will I enjoy it?"

"I hope so." John's grin took an edge of leering mischief. "If I do my job right you will, that's for sure."

"You've experience with this?"

"More than I should admit to."

Anna took in a breath and laid back, watching him. "I'll admit, the… The incident with Mr. Green wasn't the first time I've… In that context-"

"No." John's face was above hers in an instant, the set expression so different from the playfulness of before. "What he did wasn't anything like this."

"But I've done this before." Anna bit her lip, "Not that you're supposed to, as a girl, but there was a boy once and… It wasn't anything significant but I'm not completely untutored in it."

"Anna," John's lips did not go to hers, instead they settled on her jaw, moving down her neck with the determination that quivered in his every muscle. "This won't be anything like that."

She could not respond. Not when his lips settled on her breasts again. Without the sensation of the cloth on her skin or the rasp of the material over her sparking nerves, Anna writhed under the flood of signals now rushing through her. Without the hinderance, John's mouth could work over her without restraint and she cried out in abandon under the ravishing of his mouth.

But he did not stop there. John's fingers and hands set the path for his mouth to follow. Anna dug her fingers into his hair, refusing to recognize the dips and ridges of his shoulders when she flailed there for a hold, when his tongue swirled her navel. She lost her hold when John's fingers and teeth tugged at her knickers to leave her completely exposed before him.

Another shiver passed through her, from the chill or the promise of what came next Anna had no idea, and John let her knickers drop to the floor. Her legs closed, almost on instinct from years of breeding but John did nothing to stop her. Instead he stood at the end of the bed, his eyes not leaving hers until sure she was watching, and he dropped his pants.

The lack of thud or otherwise indicative sound made Anna wonder why there was no more adequate noise to represent the weight of the moment. To help her register with a sensation or a sound the gravity of John standing before her, as bare as she was, and waiting. It was almost like a statue made real and Anna sat up. The motion moved her legs open, to support herself, and Anna swallowed when John's nostrils flared at the sight of her.

When she thought about closing her legs this time, her limbs even moving to comply with the subconscious dictates of society, John's hand landed on her knee. The darkness of his eyes, from pupils dilated with arousal, loosened all of Anna's limbs and she lay back in direct proportion to John's body aligning over hers. She wanted, feared, anticipated, shied away from, and craved what came next. For the next, inevitable decision between them.

But it did not come.

John's mouth met hers in a kiss but his body did not lower. His chest brushed against her breasts, the hair sending her skin pimpling when it scraped along her breasts. But soon his mouth soothed any hint of irritation. His tongue took to her navel again and the firm grip of his hands at her hips only gave Anna leverage to urge John onward.

But his lips continued their descent and his shoulders widened her legs. When his mouth finally reached his "unbiblical" destination, Anna shrieked. The individual bumps and ridges of his tongue dragged along her skin and folds, licking from her while Anna could do nothing but respond to the primal urges of her body.

The bucking motions and that forced her hips closer to his mouth. The thrusts of her hips to try and drive his tongue deeper into her. And finally the grip she had on his hair to bring him down harder, faster, and deeper on her until she shattered. Shattered into a million pieces never to return into a single whole again.

Anna sagged and dragged ragged breaths into her starved lungs as her neck arched back into the pillows. The spasms of her body, trembling in all of her limbs, and gentle ripples of quivers through her muscles only guided John's lips back to hers. When they landed just below her jaw, Anna gathered the strength to lift his head to hers and tasted him. Tasted them. Tasted herself.

She chased it until John finally pulled back to breathe, his eyes alight with promise and the distinct weight of him on her thigh told her as much. But when Anna spread her legs wider for him, as if in invitation, John shook his head. He did not allow Anna the time to frown as he lay on his back next to her and nodded toward his legs.

"It'll be better for you."

"What?" Anna went up on one elbow, blinking at the threat of black spots on her vision. Her eyes took in the length and breadth of him from her position and the sparking nerves seemed to fizzle toward life again at the sight of such a virile, able, compassionate man next to her. "Better for what?"

"If you're…" John fumbled for words, his brow furrowing. "On top."

"On top?" Anna opened her mouth and closed it a few times, like a fish taking in food. "On top of you?"

"Like you're riding a horse."

"You're not a horse."

"The principle applies."

Anna examined the physics of it a moment. "Does it even work like that?"

"You'd be surprised about the agility of the human body." John scooted back, putting his back to the headboard and offering her his hands as if to guide her. "It'll be better for you."

"So you said." Anna carefully navigated getting her legs over his and edge closer to where he pulsed against his stomach. "What does it mean?"

"This way you'll be in control." John took his hands over her arms, glided down her back, and rested on her hips as Anna shifted forward again so she cradled her fizzling nerves to the root of him. He hissed at the sensation but when Anna went to move away his grip tightened. "And I can look at you."

"You could look at me from-"

"I can watch you."

Anna's brow furrowed and then cleared when her eyes widened. "Oh."

"Oh," John agreed and bucked his hips against her to press at her nerves and gain a bit of friction. "You won't have to feel scared if you're the one in control."

"I don't feel scared, not with you."

"Good." John tipped his head forward, kissing her so Anna could taste herself there again. "Then move, please, and join us."

Anna rose up slightly on her knees, manipulating their bodies, but only managed to run herself along his length. They both groaned together and her hands landed on John's chest in an attempt to hold herself steady. Their hips rolled so they undulated together until John's groan joined hers. When she tried again, John helped guide himself into her.

The rise and fall of her body, slipping him deeper and deeper into her as her body provided all the necessary lubrication, almost forced Anna's teeth through her lip. Even with John's urging for her to let whatever sounds they dragged out ring around the room, Anna could not predict the kind of sound she would make when her body split in half from the pleasure of John resting as deeply inside her as he could go. Her fingers gouged into his chest and she scrunched her eyes shut as if to try and find the perfect words for the signals reaching her brain.

There were none. And as Anna opened her eyes to see John's face, she could only kiss him. Kiss him and throw an arm around his shoulders to hold herself close to him while she bounced into her knees to try and increase the threat of pleasure rising in her again. A move she only accomplished when John broke the kiss and slid over the fur to lay flat on his back. He pressed his shoulders into the bed and arched his back to drive himself as deeply inside her as he could.

Anna's eyes could not have flown wider and her only option was to find purchase on his chest again and ride as he instructed. A firm grip with her knees at his hips, his hands at her hips, and her hands on his chest allowed them to ride together. Each thrust of John's hips bucked him deeper and deeper inside of Anna she was sure she would just split apart. But they held on together, riding the waves of pleasure until John's body shook and trembled.

His fingers, not as careful or as conscious now, fluttered and twitched at her nerves. Anna could no more contain the screech of unadulterated ecstasy she felt when he aided her over the edge again than she could stop herself succumbing to the bliss of John's release. Unlike whatever dalliance she had as a girl, this experience drove all bad memories and shadows to the furthest reaches of her mind so nothing but the light of the moment and the light of the room remained.

They slumped together, Anna landing on John's chest as his fingers tripped their way delicately over her back to the rise of her buttocks, and lay there. Even when Anna shifted to the side, sagging into the fur on her side, movement was almost impossible to contemplate. There was nothing in the universe more important than just lying almost comatose next to him.

Eventually John turned his head to her and Anna only managed a lazy smile. "Was it all you hoped for, Ms. Smith?"

"It was more." She dragged a lazy finger down his nose, tapping the tip before moving toward his chest. His hand caught hers but Anna only traced them too. Compressing and tracing their digits in mirrored motions. "So much more."

"Was it worth it?"

"It was worth whatever it might've cost." Anna blinked at him, lowering their hands so they could see one another. "Thank you."

John only smiled, continuing their twisting fingers. He stayed silent for a longer while than Anna expected before speaking again. "I don't think we were as quiet as we should've been."

"I certainly wasn't." Anna swallowed past the threat of heat in her cheeks. "But no one's… I've never…"

"Experienced your pleasure before?" Anna shook her head and John nodded. "I did warn you, that boy had no experience."

"I wasn't experienced then either."

"Boys don't need experience." John whispered, his fingers teasing in a fight for dominance with hers. "They just need a direction. Women, on the other hand, that takes skill."

"Which you have."

"Which I hope I have." John sighed, "I wanted you to feel that."

"I did." Anna leaned forward, kissing him quickly before sighing back into her pillow. "I suspect we'll have to tell Emmaline."

"If her grandmother hasn't already." John cringed, "For as aged as the caretakers of this house are, they're not yet deaf."

"It'd be more convenient if they were." Anna giggled with him, "But what a conversation for poor Emmaline."

"If she doesn't suspect already." John wrapped his fingers with Anna's to kiss the back of her hand. "I've got a feeling she knew we'd already shared a few kisses before I invited you with us."

"This was far more than kissing." Anna snorted, taking her fingers from John's grip to trace through the hair on his chest. "I'll be as red as Emmaline was the other night when we have to face everyone."

"Then let's not face them." John tipped forward, punctuating his words with kisses to her skin. "We'll just stay here, in our own little cocoon, and make one another deliriously happy."

"I thought you said earlier that we've got to come out of our cocoons?"

"Then I was a fool." John sucked at her neck and Anna pressed herself to his lips. "We should stay here forever."

"We can't." Anna pushed at his shoulder, so they could see one another. "And no matter how awkward or embarrassing, we need to face it."

"You're right." John slumped into his pillow, pouting. "Let it be what it is."

"Exactly." Anna waited a moment, her fingers continuing their trail of the whorls and nonsensical patterns in the hair on John's chest. "Can I see them?"

"See what?" John's brow took its turn to furrow before he opened his mouth like an 'O'. "Right, of course."

Anna cringed, "If you're not-"

"Anna," He kissed her, already moving to one elbow so they were facing one another for a moment, "It's fine."

"If they-"

"I told you. I can't feel the."

Anna swallowed and waited what seemed like an eternity for John to move onto his stomach on the bed. She focused on how his chin rested on his overlapped hands, the line of his bent arms, and the hunch of his shoulders as he settle before steeling herself to see his back. When she did, the hissing sound she made was enough to have John turn his head sideways on his arms to see her.

Her fingers curled toward her palm and, for a moment, she moved as if to touch them before drawing back. His little chuckle had her turning to him and he nodded, as much as his position allowed, toward the skin. "You can touch them if you want. I don't mind."

With another swallow, Anna let a finger touch the start of the first scar. The larger, broader scars resembled an enlarged version of the same strips that appeared on Edna Braithwaite's hand when she struck her with the strap. The ones that John's father's leather belt made with the end of it. Looping patterns showed the moment his father curled the belt on itself to strike him in a different set of lashing falls in an 'X' shape. And the final ones. The ones that corded and twisted from catches and cuts, were those from the metal end.

When she reached the end of them, stopping short of John's buttocks, Anna went to trace them again. She sat up now, on her knees next to him, and let both of her hands glide over the bumped and marred surface as if to massage them away. To press the indentations back into his skin and make him whole. But there was nothing to be done. His scars, his pain, remained for her to see. Laid bare before her.

Anna tucked her hair behind her ear and over her shoulder as she leaned down to kiss the scars. John was right. As her lips trailed them, he could feel nothing and not even a tremor passed through him to indicate he had any idea what she was doing. But the moment her lips graced near the rise of his ass, he jerked.

She stopped, biting at her lip before returning her mouth to the same spot. John trembled again and Anna followed the barest hint of skin over his sides to locate a place where John shied away from her. A grin broke over her face as she put her weight on her hand to hold herself above him.

"Are you ticklish, Captain?"

"I'll not tell." Anna's fingers found the spot again and the slight scratch of her nails over his skin had John letting out a giggle.

"I think you are." Anna continued, the beam of victory holding over her face. "I think you're trying to act as if you're not but if I press here-"

She went to touch the spot again but John turned and sat up so quickly she almost did not register his lips on hers. His hand went to her hair, molding it to the back of her scalp where he held firmly to take control of the kiss. A kiss he used to ravage her mouth with deeper and deeper sweeps of his tongue before they broke for air. The aroused expression held to his eyes but now there was something primal there.

something… possessive.

His nostrils flared as he tried to breathe, to calm himself, but Anna only put her hands into his hair and drew him to her again. They twisted, he landing between her legs, and Anna immediately using them to draw him closer. Her hips jerked and bucked toward him, dragging his thickening and growing length over her swelling folds until they both cried out.

John's hand held to her scalp while the other held him over her. His eyes studying her for a moment as his tongue licked over his lips. He tried to say something but nothing came out. When he tried again, his breathing still ragged so his voice was hoarse and thick to match the stroking member between her legs. "are you alright?"

Anna put her hand to his cheek, leaving the ruffled hair, and leaned up for a sweet kiss. "Of course I am. I'm with you."

His pace quickened then. The gentle, tentative exploration of before was gone. Instead they came together in a rush of slick bodies and scattered limbs. They fumbled and fit until Anna's back arched at the deep settle of him within her. In a single stroke he took all of her and left nothing but the raw openness of her senses ablaze. Then he set a punishing pace that let his hips piston against hers until the slick slap of skin accompanied the wet suck of their bodies joining.

The dig of John's fingers into her thigh, the tight clutch of her fingers in his hair, and the hot breath wafting between them, only heightened the tension of the moment. They clung and clawed at one another until their lips could meet again. Fingers and hands sought the places that would make the other cry out, Anna discovering the delicate flesh of John's ass and he returning to her breasts.

But what sent Anna over the edge, in concert with John's knowledgeable fingers and mouth, was the whisper in her ear. The simplest of phrases that left Anna howling to the rafters as she came. And in John's voice, as he followed her, the echo of her voice repeating the same phrase.

"I love you."


	13. Facing Our Fears

Anna opened her eyes, blinking in the near dark, and fumbled in the heavy sheets. She snuffled and tried to push the weight away before realizing the one settled over her abdomen was John's arm. With a snort of a laugh, Anna slipped herself free enough to escape the bed.

Her feet chilled on the wooden floor, leaving her hissing as she tiptoed to the fire. It almost burned to embers but with her hair held firmly in place on her shoulder, Anna used the small bellows to coax it back to life. The logs already gathered in the metal cage added slowly but surely to bring a crackle back to the fire so it spit and seethed when Anna snuck back toward the bed.

But John's movements left the covers scattered and him turned away from her now colder side. Anna caught sight, sparking orange amidst the shadows, of his back again and a tug on her heart left her swallowing back tears. Tears at the thought of the age of those scars and John's age when he received them. Her fingers traced them again, as she sat on the bed, and followed them toward his skin where he could finally feel her fingers.

John shifted back, moving to his back so Anna could bite her lip to stop the giggle at the scrunch of John's nose when he snuffled at the sensation. His movement further bunched the sheets and blankets so Anna caught sight of the tent there. The threatening beginnings of a more pressing problem that only had Anna licking at her lips and forcing a deep breath to calm the racing of her heart.

She swallowed and leaned forward enough to pull the sheets back entirely, leaving John's naked body exposed to her. The afternoon light had given her the right shades of his skin but now, with the orange light of the fire fighting back the darkness of the room, Anna could enjoy the way it painted him golden and red. Some pagan god resting in the moment between pleasures.

Anna slid forward, pushing the blankets back even farther as heat permeated the room and her body's temperature rose with the flush of anticipation and daring. A daring she might not have risked had John not taken the liberty earlier with his mouth on her. An idea she might never have had if she had not so enjoyed her taste on his tongue. Now, as she carefully calculated how to position herself, Anna wondered if he would enjoy his taste on hers.

Settling next to him, keeping her body as far from him as she could so as not to give the game away too early, Anna lowered her lips to his chest. The tickle of his hair on her lips reminded her of the same hair on her breasts and the flush of damp between her legs emboldened her. To lick and nip across his chest to his nipples and see if he experienced the same sensitivity she did.

John's snort almost ended her game but despite the furrow of his brow, he did not wake. Anna continued, adding soft graces of her hands to his body as she tracked and trailed her way further and further toward his hips. Skin and muscle contorted over bone so similar to her own and yet so very different. While his clothing was more function than fashion his body, Anna decided, was more fashion than function to her.

The slight brush of her hair over his already ready erection, brought a moaning sigh from John. She paused, her lips temptingly near his navel, and slowly rotated at the neck to let her hair brush back and forth across his arousal. When John let out another grunting whimper, Anna pulled back. She sucked her tongue in thought a moment, chewing the inside of her cheek, and then allowed the licentious smile to take over her face.

Carefully holding her hair to the side with one hand, and manipulating her knees to frame John's hips, Anna bent over him. Where her heart raced only moments ago in anticipation, she now faltered slightly in trepidation. So she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed the gentlest of kisses she could possibly manage to the tip of him.

Had she been any closer, Anna wondered if John's jack-knifing body would have knocked her completely off him. But with her knees pressed solidly to the bed and his hips, she kept her balance and only need to put a hand to his abdomen to keep herself upright. John's body, all rigid tension now, sat straight up and his eyes moved wildly as if trying to ascertain the origination of an attack. But once he fully woke up and saw Anna before him, two reactions fought violently behind his eyes.

The first was arousal and an obvious desire for her to continue if the swift thud of his heart under her palm was any companion to the dilation of his eyes. The other was the twitch of his cheek and jaw while his hands smoothed over her, looking for any possibly injury his instinctual reaction might have evoked. All Anna did, to silence whatever confused statements John opened his mouth to emit, was lower her head again and apply the same kiss.

John groaned backward, his legs flexing under her but responding to the gentle pressure Anna applied to push him back down to the bed. His chest rose and caved quickly and he forced his eyes shut as Anna settled more securely on his legs. And when she opened her mouth slightly to test tasting him, John's fingers dug into the sheets around him.

Theory and experience, in her educated opinion, are two very different things. The kind of difference between addition and subtraction, Anna supposes as she experiments with her tongue darting out to run along the length of him. One informs the other but cannot explain the nuances and details needed to master the concept. Like every time, as a child, her mother explained the basic anatomy differences between men and women.

Anna almost smiles when John's growling grunt at the exploratory lick of her tongue into the slit at his tip informs her that whatever explanations her mother provided about anatomical differences never covered this. Never covered how John's sounds aroused her even as his hands remained determinedly clutching at the sheets. Or how he thickened and grew in her mouth until she could not help herself but run her tongue along a pulsing vein along the underside of him. No theory or reference could tell her about the pleasure she could get engulfing him in her mouth and testing the wrap of her tongue around him. Or the softness of his skin in her hands when she removed her lips.

John's eyes were opened now, something Anna wondered might make the next foray into her current experiment more arousing, and they met. A flick of the flame in the fire caught in the darkness of his eyes and Anna leaned forward as carefully as she could managed to put her lips on his. And, as his hands finally found her skin and kneaded whatever flesh they could reach, she found he truly did like the taste of himself on her. Or perhaps he just liked the taste of her and wanted to swallow more of it.

That suited her. They could drown together in one another's tastes and touches. They could make this their little island of pleasure and pleasing.

A notion she did not even share with words before one of John's hands worked between her legs. Her hand faltered on him, fluttered in her attempt to hold steady while his fingers exercised their experience. Perhaps not with her but John learned quickly. Quickly enough to match the senseless rhythm of her hips with flicks of his wrist before the pressure of his thumb on her nerves sent her huffing and wheezing for breath.

They slipped back over the blankets, John's back securely on the headboard as he steered Anna with his fingers till between her legs. They crooked inside her, finding some nerve or muscle or thread to snap and leave her struggling to breathe between her moans of pleasure. The pleasure he always guided her to.

Anna's hands moved to his shoulders and then his face, her knees on either side of his legs as she perched over him with his fingers still buried inside her. Their lips met again in a furious display of passion on her part that left her breathing even more ragged than before and she had to pull away before black spots blinked before her eyes. John's smile only quirked and his fingers drew out of her so slowly Anna was sure he meant to draw out the pleasure still quivering in her body. But when he took those fingers into his mouth, Anna's dropped open.

He finished, sucking his fingers dry… in a sense, and replaced them between her legs. The slickness of his fingers guided her thoughts to their afternoon, of his mouth on her, and Anna's body shuddered. Gripping at his wrist, kissing at the surprise on his face, she repositioned and sank down on him.

John was not the only one who proved adept at learning quickly.

Anna settled, her body flexing and taking the growing familiarity of him between her legs, and let her fingers caress through his hair. She tried not to move, tried to suppress the desire of her newly exposed senses to exult in him and ride him… as he told her that afternoon. But she wanted something else. Something… Something she did not have words for.

"What is it?" His voice at her ear surprised her and Anna focused on his eyes, studying her while he bucked his hips into her, slowly and deliberately as his hands settled on her hip and ass. "Where are you?"

"I'm… I'm looking for words." Anna's fingers left his hair to frame his face, digging into his skin harder than she intended as she brought their foreheads together. "I want… I want something and I don't know what it is."

"Explain it to me." His lips brushed like shadows over her jaw, hands still holding her but not guiding her into his unconscious motions. "Tell me what you need Anna and I'll do anything to make it happen."

"I want… something." One of her hands left his face while the other went back into his hair so his head almost nestled in the crook of her arm. The point of contact allowed her fingers to flex in his hair and grip his scalp as his teeth and tongue attacked her neck. "I don't have the words for it."

"Imagine that." Anna hissed at the smile of his lips against her skin as he meandered over her neck. "And English teacher without words."

"I want this. Like before but… I want something slower and… I want… I want to feel you." Anna groaned against his ear as the hand at her hip shifted between them, playing at the nerves still exposed to his touch while their bodies shifted subtly against one another. "But I don't… It's already more than I can imagine."

"Then don't imagine." John pressed a final kiss to her shoulder as he brought his head up, his hand leaving her nerves to find the hand so held at his side. He interlaced their fingers and brought her arm across her body to join his at her core. "Just feel it. Learn yourself, Anna. That's all I'm doing."

"I want to learn you."

"I'm easy." His eyes crinkled with the smile she could only see there as their linked hands worked their fingers over her fizzling nerves. "We're simple creatures, men. So easy to understand and please."

"Are you?" Anna huffed, her hips rocking into his touch and the slightly more aggressive cues of his hips bucking into hers with the almost indistinguishable tightening of his fingers in her buttocks.

"Yes." John's mouth ghosted her skin again, lowering past her neck to the rise of her breasts. "You, on the other hand, I could spend the rest of my life learning you."

"Learning how?"

"How to pleasure you. Please you." His eyes lifted from under his forehead and Anna craned her head back slightly to see him. "Love you."

Anna arched her back to accomplish the odd contortion of bringing their lips together. John complied almost immediately, the hand at her ass bringing her as close to him as their bodies would allow so their hands trapped at her nerves rubbed and pressed with their mutual writhing. She whimpered into their kiss and John pulled back to immediately feast at her breasts.

The ridges of his skull were almost second nature to her fingers as she scraped them through his hair. It stood on end now, ruffled and rumpled by the constant agitation of her fingers seeking some solace in a world spinning about her. Their fingers at her nerves continued to play together until John moved his hand to her unoccupied breast. But his tutelage rang like muscle memory in her fingers now and she brought the sensations she needed to cry out in his ear.

John's mouth widened to a grin around her nipple, sucking hard before releasing so he could face her. Anna's chest pressed to his, filling and emptying so swiftly she could hardly hear the blood roaring in her ears. Blood that only ran faster when John's grip on her ass forced her so close to him each and every thrust of his hips struck deliberately to the end of her. With their eyes never straying, it did not take long for John to lose himself in her.

But he never quickened his speed. He just drove harder, longer, and deeper. Or he twisted his hips, taught her how to move in counterpoint, and gyrated against a rolling motion he encouraged. And when she tried to rise on her knees, or even bounce the way she might in a saddle, John only guided her back to the steady pace. The determined piston of a machine steady and sure. One that left her crying out a final time as John gasped her name into her shoulder.

They settled, John slipping down enough to perch himself on pillows while Anna remained clutching at his chest. Even when he shifted them slightly so he could slip himself out, Anna recognized the slick trail of him and wanted something more. Wanted more of him but… She buried her face in his neck, holding there even when John slipped even further down the bed.

The crack of the fire and the steady stroke of his fingers running through the inevitable tangles in her hair had Anna raising her head. "What were you dreaming about?"

"What?" He worked his chin along her scalp but Anna did not move, her fingers taking up a mimic of his motions as she stroked over the hair on his chest.

"When I woke up, to put wood on the fire, I noticed you were…" Anna swallowed, the blush in her cheeks surely so warm he could feel it where his heart pumped just under her ear. "You were more awake than I expected."

"You mean my hard on?" Anna's head rose slightly to meet his eyes but John only shrugged. "It's… It's a natural reaction for men. It doesn't always have to mean something."

"I was always told it was because the man wanted sex."

"Not always."

Anna nodded, settling back down, her fingers returning to their former occupation. "But were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Dreaming?"

"Maybe." He sniggered, kissing her hair as his fingers ran rivulets through it. "It's not hard to imagine but you woke me to a far better reality if I was."

"If you were dreaming…" Anna ran her tongue along the inside of her mouth before kissing his chest. "What were you dreaming about?"

"You probably." John's sigh rustled the hairs at the top of her head. "Most of my dreams lately, especially the ones that woke me in that state, were about you."

"Truly?"

"Truly."

"I'm flattered." Anna smiled against his skin, giving into the urge to kiss his chest again. "With all those important things you've got to think about, you're spending your precious hours dwelling on me."

"It was all that could help me sleep."

Anna pushed herself off his chest, sliding to the side as John's fingers left her hair, trailing almost unconsciously down her arm. "Why?"

"I think you sparked something in me and I…" He sighed, "I couldn't get you out of my mind. Couldn't escape you and I didn't want to."

"Me either." Anna caught his hand, kissing over his knuckles before brushing them along her chin. "Could you answer a question?"

"Of course."

Anna swallowed hard, "What took you so long… that night?"

"To find you, you mean?" Anna nodded and John leaned his head back against the pillows. "Mrs. Hughes did."

"What?"

"I was heading there, counting down the seconds on my watch, when she ambushed me. Wanted to talk about Emmaline's progress and her gratitude for what I've done for the school." John sighed, "I'm afraid I was toeing the line between brusque and polite just to get away from the conversation."

"That must've been how Mr. Green took the opportunity."

"Perhaps." John maneuvered his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers to bring the back of Anna's hand to his mouth. "But he's not here, remember. He can't reach us here, where we're safe."

"If only we could be safe here all the time." Anna slid down, reaching to bring the sheets and blankets over them. "Here in our little sanctuary."

"The offer still stands." John slipped down to put himself even with her, the covers keeping them covered and warming quickly. "For you to stay here."

"With just Kincade and M?" Anna shook her head, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Why not? They're good people."

"I never said they weren't." Anna's fingers reached out to play with a bit of John's hair before pushing it back. "But they're not what I love about this place."

"Aren't they?" John frowned and Anna buried her snort in her pillow. "Then was it the Christmas tree? We had a rather large one this year. And the presents were all rather good too."

"No," Anna kissed his forehead, shifting closer, "It wasn't the tree."

"What about our New Year's celebration? Hogmanay isn't for the faint of heart but you managed yourself well." John made a face of stoic pride. "Mrs. Hughes would've been beside herself with elation at your endurance."

"Then we'll not tell her about this endurance activity then." Anna dipped her head, teething over John's shoulder. "I wouldn't want to disappoint her."

"Then it must've been," John's hands slowly worked their way up her sides, holding firm to flip them so Anna was on her back, the covers sliding sideways off John's body. "Our midwinter festivities. They were just the other day and we had all the tenants here for a party. It was an occasion."

"I think, Captain," Anna trilled the word, noting the way John's nostrils flared when she said it. "That you're forgetting to count yourself in all those events."

"I was there, yes." John trailed his lips over her neck, one of his legs edging between hers to urge them apart as his kisses continued down. "I thought you looked lovely at all of them."

"Silly beggar." Anna sighed and then gripped for John's hair when he took to attending to her breasts with his kisses and nips. "Does it ever stop?"

"What?" He licked at her, swirling around the bud of one breast before turning to the other.

"Wanting." Anna's hips jerked forward, sliding the first hints of damp over his thigh where he notched it tight against her core. "Wanting this. Wanting you?"

"I hope not." John continued at her breasts. "I want you all the bloody time."

"I wanted you, that night after the festival." Anna bucked against John's leg and he held position with his knee to try and give her the friction her body craved. His lips stayed at her breasts, his hands supporting him on either side of her body on the bed, and Anna gripped at him for leverage or a hold. "I wanted that kiss to go on forever. For you to have me there, in the dark."

"You told me," John growled against her skin, arching his back up so his lips could continue their journey down her body while his leg stayed stationary. "In one of your letters."

"No, I didn't."

"You intimated it." John's hands ran over the sheets but Anna noted the alteration in his weight as he shifted his leg back so his fingers could take over providing the stimulation her body craved. "Told me about your dreams. About how that night continued to come up in them. About how you hoped to relive that experience and discover something new."

"Yes."

"Then," John went on his knees, taking Anna's hands from his sides and placing them between her legs. "For when I'm not around."

"I don't understand." Anna rose up slightly but John put a hand over her eyes, shushing her as his lips landed on her own.

"If you dream of me, you might wake up wanting and we can't have that." One of his hands covered hers, guiding her over the sensitive nerves to stroke through her folds. "You'll need to learn yourself so you can teach me."

"You already know me better than I know myself."

"Only for now." He soothed, lips returning to her breasts as he continued guiding her fingers in the basic motions around her sex to help her learn it. "I'll be gone for some time and you'll need to know yourself in the interim. By the time I return, you'll know yourself better than I do and you can teach me how to please you. How to make you cry out."

"I…" Anna's fingers fluttered and stopped, slipping in John's grip so he raised his head to look at her. "I want your lips on me. Like before. Like the first time."

John grinned, "Is that an order?"

Anna swallowed, "Yes. That's an order, _Captain_."

The speed of John's shift to remove both of their hands from between her legs and replace their motions with his mouth might have shocked Anna if she had any ability to think remaining. His mouth plundered over her, his fingers demanding at her hips and ass as he guided her body to better meet the maneuvers of his tongue, and Anna could only writhe and jerk in his hold. Her back arched, her shoulders pressed into the bed, her body trembled and quivered under his attentions until she was sure there was nothing left of her. And when that break, the tight spiral of pleasure that he snapped with such efficiency after drawing it so tight, she could only collapse on the bed.

But John was far from finished. His mouth left sloppy, wet kisses up her body as he surged forward to bury himself quickly inside her. Anna's legs tightened, trying to raise to his hips and John encouraged her movements. He held her tightly to him, grinding them together as if he could manage the last few breaths of separation that kept them from being one body. But he did not increase his speed, as she thought he might.

Instead he maintained that frighteningly slow pace he used earlier. The one that ripped her raw with the way each and every muscle that contorted or slid or slipped or rippled until there was nothing left of Anna Smith but tactile sensation that her mind could not comprehend it. Each grip and slip, each slide and glide gave way to her panting, whimpering, keening, and moaning until John quieted her with kisses.

Pretended to quiet her with kisses. They both knew. She knew when he did it. If he wanted to quiet her, his hand would not have moved to her nerves or his lips to her breasts. His motions did not seek to keep their coital encounter a secret. They begged her to let free all of her desires and wants. To fight back any and all shadows by releasing the parts of herself that might have been trapped, locked away after what happened.

He already told her, with his fingers guiding her through the first voyage of self-pleasure, that he wanted her to tell him how to please her. That was the thought that forced Anna's eyes open. Open so she could focus and see it there, in his eyes, as his body continued the torturously slow climb to pleasure.

The glow there, the glint, begged for her instruction. The craving of her approval and direction. The slight hint of fear that their moment, any of their moments, might all prey to the shadows Green left in her mind. That they may not endure when they are not together.

There are no words for that kind of despairing agreement. For the fear that grips their hearts while their bodies twist and contort in an attempt to meet the prickling demands of climax. For the desperation of finding one so desired that life might snatch cruelly away at any moment.

"Slower." He blinked, as if not expecting her to speak. Anna's fingers raised to dig slightly into his arm, holding him steady, and she took a breath to repeat her instruction. "Slower."

There was no hesitation in his acquiescence. They moved slowly, wrapping tighter and tighter around one another until Anna shuddered and fell. Her muscles clung and gripped him until John followed her over the edge. Joined her in that oblivion he led her to find and they made their own together.

Afterward, laying in a confusing rumple and tumble of sheets, Anna spoke again. "How long will you be gone?"

"The inspection process in London might take a month or more. Then I'll be back up for the Spring. Maybe a few days." His lips ran over her forehead, "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

Anna shrugged, holding tightly to him when he threatened to move to answer her unspoken request. "Don't. Not yet."

"We've missed both meals of the afternoon and, if I'm not mistaken, there was a moment when someone called our names."

"I didn't hear anything." Anna sighed against his chest, holding to him as she watched the fire crackle and spit. "And I don't want to hear anything until the morning. Then we'll face whatever's out there."

"Just my mother and my daughter." John cringed and Anna lifted her head to see his expression. "Both of them a slightly different mixture of disappointed, surprised, pleased, and embarrassed I'm sure."

"I can only claim that I am two of those emotions." Anna winced before settling deeper into the blankets. "Maybe three of them."

"Are any of them disappointed?"

Anna shook her head and John moved to lay at her level under the covers. "Never. I could never be disappointed by you."

"It might get out."

"What?"

"About you coming on holiday with me."

"And?"

"There are some who might call you names. Might…" John swallowed, "Might make you regret making this decision."

"I could never regret it." Anna kissed him, slowly and seeking to tempt him to the draw of her tongue until he chased it and she broke the kiss. "I couldn't regret any of it, not ever."

"Not ever?"

"No." Anna smiled, her fingers pushing his hair back again. "I should. A single woman, like myself, of reputation, should regret it but I don't. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"Not anything?"

Anna paused, her fingers stilling in his hair. "Maybe a thing or two. But not you. Never you."

"Me either." John's fingers trailed over her side, smoothing over skin he traveled often. "I don't regret any of it but I worry what'll happen to you."

"All I need to know," Anna put her finger over his lips, "Is that I am now who I was always meant to be."

"And who's," John kissed her finger, "That, may I ask?"

"Yours." Anna's fingers left his hair to trace his face. "Always and forever."

"For good and proper?"

"However, whenever, whatever." Anna snuggled closer to him. "But, for now, I want to be yours and sleep."

"I can help with that."

"Good." Anna closed her eyes, dozing lightly when she heard John's voice.

"I love you, Anna."

Her lips puckered to kiss his chest. "I love you John."

The last thing she knew, consciously, was the soothing slide of his hands over her back and his fingers stroking through her hair.


	14. Rumors and Their Insidious Circles

Anna accepted John's hand with a smile as he helped her from the train at Downton Station. The leather of his gloves crinkled when they wrapped the fingers of hers and Anna allowed the smallest of smiles to slip out. But the hint of romantic betrayal buttoned under forced propriety a moment later when Emmaline and Mrs. Bates disembarked the train as well.

"We'll see you when it's spring." Mrs. Bates hugged Emmaline fiercely before beckoning Anna over to kiss both her cheeks and whisper in her ear. "I very much doubt my son could go longer without seeing you."

"Nor I him." Anna answered back, kissing both cheeks as well.

"It felt good to scold him again." Mrs. Bates shivered as if with excitement at remembering the memory. "I haven't had a chance to berate his actions since he was sixteen. It's been far too long."

Anna darted her eyes to where John hugged Emmaline, kissing her solidly on the forehead as the porter brought her bags. "I'm sure he appreciated your care."

"He appreciated your care more." Mrs. Bates tapped the side of her nose when Anna's cheeks flushed. "Not to worry. Mum's the word and all that at my end."

"Truly?"

"Truly." Mrs. Bates stiffened her shoulders in a moment of self-importance. "It's been too long since I had a secret to keep to myself."

"And Kincade and M and Emmaline." Anna shuddered, "If I could do it over again I'd make sure to be a little more subtle."

"Darling, moments like that aren't for subtlety." Mrs. Bates bent around Anna. "John, if you don't hurry we'll miss the train."

"Coming." John gave one last embrace to Emmaline before stopping near Anna. "In other circumstances I'd kiss you now."

"And in other circumstances I'd let you." Anna extended her hand, "Just imagine that this is everything we'd want to say to one another on this platform that convention and propriety won't let us say."

"I'd need longer than a handshake to say all of those things." John winked at her, taking her hand firmly and running his leather-clad thumb over the back of her gloved hand. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll hold you to that." Anna released, shivering and nodding at the train. "Best get on before the train and your mother leave you behind."

"It'd be worth it." He peeked around before removing his hat to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll know." Anna kissed his cheek back, her lips lingering as the train whistle blew. "I love you."

"And I you." He drew back, replaced his hat, and climbed into the carriage after his mother.

The door closed and he put his hand to the window a moment before waving behind Anna to Emmaline. Anna put her arm around the girl, keeping her close as they watched the train pull away, and then turned to the porters still waiting with their bags. Her hand rubbed over Emmaline's arm.

"Come on, before you know it we'll be celebrating St. Patrick's Day."

"I'm not sure they celebrate here the way my family likes to." Emmaline smiled and they followed the porters to the motor waiting for them. "My mother used to go to Dublin every year for a week just to celebrate with her family."

"We did just have ourselves six weeks for Christmas so I can understand if they won't let you take a week during Spring Term." Anna allowed Emmaline to enter the cab first and then followed, leaning over the seat to give the man instructions to Downton before sitting back. "Did you have a nice holiday?"

"You ask as if you weren't there."

"I ask because I was there." Anna put her hands in her lap, pulling at her gloves before turning to Emmaline. "You don't mind, do you?"

"That you came with us for Christmas?"

"That your father and I are…" Anna shook her head, "It's so odd to say."

"Lovers?"

Anna shuddered, "Please never use that word again."

"Isn't it true?"

"It puts a bad taste in my mouth." Anna grimaced, "And it's far too simple a term for what I hope your father and I are to one another."

"What are you, to one another?"

Anna leaned her head back, thinking. "Kindred spirits I think. Two souls of a similar experience and nature drawn to one another through shared circumstance and a host of sufferings."

"What kind of sufferings?"

"The kind you'll understand when you find someone for yourself." Anna reached for Emmaline's hand and gave a little sigh when the girl allowed her to take it. "I don't want to overstep any bounds or threaten the relationship that you and I have together but… I love your father, Emmaline. I don't know where this will go but I know that my future lies with him. Wherever that may lead."

"Even if it's away from Downton?"

"At this point I'm fairly certain I won't remain on at Downton regardless of what happens between your father and I."

"Why not?"

Anna bit her lip, "It's something I hope you never understand and a tale I don't think I want to tell you for the same reasons."

Emmaline frowned, sitting back in her seat. "Was it what you told my father in the train compartment on our way to Inverness?"

"Yes but he already knew most of it." Anna sat up a little straighter as Downton came into sight. "But, for the rest of it, I think we should keep it between ourselves for the time being."

Emmaline nodded, "I don't need to encourage any more rumors in my direction. And I certainly don't want them talking about my father."

"Me either." Anna patted her hand as the cab pulled just outside the front doors. "I'd like for our private lives to remain that way."

She went to disembark from the cab when someone put their hand over hers to help her out. Anna jerked away on instinct when Green's face greeted her. Her entire body stiffened and it took Emmaline's smaller hand on her arm to even urge her to move after the encounter froze her.

"My, my Ms. Smith. We are jumpy." Green's smile hinted toward a leer and Anna intentionally avoided him as she stepped down from the cab and helped Emmaline to follow, keeping the girl behind her. "Did you encounter some kind of snark in Scotland that put you on edge?"

"There are no such things as snarks." Mrs. Hughes's voice broke through the tension and Anna relaxed slightly as the woman approached. "It's a wild country but not a mythical land."

"Last time I was in Scotland all I got for my trouble was a belly full of heather and the worst beds I can imagine sleeping on." Green snorted, "I almost kissed the ground when I came back to England."

"Will you allow him to disrespect your home Mrs. Hughes?"

"Mr. Green is entitled to think what he likes." Mrs. Hughes's lips twitched toward Green before she addressed Anna and Emmaline. "How was Inverness? It's been a time since I was farther than family in Argyle but I trust you enjoyed yourselves in the moors?"

"Reminded me a bit of home really." Anna reached to take her bags from the cab driver while handing over the requisite payment. "Thank you."

He placed his crooked fingers to his forehead and nodded at her before returning to his place and driving away. Anna noticed Green had not moved but chose to address Mrs. Hughes instead. "And how were the girls who stayed? Not too homesick I hope?"

"Ms. Baxter and Mr. Moseley made sure they were all eating Christmas dinner with a family in town and that they received their letters and gifts on time from their families." Mrs. Hughes pulled out her watch and her eyes went wide. "Speaking of, we've got a number of girls on their way this afternoon and I need to make sure it's all ready for them."

"I'll help."

"No, you situate yourself and Ms. Bates here and then make sure you're chipper for your evening and morning rounds." Mrs. Hughes winked at them before sweeping back into the school.

Anna pivoted to Emmaline, doing all she could to continue ignoring Green. "Go and take your things up. We might have time for a quick trip into the village to send a telegram to your father, tell him your safe, before supper if you're up for a little walk."

"I'd love that." Emmaline squeezed Anna's hand and, before Anna could argue, nabbed all of the bags to maneuver them into the school.

Anna let out a sigh, a small smile quirking at her lips, but it died the moment Green stepped into her path. "I do have duties that need my attention, Mr. Green."

"Still so formal?" He leaned toward her, his hand coming toward her face but Anna dodged aside. "After what we shared?"

"I'm sure the only thing I'd ever consent to sharing with you is the intimate details of the pointy end of a pitchfork." Anna swallowed, nodding toward the school. "Now let me by."

His leer deepened. "I feel like we've been here before, you and I. Having a conversation like this one."

"That would usually signal insanity."

Green blinked, "What?"

"Insanity is performing the same task over and over while expecting a different result." Anna held her position. "I don't know what you could possibly want from me, Mr. Green, but whatever it is I won't give it to you."

"Didn't you realize, Anna," His voice took on a menacing tone and it was all Anna could do not to shiver in fear as her jaw clenched. "I don't wait to be given anything. If I want it, I take it."

"I'm quite aware of how you do what you do." Anna let her voice even, her hands shaking before she bawled them into fists. "And I know what you are. I know the validity to all those rumors from London now."

"And you'll what? Risk your reputation to tell everyone they're true?"

"I won't be risking anything."

"And who would, your Mr. Bates?"

Anna bit the inside of her cheek. "Whatever Captain Bates is, he is an officer in His Majesty's Navy and deserves the respect befitting his rank and for you to address him as such."

"Protective of your mutilated cripple are you?"

"He's not a cripple."

"I had a friend, served under your Bates for a time, and he told me all about that disgusting back of his." Anna thought she tasted blood in her mouth and released the hold of her teeth on the skin. "He's a cripple, no matter which way you slice it. Anyone looks like that, they're a fecking Quasimodo."

"I'll ask that you watch your language, please. This is a ladies' college."

Green pantomimed putting a hand over his mouth. "Did I offend the sensibilities of a woman who spent her Christmas holidays shagging him?"

Anna went to pass Green but he grabbed her arm. "Let go of me."

"I think you need to learn what happens to sluts like you."

He tried to drag Anna through the gravel but she dug in her heels and used her free hand to slap him. The motion struck hard enough across his ear to upset his balance and he released her arm to stop himself toppling over. Anna caught herself and hurried toward the school, trying to shout for help but only managing weak cries that barely echoed back to her. She almost reached the doors when arms wrapped around her waist and brought her to the ground with a loud shriek.

Scrabbling over the gravel, Anna managed to collect a handful and threw it into Green's face when he tried to turn her over. His weight lifted off her and Anna scrambled through the rocks to get to her feet. Her shoe came off and Anna reached to grab it as Green approached again. Without thinking, she brought the hard heel around and caught Green in the temple, tearing a gash through his cheek as the worn heel exposed the nail.

Red blossomed over Green's face and he howled, his hand going over the wound as he tumbled to his side on the drive. Anna almost screamed, the energy and adrenaline pumping through her body, and raised her shoe when another hand landed on her shoulder. But Mrs. Hughes immediately released her hold on Anna, stepping back with her hands raised in surrender, as Mr. Carson joined her.

Anna collapsed into Mrs. Hughes's arms, sobbing as Mr. Carson's bulk sidestepped them to grab for the crying Green. He hauled the man to his feet and dragged him inside the building as Mrs. Hughes shuffled Anna into one of the rooms off the entryway. They cocooned in there until Anna could no longer hear the screeching sobs of Green down the hallway.

"What happened Anna?" Mrs. Hughes held her and Anna could only shake her head, dropping her useless shoe to sob helplessly into the other woman's arms. "I was only gone for a minute."

Anna could not get any words past the choking in her throat and just managed to shake her head. Mrs. Hughes patted her arm and helped her up the stairs to her room, closing the door on anyone who thought they might want to ascertain the events from the noises echoing throughout the school. When they were safely ensconced in Anna's room, the lock turned with a satisfying click, Mrs. Hughes sat on the bed opposite Anna's.

"What happened Anna?"

Anna coughed, swallowing to get her emotions in order as her chest spasmed. The hiccups of her heavy sobs combined with a lack of oxygen only worsened them until Mrs. Hughes took her hand and rubbed over it as if to soothe her. The motions worked and soon Anna could breathe normally and the salt of her tears dried to her cheeks. A wet cloth pressed over the tracks and Anna nodded her thanks as Mrs. Hughes removed her hand.

But when Mrs. Hughes opened her mouth to speak, someone banged on Anna's door. Both of them froze as the distinct slap of the flat of someone's hand went to the wood while another hand rattled the knob. "Anna, I know you're in there and I need you to open the door right now. This is urgent."

Anna hurried to the door, wiping her face with the cloth as she turned the lock to allow Mary inside. Mary closed the door quickly and rested her weight on it as if shutting out anyone else attempting to slip through the cracks. She opened her mouth to speak, pausing at the sight of Mrs. Hughes, and then frowned in response before shaking her head to continue.

"We've a situation on our hands."

"We're attempting to handle that ourselves." Mrs. Hughes stood, opening her hand in Anna's direction as she continued to try and wipe over her face.

"Then you know about the Christmas Ball?"

"What?" Mrs. Hughes's forehead deepened with a multitude of lines. "What about the Christmas Ball?"

"Isn't that the situation you're attempting to handle?"

"We're trying to handle the outcome of the attack Anna just sustained outside this school. Just now." Mrs. Hughes reached for the abandoned shoe, showing Mary the drying stain. "She slashed his face with this."

"I hope she managed more than that." Mary addressed Anna. "It happened to you again? Within spitting distance of this school?"

"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Hughes brandished the shoe. "It happened in the drive right outside the front doors."

"I don't think we're discussing the same event." Mary put up a hand. "Mrs. Hughes, I don't think you understand the gravity of-"

"Both of you please stop." Anna broke through their argument, sitting down so hard on the edge of the bed the springs creaked. "You're both right."

"Both right?" Mrs. Hughes's forehead wrinkles deepened before they vanished entirely as her eyes flew wide. "He's done this before?"

"There were rumors of something like this happening at his last school, in London." Mary winced, "I happened to confirm those when I was making some inquiries about it over the holidays."

"And we allowed that monster into our school? Around our girls?"

"We didn't know at the time and the rumors didn't even spring up until just before the Autumn Festival." Mary held up a hand to stop Mrs. Hughes blustering anger boiling over. "Measures have already been taken. Sergeant Willis is downstairs to take him in for questioning."

"A little late for that now that he's gone and assaulted Anna."

Anna's lip quivered and the tears came again, distracting the other two women from their argument. She buried her face in the cloth, soaking her tears into the already damp material as Mrs. Hughes's voice sounded in her ear. "Have I said something wrong dear?"

"It's what I came here about." Mary swallowed and Anna peeked out to watch Mary take the desk chair. "There's a rumor circulating the village about you and Captain Bates involving the Christmas Ball."

"What?"

Mary shrugged, "Someone swa you two leave together and when he brought you back here the next morning…" She cringed, "The prognosis isn't good Anna."

"Is the suggestion that Captain Bates and I…."

"So says the village gossip." Mary shrugged, pointing to Mrs. Hughes. "But news of you being attacked by Mr. Green'll surely drive all of those horrible assumptions from their minds."

"Who spread the rumor?"

"It's more about who saw him take you from the Christmas Ball." Mary held up her hands, "Far be it from me to judge what two people get up to when the blood's running hot and all that but-"

"Captain Bates was saving me." Anna sniffed, dabbing at her eyes and bringing her fists between her legs as she met the raised eyebrows of the two women before her. "This wasn't the first time Mr. Green's attacked me."

"I beg your pardon?" Mary held the edge of the chair and Anna nodded. Mary sagged in her seat, "Oh bloody hell."

"The night of the Christmas Ball…" Anna licked over her lips to try and force the words out. "I was dancing with Captain Bates and… I admit we had salacious suggestions for one another. I went to the back stairs to access the attic so…"

Mary snorted and dropped her smile at the disapproving scowl from Mrs. Hughes. "Apologies. This is serious."

"Captain Bates was supposed to meet me up there but Mr. Green cornered me instead." Anna tugged at her fingers. "He'd dug through my drawers, which I confirmed when I returned the next morning, and found a number of letters I'd received from the Captain that were… Less than appropriate for two unmarried individuals to write to one another."

"And Mr. Green read them?" Mrs. Hughes frowned as Anna nodded. "Why would he read your letters?"

"Mr. Green's made his intentions, where I'm concerned, known. Frequently and with no confusion. Unfortunately he doesn't accept that I don't return what he believes are affections and that's irked him to a large degree."

"To the degree he'd attack you on the drive outside the school?"

"I believe he attacked me today because his last…" Anna took a deep breath, losing her eyes and curling her fingers toward her palms to stop them trembling. "He attacked me at the Christmas Ball. It was… Brutal and horrible. Captain Bates found me and took me back to his hotel so I wouldn't be alone at Downton that night and called for Doctor Clarkson to look me over."

"Is that why you went to Scotland for the holidays?" Mary motioned her hands around. "Because you didn't want to be here?"

"I traveled there with Captain Bates and his family for the holiday and… Mr. Green was angered by that, apparently."

"I'm going to guess you're more Captain Bates's than you'll ever be Mr. Green's." Mrs. Hughes offered and Anna nodded, twisting the cloth in her hands. "I thought I heard him slur you outside."

"It might also explain where the rumor came from." Mary huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "Jealous cock decides he'll ruin the reputation of the woman he hurt to try and stop a good man from gaining where he never could."

"What do they say happened at the Ball?"

Mary shrugged, "The suggestions are just that you are, perhaps, a fallen woman. Or else that you're chasing his position and his money."

"Then he's trying to ruin my reputation?"

"It's… In a bit of danger, yes." Mary cringed, "And with that gash you put in face matched with the accusations that'll be leveled at him once they've got him in custody… It doesn't look good, Anna."

Anna nodded, standing and leaving the thoroughly twisted cloth on the little table. "Term doesn't officially start for another two days, yes?"

"Yes." Mrs. Hughes frowned, "Why?"

"Because Emmaline and I need to go to London, tonight."

"I told you, I made all the inquiries when I was there for the holidays and-"

"It's not about what you can prove about Mr. Green." Anna gathered a few of her things. "This is about what I need to do."

"Do what?" Mary thrust her open hand toward the door. "If Mrs. Hughes told the whole truth then there's a man in the infirmary with a gash in his face because you put it there. I'd say you already did what you needed to do."

"It's not that." Anna tucked her things into a small bag and unlocked her door. "It's something far more serious."

"There's something more serious than a bleeding man?" Mary followed her out of the room and down the hall to Emmaline's room. "This brings back memories."

Anna ignored her, knocking on the door so Emmaline opened it a moment later. "Can you pack something for two days?"

"That's when term starts."

"We'll be back in time."

Emmaline frowned, noting the trio of women outside her door. "What's going on? Where are we going?"

"London, as quickly as we can get there."

"Why?"

"Because you're father's in London." Anna turned to Mrs. Hughes. "If Sergeant Willis has any questions for me while I'm gone please tell him I'll be back by start of term. I wouldn't want to delay him unnecessarily in the course of his investigation."

"If he's even got time to get to you after he's waded through all the other people Mr. Green's…" Mary stopped herself, biting on the end of her tongue at the look on Emmaline's face. "I'll go see about some train tickets for the two of you."

"And I'll see that Mr. Carson hasn't bludgeoned Mr. Green himself."

Emmaline opened her mouth, completing the overall look of confusion painting her face as Mary and Mrs. Hughes left the corridor, and turned back to Anna. "Ms. Smith, what's going on?"

"There's something… a few things, I need to tell you Emmaline."

Anna went into Emmaline's room and explained the details as Emmaline packed. Or tried to pack. The story quickly distracted her and Anna took over as Emmaline slumped onto her bed.

"That's why you were so sad on the train. Because of what-"

"Yes." Anna closed the latches on Emmaline's suitcase. "And that's why I need your father's help."

"Are you fleeing the country?"

"What?" Anna shook her head, "No, I intend to suggestion something a bit more drastic to him and I hope he sees the logic in it."

"In what?"

"I'll wait to tell you when I know how he'll respond."

Mary drove the two of them to the train station, all three staunchly ignoring the tittering of the other girls and the faces pressed to the glass as they drove away. Anna and Emmaline boarded and sat in silence for most of the ride. But once they reached the station, Mary's promised telegram arriving ahead of them, Anna and Emmaline immediately lost themselves in the embraces of John and Mrs. Bates. John in particular took care to check over both Emmaline and Anna before attempting to lead them to the car.

"Captain," Anna put a hand on his arm, stopping him. "I need to speak with you in private first. If that's amenable."

John turned to his mother and daughter before digging into his pocket for his pocketbook. "Mother, please take Emmaline to the teashop across the street. We'll meet you there."

"Of course. Come along Emmaline." Mrs. Bates wove her arm through Emmaline's and led her away.

Anna and John found one of the waiting rooms empty and John locked the door from the inside to ensure no one could enter. The frosted glass allowed them to watch the shadows of people pass by, even given the lateness of the hour. When they sat, Anna gave an audible sigh and then snorted a laugh.

"How is it that sitting for hours can be exhausting?"

"I don't know." John reached out for her hand and Anna gave it over. "Why are you here Anna? Lady Mary's telegram only said that I was supposed to be the solution to some kind of problem."

"Did she tell you what happened?" John shook his head and Anna gave her detailed version of events. When his hand tightened in her grip Anna made a point of covering his hand with hers. "We're here to solve a problem, John, not incur another if we can help it."

"There'll be no more problem if the man is dead."

"And then where will you be?" Anna waited and John's jaw slackened a bit. "My concern is my standing more than his field of final rest."

"How'd you mean?"

"Even if they prove, in court, that he's a lecherous snake who attacked and brutalized a number of women, my reputation hangs by a thread."

"And if you testify…"

Anna nodded, "I need a way to protect myself and, by association, your family if I can and all this comes out like I fear it will."

"My family's fine."

"But your position is up for consideration and, despite what you told me in Scotland, I believe you want this promotion." Anna smoothed her gloved hand over his. "You've earned it John."

He kissed her glove. "Then what's your plan? How can I help you Anna?"

"You're not going to like this."

"What?"

"We need to get married." John balked a moment, blinking furiously and Anna nodded. "I considered this the most plausible reaction."

"It's not because I don't want to marry you, Anna." He hurried to say but Anna just put her free hand alongside his cheek to kiss the other one.

"I know."

"It's… We can't. So close to the possible promotion it'll… It'll throw into question my intentions, my motivations, my focus, and perhaps even my morality."

"That ship, Captain, has sailed." Anna grinned and John laughed with her. "And what could they say about you marrying a respected educator?"

"I'm more worried about what they'll say about you?"

Anna smiled, noting the different lines of worry, forecasting, and concerns that creased John's face. Her thumb stroked along his cheekbone, "Am I not as strong as you are, John?"

"I've no doubt about it."

"And have you not stood by me through thick and thin?" She paused, "Thin and thin, more like."

"Always and forever." He turned his face to kiss her gloved palm.

"Then trust that this is the best answer. This is the only answer." Anna took a deep breath. "We both need to be above reproach for what lies ahead. Our motivations and intentions without exception. We need to be more than standing on the sidelines of these problems without even the right to be kept informed should things go wrong."

"Things won't go wrong."

"I'm not sure our individual experiences can justify thinking like that." Anna sighed, dropping her hand to join the clump their joined appendages made. "We need to get married."

"I'm guessing you mean tomorrow." Anna nodded. "How?"

"We'll get a special license, something I'm sure a Navy man can acquire a bit faster than I could, and we'll be married tomorrow. We only have to tell Emmaline and your mother but this we will do."

John held her gaze for another moment before snorting. "I had wanted to propose to you in a more romantic setting. To plan a wedding for summer or fall where you'd wear a crown of flowers or twined leaves and a beautiful white dress. We'd dance together and laugh until our faces cracked from smiling. Then I'd take you to our own little place somewhere and we'd make it ours for however long we could stay there."

"Like we did at Tero Fell?"

John nodded and then went to his knee before Anna. "In the light of our circumstances, knowing that I love you with all of my being and all this represents is an advancement of my plans, I've a question to ask you." Anna maneuvered her fingers in his hands, squeezing as they both smiled at one another. "Anna May Smith, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"Yes."


	15. Labors of Love

Anna held still as Emmaline twisted her hair into a braided crown around her head to support the borrowed veil. Mrs. Bates tightened Anna's corset and helped her work into the dress as the gray tinge of morning just brushed the horizon. All three women tried to hide yawns and bleary eyes as they hurried to get Anna ready before the chime of the clock.

"It's the best we can do on short notice." Mrs. Bates sighed, pinning the last of Anna's hair as Emmaline gave over to a jaw-stretching yawn. "But you'll only have us to impress anyway."

"You've done lovely work." Anna took a turn in the mirror. "It's a lovely dress. Wherever did you get one on such short notice?"

"I've a friend who deals in them." Mrs. Bates pulled out the skirt, helping it lead into the train. "She wanted to see how the it would look on someone and I promised to have it back before noon."

"She'll get it back." Anna stretched her arms and tested her limits in the dress. "It's a bit tight."

"When you have an actual wedding, one where we've planned and prepared, it'll be better." Mrs. Bates stepped back, scrutinizing the dress. "Much better than what feels like the desperate attempt of two people trying to conceal a pregnancy."

"I'm not pregnant." Anna shook her head, "And I thought John explained the reasons to you last night."

"Aye, he did." Mrs. Bates shook Emmaline, who had fallen asleep on her hand on the vanity. "But I still believe you both deserve far better. A church wedding, for example, would better suit you both."

"There's nothing to say we couldn't renew our vows in a year."

"I guess I'll resign myself to that fate." Mrs. Bates helped Emmaline stand. "What are we going to do about you? Your term starts tomorrow and here you are dozing off when you've not even been up an hour."

"They won't make me start this early for term." Emmaline argued, pointing toward the black window before helping Anna into her coat and picking up the train with Mrs. Bates. "And I'll sleep on the train this evening."

"That's another thing." Mrs. Bates's voice wafted toward Anna as they descended the stairs in the little London home. "You'll not even have a proper wedding night or trousseau. I know you've not prepared one and a woman can't borrow that kind of thing. It's bad luck and bad form."

"She's already had the wedding night, Grandmama."

"Emmaline Jean Bates if I hear you say something like that again I'll take a switch to your backside. I don't care how old you are."

"But she's not wrong."

"It doesn't justify a lady making mention of something like that in company."

"We're all about to be family." Anna nodded at Emmaline's comment as she stood still to take the train of her dress with one hand and the cab driver's with her other to get into the back of the waiting motor. "Isn't it what you say to family?"

"Do we look uncultured to you?" Mrs. Bates took her seat with the driver and gave him the directions. "Quick as you can. We're on a bit of a schedule."

"I'm not sure why." Anna leaned forward, one hand to her veil to keep it in place. "The dress doesn't have to be back until noon and John's interviews don't start until the day after tomorrow."

"I may've said you'd have no proper wedding night," Mrs. Bates wagged a finger at Anna. "That doesn't mean I didn't arrange for you to have time to yourselves. It's bad luck for newlyweds to not see one another for a long period right after the wedding and risk it going unconsummated. Raises too many questions and we'll need this confirmed and consummated so it's all done and dusted if it comes up in John's interviews."

"Is there to be a bedding ceremony as well?"

"You laugh Ms. Smith but I'll not have there be any rumors about the marital state of my John when I have to fend off the curious and the angry with a broom at my stoop." Mrs. Bates folded her arms over her lap as they trundled through the empty streets. "You may not've been who I anticipated he'd choose but you're better than the other options I was considering before you."

"Grandmama was attempting to match-make." Emmaline whispered as Anna sat back. "Wanted him wed so he wasn't tempted at sea."

"By what? A seal?"

Emmaline shrugged, "I think she'd heard a rumor about his competition for the admiralcy and didn't want Papa to suffer the same kind of scrutiny."

"Were there questions about it?"

Emmaline's eyes darted behind her spectacles. "I'd heard, from one of Grandmama's tipsy society friends last Christmas, that some suspected he didn't like women given the acrimonious marriage he had with my mother and the rumors they'd only… shared relations to have me before quitting each other."

"I can heartily put any rumors to the contrary to rest." Anna patted Emmaline's hand. "Your father very much enjoys women."

"I think he just enjoys you."

"From now on he'll enjoy only you or I'll tan his hide with a hawthorn." Mrs. Bates voice cut through their conversation before she pointed to the driver. "Here."

They disembarked, Emmaline taking charge of Anna's train while Mrs. Bates took her hand to help her up the stairs to the Registrar's Office. The corridors were as eerily empty as the roads so early and only a night-watchman, yawning so hugely Anna feared the contagion of it might leave them all unable to do anything but, was there to direct them to the office in question. Together the three of them crowded into the office and waited on the provided chairs.

Emmaline leaned around Anna, the train of the dress spread across both of their laps, to speak to her grandmother. "Where's Papa?"

"It's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding."

"But she's got a coat on." Emmaline shivered, "This office is frigid."

"They've not come in to start the stove." Mrs. Bates pulled her coat closer about her body. "And it's the principle of the thing. Besides, your father had to collect two witnesses."

"We could be witnesses.

"You're not of legal age and neither of us can vote." Mrs. Bates shook her head, "We're about as good to these proceedings as set decoration."

Anna sat back, smiling to herself at the chatter of her soon-to-be family sitting around her. They waited in the office until two bleary secretaries made their way inside and an office boy dashed about to get the stove started. A discernable sigh echoed from all as they immediately latched onto the rush of heat before the door opened to let in a blast of cold air.

A body almost draped over Anna as Mrs. Bates sought to hide her from John's eyes before the tallest man with him clapped two hand over his face. Mrs. Bates berating remarks were lost in a din of exchanges with the two men whose voices rose louder and louder to defend their actions and apologize in equal measure. It left Anna unable to do anything but accept the carting away to a corner closet as Mrs. Bates kept sentinel at the door and John's voice sounded on the other side, clearing up the details of their early morning appointment.

She put her hand to the frosted glass of the door when his voice sounded on the other side of it. The shadow of his hand rested over hers and Anna smiled to herself in the dark of the dusty closet. "Hello."

"Hello." His voice sounded almost as breathy as her own. "Sleep well?"

"I was so excited and nervous I don't think I managed two winks together."

"Me either." They giggled together a moment, his fingers stroking the glass and hers matching his motions. "I didn't even feel this way the first time I got married. Nervous, sure, but not…"

"Giddy?"

"And our English instructor's found her words again."

"Don't make fun." Anna pressed on the door, as if to shove at him. "Who are your witnesses?"

"Two lieutenants of mine. Men of astoundingly good character, I promise you."

"They serve with you so I'd expect nothing less." Anna nodded, even if he could not see her motions. "What are their names?"

"Lieutenant Tom Branson and Commander Henry Talbot."

"Which one was putting his hands over your eyes?"

"That would be Henry. Tom's a bit too short and my mother was busy berating him in Cant so…"

"Makes it rather complicated to do two things at once I'd imagine." They both started when someone called their names. John's hand pressed flat to the frosted glass and Anna echoed his motion. "See you in a minute?"

"I'm counting the seconds."

His shadow left the door and a moment later it opened to reveal Emmaline. She took Anna's coat and fluffed out the train of her dress again while Mrs. Bates handed over a small bouquet. Anna narrowed her eyes at the flowers and then at Mrs. Bates while Emmaline pulled the veil over Anna's face. "Where did you get these flowers on short notice?"

"I may've borrowed them as well."

"Everything on me is borrowed today." Anna shook her head, sending the wisping veil shifting over her face. "Which parts of it are old?"

"If the dress is the borrowed part, the flowers are the blue part, and the veil is the old part…" Emmaline frowned as Mrs. Bates led them to the door of the room. "Where'd the veil come from anyway?"

"It was mine." Mrs. Bates winked at them, "And the new part is the ring you're about to wear, just so you can put your check in that box."

Anna reached out, holding her hand. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." Mrs. Bates other hand rested over hers. "You've made my son very happy again and it's been some time since he's had those kinds of smiles on his face. Furthermore, you've been an angel of mercy to my granddaughter and there's not a person on this earth who's done the same for whom I wouldn't argue at the bar of God."

"All the same."

"Dear," Mrs. Bates squeezed Anna's hand for a moment. "Marry my son and make him happy for the rest of your lives and that's all the payment you need ever make me. Are we agreed?"

"That's my intention."

"Then I'm satisfied." Mrs. Bates nodded at Emmaline, "Are we ready?"

Emmaline nodded, "Ready."

The door opened and the silence of the sight weighed on Anna. John, dressed in his dress uniform, stood by the podium where a man, who could only be described accurately as the Ancient of Days, held to the wooden support with shaking limbs. Anna's eyebrows rose at the trembling that rocked the podium and, she was sure, heralded the man's swift demise. But as Mrs. Bates led her up the aisle and left her in John's hands, Anna could only focus on him.

Even the words wheezed and hacked in the man's heaving voice, leaving a creaking like a rusty hinge on the air, could not distract her from John's face. His eyes sparkled and shined in the early morning light breaking through the windows. The crinkle at the edge of his eyes, the evidence of his smile tracing its way there, brought matching crinkles to her own. And the breadth of his beaming smile left her breathless to match it. Their hands clung to one another as their fingers tangled. Even the small tremors in their hands as they secured rings where they fit snugly and securely were nothing compared to the emotions threatening to burst from Anna's chest.

And when they kissed… Anna wondered if there was ever a moment more grandly pregnant then John lifting the veil over her head to bring their lips together.

The legal portion of the proceedings passed in a blur for Anna. Mrs. Bates shuffled her to the ladies' room where Emmaline and Mrs. Bates divested Anna of the dress they took such care to wrap her in that morning. Her replacement clothes took their place with familiar comfort as Mrs. Bates handled the dress into a gown bag and Emmaline wrapped the veil in tissue paper.

"And now for breakfast?" Anna touched at her hair in the mirror before turning to the two women. "I'm sure we're all ravenous."

"I'm sure we all are but that's not the plan." Mrs. Bates heft the garment bag and led Emmaline and Anna into the corridor. "You and John'll making use of a day reservation at a hotel near the station. At five o'clock I'll bring Emmaline there and the two of you will take the train north again."

"But you're both here and-"

"And you'll still be related to the both of us when you get back." Mrs. Bates nodded toward where John waited with his witnesses. "You've other business."

"As Emmaline said this morning-"

"We'll not repeat what Emmaline said this morning." Mrs. Bates hushed her, scowling at Emmaline's snigger. "Whether or not there were… relations before the wedding, this act hasn't been consummated and so you're not technically married."

"That paper with my signature on it says otherwise."

"Anna," Mrs. Bates stepped forward, putting her hand to Anna's shoulder. "We're in a rush. You've only a little time with your husband before you'll not see one another for a longer time than seems fair. Take advantage of this time to… get used to one another while you have it."

"And what'll you and Emmaline do?'

"Once we return this dress I'm going to sleep." Mrs. Bates jerked her head toward Emmaline. "She'll probably do the same and then we'll make ourselves useful and busy. Don't fret yourself there. We're very good at being in one another's company."

"I just feel as if we should do something as a family, now that we are one."

"And this wasn't a family activity?" Mrs. Bates nodded toward John. "We'll have time for family outings later."

"If you're sure."

"Dear, if you don't go over there and console your husband he'll probably go to pieces." She released Anna's shoulder, "We'll be fine. Take care of him."

Anna nodded, kissing Mrs. Bates on the cheek and hugging Emmaline. "Our train leaves at six."

"I won't be late." Emmaline giggled and ducked her grandmother's good-natured swat. "We'll be there."

Anna sighed and walked the distance to John, his conversation with the two men ceasing the moment she arrived. "Your mother rather forced me over here."

"I hope it wasn't too arduous a walk." He grinned at her before extending his hand toward the men. "Henry, Tom, thank you again."

"It was our pleasure John." The taller of the two men said before extending a hand to Anna. "And may I wish my congratulations to you, Mrs. Bates?"

"Thank you Commander Talbot." Anna shook his hand and then the shorter of the two men's hands. "And you Lieutenant. I'm sure we would've had to compel someone from the street had you two not been willing to aid us."

"Anything for our future Admiral." Lieutenant Branson winked and then clapped Talbot on the shoulder. "I do believe breakfast is in order, if you're hungry."

"I find being there for a friend in need has made me a bit ravenous." Talbot nodded to them both. "All the happiness in the world to you both."

"Thank you." Anna looped her arm through John's as they watched the men walk out together, following the cold trail of Mrs. Bates and Emmaline. "That just leave us, Captain."

"It does…" John leaned down to whisper in Anna's ear. "Mrs. Bates."

She shivered, "I do like the sound of that."

"So do I." He kissed the side of her neck. "And now, _Mrs. Bates_ … would you like to see our hotel for the day?"

"Feels rather scandalous."

"I couldn't very well do what I have planned in my mother's house, could I?"

Anna shivered again, "And what did you have planned?"

"It's not something that can be told." John kissed her cheek before covering the hand on his arm with his other. "It's got to be shown."

"Do you intend to show me?"

"I do." He walked them to the pavement, wrapping her close to avoid the chill wind that whipped through the street as he hailed a cab. "If you'll indulge me."

"How could I refuse?"

The ride to the hotel seemed forever and yet a moment. They did not speak, only intertwined their hands so Anna could trace the impression of the ring on his finger under his gloves. He did the same to hers, drawing the leather to his lips more than once, and took the same hand to help her out of the cab.

Once he paid, they entered the hotel with nothing but themselves and John inquired after their reservation. The host, eyeing them carefully, only answered as to their room number when Anna casually removed her gloves to show her ring. John took the key with a small frown and led Anna to the stairs.

"Did that man think I was a prostitute?" Anna looked back over her shoulder at the man, still eyeing them from behind the desk. "You had a ring."

"A man with a ring and a prostitute is nothing new." John muttered, holding Anna close to him. "Although, at the risk of insulting the profession of pleasurable women, I don't think many of them enjoy hotels as nice as this one."

"I'd imagine it might make their experiences a bit more enjoyable if they did."

John only shrugged and put the key in the lock to their door, "Fortunately, we'll not have to worry about that."

"No," Anna tugged herself closer to his arm. "I don't think we will."

The room boasted two large windows, catching the morning sun to throw it over the room in shards and shafts of light. Red painted the walls and the bedspread while russet-colored wood accented the windows, the door, and the hints of an en suite. Anna walked her way around the space, familiarizing herself with the wardrobe and the chairs, the small table for whatever meals they might order to the room, a large mirror standing to reflect some of the light from the windows, and the rugs muffling her heels on the dark wood floor.

When she finished her tour, standing by the window, she turned to John. He still stood by the door, only succeeding in closing and locking it as he watched her peruse the space. Anna shuffled in place, smiling at bit nervously at him. "What is it?"

"You are, without doubt, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He left his coat on a chair, crossing the room to take her in his arms. "And I wonder how on earth I ever managed to find you."

"Every time I see you in uniform," Anna's hands smoothed over the arms of his uniform jacket before going to the buttons to loosen them one by one. "I think the exact same thing."

"A woman for a military man?"

"Just this military man." Anna snorted to herself, freeing John from his jacket as he helped her from her coat. "I still remember you striding into my smoking classroom and carrying Emmaline out."

"I think I'd be hard pressed to forget the moment you stood up to me about how careless and foolish I was being in regard to the school." John's fingers worked the buttons of Anna's blouse free to expose her corset to him. "Or how you went to my mother in secret to try and convince her to send Emmaline back because it mattered that much to you."

"I remember how you kissed me after dinner with your family." Anna ran her tongue over her lips, John's cuffs loosening to finally allow her to smooth the shirt off his shoulders. "And after the Autumn Festival."

"I remember the salacious promises you wrote in all your letters." John paused, "And what you wanted to do at the Christmas Ball."

Anna focused on John's undershirt a moment, her hand flattening to press her palm there so his heartbeat could steady her. "One of our lost moments, I think."

"I wish you could wear that dress again." John's voice brought her back, his lips tracing her jaw while his hands freed her from her skirt. "You looked stunning in that shade of blue. It brought out your eyes and made you a goddess."

"What?" Anna turned to him, meeting his lips in quick kiss.

"I wanted to tell you, then, but I missed my chance." John helped her work his trousers open and left his shoes on the floor as they backtracked toward the bed. "It was like you wore water and I wanted to wrap you as closely as it did."

Anna's hands fumbled to work John's undershirt over his head and free his legs of garters and socks while he stripped her stockings and corset. The last layers of material pressed between them as they held to one another at the edge of the bed. She kissed John's chest and then his lips when he bent his head to put their mouths together. When the kiss broke, Anna pressed her forehead to his and just breathed with him a moment.

Her hand, the metal of her ring resting just above his heart, dwarfed in his and their rings clinked together. She closed her eyes, basking in the feel of him, and spoke. "I want something from you."

"Anything." His breath passed her ear and his lips moved over her face and neck, forcing Anna to open her eyes. "I'll give you anything Anna."

"I want…" She forced air into her lungs and raised her head to look at him. "I want you to take me as you would've that night."

John blinked at her, "Anna I…"

"Like I was still wrapped in that dress."

He swallowed, "Are you sure?"

"Very sure." Anna held his hands, "I want nothing to stand between us. Everything I am is yours."

John kissed her then, fiercely and without any of the restraint his uniform suggested at the Registrar's Office. Their hands moved over one another, freeing their bodies from the last vestiges of clothing, to leave them hotly sliding against one another. But John broke the kiss before Anna could comprehend it and he took them away from the bed.

Anna frowned, confused, but followed as John positioned her in front of the large mirror. Her hands almost went to cover herself but his stopped her, bringing her palms to his lips. "Don't hide yourself from me, please."

"I've never-"

"This way you won't doubt it's me." John turned her slowly so she could see them in the mirror. "I don't want you to worry for a moment that it's anyone else."

Anna nodded and reached out, as if to touch their counterparts in the glass, but grabbed for the sturdy frame instead. The piece barely even wobbled in place when her hand wrapped the top of the mirror to hold herself steady as John's lips ran over the line of her shoulders. Their eyes met in the mirror and Anna's knees weakened when she noted John's hungry gaze before his hands moved over her.

In the mirror she watched his hands knead and massage her breasts, chasing her sounds with keen responses as his mouth traced the divots and bumps of her spine to the rise of her ass. His hands held her steady as he sank to his knees behind her and Anna's other hand went to his hair as his shoulders spread her legs apart so he could move his tongue to the spot between her legs.

Unlike in Scotland, Anna could not find the air she needed to give John any directions or express her desires. But he seemed to know them intimately, following her sounds and shuffles with his tongue and fingers until her legs shook. When she went rigid in his grip, her body releasing the tension as his tongue sank into her, Anna's cry of his name signaled his success.

Her fingers could not release from the mirror, as tightly as she held the grooved frame with her whitened knuckles, but it proved a boon as John's body glided up hers. The sensation of him, his fingers continuing their work between her folds as he wrapped his hands around her hips to keep her in place, had her moaning into the heat of his touch. But the sensation of a thick, hot weight at the crease of her ass forced Anna back toward him.

Their eyes met in the mirror again, John keeping her close to run himself along her wet folds, and Anna shivered when she could see it. She closed her eyes, fingers tightening even more over the frame if that were even possible. John's voice wafted at her ear and forced Anna's eyes open.

"Watch us Anna. Watch how you react to me." Her eyes flicked down to note the glisten of her over his skin so they slid slickly against one another. "Watch how I react to you. See what you do to me."

She whimpered when his fingers played over her to send another rippling rush through her body and coat him even further with her. Her fingers joined his and Anna caught the widening smile on his face. "Show me what you want."

"Just you." Anna whispered, turning her head to him, her other hand reaching up to run her fingers over his face while their rings clinked together as she shuddered at the sensation of their hands working together to excite her swollen folds. "I just want you."

John kissed her again. The fiery passion lingered but it served as an undertone now. His other arm wrapped her body, holding her close as he continued his symphony of her sensations, and only broke the kiss to press kisses to her shoulders. With a few more deft strokes, Anna shattered his hands again.

Almost delirious with the boiling of her blood, Anna barely comprehended John pressing into her. Her hand left his face to hold onto the mirror again and it squeaked over the floor as the force of his body thrusting into hers pushed the legs to knock against the wall. But her fingers only tightened to whiten her knuckles and re-accustomed her hand to the grooves of the frame when John set the pace of their joining. One that almost had Anna shutting her eyes to bask in the pleasure rolling through her. But she forced her eyes open to watch him.

To watch them as he drove in and out of her. In Scotland they had the light of the afternoon. The muted, gentle light of a Scottish winter in the highlands. Here the light was the clear, winter light of the city. A light harshened by cold and damp, occasionally blocked by smog and shadow and smoke. But today, of all the days for the heavens to remain clear of choking filth, the light reflected off the mirror and bathed them in white. White that made her skin appear both luminous and stark. Stark enough to set a contrast between their skins and caught the glistening shine of her mark on him when John drew back.

His hands smoothed and shaped her body, guided her other hand in the search for a third round of blinding pleasure while he continued to rut into her. The blistering boil of her blood roiled in her ears while her heart pounded almost as hard in her chest as John did against her. And, for not a single moment, did he break eye contact with her.

Kissing over her shoulders, sucking at her neck, or even pressing his cheek to hers, John did not break his line of sight. Even when Anna's senses reeled with the roll of his hips or the grind of him deep inside her, he did not lose focus. Every step of their pleasurable pilgrimage left her staring into the depths of his eyes to lose herself there. To fall into his secure hold and crumple with keening cries of saturated ecstasy until he joined her.

Their bodies slowed, the shine of sweat matching the harsh heat of their breaths that fogged the mirror before them. John's free hand helped to unlatch Anna's fingers and he kissed over the lines and grooves threatening to forever embed the moment into her skin. He even attempted to help Anna to the bed but she turned in his arms and kissed him instead.

He succumbed to her, his hands loosening for the moment it required for Anna to slip to her knees. The worry in John's eyes immediately replaced with a moan that threw his head back when Anna kissed down his chest to the dip of his hips. She traced the definition of bone and muscle there with experience but could only lay sloppy kisses there as her body still vibrated with exhausted but nervous energy. The kind that left her limbs limp but her brain buzzing.

Her fingers, less dexterous than she preferred, tried to trace his legs while her kisses tempted closer and closer to where he hung waiting for her. Still wet from their foray of a minute ago but not less intimidating than when she first attempted the same maneuver in Scotland. This time she had no moment to tease or tentatively touch. Anna engulfed him in a minute and hummed around the taste of them.

John's fingers dove into her hair, mussing the careful braid Emmaline left there, as Anna's fingers dug into his thighs and ass. She molded herself to him, trying to lick over him until she could find the taste that was uniquely his. A taste she only barely found when John urged her to her feet.

The slight ache to her jaw was nothing compared to the passion in John's kiss now. His hands gripped her hard, held her tightly to him, and lifted her body to rock her against the wall next to the mirror. Anna clung to him and wrapped her legs around his hips to hold herself aloft as his body shunted against her. Their tongues tangled together until lack of air broke their kiss.

His breath blew hot over her skin and Anna writhed against the temptation of him between her legs. John held still all the same, a twitch in his jaw indicating the almost implacable self-control that held him steady, and his chest rose and fell a few times before he spoke. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She left her hold at his arms and shoulders to weave her fingers through his hair and leave him as mussed as she surely was. "I'm wonderful."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Never." Anna pressed herself as close as she could to him, maneuvering to slide down him as far as her position would allow her to go. "Take me John."

He thrust forward and held there, the two of them quivering together before he set the pace again. This time was slower, lengthening his thrusts until they dragged to the very end of her before threatening to leave her completely. Anna only tightened her internal muscles, clinging to him as if she could keep him from escaping her. But his hands held steady to her hips and thighs, spreading her wider so he could go deeper into her.

The pace did not increase as they ground together and Anna whimper at the rise in herself. A rise she recognized as the finish that John always seemed intent on giving her. That peak of pleasure he always tipped her toward. One she wanted to find for herself.

Anna snuck a hand between them, her fingers seeking for those nerves that John knew more intimately than she did, and groaned when she found them. But John's accompanying grunt, when her fingers brushed against him as he drew from her, worked her fingers more carefully. Carefully enough to touch him more intentionally to bring them both over the edge.

Their eyes met before John lowered his lips to her breasts and pressed Anna's shoulders more firmly against the wall. The angle of their bodies provided two points of contact between John's feet and her shoulders to make an odd triangle. A triangle they used to finally crash together over the edge of that summit Anna knew John addicted her to. A summit she never wanted to cross without him.

They slipped apart, John steering them on gelatinous legs to the bed where they crumpled in a heap together. He went to move away from her but Anna held tightly to him, shaking her head as she clung to him. "Not yet."

"Anna-"

"We'll be parted soon." She shook her head against his chest, almost clawing at him to hold closer. "Please… Not yet."

His arms wrapped around her, kissing her forehead as they sighed and settled together. "I'm here Anna. I'm here."

She sighed into his skin, tears trickling from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" John craned back, his thumbs brushing away the tears leaking their way down her face to form tracks there. "For what?"

"Crying." Anna gave a little laugh, sorting themselves better on the bed. "For being so ridiculously emotional and-"

"No." John held her hands, kissing where his ring sat on her finger. "Never apologize for that. Not ever."

"It's just…" Anna swallowed, trying to find the words. "I'm so worried it's all been a dream. That something so perfectly couldn't possibly be ours."

"But it is ours." John assured her, kissing over her hands again before cupping her face in his hands. "It's all ours Anna. For good and proper."

"Bad harvest, bad harvest." Anna muttered and then gave another nervous laugh at John's confused expression. "When farmers have a good year and they fear the wrath of the gods acting in jealousy against them, they say 'bad harvest' to try and turn their luck."

"Knocking on wood?"

"Yes."

"Hm." John nodded, swallowed, and almost shouted, "Bad harvest."

"John!" Anna swatted at him, "We're in a hotel."

"And if anyone didn't hear what we already did then they'll think it's some kind of odd expression one says in the throes of ecstasy." He laughed and kissed her when Anna's face contorted in disgust. "I'm not much for pagan phrases and superstitions myself but I'll say whatever I have to if it means you'll feel better."

"You are, without doubt, one of the sweetest men I've ever met." Anna snuggled closer to him as John laid them back on the bed.

"Don't tell my men. You'll ruin my reputation."

"Your secret's safe with me." Anna sighed against his skin, her fingers taking up their usual perusal of his chest to stroke the hair there.

"And you're safe with me." He kissed her hair again, brushing at it with a hand. "I think I ruined my daughter's fine work."

"I don't think it was meant to be permanent." Anna untangled it with her fingers until her hair hung loosely on her shoulders. "But she did do a fine job."

"She did." John agreed, staring at Anna as they settled on pillows facing one another. "You looked gorgeous today. I wanted to say earlier but I didn't have the words for it."

"It seems you often lose your words when I wear pretty dresses."

"That's what men are supposed to do when confronted by beautiful women." John grinned at her, "Would you like to have breakfast with me?"

"I think I would." Anna stretched on the bed. "After a short rest I think. You've worn me out."

"You? What've you done to me?"

"Oh," Anna feigned a pout, leaning over to kiss John's face. "Have I exhausted you too much _Captain_?"

"Careful," John warned, "Or I might exhaust you further."

"I think that's the idea." Anna kissed him, pulling at his lips until they needed air. "But after I rest and then eat or I'll have no strength at all."

"Are those my orders?"

Anna grinned, "Yes, I rather say they are."

"Then yes ma'am."


	16. Our Daily Duties

Anna intertwined John's fingers with hers when they tracked their way toward her breasts again. "You, sir, are incorrigible."

"I've only got so much time with my wife before she's got to go back to her duties in the north." He kissed behind her ear, "I intended to leave you as satisfied as possible before that happened."

"I've been plenty satisfied." Anna kissed the back of his hand, settling into her pillow and closing her eyes. "Don't worry on that account."

"Is that you telling me you don't want to be more satisfied?"

She cracked her eyelid to view him through the slit. "Is this your attempt at dereliction of duty?"

"Just clarifying my orders." John grinned, kissing down her jaw and tracing her neck as he pulled her closer to him on the bed. Her back fit to his chest and Anna buried her grin in her pillow when the sensation of him resting at the crease of her ass had her shivering again. "I'm more than happy to serve."

"Then I'll assume you had a plan for your service." Anna peeked at him over her shoulder and he kissed her lips.

"I do." He teethed her jaw, shifting to plant kisses over her neck again. "Shall I proceed? I'd hate to think I wasn't fulfilling my orders."

"Proceed as you see fit, Captain."

The spread of his lips over her shoulder incited another shiver in Anna as his hands slid over her. While his mouth moved over her back, John's fingers splayed across her skin. They tweaked her breasts, dabbled when she squirmed with tickles, and finally eased her legs apart to sneak his hand between them.

Anna sighed into his steady motions, almost purring at the confidence in his touches to leave her sensate but supine under his purposeful caress. No part of her did not vibrate with perpetual energy set to lull her into an almost lethargic state. Until his lips crested the rise her ass.

As he moved over her thigh, lifting it over his shoulder, Anna almost squirmed against the bed. She gripped hard at her pillow when his tongue brushed along her. And the sounds she let out as his mouth and teeth and tongue and lips set to work zinging pleasure through her body were the kind that might bother the neighbors. But she did not care about them. There was nothing she cared less about than the neighbors.

John's shoulders kept her legs apart, enduring the tightening of her thighs against his throat as his fingers dug as hard into her flesh as his tongue did between her folds. He sucked and sipped at her, his teeth nipping around her nerves until he ran the tip of his tongue in a line to trace them. And when he sucked deeply between his lips, Anna could do nothing but bury her scream of pleasure into the stuffing of the pillow. But just when Anna thought he might finish her, John drew back.

She went to move but John held her in place and began again. His tongue swept over her, slower, and kept her on the edge of climax until he sank his tongue into her. Anna shuddered, quivered, and broke, huffing her finish into the pillow.

John's care of her did not stop when she finished. Instead his tongue continued to tease and coax her, urging her body into spasms that drove her next climax higher. Moved her from one peak of almost incomprehensible pleasure to the next, and then finally held her there. Dangled her at the rise to her next fall before helping her over the edge.

Anna's breasts pressed into the sheets as each breath forced her chest into the mattress. Trying to fill her lungs left her only barely aware that John moved behind her, settling his arm over her waist to hold her to him, and slotted his body perfectly around hers. And when Anna's body continued to tingle and whisper with the remaining pleasure sweeping through her body, she rubbed herself against John's arousal until he growled in her ear.

"Shall I continue?"

"Finish please." Anna pushed her back against his chest, trying to notch her leg back over John's hip to pull him closer while her fingers tried to grab at his arm. But she only scrabbled for purchase as John's lips tempted her neck. "Don't tease."

"Never." He sighed into her skin, his hand tightening at her hip before bending around to knead her breast. With an adjustment, John drove forward and Anna's eyes closed. "Whatever you want, it's yours."

"Kiss me." The skin of their cheeks ran over one another, rasping slightly on the hint of stubble coming from John's jaw, but their lips met in a fury. One that only stopped when Anna shifted her hips back and down to slip him between her legs. A run of her hips coated his pulsing length with her until Anna moaned at the heat of him. "Finish us."

John entered her, thrusting quickly to meet her end. The hand on her breast continued its manipulations before dropping to her thigh. He pulled back, bringing her leg further around his hip, and adjusted to drive deeper and deeper into her. Anna met each thrust and shunt until her fingers dug back to find John's hair. She tugged him closer, coating his cheek with kisses until their lips could sloppily meet.

When they did, his tongue ravaged her mouth in response to the rutting motions that now slapped her ass to her hips. Even the slick suck of his pistoning drives into her were drown in their noise. A noise that only ceased when John released inside her.

But even as his hips stuttered against her, his body settling in the aftermath of his finish, John's fingers found her swollen folds and the slippery nub that sent her into paroxysm of pleasure. She shuddered and shook against him as their bodies collapsed boneless to the bed. The hints of stubble over her neck rasped and scraped to bring her back from the edge of catatonia to smile at him.

They better controlled their kiss, keeping themselves together as they slipped apart. Anna's fingers reached up to his face, tracing the line of John's jaw, and settled back into the pillows. "You are the most giving husband."

"A man only keeps a wife he keeps happy," John grinned, kissing at Anna. "So my mother always told me."

"Your mother was more than filled with advice on that front." Anna giggled at John's face. "She didn't give me specifics about this but she was sure the best thing I could do would be to enjoy the day with you before we're separated."

"It will be longer than I want." John sighed, "But your contract isn't over until end of June and…"

"As a Navy man, you'll be at sea more often than not."

"I'm sorry it's-"

"John," Anna took his face in her hands. "I knew what I was getting into when I said I wanted to marry you. I assure you, this isn't a surprise to me."

"But…" He ground his teeth together. "You deserve better."

"If anything, we deserve better." Anna nestled closer to him. "Someplace where it'll just be us and Emmaline, maybe your mother, and we leave the world where it is. Forget about it all."

"You wouldn't want to live that way."

Anna shrugged, her arm wrapping John's abdomen in echo of the way his arm held her to him. "I only want you, John. For all the things I thought I wanted, all the dreams I thought I might have, and all the opportunities available in the great, wide world… this is the best thing I could ever have imagined for myself and I didn't even imagine it."

"It's amazing how much we realize we don't know until we know we don't know it." John ran his lips over her forehead, tracing invisible lines there while his fingers stroked through her hair. "We've got a lifetime to find out what we want, you know. And, the best part, we get to figure it out together."

Anna closed her eyes. "How long until we can start on our lifetime?"

"At least a month until I see you again." His fingers continued to run through her hair, relaxing her into a stupor. "But since you're my wife now…"

Anna forced her eyes open, moving to look down at John on the bed. "What belongs at the end of that sentence?"

"The Naval Ball, one of them, is the month after I come up to Downton." John pushed himself to sit up, taking Anna's hands in his. "If you wanted to come with me."

She grinned at him, "Why would I not want to go to another Ball with you?"

"After the last one…" He teethed at his lip. "I just worried that the insinuation of another event like the last…"

"This," Anna put her hands on John's cheeks, keeping him looking at her. "Will be different from that one. If with nothing more than that you're my husband now and you weren't then."

"Then," John kissed both of her palms before using a hand on the mattress to push himself forward to kiss her lips. "Will you go to the Ball with me?"

"I'd be honored." Anna kissed him again but pushed away before he could deepen the kiss. "Now, I'm starved and we need to eat something."

"It's far past time for breakfast." Anna peeked at John over her shoulder, tempted by the supine length of him stretched languidly over the bed. "We'll have to see what they have for lunch."

"Then we'll find lunch." Anna opened the wardrobe and selected the hanging dressing gown. "Do they just keep these for their guests?"

"It is a very high class hotel." The depression of the mattress as Anna turned, tying the dressing gown closed, signaled John moving from the bed. "They have anything you could need in case you forgot it."

"How convenient." Anna put her hands to his chest, accepting his kiss but moving before he could take it further. "Food first, Captain."

"You are a harsh task master." He pouted and crossed the room, snapping a sheet out of place to wrap around himself before pulling the cord.

"How do you expect me to return to my occupation if I've no energy?" Anna sat in the chair at the table, propping her feet on the opposite seat. "I'll be useless to them and then where will we be?"

"With me." John suggested, coming back to her but stopping when a knock came to the door. He held up a finger, "We're not finished."

Anna waved him toward the door and let her elbow rest on the table, her thumb under her chin and her finger at her temple to keep her head aloft as John conversed with the maid on the other side of the door. After a moment he shut the door and turned back to her. The dilation to his pupils had Anna shivering in her seat as he stalked toward her.

"She said it'll take almost an hour to bring what I requested." John stopped just before Anna's chair, moving her feet from the other seat to the floor as he knelt before her, leaving his sheet on the now empty chair. "That gives me some time."

"To do what?" Anna squealed as John spread her legs and supported them on his shoulders. "I've no energy."

"Then let me do the work." John's hands sculpted up her legs, smoothing to her hips and holding there before his motions loosened the tie at her waist to bring the dressing gown apart. "I'll enjoy it and so will you."

"I've no doubt about that." Anna squirmed as he kissed the insides of her thighs. "Aren't you exhausted?"

"Not of you." John's lips ran closer to her as he spread the dressing gown to leave her exposed to him. "Never of you."

John leaned up, lifting onto his knees and kissed at her neck before tracking his lips down her body while his hands set the pace. They coaxed and coerced her until Anna writhed in John's grip before he even reached between her legs. His fingers delved into her while his lips brought red spots over her breasts. Each suck accompanied a twitch of his fingers inside her until Anna gripped at the table for support when John finally left his adoration of her breasts.

But he only used the moment she took for breath to put his mouth on her nerves. She shrieked, her fingers digging into the table as her entire body arced. The arch of her back threw her neck onto the wood of the chair and the jolt of pain bent her body back. The bend forced her legs to tighten around John's shoulders and shoved her center closer to his mouth. A motion John used to his advantage before he quirked his fingers inside her.

The shatter of her climax left anna unprepared when John continued. His tongue dragged over her and the distinctive sucking sounds that echoed over the thud of her blood in her ears had her quivering in his hold. An ache in her fingers was nothing compared to the continued attentions of John's mouth on her until another rolling climax left her sagging in the chair.

Her chest rose and fell, air failing to fill her lungs, and Anna blinked to see John finishing with a long lick at her before taking his fingers into her mouth. In a rush of adrenaline, Anna pushed from the chair. With her legs still over his shoulder, she landed hard on her knees with John letting out a gust of air. But before Anna could shift, John's hands landed on her hips again and pulled her to him.

Anna's hand went to John's hair, practically yanking hair from his scalp, and tugged hard to keep his mouth moving over her. Her other hand snatched for the one at her hip that threatened to mark her with the traces of herself. John's eyes met hers, briefly pulling his focus from her core, and Anna dragged his fingers to her mouth to suck them dry. The darkness in his eyes and the bruising grip of his other hand on her hip brought her back to his lips.

From her raised position, Anna used her hips in the gyrating motions that worked when their bodies were together. Motions that left John helpless to do anything but bring her over the edge again. An edge that had Anna bending back over his body to seek for the air she could not find. When that failed she only shifted back and sheathed herself over John.

The drag of her nails over his chest had him bucking into her. And when a knock sounded at the door they both only paused for a moment. John's hand wrapped the back of Anna's neck and he dragged her lips to his while their bodies rutted and thrust together until they came with barely muffled groans.

She gingerly shifted off him, grabbing for her dressing gown as John blindly snatched at the sheet. The chair almost toppled but he stopped it before it could hit the floor and they both sniggered. Righting the chair, and walking with a slight wobble to his gait, John opened the door to welcome in the waiter pushing a cart.

The man eyed them for a moment, a blush of red over his cheeks, and then coughed before setting the food over the table. They all smiled awkwardly at one another for a moment before the waiter hurried out with a few quid stuck in his pocket by John. His over-eager slam of the door left Anna collapsing into the chair and burying her face in her hands.

"That was mortifying."

"It's not like-"

"He knew exactly what just happened in here John." Anna brought her face up and opened her hand toward him, "You're in a sheet."

John looked down at himself and snorted. "Then he's just jealous."

"Perhaps." Anna turned on her chair and opened the covers on the dishes. "You ordered us quite the feast here."

"I thought a banquet in order." John took the seat next to her, stabbing something with a fork and offering it to her. "It is our wedding, after all."

"True." Anna skidded the meat off the fork with her teeth and chewed a moment. "But we'll never eat all of this."

"We don't have to eat it all." John shrugged, "There is a poor house just two streets over that would take whatever we didn't finish."

"Do you often plan your meals that way?"

"It keeps the world turning when we believe that it costs us nothing to be kind." John smiled at her and then nodded toward the food. "You had mentioned something about being ravenous."

"I believe the only one who said anything about being ravenous was you." Anna nudged him, taking food for herself. "But I believe you wore me quite thin with your… exploits."

"Says the woman who knocked me to the ground." John wiped over his chin and grinned at her before licking it. "I didn't think I'd have the chance to eat you again before we ate real food."

"You are incorrigible." Anna returned to her plate. "You'll make me blush."

"That's good." John grinned at her, "Because making you blush is one of the pleasures of my existence."

"Your life couldn't have been too pleasurable before then."

"You know it wasn't." John met her eyes and Anna's fingers risked tracing over the scars on his back for a second. "But it's been markedly brighter since I met you. Each day holds just a bit more promise to it."

"And it didn't before?"

"While my mother and Emmaline were the lights of my life," John took Anna's hands. "You are, perhaps, the brightest light of them all."

"Perhaps?"

"If I say 'without a doubt' the you might wonder about my commitment to my mother and child." John kissed her. "Now eat, I'm sure there are other things I can think of doing to you before we separate that'll leave you famished again."

"What if…" Anna dragged the tines of her fork over her plate for a moment before reaching for something. "What if I had something?"

John paused, his spoon just above a small bowl of custard. "You have something in mind?"

"You did advise me to know myself so that, the next time, I'd know what I wanted." Anna gave a little shrug, shivering at the glint she recognized in John's eyes and the indicative rise in the sheet about his waist. "And while that was only a few days ago, I've given some thought to it."

"And what conclusions did you reach at the end of those thoughts?"

"I want…" Anna rounded her fork along the edges of her plate, sucking it clean before dropping it onto the ceramic. "I want to feel unleashed. To feel free and… primal? Not animalistic but unhindered."

"And we've not been that so far?"

"I'll admit," Anna flicked her gaze toward the mirror, "I'll never look at a standing mirror in the same way again but I need to feel unhindered on my own terms. To feel I can ask for these things without feeling awkward."

"Did you feel awkward a moment ago?" John jerked his head toward the floor. "You seemed very confident about what you wanted there."

"I want to feel that way all the time." Anna flailed for the words before nodding at John. "Like you do."

John set down his utensils and laughed into his napkin before setting it aside to take a breath. "Anna, you're what unhinders me. You're what gives me that… unfettered desire. Without you…"

He shook his head and Anna's mouth dropped open before she could even find words to fill it. "I do?"

"I didn't feel that way before you." John shuddered, "Emmaline might've told you about… Vera and I."

"She mentioned a rumor about your orientation based on the circulating belief that you only slept with your wife to have a child and then never did again."

"It's not far from the truth." John winced, "Vera and I… Our relationship was built on the belief that we were defying everything but standing against the world only means so much when you realize how little you've got in common. Or how little you truly want to have in common with one another."

"And you never…"

"What Vera and I did, in the bedroom, when we were first married was passionate, fiery, and devoid of all skill. What I do with you…" John shook his head, "There are no words for what I feel when I'm with you."

Anna took his hand, "You make me feel like I'm the only woman in the world."

"The only woman for me." John bent to kiss her hand, "And I might have a solution for your desire to feel… unhindered."

"Really?" Anna sat back, "And what might you suggest?"

"It's a position I'm sure you, as a farm girl, would find particularly familiar."

Anna frowned and then her eyes widened. "We can?"

"You were the one holding onto the mirror so hard earlier that it left groves of your hand so tell me," John leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Do you think it's possible?"

Swallowing hard, the familiar thud in her chest bringing the beat back to her blood. "I think you'll show me how it is."

"Then," John stood, extending her his hand, "If you'd be so inclined, we could try it now."

Anna bit at her lip before nodding. "I think I'd like that."

"Good." John helped her stand with one hand and Anna let out a gasp when his other hand moved immediately between her legs. "And you're still wet. That'll make it easier."

"Can you…" Anna closed her eyes, the heat in her face almost stopping her desire to express her thoughts. "Can you speak to me? As you do it. I want-"

"To know it's me?" Anna nodded, opening her eyes as John brought his mouth to hers, tugging her slightly swollen lips back to their excited state. "Of course."

He spun out the next kiss so long Anna was sure the dark spots at the corner of her vision would be permanent. But it also disguised when he removed her dressing gown and his sheet. And helped her reach the moment he put the backs of her knees against the bed without nerves.

John broke the kiss and offered Anna his hand. "You'll want to be on your knees for this. Hold your weight with your hands."

Anna took a breath and went to move but John's hand on her shoulder gave her pause. "What?"

"If you're too nervous we could-"

"No," Anna shook her head and seized John's face to kiss him hard. "I want this and I want you to do this for me. I want no secrets from you."

"Never." John agreed and helped her onto the bed, his hands caressing her ass when his hands could reach it. "Do you trust me, Anna?"

"Yes." Anna breathed, looking back at John over her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you." His hands held firm at her ass, kneading the flesh, "You're so beautiful. You do realize how gorgeous you are, yes?"

There was not even a moment to nod before John surged forward and took her in one thrust. Anna's forehead went to the bed as she groaned. John's hands held her firmly but steadily, running over her as if waiting for the signal to continue. Anna nodded and raised her head to see John in the mirror. Their eyes met and John drew back to thrust forward again.

The piston of his hips, as John set a steady rhythm that rocked the bed, left Anna digging her knees into the bedclothes and mattress. His voice, running over her skin as he soaked her back with kisses and licks, rippled over Anna's skin to leave her writhing in his hold. Promises of pleasure, pleas of his own desires, and the gentle coos of compliments that had Anna shuddered to a finish that came the moment John's fingers touched her nerves.

He followed shortly afterward, their eyes still holding to one another in the mirror before John let them both fall satiated on the bed. She curled into his arms, adjusting in their perpendicular pose on the bed, to wrap around him. The air from their breath disturbed her hair and his until they drew and released in sync.

"I don't think I can move." Anna whispered, kissing the skin closest to her lips and unable to move any further.

"That's what happens when you want to experience nature." John chuckled, kissing the top of her head and then her cheek. "It's an adventure."

"Always." Anna let her fingers draw down his chest, scratching lightly with her nails. "Thank you John."

"You don't need to thank me Anna." His fingers drew down her cheek. "Not for anything ever again."

"But I will all the same." She sighed and turned her head to the food. "Think we'll manage to eat a bit more before we leave the remains for the poor?"

"I think we should. Train food is horrible."

Anna closed her eyes, resting her forehead on his chest. "I don't want to leave you. Not now, not ever."

"Nor I you but," John brought her chin up and Anna opened her eyes. "We've both got commitments to keep."

"I know." Anna sighed, "Just… Hold me for a few minutes more."

"Until the end of time, if need be." John cuddled her closer. "Forever."

"For good and proper."


	17. Fireside Kisses

Emmaline and Anna took the train north, arriving well enough into the night that finding a cab to take them to the school almost cost them a pretty penny. But Anna haggled the man down and they reached the doors of the school before Mrs. Hughes had closed them for the night. But before either of them could attempt to sneak off to their rooms as quietly as possible, they met the phalanx of a pursed-lipped Ms. O'Brien, an affronted Mr. Carson, a shuffling police sergeant, a flustered Mrs. Hughes, and a frustrated looking Mary with a furrow to her brow that boded well for none of those standing within ten feet of her scowl.

Anna swallowed and put a hand to Emmaline's arm. "You'd best go upstairs. I'd hazard this greeting party is for me."

"Ms. Bates is welcome to explain why, when she was back on school grounds, she whisked away to London with you for two days without permission."

"With all due respect, Ms. O'Brien, as term hadn't started I didn't need permission to leave." Emmaline's voice, soft and with a slight tremor, held up against the eyebrows that skyrocketed at the dared impertinence of seeking an excuse instead of groveling for mercy. "And since I'm back before term I don't see the harm in my leaving and returning."

"Do you care to explain why you vanished from the campus with Ms. Smith so soon after the attack?"

Emmaline frowned, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Did you take part in Ms. Smith's attack on Mr. Green?"

Anna noted the red flush to Emmaline's cheeks and took hold of one of the girl's hands before she spoke. "You don't have to answer that Emmaline. It's ridiculous to even suggest it and worse to nurse the notion that Ms. Bates here had anything to do with what happened to Mr. Green. She was already in her room."

"Then why flee the scene with her?" The police sergeant spoke up but Anna directed her next comments to Mrs. Hughes.

"Didn't you tell them I'd be back? Tell them what happened?"

"I told them what I knew about it. And…" Mrs. Hughes teethed at her lip, "I may've intimated about the events at the Christmas Ball where Mr. Green's unsolicited actions occurred."

Anna held herself straighter and faced the sergeant. "I didn't 'flee the scene' with Ms. Bates. I asked that she accompany me to London so we could go see her father. He's a Captain with the Navy and I needed his advice."

"I'm sure we've all heard enough about the 'advice' you've sought from Captain Bates." Ms. O'Brien held up the pile of letters that Anna recognized as her own. "And I'm sure that his superior officers will be interested in that same information. It's an embarrassment to the both of you that-"

"You went through my room while I was away?" Anna ground her teeth and paused, swallowing. "Did Mr. Green tell you where I put my letters? Because he rifled through my room as well."

Ms. O'Brien only paused a moment before recovering herself. "Anything on this property is subject to search and seizure if we've reason to believe it could negatively affect our students."

"Unfortunately, Ms. Smith," The deep voice drew Anna's attentions to Mr. Carson. "Ms. O'Brien is correct. Her prerogative, for the protection and reputation of this school, is paramount. That would make it within her rights to search through your rooms, should it be deemed necessary."

"And why was it deemed necessary?" Emmaline's voice cut through before Anna could speak, the hint of rage in the girl's voice betrayed by the quiver in her whole body. "What could that horrible man have to say that you'd believe after he attacked my stepmother for the second time?"

"Stepmother?" Mary finally spoke, her frustration turning to shock at the drop of her elongated jaw. "Anna what've you done?"

Anna removed her glove and brought up her left hand for all present to see the ring before addressing Ms. O'Brien. "Those letters are the correspondence between two married individuals and, therefore, the contents aren't as inappropriate at you might think."

"They were written before you hastily tied whatever knot put that dull gold on your finger." Ms. O'Brien's voice broke through the moment of reverie and Anna removed her other glove to distract herself. "As such, your conduct as an instructor at this school-"

"Has been admirable and above reproach." Mary interrupted Ms. O'Brien, leaving the woman with another half-finished sentence and flustering her further. "I'm sure you'd agree and that given the circumstances this school will already face once the… facts, about Mr. Green's previous tenure and his actions here are released to the public we'll be under enough scrutiny."

"Mrs. Crawley-"

"I'll remind you, Ms. O'Brien, that I'm _Lady_." Mary waited a moment for Ms. O'Brien to deflate and drop her gaze. "And as a member of the school board and overall management of this establishment, it's in our best interests not to create a martyr out of Ms. Smith… I mean, _Mrs. Bates_."

"I quite agree." Mr. Carson's chest puffed out a bit, his hands going behind his back as if an officer giving commands to his men. "We've got far too many parents about to be concerned over their daughters' welfare. How will we console them if our response is to kick Ms. Sm-… I'm sorry, Mrs. Bates, out the door as well?"

Ms. O'Brien's cheek twitched and her face pursed even further but she regained herself and let out a strangled kind of groan without opening her mouth. When she did, Anna swore she spoke without moving her lips. "If that's the school board's decision on the matter."

Mary leaned around to see Mr. Carson. "Is there any reason to think it's not, Mr. Carson?"

"I've no feelings to the contrary, milady." Mr. Carson bowed his head to her and turned to the sergeant. "Sergeant Willis, I believe that any questions you have for Miss… Mrs. Bates, can be taken care of tomorrow. It's late tonight and they've already made such a long trip today."

"Seeing as I'm a bit confused about the sequence of events myself, I don't disagree with that assessment." Sergeant Willis repositioned his hat under his arm and nodded to all the ladies present. "Good evening to all and sorry to've troubled you so late in the night."

Mr. Carson escorted him to the door and Mrs. Hughes cut across to take Emmaline's arm. "I think, dear, it's best if you get upstairs. The day waits for no man or woman and you've got a busy term starting tomorrow."

With only Mary, Ms. O'Brien, and Anna left in the foyer of the school, the odds were not evenly stacked. Anna took a breath and extended a hand toward Ms. O'Brien but the other woman only snorted at it. "I'll not be shaking it and calling 'truce', if that's what you're about."

"I was hoping you'd hand me back my letters, actually." Anna waited and immediately curled her fingers around the weight of the paper when it rested in her hand. "I don't think there'll be a truce between you and I, Ms. O'Brien."

"Are you preparing to get your knives out of their box, Ms. Sharp?"

"I'm prepared to offer you a solution to the problem you believe me to be." Anna took a breath, "I'll not be extending my contract after the end of this term. Once the year ends and all the girls go home, so will I. Whatever reputation you think I've garnered for myself or whatever black cloud you believe I brought to hang over this school, it goes with me in a few months."

"Is that your final word on the matter?"

"I've no intention of outstaying my welcome and considering the way my time here has gone, I'm not inclined to give myself any more bad feelings than I've obviously given you." Anna risked a step closer and lowered her voice. "But any threats against my husband, in any way, and I promise that when you do hear the last of me, you'll regret whatever it is you did to bring me to that point."

Ms. O'Brien had the decency to shudder slightly before drawing herself up again. "Then I do hope it never comes to that."

"So do I." Anna nodded at her, "Goodnight Ms. O'Brien."

The woman gave the quickest jerk of her head, almost a knee-jerk reaction, and left Anna and Mary in the foyer. Anna faced the other woman, preparing to cringe and apologize but Mary held up a hand to stop her. "If you hadn't offered it yourself, I would've suggested it. We both know that this year hasn't exactly gone as planned for you."

Anna let out the breath she did not realize she held. "I know we both wanted this to be a success and to find some kind of-"

"Don't go dismissing the work you've already done or the work you're going to do yet." Mary waved her hand in a circle, temporarily drawing Anna's eyes to the ceiling and architecture about them. "You've left an indelible mark here and, whether for a year or ten, that's something. Don't discount it yet."

"Even if the mark I've left is a black one?"

"We all live in varying shades of gray, Anna." Mary sighed, "I will be sorry you're going but you're right, it's for the best."

"I think you had a plan, where I'm concerned, in regards to this place." Anna made a gesture of her own and Mary nodded.

"I was hoping that one day I'd run the Board and you'd run this place and we'd be an unstoppable force."

"Always the big dreamer."

"Your dreams were always more personal." Mary reached out, plucking at Anna's hand to examine the ring. "It suits you."

"The ring?"

"Marriage to Captain Bates." Mary released Anna's hand. "You're… I won't say 'two peas in a pod' or anything but you're very much alike. Still waters run deep and all that I think."

"He's a wonderful man."

"I know my father thinks very highly of him and since most of the people my father meets only get an eyeroll or a glare, that's saying something." Mary yawned, trying in vain to cover her mouth with her hand. "I'm exhausted."

"You're exhausted?"

"I've spent the last two days trying to rectify the whole situation." Mary flapped her hand toward the space where the rest of the phalanx had stood. "This intervention was my idea."

"You always were one to confront the matter head on."

"It works." Mary defended, sniffing for a moment. "But I'd say, if you were married just this morning, you've got to be more tired than I am."

Anna nodded, a little smile quirking the edge of her mouth. "There's an exquisiteness to my exhaustion."

"And how was your _getting to know one another_ party?"

"We got used to one another just fine." Anna held herself taller. "And, if you don't mind, I think I'll turn in as well. I've got classes to teach tomorrow."

"No rest for the wicked."

"None at all."

But they were not as wicked as they believed. News of Mr. Green's rather abrupt fall from grace and his immediate removal from the school swirled and simmered with the other rumors he spread about the Christmas Ball. When they proved incongruous, people argued about the validity of one over the other until the entire town was muddled and confused regarding the truth of the matter. That is, until someone published the chain of events in the paper.

Anna strongly suspected Mary's hand in the article, given the vague details regarding Anna's involvement in the events, and even confirmed it when a copy of the article landed on her desk. An article she almost clung to like a lifeline when a veritable army of questions came at her from a riot of policemen. From Sergeant Willis's good-natured interrogation to the harsh quizzing and screw-turning of London police taking over the matter from the 'yokels in Yorkshire'. She recited her story to them so many times she could say it in her sleep and often found her dreams turned to nightmares with a never-ending line of doors and starkly lit rooms holding an endless barrage of questioners plaguing her with the same battery of interrogatives until Anna woke up in tears of exhaustion.

Eventually they petered out, satisfied or merely temporarily satiated by what she could provide, and the quiet of the school returned. Returned so quickly that Anna blinked to find herself confronting the idea of Spring. The girls had a few days of holiday for Easter and Anna remembered John's promise. One confirmed by the arrival of a letter with only the words: _Be waiting._ Anna could only guess, with furtive glances to make sure no one saw the red in her cheeks, what he meant.

She prayed it meant what she hoped it did.

It proved a great distraction, during the days before the Easter holiday, but Anna maintained her composure as well as she could. Especially during her teaching period. The girls, on the whole, had kept to themselves in regards to the rumors about their teacher but there were still some that refused to meet her eyes now. A few complimented her on the ring, congratulated her on her change of status, and others who whispered a few words Anna worked hard to forget. Worked hard by throwing herself into her work and preparing her students for the end of term.

On the last day before the holidays, the bell rang with its familiar, shrill shriek and Anna closed the book in her hand. "Remember, your essays are due this afternoon by four, no exceptions. And your exams about the Beor Wars will be given back to you in exchange. And, for those of you who might spare a thought for it, we need to think of the theme for our end of term play. Otherwise, enjoy your holidays."

A few of the girls giggled in excitement, others returned the wish for her holidays, and the rest packed up their things as quickly as possible to give themselves as much time as they could for the holidays. While they left the room, Anna twisted the ring on her finger as she laid the book down on her desk before glancing up to catch Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting. "Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting, if you would remain behind a moment."

Both of them froze slightly at their desks and all the other girls ducked their head furtively in an attempt to meet neither their eyes nor Anna's as they hurried out of the room. The gallows walk of the two girls almost made Anna laugh and weep with pity in alternative heartbeats before they stopped at her desk. Anna waited until the last of the other girls left the room before addressing them. "This is not as horrible as you're currently imagining."

"I don't know Ma'am," Ms. Bunting ventured first, Ms. Braithwaite choosing instead to direct her eyes anywhere but at Anna. "I've got a pretty good imagination."

"Which is why I've asked to speak with you both." Anna gestured back toward the blackboard, holding the ideas for the end of term play. "I was hoping I could assign the two of you to write the script for this year's play."

Both girls froze, partly in shock and partly in whatever other emotions fought for space on their faces. Ms. Bunting, again, spoke first. "The school's never performed an original work Ma'am."

"Then it's time to start." Anna reached into a drawer and extracted a few papers to spread on her desk. "You both collaborated on your study of Byron and Shelley."

"Ma'am we-"

Anna held up a hand to stop Ms. Bunting, "It wasn't a bad thing. You both made very good points that I think you arrived at through discussion with each other. That's the kind of collaboration I want in this year's play."

"But we've no ideas." Ms. Braithwaite finally spoke and Anna turned to her. "If you're just having us on so you can get revenge or-"

"Ms. Braithwaite, I think you've got a very wrong opinion of me." Anna smiled at both girls before tugging her bottom lip with her teeth a moment. "I know we've not had the greatest of relationships but I know there's talent in the both of you. You're both very intelligent and very quick. More than that, despite your past indiscretions and belligerent behavior, I believe you've sincere desires to succeed. This, in my opinion, is a great chance for you to do just that."

The girls looked at one another before Ms. Braithwaite spoke. "You're trusting us to write a play?"

"Yes. I'll be the director and, once you've got a draft you like, you bring it to me and we work together. We'll work with the girls designing the sets, the ones doing the costumes, and you'll help me pick the girls to perform it." Anna studied them a moment. "I've faith in the both of you to do this, and to do it well."

Ms. Bunting shifted her jaw before speaking again, "What's our topic?"

"It's summer," Anna pushed up from her desk, taking the papers and handing them back to the girls. "Think of something you feel fits the out of doors. The stage'll be outside and we can put it anywhere on the grounds we like."

Ms. Braithwaite spoke faster than Anna realized. " _The Lady of Shalott_."

"I'm sorry?"

The girl swallowed, "The poem, by Tennyson. I think we could do something with that. Like a tableau with a single narrator. It'd cut down on the spoken parts and leave the actors to pantomime as they see fit."

"It'd give them a chance to do more with the art." Ms. Bunting nodded at Ms. Braithwaite, "And if we put the stage near the little creek then we could have a boat. They'd carry her body to the little boat and let her float aways down the river. Let the audience really think she'd floated away."

Anna smiled, "I knew I picked the right two for this. Write something up and we'll start after the holidays. Agreed?" They nodded and Anna jerked her head toward the door. "Best get on."

They left her office and Anna blew out a puff of air before sitting back down. A gentle knock at the door had Anna turning in her seat, hand on the back of her chair, to smile at Emmaline. "Why aren't you frolicking somewhere, enjoying the sunshine like the rest of the girls?"

"I could ask the same of you." Emmaline edged into the room and shuffled the books in her arms to carefully slide a piece of paper loose to hand to her. "But I've a feeling I already know it's because of those essays."

"Yes." Anna reached into a stack of other papers to exchange the one in Emmaline's hand for the one from the desk. "You're the first of many, I hope."

"Will you be here long?" Emmaline dug into her pocket and handed a note to Anna. "Grandmama wants us all for dinner at her hotel tonight. She and Papa are supposed to be coming up on the train together."

" _Supposed to_?"

Emmaline shrugged, "They don't always align their schedules so it's possible they're on different trains. Papa can't always say where he's coming from or what time… for security reasons."

"Well," Anna tucked the note into Emmaline's pocket so as not to disturb the pile of books. "We've a week of holidays with them so I'm excited."

"It'll be our first holiday as a real family." Emmaline shivered, "And after everything we've gone through lately…"

Anna shook her head. "Don't worry about any of that."

"Aren't you worried about what the police in London'll find?"

"I trust in a system that will render its verdict as it sees fit." Anna shrugged, "Regardless of what they decide Mr. Green did or didn't do, he's not in my life anymore and I've already moved on."

"You can just forget it all? Just like that?"

Anna stopped, chewing the inside of her cheek a moment before shaking her head. "It's not that I've moved on, Emmaline. I'll always remember what he did, how it affected me, and what it cost. But it's… It's not about him. It's about me and my healing and, as far as I'm concerned, I don't need to carry the weight he represents. I can let that go and move on."

"Would you want him in prison?"

"If that's where the QB puts him, I'll do whatever I can to help. If it's not then…" Anna managed a little smile, "I'm sure your father will more than protect us both from Mr. Green, should he be foolish enough to attempt to meet us again."

Emmaline took a deep breath and nodded. "Then I'll go back a bag. Grandmama doesn't want me staying at the school over the holiday and she'll insist I share her room at the hotel."

"I'll assume your father's already made arrangements."

"He's got a room there to." Emmaline frowned, "Didn't he write you?"

"He did but he didn't write about those details." Anna swallowed, willing her face not to flush. "I'll assume he is more used to your grandmother giving all the instructions where the holidays are concerned."

"She does like to have her way." Emmaline juggled her books. "I'll see you this evening then. No one is late to dinner with my grandmother."

"And given the relatively short time I've been in your family, I'd hate to disappoint her already." Anna waved Emmaline to the door. "Go on. I won't be late."

Emmaline scurried off and, over the course of the afternoon, the girls exchanged their essays for their exams. Between their steady but inconsistent stream, Anna managed to start grading a few of the essays, tucking the completed ones away in a drawer. And when the last bell of the day broke her reverie she finished marking the one she had and took the remainder to slip into her case. The leather creaked slightly, cracking at the edges, and Anna ran her hand over it before going to pull the strap to her shoulder just as someone knocked on the doorjamb.

"I'm sorry but I said by the bell and-" Anna's mouth dropped open when she saw John, dressed resplendently in a black suit, standing in the doorway. She could not even manage words so only threw herself into his arms to hug him to her.

The clutch of their embrace held for a moment until Anna wondered if the tingling at the edges of her fingers was the loss of sensation. She released him with reluctance but John just stepped into the room, closing the door to lock it behind him. Anna's eyebrows rose but John only smiled and pulled her close.

"I didn't want anyone to see."

"See what?"

"If I do this." John dipped his head and their lips met gently. He teased at her mouth until she risked a tongue to sweep his bottom lip. That broke their hold and John put his forehead to hers. "Wouldn't want to give them ideas."

"I'm sure," Anna put her hands to John's chest, pushing slightly away. "Some of these girls have already kissed a boy or two."

"I'm not a boy, Anna." John's hands held at the base of her back and Anna let out a gasp when one hand sculpted the curve of her buttocks to hold as firmly there as he did at her back so their bodies melded together. So she could register the weight of him resting and thickening against her stomach. "I don't want them thinking they're ready for this yet."

"And what," Anna swallowed, the scratching dryness overtaking her mouth distracting her, "Would they not be ready for?"

"For me to put you on that desk, lay you back while I dragged your chair forward to sit in it while I put my mouth somewhere other than yours." John's voice in her ear had Anna's entire body quivering and her knees threatening weakness. "But I'll leave that choice up to you."

"I-" Anna twisted her head to see the windows, grateful her classroom occupied a back corner of the school. "Yes. Yes please."

"Good." John hefted Anna onto her mostly clear desk and set her on the edge of it before moving his hands to gently caress her throat. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you." Anna's hands splayed in John's jacket, pushing to take it from his shoulders and drop into a heap on her chair. "How were the rest of the interviews and your position and-"

John put a finger to Anna's lips. "There's time for that later, I promise." He kissed at her neck, Anna's eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of his lips moving with a hint of moisture over her skin. "For now, I just want you to feel."

Anna put her hands on the edge of the desk as John continued his sensual torture of the skin he could reach on her before helping Anna lay back on the desk. A slight squeak from the wood had them both pausing but John arranged his jacket on the chair and sat in it when the desk made no more complaints. Her feet, still in her boots, clacked on the wooden arms of the chair but John used the wide armrests to spread Anna's skirt. A skirt he then rolled to her waist so he could devote his attentions to her legs.

She would have sworn there was no patch of skin from her stockings to her knickers that did not bear the trace of his lips. And when his fingers slipped under the edge of her knickers, the tantalizing sensation of his calloused fingers where her body already dampened in response to his ministrations giving Anna shivers, all shecould do was raise herself up enough to allow him to slip them down her legs. Lifting one foot and then the other, John removed her knickers and tucked them to the side before bringing his mouth to the untouched skin before him.

Her fingers clutched at the edge of the desk when he delicately kissed at her nerves. Delicate prodding with his tongue against the fizzing bundle had Anna arching her back in an attempt to tempt him with more of her. The press of her shoulders into the wood of the desk rubbed awkwardly but Anna could only sigh in relief when John's hands settled at her waist and ass to hold her securely as he latched his tongue around the nub.

Soft sucking sounds echoed in the room. Not loud enough that anyone outside the thick door would hear anything but loud enough for Anna to confuse if the sighs and keens were really hers. She dared a look between her legs and caught sight of John's tongue, flattened as he finished a long stroke of it over her, and she groaned back into the desk.

John's tongue was the only point of reference she had. The determined slide of it through her folds, its persistent drive into her channel, and the suckling swirl of it at her nerves. His trade between broad strokes that covered her from one end to the other and more focused sucks at her folds left Anna writhing on the desk. And at the point when he dragged and coerced her pleasure to its very limit, John nipped with just enough pressure to leave Anna shaking through her climax.

Her heartbeat thudded militarily against her chest while the blood rushed in her ears. Every part of her body tingled and fizzled with pleasure while she tried to take a basic inventory of her extremities. But all Anna could comprehend was John attempting to help her sit up.

Tugging back on his hand, Anna forced John to catch himself on the desk. She surged up to take his lips, her free hand holding at his chin for leverage while her other hand kept his trapped on the surface of the desk, and moaned into the caverns of his mouth when she tasted herself there. John broke the kiss, his chest pressing into hers as he breathed, and swallowed to form words.

"What do you want Anna?"

"You." Anna untangled her fingers from his hand and used her knees on his hips to hold him steady while she grabbed his belt to force his thighs to hit the desk. "I want you, right now."

He grinned and took her mouth, tangling with her tenacious tongue as their fingers struggled together to free him from his trousers and pants. The rasp of material against his skin and the knock of his belt against the desk had them giggling together but when he pressed against her, Anna only whimpered and shivered. They took the moment, John running himself along her as if to familiarize themselves with the action they knew so well so long ago, and then he thrust forward.

The desk squeaked again but it was too late. Too late as Anna clutched at John's shirt and tie, threatening to strangle him with her grip while her legs spread wider and rose higher to force John farther inside her. Each pounding plunge threatened to drive the air from her lungs but Anna only curled her fingers into his shirt and focused on the whitening skin there.

One of John's hands spread on the desk, sliding his splayed fingers to the edge behind her while the other gripped her hip so hard Anna swore he clung to her bone. But it gave the proper fulcrum to his pistoning hips and the back of Anna's head thudded on the desk. The slick sucking sounds of their bodies moving together, the occasional grunts that only escaped John's throat in half-strangled groans, and then steady huffing sighs from Anna set the symphony of sound that then found them both scrabbling to clutch at one another when they came.

John's forehead handed on Anna's shoulder and her trembling legs sought blindly for the chair as a way to ground her floating body. Her fingers, shaking with residual tremors, soothed at the back of John's neck as she tried to blink the haze from her eyes. When their chests pressed less harshly against one another in the search for air to fill starved lungs, John's lips landed on Anna's neck, cheek, forehead, and then lips as he rose.

"Is there anything else you want, Mrs. Bates?"

"Just you," Anna kissed him slowly, losing herself in the simple pleasure of kissing him while her body still twitched itself back to life. "Only you."

"Well then." John gave her one last kiss before pulling back and helping Anna sit up on the edge of the desk. "I'd best give you the best of the holidays."

"You know," Anna watched as John sat back in her chair, checking his clothing as he tried to arrange himself. "Emmaline said her grandmother wrote her an itinerary for the holidays and seemed surprised you didn't write one for me."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"She was also under the impression you'd be coming up with your mother this evening."

"Had I been in London, I would've." John put his hands on his knees, his trousers not quite closed. "I was in Liverpool and decided to come earlier. Spend some time alone with you."

"Your daughter might feel a bit left out."

"I've a week to spend with the three most important women in my life." John tipped forward, kissing Anna's exposed knee. "I'll make sure to divide my time equally. Don't worry, no one will feel left out."

Anna smiled and then frowned, "Liverpool?"

"That's where…" John paused and then grinned. "You're looking at the newly promoted Rear Admiral of the British Navy. I'll be stationed in Liverpool for the moment but that could change within the year."

Anna practically flung herself into his lap to hug him tightly again. John took her into his arms, laughing at her exuberance. "I think I preferred your response to the promotion more than the promotion."

"Then," Anna kissed his cheek, "You'll enjoy another response."

"What other response?" John's brow furrowed in confusion and then his mouth dropped open slightly when Anna slid to her knees between his legs and urged them more open so she could pull his trousers and pants down to his ankles. "Anna… You don't-"

"Nonsense." Anna's hands smoothed over his hips, holding there for a moment as she repositioned to open his shirt and flip his tie over his shoulder. "An accomplishment like that deserves proper congratulations."

With his shirt open Anna could spread her fingers and trace down his chest. Her fingers caught and tripped down the little scars and cuts on his skin and she kissed each one before gliding her hands to his rising length. John bit his lip, groaning in a hum that made his Adam's apple vibrate. Anna only kissed his neck until John calmed under the steady pressure and attention of her hands on him.

"I've thought about what I'd do when I had you close again." She whispered, her thumb caressing over his head to spread the drop of moisture there until John whimpered. "I've dreamed of sleeping wrapped in your arms like we did in Scotland. Or for those few hours we shared in London."

Anna's teeth grazed at his throat and collar while her hands experimented with sliding squeezes until she could trace the origin of one of his shivers from a single motion. "I've wondered how long I'd have to act prim and proper until I could strip you naked and have my way with you. How long until you would take me."

"Not… Not appropriate for a lady to think like that." John huffed and Anna was tempted to lick the beads of sweat threatening at his forehead but maintained her course in the trace of her tongue down his chest.

"Then it's a good thing I'm not a lady." She grinned against his skin, nipping at his nipples for a moment before shifting to follow the line of his ribs. "And that I never pretended to be one."

With John's chest explored to her satisfaction and his knuckles going white on the arms of the chair, Anna kissed the tip of him. He jerked slightly and then moaned as Anna's tongue circled him before teasing at the slit. She explored it for a moment and then wrapped her lips around him.

Her knees dug into the floor and her fingers left bruises to match those that served as his gift to her earlier on his hips when he jerked. Anna waited for John to settle and worked them both toward a rhythm. One that sent the wheels on her chair shifting until the back of it hit the wall and Anna paused when John's skull threatened a crack against the blackboard. Before she could even more to address him, one of John's hands tangled in her hair and he urged her back to him.

"Don't stop. Please don't." The begging note in his voice forced Anna's thighs together to try and provide rudimentary friction while her hands kept their sliding grip over his thickening girth.

She took him in her mouth again, using her teeth, tongue, and the vacuum of her lips to increase sensations until John muttered unintelligible words like a prayer above her head. When her fingers dared to caress his hanging sack John's hands left the arms rests and he urged her up. Leaving a final kiss on him, Anna stood to drag her skirt to her hips and slip her legs through the spaces of the chair arms to properly mount John before sinking down his length until their hips bumped.

They held still again, relishing the sensations that came from their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces lost and finally restored. Anna shifted slightly, rocking them on the creaking wheels of the chair, and John groaned. His head lunged forward to attack Anna's neck again and she moved a hand to the back of his head to hold him steady as their bodies tried to find the rhythm they needed in the confines of their new circumstances.

"I wish I could see you." He murmured into her skin and Anna grabbed at her skirt, throwing as much of the fabric behind her as she could manage to better roll and rock into John's thrusting hips.

"I'm right here." Anna frowned, almost turning to see him but John's lips landed on hers too fast for her to even meet his eyes.

"Not that." He whispered, pressing their foreheads together while his fingers tightened their grip on her hips to keep her close as he drove deeper into her, almost knocking her thighs against the top of the chair arms.

"I don't understand."

"I want to see all of you." The brush of his breath against her ear had Anna closing her eyes, as if trying to imagine the story he was about to tell her. "From the skin that blends into your hair to the lovely curls between your legs. I want to see the difference between the red of your lips when they're swollen from kisses to how my kisses and sucks on your skin turn it red. From the pink blush of your nipples to the red of your skin where we meet when it swells for me."

"Don't stop." Anna's body bucked helpless against him, almost bouncing in her search for friction and satisfaction."

"That glisten you leave on me… I want to see that Anna."

"Yes." Her fingers dug into his scalp, keeping his voice near her ear so as to not disrupt the images he evoked in her mind.

"I want to want that tremor in your thighs before you come for me. The way your toes curl and your heart hammers under your breast. I want to watch your stomach tighten and your folds redden as I drive into you before seeing how wet you are when you climax."

Anna could not hold on any longer. She buried her shriek in his neck, her body moving of its own accord and with abandon on his, and settling only a moment before John's fingers pressed where she tingled and fritzed. Arcing and bending toward him, Anna's head went back as she huffed for air while John's thrusts turned frenetic in their frantic frenzy for completion. Where before he maintained their rhythm with skill and dexterity, now he merely sought that high with her. And, when he came, Anna joined him there again as his fingers danced incomprehensible patterns over her flushed and soaked nerves.

The chair creaked as they settled, holding to one another as they heaved for air and tried to ignore the prickles and dribbles of sweat running over their bodies. Anna pushed off John's chest and used the blade of her hand to brush hair back from his forehead. His eyes still hazed with pleasure and she kissed over both of them before returning to his mouth. John recovered with her kisses to guide him back and helped her extract herself from the chair to help her stand.

"You're grinning." Anna bent over him, her skirt falling to the floor and leaving no one the wiser that she lacked her knickers under it.

"Am I?"

"Yes, and looking very pleased with yourself." Anna bent, holding to the arms of the chair and wincing as it pulled her back to stretch after their exertions.

"Should I not be?"

"On the contrary," Anna traced his face to kiss his cheek. "You should be very pleased with yourself as you've left me quite satisfied."

"Then my work is accomplished." John waited for Anna to take a step back before standing and pulling himself into place. He dug a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe over himself before restoring order to his appearance. "I'm just surprised you don't look as pleased with yourself."

"I've a potential gauntlet waiting for me outside that door." Anna pointed at the entrance to her classroom before tucking her knickers into her bag and retrieving what she needed from her desk. "I can't look as satisfied as I want to look when I might have to explain the glow to anyone passing by."

"That would be a bit of an explanation." John went to his knees and brought up Anna's skirt so he could run the handkerchief over her. Anna shivered, one of her hands going to his shoulder when her knees buckled. "But we won't have to explain it very long since we've a dinner appointment we're not allowed to miss."

"I just need to pack." Anna waited for John to return to his feet and watched him fold the handkerchief into a pocket. "Do you have any other spontaneous plans I should know about?"

"Plenty." John grinned and unlocked the door, allowing Anna to lead out. "But they'd not be surprises if I didn't keep them to myself."

"No, I suppose not."

John waited for Anna in the foyer while she went to her room and packed her things as quickly as she could. By the time she reached him, Emmaline was already there chattering away about everything that happened between their letters. They managed to smile at one another before John led the two women out of the school to the motor. He drove them into the city and they took their rooms at the hotel.

Mrs. Bates already waited for them there and insisted on an early dinner as she bought tickets to take Emmaline to an orchestral presentation that evening. With no time to spare they left their bags in the care of the porters and took their seats without freshening up. Anna and John sat close, John holding onto Anna's left hand so his fingers could occasionally brush against her ring. She gave him little smiles throughout the meal and even leaned over between courses to whisper in his ear, low enough so no one else at the table could hear.

"Keep doing that and I won't be able to restrain myself."

John turned his head to whisper back. "Perhaps that's the point."

Anna only narrowed her eyes at him and returned to the conversation. But when they wished Emmaline and Mrs. Bates safely to their performance, John's grip on Anna's hand tightened and they barely restrained themselves from dashing up the grand staircases like children. They did get into the room before John kissed her and Anna sank into his touch.

"I managed a month," She huffed against his lips, holding him to her while his fingers sought to make quick work of tiny buttons and latches he barely understood. "And yet I could barely function two hours without wanting to kiss you."

"It's like a drug." John laughed, pulling back to sort himself while Anna slipped the buttons free with none of the struggle John experienced. "We think we're fine without it and then, the moment you have it, the effect doubles."

"How'll I ever let you go after this?" Anna left her skirt and blouse hanging with her waistcoat on the back of a chair while she maneuvered out of her boots. The buckle of her stocking was under her fingers when John's hand landed on hers.

"It won't be long now." He unclipped her garters and rolled her stockings down her legs. Placing gentle kisses against her skin as he rose back to his feet, towering over her now with the removal of her shoes. "Then we'll be together."

"I know." Anna's hand ran down his shirt, focusing on pulling the buttons free as she blinked at tears. "I just… I don't want you to go."

His hands covered hers and Anna lifted her head to look into his eyes. "And I don't want to go either. But I've a duty to give my country and I'll serve to the end of my commission. Not a day longer."

"I'll count the seconds if I have to."

John smiled, bending to meet her lips with his. "That won't be necessary."

The kiss spun out, encouraged and unhindered until they broke apart to gasp for air. They shrugged John from his shirt and let his tie drift onto the seat of the chair. Soon the flutter of clothing resembled a storm of fabric until they pressed together skin to skin.

Anna writhed against him, holding herself close as she tried to keep herself connected to him. But John spun her in his arms, kissing over her neck and shoulders while shunting his hips into her ass so the growing length of him could drag along the crease there. She shuddered and sighed as John guided her to the vanity. Her hands caught the edge and she caught sight of his eyes in the mirror, dilated and dark in the starkness of the electric lights.

"I want to take you this way Anna." His hands smoothed over her skin, calming and electrifying her in the same motion as his hips continued to grind and twist against her. "But I want you to see me when I do."

"So I'll feel safe?"

"So I can watch your face when you fall over the edge with me." One of his hands firmed its grip at her hip and held her in place while he ground hard against her until Anna whimpered. "Can I, Anna? Do you want it this way?"

"Yes." Anna pressed her palms flat on the vanity, turning her wrists so her fingers gripped the underside and provided the leverage she needed to thrust herself back towards John. His eyes widened when Anna rocked into her on her own. "Take me John."

He drove forward without another word and Anna flexed against him. Holding herself still as John subtly shifted to find the angle that would best suit them both, Anna risked a look over her shoulder. The fine length of John, from shoulders to hips, was exposed to her. Each minute crevice and dip in his skin visible to her as if their current pose somehow provided a hyperawareness of her surroundings. And when he drew back, showing her the shiny length of him when coated with her, Anna forced herself to watch John thrust back into her until her ass rested in the cradle of his hips.

Anna turned herself back around, her toes digging into the carpeted floor to hold herself steady while John set the punishing pace for the two of them. A pace that only enflamed Anna further when their eyes met in the mirror. John held her gaze, his hands kneading her breasts and seeking at her nerves to help her over the edge, and Anna bowed under the weight of promised pleasure.

She gave over to it, coming with a cry that John soon echoed in his deeper timbre. Their bodies stuttered and settled together, the last shudders rippling between them as Anna's body gave up the clinging hold on John's and his fingers released their bruising grip on her, until they could stand. A motion that brought their kisses slowly but surely.

"I think," John placed a fine peck on her lips. "You need a soak."

"Why?"

"Because you've gone a month without and your body, as heavenly as it was tight, will need a bit of relaxation after the stretching."

"Do you intend to spoil me like this forever?"

"If I can." John kissed her forehead. "Won't be a moment."

Anna dropped into the chair next to the vanity and admired the naked form of her husband as he crossed into their en suite to work the tub. She shivered when he bent over to start a fire in the hearth of the tiled room as the chill of Spring still crept through the walls. And when he finally extended a hand to help her to the tub and into the water, Anna tugged on his appendage for him to join her.

They settled into the water, Anna's back to John's chest, and she breathed so easily she threatened to fall asleep in his arms there. But John's questing hand moved between her legs and set about bringing her to the edge again. Before he could make her fall, however, Anna pulled his hand away and turned.

The confusion on his face melted away under her kisses and then transformed to mimic the expressions of pleasure she surely bore as she sank down on him. Unlike the earlier joinings of the day, each with its own kind of frantic determinism, this was slow. Anna rocked gently and steadily on John as if to wend their careful way up a familiar but still treacherous path. But they reached the end together with gentle groans and moans they covered with kisses and caresses.

Drying one another with towels, they curled on the rug before the fire in their bedroom under a few blankets. Pressed skin to skin, with nothing to separate them, Anna curled herself into John's chest. Under a barrage of his kisses and the soothing touches of his hands, she fell asleep in the safety of his embrace.


	18. A Naval Celebration

Anna adjusted the dress and examined herself in the mirror, letting out a sigh as her trembling hands touched the fabric. Taking a deep breath, she removed the dress and turned to Emmaline. "How much do you trust your sewing skills?"

"The better question is, how much do you trust my sewing skills?"

"Good point." Anna turned in the fabric, the sensation of it against her skin invoking conflicting thoughts. "But I trust it more than mine and that's enough for me at the moment."

"I could ask Mrs. Moorsum to help as well." Emmaline pulled at the edge of the skirt. "She's got stitching to rival one of the machines they say Mr. Singer's creating to do all the sewing."

"Won't that be something?" Anna stood still as Emmaline helped extract her from the dress. "To sewing without using your fingers."

"I'd love it." Emmaline held the dress in her arms as Anna worked herself back into her blouse and skirt. "But why fix this dress?"

"Your father liked it at the Christmas Ball and… Circumstances being what they were, it was ruined. I'd like to wear it again, all mended, and give him another chance to see me in it." Anna buttoned her blouse and paused, watching Emmaline's hand brush the dress repeatedly. "Does it bother you?"

"No." Emmaline shook her head, "I think trying to exorcise our demons is a good thing. And wearing the dress again shows they don't hold you any longer."

"But?"

Emmaline shrugged, "It's about the play."

"About which part?" Anna bent to check her hair in the mirror before catching Emmaline's eye. "You can tell me."

"Do you really think Edna and Sara were the best choices for it?"

Anna stood, folding her arms over her chest. "Is there a reason they wouldn't be the best option?"

"The school's always done Shakespeare or Marlowe in the past. I think having an original production might… Might send the wrong message."

"Ms. O'Brien wasn't of a much different mind." Anna shrugged, "But I'll not be renewing my contract here and, given the opportunity, I think Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting will prove themselves capable. I've already seen two of their drafts and what they've got planned is rather spectacular."

"It's a tableau."

"About a very famous piece of literature." Anna put a hand on Emmaline's arm. "What's really troubling you about the play? Because I don't think of you as a person petty enough to begrudge them the chance to prove they're more than their entitlement and their past actions."

"It's…" Emmaline sniffed, "Why didn't you ask me?"

"Because you're already aware of your worth." Anna took the dress from Emmaline's hands to lay over a chair before sitting on the bed with her. "There are some who, driven almost mad by their positions, will succumb to the level of belligerence that they did. But others, insecure with themselves, do the same. When I first came here I thought it was the former, now I'm sure it's the latter."

"So you let them choose the play?"

"Of course." Anna waved her hand at the room. "This school exists to show women what they can do. We're meant to prove ourselves here. Prove that we're better than we were taught to believe. That means that we've got to believe in ourselves. We've got to show ourselves who we can be."

"They're set to inherit huge dowries and marry men as rich as they are." Emmaline shook her head, "They've got nothing to prove to themselves."

"How many of those wives and husbands in those ballrooms look happy to you?" Anna waited as Emmaline dropped her gaze. "They know their husbands are occupied running companies, dealing with people, and occasionally having affairs. They know that their only purpose is to stand on the arm or manage a charity. They've lost all hope for themselves because their purpose was wrapped up in a marriage. That's to be pitied, not envied."

"Then why bother?"

"Because when they think they've not enough to divorce their philandering husbands or save themselves from their situations, they'll remember that someone believed in them once." Anna put her hands over Emmaline's. "I believe in them the way I believe in you. But you've got a step up that they don't."

"What step?"

"You've a father who believes the world revolves around you and you mean the world to him." Anna smiled, "One thing that every girl needs is a father who believes in her."

"A mother too."

"Mothers are made to love their children. It's an instinct set in our very bones." Anna squeezed Emmaline's hands. "I trust them to do this because they've got talent and a desire. It'll work."

"Why didn't you ask me?" Anna blinked at Emmaline's low voice. "Didn't you think I could do it?"

"Of course I did." Anna urged Emmaline's chin up so they could look at one another. "If I always pick you then others don't get their chance."

"But I had some good ideas."

"I don't doubt that and I think, when given the chance, you'll astound us all." Anna hugged Emmaline close. "I want for your success with all my soul but I've got to give them a chance to succeed as well."

Emmaline nodded, "I just… I'm worried that this was my only chance. Next year's my last and if you'll not be in your position then…"

"We'll set a precedent this year." Anna stood, "I've got every confidence in Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting. They'll make this a mark of Downton's skills."

"And you'll be back in time for the performance?"

"Of course." Anna helped Emmaline to stand, taking the dress before Emmaline could. "I wouldn't miss this presentation for the world."

"Then I'll get started on the mending and-"

"Actually," Anna bit her lip and then grinned. "Perhaps you should show me what you could write and I'll take this to Mrs. Moorsum."

"But I said-"

"I know." Anna twisted to keep the dress away. "But I changed my mind."

Emmaline huffed, "What do you want me to write?"

"Whatever you want." Anna winked at her. "I'll come by later."

She took the dress through the corridors to the room with the gentle chatter of girls and knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a woman with dark hair and eyes as blue as Anna's but a bit softer. With a smile the woman welcomed Anna into the room. "How can I help you Mrs. Bates?"

"I need some repairs done on this." Anna held out the dress and the other woman took it, spreading it over an empty table and putting on a small pair of spectacles to immediately inspect it. "I'd like to know if it's even possible."

"It's possible, just not easy." The woman stood, "I'll need to measure you in it because the style'll have to change slightly."

"It will?"

"Not too much." She held up the skirt, "The tears aren't the kind you can just patch. I'll need to ruck them up slightly and make them more like ruffles in the fabric to hide the mending. It'll look wonderful just not as sleek as before."

"That's more than alright." Anna put a hand on the woman's arm. "You're a life saver Mrs. Moorsum."

"I'm aware." Mrs. Moorsum winked and led Anna behind a screen. "Please get down to your corset so I can see how it hangs."

When the dress was on her, Mrs. Moorsum made some adjustments and notes, muttering to herself when she used pins to hold part of it in place. But when she went to close the clasps at the back, feeding buttons into their holds, the material tightened and Anna winced. Both of them paused and Mrs. Moorsum came around to face her.

"Mrs. Bates," She removed her spectacles, playing with them a bit in her hand, "Have you had difficulty tying your corset lately?"

"It's been a bit tight but Mrs. Patmore's feast after Easter was-"

"I mean before that." Mrs. Moorsum took a finger and prodded Anna gently just below her abdomen. "Are you taking on a bit more water than usual?"

"It's not my monthlies if that's what you-"

"I'm sure your monthlies haven't come in a bit." Mrs. Moorsum smiled, "I'll have to let the dress out since you're in the family way."

Anna almost tripped off the stool. "Excuse me?"

"Surely you've suspected-" Mrs. Moorsum paused, "You have suspected, haven't you? A missed month and all that."

Anna shook her head, "I've… I've not suspected anything. I knew that stress, when I was younger, would… I mean, I haven't…"

"If you don't find it impertinent to suggest," Mrs. Moorsum winked at her. "You are a married woman and this sort of thing happens in these situations."

"But we've…" Anna paused, shaking her head as if to sort her thoughts. "It's not been long enough."

"Not been long enough?"

"My parents took years to have me."

Mrs. Moorsum shrugged, "I had Freddie within the first year my husband and I were married. It's different for everyone." Anna put her hands on her abdomen as if she could feel the life there and Mrs. Moorsum covered them. "It's a good thing."

"Not for this dress." Anna half-laughed, her voice shaking with nerves and a host of emotions she was not entirely sure had names. "How do I tell him?"

Mrs. Moorsum shrugged, going back to her pins and notes as she manipulated the material of the dress. "However you like. I would not suggest, however, hoping he'll notice on his own. Men tend to be a little… clueless, where that's concerned and you should never leave it to them to suss it out for themselves. It's never wise."

"Because they can't?"

"When women aren't even sure of their bodies, how could we ever expect men to understand them?" Mrs. Moorsum snorted, "It took my husband four months to even ask where I'd been hiding all the pies I'd been eating."

Anna could only nod and stand still as Mrs. Moorsum continued. It took the woman shaking Anna's arm to jolt her from her funk so she could move. "And I promise, I'll have this done by end of tomorrow. It won't be nothing I can't fix and I can mend anything."

"There's no rush." Anna tucked her blouse into her skirt. "I don't even leave until Friday afternoon. And Emmaline said she'd help if-"

"Ms. Bates should focus on what she's already making for my class." Mrs. Moorsum wagged a finger but smiled. "If Ms. Bates wants to make a dress like this then I'll suggest it for her project next year. Or perhaps for that tableau they're doing for this year's Summer play."

Anna almost cringed. "Where did you fall in that argument?"

"I was glad we're not doing anything that requires too many costumes. Most of the ones we're using only need alterations and that, I'll tell you, is much easier than starting from scratch." Mrs. Moorsum dragged her hand over the dress, smoothing the fabric out. "And I like the idea that we're asking the girls to think of something original. They need to know what they're capable of."

"You think they can do it?"

"I think these girls spend too much of their lives wondering why they're bothering with all this when they'll only be decoration in ballrooms." Mrs. Moorsum shook her head, "They're made for more than that. They just don't know it yet."

Anna nodded and left the classroom, tugging on her fingers. The preoccupation of Mrs. Moorsum's revelation distracted her through most of the week. Each motion and movement was more of a rote performance than a heartfelt contribution and when she finally boarded the train on Friday it took Emmaline's voice to snap her into a conversation she only heard half of and understood only half of that. Shaking herself and pushing at her waistcoat, Anna blinked and tried to smile as if listening intently.

"Yes."

Emmaline frowned. "Yes what?"

"To whatever you were…" Anna sighed, putting her fingers to her forehead and grinding there while she scrunched her eyes closed. It took a moment to meet Emmaline's eyes again. "I'm sorry, I've been horribly distracted."

"I can tell. You almost had us reading an American author in class yesterday." Emmaline studied Anna's face. "Are you alright?"

"By the look on your face you don't seem to think I am."

"You've been horribly distracted. Mrs. Hughes even asked me if you'd quarreled with my father."

Anna snorted, "It's difficult to quarrel with someone currently trying to navigate the Arctic."

"He's not there anymore."

"Well," Anna shrugged, "His voyage to the far reaches of the North was a bit of a damper on our letter writing. I don't think half the letters I sent to Norway even made it and I know the ones I sent to Russia didn't."

"Good thing you wrote two copies of each then, isn't it?"

"It is." Anna patted the bag at her side before nodding at the girl. "When did you learn to do that?"

Emmaline sat back in her seat. "Papa told me, when I was old enough to scratch out a letter to him, that I should always write two because he couldn't guarantee he'd get all my letters and he didn't want to miss a thing. So, whenever he came to visit, I was to give him the copies, in order, and he'd sort through the rest of the story on his own."

"Sounds like him." Anna turned her face toward the window. "He'll be gone a lot more often now that he's an Admiral."

"Grandmama says there's a risk they could station him in Hong Kong or Bombay and we'll have to decide if we want to go with him or stay here."

Anna frowned, "Wouldn't you want to see Hong Kong or Bombay?"

Emmaline shrugged, "I'd love to see them but the risk is that if we lived there then I'd have to marry into the available pool of gentry and nobility clogging all the dance halls there."

"Is that so bad?"

"It's not what I want." Emmaline's palms pushed over her legs and Anna watched the ripples of her skirt flatten and then retract. "I don't want to marry someone for their title or their position. I want to marry someone who loves me."

"We all do." Anna's hand drifted to her abdomen and she brushed there for a moment before pulling away. "Emmaline, I've a question for you and… I haven't told your father about this but…"

"What?"

Anna took a deep breath, "I think I may be pregnant."

"May be?"

"I don't know, I've never been pregnant before but Mrs. Moorsum was convinced…" Anna sighed, flapping her hand about so it slapped against her thigh. "When she mended the dress she had to take it out a tuck and my corset's been tighter later, I've eaten a bit more than usual, and I've… I've not bled since before Easter so…"

"You're in the family way then?"

Anna nodded, "I think so, yes."

Emmaline blinked and then spluttered a moment before speaking. "Papa'll be so pleased. Grandmama always said he wanted more children but my mother said no and now…" She put a hand to her cheek, "Now he'll have his chance."

"It won't replace you." Anna put a hand out, covering Emmaline's. "Whatever child, or children, we have could never replace you."

"Of course not." Emmaline shook her head as if Anna's thought were mad at its very conception. "I'm irreplaceable."

Anna grinned and squeezed Emmaline's hands a moment before settling back into her seat, the remainder of their trip passing in comfortable silence. They arrived at the station in London to the familiar embrace of Mrs. Bates but John was nowhere to be seen. Mrs. Bates, however, caught Anna's craning neck and chuckled before leading them and the porters toward the motor.

"He's got a few things he's finishing up at the Naval Offices and then he'll be round. We're all staying at mine so I'll thank you kindly for keeping the noise level down tonight. I need my beauty rest for the Ball."

The three women worked through their dinner and Emmaline was dozing on her grandmother's shoulder while Anna read aloud when John finally arrived back. He dropped everything in the entryway and hurried to the rousing Emmaline, his knitting mother, and Anna. It only took a moment to exchange smiles before Anna nodded toward Emmaline and John altered course to embrace his daughter.

"I'm sorry I'm so late. There was a little… problem, at the Office." He dipped to kiss his mother's cheek as she persisted in continuing her knitting as if not bothered in the slightest. "How was the train?"

"Like always." Emmaline managed before yawning so widely she threatened cracking her jaw. "I think I should turn in. If I don't I'll fall asleep on the dance floor tomorrow night."

"Don't do that." John kissed her cheek, "There are too many young officers hoping they'll catch your eye."

"Don't tell her that." Mrs. Bates tutted, folding up her knitting and tucking the basket under the sofa to stand and support the drooping Emmaline. "Besides, the party for those not wearing all those epaulettes on their lapels was always more fun. It's how I met your grandfather. What a night that was. I remember-"

"Emmaline's a bit old of bedtime stories." John cut in, shaking his head. "And I don't want her attending the NCO party. It gets raucous and for the last three years the police have broken it up. I won't risk her catching a stray rock or bottle to the head. Especially not when there's a chance for anything else to happen."

"Spoilsport." Mrs. Bates grumbled, better hefting Emmaline on her shoulder. "If I hadn't gone to that party, you wouldn't be here to take the fun out of poor Emmaline's life."

" _Poor_ Emmaline'll have to make decisions for herself when she can make those decisions for herself." John pressed a final kiss to Emmaline's forehead before stepping out of the way for Mrs. Bates to help her upstairs.

Anna briefly clutched at Emmaline's hand as her way of saying 'goodnight' before she set the book in her lap on the side table and watched John collapse onto the sofa. His long legs spilled toward the crackling fireplace and he heaved a huge sigh as his head lolled back into the cushions. A slight creak of the wooden headboard had her smiling as their eyes met again.

"Hello." He managed, scooting sideways on the sofa to reach out a hand and hold hers. They were silent as his thumb brushed over the back of her hand, steady strokes that slowly pulled the skin into a gentle massage. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Anna returned the gesture on his hand.

He tugged for a moment and Anna left her chair to sit in the arch of his arm on the sofa. They stared into the fire as John's fingers now danced on her shoulder. "It's been too long, Anna."

"It could've been longer." Anna took a deep breath and reached her other hand out to pull his arm over her stomach, letting the comforting circle wrap her abdomen. "It might've been longer."

"We've not had much time together, you and I." John's nose brushed along her temple, placing a kiss there. "Always caught better this responsibility and that commitment. Always pulled in two."

"It's not forever." Anna took a deep breath and manipulated his hand so it held at her abdomen. "And it won't be too bad."

"I can't imagine you get lonely at the school with all those girls but-"

"It's not that." Anna shifted from under John's arm and shifted to face him on the sofa. "I've news for you."

"What?" He sat up straighter, mirroring her pose on the sofa as his hands reached for hers. "Has something happened?"

"I think so." Anna grinned at him, extracting a hand to hold along John's cheek when the wide-eyed fear of her possible responses flirted over his face. "It's nothing bad. I promise you, there's no reason to worry."

"None at all?"

"Not about this." Anna pressed his hand to her abdomen. "We're expecting."

"We're expecting what?" She pressed his hand a bit harder to her abdomen and John's eyes went wide again but this time it was in excitement. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure?"

He huffed out a gasp of surprise and his hand almost went to cover his mouth before both hands pressed at the air above her abdomen. Anna noted the tremble in his hands as he seemed to caress the air above her, fearful of even touching her in case the moment broke and it was all a dream. When he finally met her eyes again, Anna's filled with tears to match his. "Truly?"

"Truly." Anna giggled and gasped out as John went to his knees in front of her, hands finally settling on her abdomen. "John?"

"I'm…" He leaned forward and kissed her there, holding for a moment before retracting. "I'm so very happy. You've made me so very happy."

"I think," Anna covered his hands with hers, drawing his eyes to her face. "You've made me very happy."

"We'll both make one another happy." John hugged around her waist, putting his ear to her abdomen. "This is better than I've ever dreamed. I… I can't believe it."

Anna wiped at her tears before dipping to kiss his forehead. "Believe."

They did not hold that position long, John's knees complaining and forcing him back to her side on the sofa, but Anna did not mind. She tucked herself into his side and only forced them to leave the comfort of their position when her eyes grew heavy. A feat that made the task of ascending the stairs to their room all the more difficult for their uncoordinated motions.

But they managed to make it to their bed. They lay together, John's hands never stopping their careful caress of her abdomen, and Anna smiled herself to sleep. Smiled herself as she dreamed of dark-haired children playing with John.

Soft kisses woke her and Anna smiled into them as she blinked her eyes open to see John. "Good morning."

"Good morning." He kissed her on the lips for a moment before settling back on the pillows. "I've not had the chance to say that to you yet."

"We said it at Easter." Anna dragged her finger down his nose and tapped the end of it. "We had a whole week together."

"Probably how this happened." John's hand swept over her abdomen again. "It was the first opportunity we had to test living in the same space."

"And sharing the same bed for more than a night or a day." Anna snuggled herself closer to him, drawing her fingers over his undershirt. "I missed sleeping next to you. My bed felt too empty without you."

"My cot was too big." John snorted, "And I've never felt that way before."

Anna wrapped her arm around him. "It doesn't need to feel too big now."

"No," His finger traced the lines of her face. "No it doesn't."

They were silent a moment before Anna risked saying something. She bit her lip, dragging her tongue over it as a dry tic in her throat had her swallowing. "I missed other things… Other things I did with you."

John's grin widened and he tilted his chin down to meet her eyes. "What kind of 'other things' did you miss about me?"

"Well," Anna pushed back slightly, going on her knees as John lay back on the bed to watch her. "The kind of 'other things' that made this possible."

Her hands took place at her abdomen before crawling down to drag the edge of her nightgown up. "I thought you might like to see what I learned."

"Have you been studying?" John put his hands behind his head but Anna noted the slight pull to his exposed forearms. As if he put his hands there to stop himself interrupting her demonstration.

"I believe in setting a good example for my students." Anna pulled her nightdress over her head and tried to steady her breathing as her heart thumped in her chest at the flare in John's nostrils when her breasts were exposed.

"I wouldn't want them to learn this in school."

"No," Anna leaned back, shimmying her knickers down her legs to drop them over the side to join her nightgown. When she got back into position, her legs spread wide, Anna could not take her eyes away from the way John's Adam's apple bobbed in his attempt to stop from touching her. "But I've learned a lot in school."

The innate sense in every person that allows their brain to track the movement of their limbs without seeing them became Anna's unwitting ally. It allowed her eyes to stay on John while her hands smoothed over her skin. She still twitched in surprise when her body proved more sensitive in places than she expected or when her hands proved just as deft in their ministrations without her conscious notice as they did when she bit into her pillow at night. But the sight that kept her riveted was John's chest rising and falling in increasingly dramatic caving motions as her fingers tweaked at her nipples, kneaded her breasts, and swirled her clit. When she opened her folds he almost choked. And the sounds she made when her fingers entered her channel almost had John cracking his jaw with how tightly he clamped it shut.

And when Anna brought herself over the edge, John moaned aloud.

Anna sagged back against the bed, swallowing as she closed her eyes to try and ease her breathing, and nodded toward John. "It's your turn."

"What?" His tone had Anna opening her eyes and she took in the tenting of his pajama trousers before meeting his eyes.

"I'm sure you've not… Left yourself without taking matters into your own hands." Anna paused, almost biting into her lip. "You have-"

"Of course." John's hands came from behind his head, sitting up quickly enough to send the surviving blankets and sheets rumpling and swirling toward the foot of the bed. "I just… I didn't think…"

"I do." Anna arranged a few pillows behind her, holding herself in a seated position but allowing her legs to straighten and sag her weight into the mattress. "I want to see what you did when you thought about me."

John's tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip, and tried to bring a bit of humor to his cracked voice. "How do you know I thought about you?"

"Because I read your letters." Anna let her eyes flick down and John coughed at her satisfied smile. "And I see how you look right now."

"You're right." John brought his arms to cross over his chest and lift his undershirt over his head. "I thought about you a lot."

"How often?"

"Often enough that I had to learn all the kings of England so I could distract myself away from compromising positions." John shook his head, pushing his trousers and pants down his legs to leave them in a pile on his side of the bed that matched Anna's. "It's a little more difficult for men to hide it than women."

"But when you didn't have to hide it?" Anna twisted to crawl to John's side as he settled back against the pillows, the sheer length of him from head to toe taking all of the available space. "What did you do then?"

"I thought of you." John's hand settled on his erection and Anna tried to split her time between watching his eyes, watching his determined hand, and bringing her hands back to her body. It was as if his hand was on her instead of her own as she watched his hips buck and twitch in response to his strokes.

"Thought what?" Anna whispered, licking her lips and pressing her knees into the bed as her hand sought where her body tingled and warmed. "Thought about me how?"

"I thought about the sounds you make when I bring my tongue where your hand is now." John's hand kept moving and Anna forced herself to look at him. "Come over here."

"What?"

"I want to make a new memory." John paused his hand, shifting sideways over the bed so his side knocked her knees. "Put your knees on either side of my head near my shoulders."

"But that would-"

"I want to taste you when I touch myself." John urged her over and Anna withdrew her hand. John caught it and licked over her fingers, nipping at the tips as she shivered. "Prologue."

"And then what?" Anna settled herself carefully over him, afraid of overbalancing and falling onto his chest.

"Just watch." John's free hand skated up her thigh to hold at her hip and urged her to bend into her knees. Bend so far Anna cried out as John's tongue licked the length of her. His hold kept her bent into her knees as if sitting on his face but John's tongue disabused her of that thought. And she quivered when he growled against her skin. "I've missed the taste of you Anna."

Her hands held on either side of his chest and Anna vainly tried to keep herself from thrusting her hips into the welcome caress of his tongue and the sucking of his mouth on her. But it only worsened when she caught sight of his hand still moving over his erection, standing thicker and prouder now as it pulsed. Anna pressed her palms into the mattress and held herself there as fascination kept her rooted in awe of John's concentration on bringing her to pleasure while carefully managing himself.

Anna let her tongue wet her lips and then paused, her tongue between her teeth, before darting forward to let her tongue brush over the tip of him when his hand returned to the base. He stuttered in his motions and moaned into her skin, delving his tongue deeper into her. That only made Anna bolder and she surged forward to take as much of him into her mouth as she could.

John's hand still worked the base, the other keeping its secure hold on her hip so his mouth could continue its assault on her folds and clit, but Anna's mouth drove them to sensate abandon with each lick and nip. The shuffling thrust their bodies made as they sought to bring order to a disordered search for pleasure, left them both groaning into one another until John paused Anna's motions. She barely had time to comprehend the action before John's tongue sent her biting into the sheets to stop the howl that threatened to rip from her throat.

The shuddering sag of her body was nothing for John to lift and maneuver until the solid thumps of his feet hitting the floor roused Anna. She turned and her shoulder impacted on John's chest as he held her back to it. His arms wrapped her protectively and her legs confused themselves with one tucked behind John and the other dangling over the right angles of his bent ones.

"Are you alright Anna?" She nodded into him and blindly sought for his lips as she planted sloppy kisses on the skin she could reach. John's mouth found hers and Anna hummed at the taste of herself there. "Because I thought about more than just your taste."

"John…" Anna sighed, breaking the kiss to press her forehead into his jaw as John's hands carefully manipulated her body to slide himself inside her in a single stroke. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

"I won't." He whispered in her ear, his hips thrusting gently into hers so he moved inside her. "Because I thought about your kisses. The tenderness in your touch when your fingers brushed my face. About the way you look at me as if I'm the only man in the world. How you moan when I kiss your breasts. The smell of your hair when it's fanning out behind you. The way you looked in that dress at Christmas. Your wedding dress and that dressing gown the day we were married. The way you tighten around me. How wet you are when I try to work you over the edge. And how you always sigh my name when you finish."

Each statement punctuated itself with a thrust of him inside her, Anna clinging to the back of his neck or his arm to hold herself steady. Every word he said only sensitized her skin more, worked her breasts into veritable magnets for his touch that send fizzing pleasure through her with abandon and giving his fingers more than enough help when they attempted to bring her over the edge again. She cried out as her body finished her again and John's release followed shortly afterward. The final stutters of their bodies keeping Anna from falling asleep.

"Every waking thought I have is of you." John kissed Anna's temple, moving them back onto the bed and situating them so they faced one another. "Of you, of our family… You're all that matters."

His eyes went wide and he reached out with shaking hands to touch her abdomen. "I didn't realize… Is… Are you…"

"I'm fine." Anna covered his hands, holding them in place. "And I think the baby, for as small as it is right now, is fine. Better, in fact, because we're here with you." Anna smiled at him, kissing away John's confusion.

"Then you're not hurt?"

"I feel wonderful." She put her head back into a pillow, his by the smell of it. "A little tired but what can you expect when you've got such a wonderfully generous husband to dote on you?"

"I wouldn't know." John kept a straight face. "I don't have a husband."

Anna swatted at him, "Charmer."

"I hope so." He wiggled into a comfortable position on his side of the bed. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Watching you or… any of the other parts of it?"

"Any of it."

"All of it." Anna closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "I enjoyed all of it."

For however long they did manage to sleep, it was not long enough. Mrs. Bates hammered on their door to rouse them with a list of errands and a hairdresser's appointment for Anna and Emmaline to prepare them for the Ball. Anna and John reluctantly parted ways and Anna endured the hasty shuffle from one location to the next in preparation for their 'magnificent evening', as Mrs. Bates continued to put it.

Even her preparation for the evening was an arduous struggle. Between the fussing of Mrs. Bates, Emmaline, and her own, Anna only just managed to get into her dress and shoes by the time John called up the stairs for the three of them. And amid the flurry and fierce haste of the other two, Anna finally had a moment alone.

A moment to see herself in the mirror.

Wearing the dress that, six months ago, left her feeling as tattered as it was, Anna practiced a twirl. The edges of the ruffled skirt caught air and flared out. She stopped, holding herself in place as the skirt settled, and took a deep breath. Every creeping feeling snuck toward her in the microcosm of the moment she breathed but fled away as Anna opened her eyes. All she saw now, when she looked in the mirror, was herself with pinned back hair and wearing a beautiful dress.

It was all John saw when she descended the stairs as well. His dumbfounded expression forced Anna to ease into her wrap on her own and only regained his ability to speak when Mrs. Bates poked him hard in the arm. And their ride to the ballroom for the evening was filled with gentle touches as his finger stroked the fabric and her skin with every possible moment he had.

Anna relished it. Relished taking John's hand with confidence as he led them into the ballroom in his Admiral's uniform. Relished the way he guided her over the floor between dances with his daughter and mother. Relished the looks he only had for her in the bright room filled with beautiful ladies and dazzling colors. But the two of them, in their carefully constructed personas for the evening, were all that mattered. All that would ever matter.

When the Ball ended, the last stragglers insisting on final glasses of champagne or toasts to friends and days gone by, John and Anna helped Emmaline and Mrs. Bates to their motor. Emmaline snored softly on Anna's shoulder the whole way back while a slightly tipsy Mrs. Bates raved about the retried men and their uniformed before weeping a bit at the mention of John's father. Anna met John's eyes for a moment but he shook his head and soothed his mother. Both took their charges to their beds, helping them as much as they could into bedclothes and under sheets, before making their way to their room.

The moment John closed the door, the click of the lock ringing in Anna's ears, his voice was all she needed as a tether. He crossed the room towards her, holding her gently in his large hands, and whispered to her as they used the sensual caress of fabric to encourage their dance. "You looked gorgeous in this dress."

"I thought you'd like it." Anna kissed at the line of his jaw before dotting his neck with tiny kisses, her fingers working the buttons of his jacket open. "I had it mended and altered a bit."

"You looked like a goddess of the sea."

Anna laughed into his skin, pressing her forehead hard against the weave of his jacket before pushing it off his shoulders. "Appropriate, since I've gone and married a Naval man."

"You moved like water, slow and sensual and strong, and no one could pull their eyes from you." John's fingers continued to dabble and tease at the line of her gloves until he tugged one off to kiss down the length of her arm. "It was the closest I've ever been to magic before."

"Perhaps that's what we have together." Anna's fingers tugged at his tie and it snapped to slither to the ground with the other glove John removed to free her arm for another round of kisses. "Magic."

"It's beautiful." He breathed, fingering the delicate buttons at her back as if to familiarize himself with the mechanism before loosening one after the other. "And you glowed. Everything about you glowed."

"Only with you." She kissed at his chest, exposing it with each button she freed on his shirt until he let that fall to the ground as well. "You make me glow John."

"Forever." His hands brought her chin up so they could stare at one another. "I'll make you glow forever Anna."

There was no hurry. Nothing to rush them or their motions as they followed the contours and constraints of their clothing until they pressed skin to skin in the middle of the room, as if the only survivors of a material massacre. One they could claim no knowledge of and even less care for.

John guided Anna to the bed and helped her lay back against the pillows as he crawled over her. His kisses covered and mapped every inch of her body until Anna tingled and writhed under his assault. Her hands grappled at his skin, scoring nail marks into his shoulders and sides before raking them down his chest or through his hair when he massaged her breasts or put his mouth on her nerves. He did not stop until Anna's entire body tensed and then released in a stream he lapped up before allowing his fingers to give her another boost over the edge.

Her legs opened then, catching to notch on his hips and draw him close to her. Their eyes met and, with only the orange glow of the fire and the soft yellow of the street lamps outside the windows, they joined. Slowly, exquisitely, and without rush. Nothing could rush the moment as they found a rhythm together that rocked them like the waves before leaving them both stranded as glorious castaways on the distant shore of pleasure. One they found together and held onto until sleep overcame them.

Sleep that John coaxed Anna from in the night. His hands and arms kept her close to his chest, still on their sides, and the caress of his palm over her abdomen calmed her while his other palm rubbed at her clit. Before she could cry out or finish, he entered her from behind and they moved together.

In the dark and quiet of the late night and early morning, there was nothing and no one but them. John's hand on her abdomen, not moving while his other hand tried to accomplish the work of two, almost drove Anna to tears. His soft kisses on her shoulders, neck, and chin brought their mouths together and they rippled in their release. Perhaps not as passionate or as fiery or as mind blowing as others they shared but no less significant.

There, in the dark, Anna lay contented and safe in the arms of the man she loved. His arms kept her close and his whispers lulled her back to sleep. One so deep she might have suspected the moment was just a dream. Its perfection and gentleness so pure she was sure it was not of this world.

It was of their world. The only world that mattered. Would ever matter. The only world she needed.


	19. Winter in Scotland

Parents filed into the seats, the ladies all holding their parasols to break the sun from their skin as the gentle chirp of summer cicadas added to the din of chatter. Anna watched them, peaking from the side of the stage, before ducking back behind the curtain to address the girls finishing up final preparations. Swallowing, Anna snapped her fingers for attention and all of the girls paused their preparations and whispers to turn to her.

"I know you're all excited. This is the last thing and tomorrow you all go home for summer holidays but please, take this seriously." Anna opened her hand toward Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting. "Your fellow students wrote and directed this. It's their genius at work here and I want you all to remember that we're here to support and learn from one another."

She clapped her hands together, "Do your best, because I know you can, and remember that the audience is made up of your proud parents and your excited relatives. They're going to love what you perform for them so do your best."

All the girls gathered in a circle for a moment, Anna joining them, and took a collective deep breath. Then everyone looked at someone else and intoned at the same time, "Break a leg." They separated as Ms. O'Brien's voice came from the stage, speaking into a rolled cone as a way to amplify her voice.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Downton Ladies' College is pleased to welcome you all out on this sunny afternoon for a performance by our English classes. As is tradition here at Downton, each year the English class is completed with a presentation of a play to commemorate the year." There was a pause and Anna's peek through the curtains betrayed Ms. O'Brien's pursed lips and the sensation the woman was swallowing something foul. "This year we've broken a bit from tradition and, at the urging of our English instructor Mrs. Bates, we've decided to accept an original work by Ms. Edna Braithwaite and Ms. Sara Bunting."

The applause was scattered but solid and Anna scanned the crowd a moment before dropping back behind the curtain for the remainder of Ms. O'Brien's words. "As such, the performance will be a revision on Alfred Lord Tennyson's _The Lady of Shalott_." The applause this time was a bit more enthusiastic and Anna pointed to the first sets of girls to get in position between the two sets of curtains before falling back again. "I do hope you enjoy the performance."

The clack of Ms. O'Brien's shoes had barely left the stage when the first girl slipped between the curtains, dressed like a medieval herald, and unfurled a scroll of read out in a voice that got louder as she gained confidence. "We set our scene near Camelot. That ancient seat of King Arthur's throne and where we learned that right was might. But we speak not of knights and ladies, fairly decorated and gayly attired. We speak, instead, of sorrow and pain. Of the woman Elaine. Of she they call, the Lady of Shalott."

The girl drew back between the curtains as the younger ones operating the pulleys pulled back to allow the first scene to stand in tableau. A painted set piece set the stage while other girls came from the sides to pull the scene off the stage and extend it toward the little creek and the section of grass before the chairs. Members of the crowd 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at it as the second narrator read.

" _On either side the river lie_

 _Long fields of barely and of rye,_

 _That clothe the wold and meet the sky;_

 _And thro' the field the road runs by_

 _To many-tower'd Camelot;_

 _The yellow-leaved waterlily_

 _The green-sheathed daffodilly_

 _Tremble in the water chilly_

 _Round about Shalott_."

Anna cued the next girls as each set acted out the sequences as they were read. One stanza per girl, sometimes said by those who had frozen in tableau a moment before and others who said their part before becoming a tableau. They played out each scene as the 'Lady of Shalott' wove in her castle and looked through her mirror at Camelot.

When the girls acted the part of Sir Lancelot riding by, a few of the audience members laughed at the stick-horse they used but quickly lost themselves to muffled tears when the girls helped the 'Lady of Shalott' into her boat and pulled her to the stream for her death. Carefully maneuvering the boat, the girls all gathered round it to say the last lines of the poem as one.

" _They cross'd themselves, their starys they blest,_

 _Knight, minstrel, abbot, squire, and guest._

 _There lay a parchment on her breast,_

 _That puzzled more than the rest,_

 _The wellfed wits at Camelot._

 _'_ _The web was woven was woven curiously,_

 _The charm is broken utterly,_

 _Draw near and fear not, —this is I,_

 _The Lady of Shalott'._ "

Anna held her breath as the audience took a moment to watch the boat released to float down the creek. From her position, if she craned her neck slightly, she could watch it meander slowly toward where Mr. Moseley and Mr. Carson waited to stop it sailing any further. As if on cue, when they stopped the boat, the audience broke into applause.

Her fingers clutched at the curtain as she beamed so broadly she feared her face would crack. All of the girls gathered back on stage, their 'Lady of Shalott' hurrying over to join them and bow first. Each successive group of girls took their bows and then stepped to the side as Anna signaled for the back curtains to be opened. Ms. Parks and Mrs. Moorsum came forward, urging Anna to join them, and they all took their bows before stepping to the side. Then, with a timidity that Anna would swear neither girl had before, Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting came forward.

The audience cheered for them and Anna noted the crying women in the audience she would guess, with a few similar features, were their mothers. She clapped as loudly as the rest when some of the younger girls brought bouquets of flowers forward to give to Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting. They took another bow, both wiping at their eyes, and then signaled for the whole company to do the same.

When Ms. O'Brien took the stage the applause started to die down and the audience retook their seats. She waited a moment, for a bit more quiet, and used her cone to project her voice again. "I'm sure we're all pleased by the work these girls have done and the quality of production they've given us with the assistance of our Dramatic Arts instructor, Ms. Parks, our home sciences instructor Mrs. Moorsum, and their English instructor, Mrs. Bates."

Another round of applause as the three women stepped forward. Ms. O'Brien's cheek twitched a bit and she used the cone to speak again. "They are a few of the wonderful examples of professionalism and teaching we provide at Downton and with this production as a model of their leadership and skill, you see how bright and talented your daughters are. We want to thank all of our girls for giving their utmost efforts and providing us with such a grand and auspicious start to the future plans for allowing for… original productions as our Summer Plays."

At the next round of applause Ms. O'Brien bent toward Anna's ear and whispered to her. "I do hope you know what you've done here, Mrs. Bates." Anna barely had time to frown before Ms. O'Brien addressed the audience again. "As it is, we've a lovely luncheon spread just on the other side of the grounds. We'll proceed there where you can congratulate and compliment your daughters as you will."

She left the stage, the girls trailing after her as the audience broke itself into pieces to begin the trek to the other side of the grounds. Anna let out a sigh and hugged Mrs. Moorsum and Ms. Parks before clapping both on the shoulders. "This would've been impossible without you."

"I think, Mrs. Bates, you've not given yourself nearly enough credit." Ms. Parks looked over the stage. "I'll have a talk with the groundskeeper to see if this can't be saved. I think we should use it in the future."

"And we'll clear all the costumes out tomorrow." Mrs. Moorsum shook her head, "The girls'll wear most of them back to their rooms and we'll get whatever's left in the morning."

"Yes." Anna held up a finger, "One moment."

"I was finished anyway." Mrs. Moorsum waved her off and put her arm through Ms. Parks so they could walk toward the luncheon together.

Anna hurried off the stage and flitted through the last vestiges of the crowd to where Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting stood speaking to their parents. They all turned as she approached and Anna's chest stiffened a tad before she could speak. "I apologize for interrupting but I wanted to take a moment to congratulate Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting on their accomplishment here today."

"They did remarkable work." A woman with hair as vibrantly red and tightly curled as Ms. Bunting spoke, putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "I have to commend you for believing in them despite any… unpleasantness that existed between us all in the past."

"Consider it all forgotten." Anna smiled at the woman, accepting an extended hand. "I firmly believe in the idea that a new year is a new chance to find our raised potentials. We started this past term on a high note and it continued."

"But you've not truly forgotten it all, have you?" A man, bearing the same contours and points to his face as Ms. Braithwaite turned Anna's attention. "No one ever truly forgets."

Anna narrowed her eyes at the tightness in the man's jaw and chewed the inside of her cheek before answering. "Perhaps not but I think forgiveness is as much a Christian concept as a moral one."

"So you've forgiven them then?"

Anna frowned, "I'm not sure I understand the question."

Mr. Braithwaite shrugged and gave a tight smile. "It's simple enough. Do you forgive them for being more privileged than yourself and proving their talent far succeeds your own?"

"I…" Anna blink, "I don't…"

"Theodore," The woman next to him pulled on his sleeve, "That's a horrible thing to say. She's only their teacher. She didn't mean anything by it all."

"Bu putting my daughter and her work up there like a freak showcase?" Mr. Braithwaite straightened, putting a hand on Ms. Braithwaite's shoulder that Anna noted more resembled a claw than a reassuring motion. "I'm sure you thought you'd get the best of her, putting her dabbles and doodles on display but no one will remember this little sideshow gimmick. And if you attempt to embarrass my daughter again I promise you, you'll be sorry."

"I think you've greatly misunderstood my intentions, Mr. Braithwaite-"

"Come Edna, we're leaving." He steered his daughter away but Anna caught the conflicting emotions in her eyes. One of fear, another of embarrassment, and a hint of something Anna wondered if she might consider revenge at the harsh verbal slap Anna received.

Whatever it was, a moment later the trio were far away, walking to join the others still wending their way toward the burgeoning tables. Anna could hardly turn herself to face the Buntings but most of that family had already turned away, the strain in their internal conversations reminiscent of those doing all they could to avoid an awkward encounter. But Ms. Bunting risked a step away from them, Anna catching the shock of fear in Mrs. Bunting's face, and whispered to Anna.

"Edna was grateful for the chance. Her father… He thinks she's no good at things like this and should give them up. You… You gave her a real chance."

"I hope I did." Anna nodded toward Ms. Bunting's family. "Best join them before I make this encounter more awkward."

She nodded and joined her family, leaving Anna alone by the stage. In the sudden quiet, the distant drone of voices and the growing hum of the cicadas the only disruption to her musings, Anna put her hands on her hips. Dropping her head a moment to breathe deeply, she almost jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder. But a turn in the direction of the arm revealed John.

"What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to come and see your production and Emmaline's performance so…" John spread his arms. "Here I am."

"Shouldn't you be with Emmaline?"

"She's with her grandmother."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "I thought you said you wouldn't be able to come."

"I told you I _might_ not make it." John winked at her. "But we both came and I thought I'd surprise you with my presence."

"Consider me surprised." Anna spread her arms and smiled before embracing him. When they separated she swatted her hand at his chest, "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that, surprise or no. You gave me a fright just now."

"Not half so bad as that rather nasty man just gave you." John pointed toward the shape of Mr. Braithwaite in the distant. "I never liked him."

"He's… Not the kind of father you are." Anna sighed, shaking her head. "He's the kind of man obsessed with an image of something and refuses to let the world lie until he gets it."

"I was tempted to knock his teeth in for how he spoke to you but decided that would be unwise." John winced as Anna raised her eyebrows at him. "I do hope you don't mind that I didn't intervene on your behalf."

"I don't think it would've done much good and fisticuffs on the lawn after a play that Ms. O'Brien already thought was a mistake would only worsen the reference I was hoping she'd deign to write me."

"You can just have Lady Mary write you one." John defended but Anna waved him off, moving back to the stage to close the curtains.

"Anyone looking into my reference would see through that in a heartbeat and you know it." Anna picked up a few of the things in the backstage as John joined her. "You know as well as I do that using a leg up like that, in any business, only causes trouble. Nepotism isn't a nice word."

"No." John's hands settled on her shoulders and Anna kept herself facing away from him to reach for something on one of the vanities. "But I know a nice word that you might like to try instead."

"Do you?" Anna went to move but John had stepped closer, crowding her between the vanity and forcing her to meet his eyes in the cracked mirror. "And what word do you think you've found as a balm to my wounds Captain?"

"Love, perhaps?" John's hands smoothed over her skirt and Anna caught the maneuver of his head to look for anyone else backstage with them. "Would you mind, so terribly, if I took a few moments to love my wife?"

"It's about all you'll have before I'm missed at the refreshments table." Anna tried to jibe at him but John's hands flipped up her skirt and pulled her slip and knickers out of the way so his fingers could work over her. She shuddered and held onto the vanity to keep herself upright. "You've a habit of his position, Captain."

"It allows me to watch you," He moved closer, using both hands to tease and coax her toward that finish he always sought to help her find. "And keeps you clothed enough that, in a few moments, you'll appear before the parents of your students looking no less mussed than a woman enduring the humid heat of an English summer."

Anna could not even attempt to laugh at his joke as his fingers worked more furiously to apply pressure at her clit and his other hand maneuvered three fingers into her. The sensation drove her hips back into his and she thrilled at the growing of him against her ass. Her position on the vanity gave her enough leverage to continue pressing back toward him until John's frenetic efficiency left her crying out sharply when she came.

Before she could even breathe, John attempted to pull away. One of her hands reached out and snatched his wrist. Meeting his eyes in the mirror, she pulled his arm across her body and sucked his fingers dry. It only took a moment for John's composure to falter and the click of his belt to forewarn her of his forward thrust.

Her back arched, bringing her head back toward John, and Anna groaned. The motion released her hold on his hand and he used it to secure her hips. They grappled a moment to keep her skirt and slip up at her waist, John's fingers digging into the material to keep the folds in place as he moved, and then moved.

With speed of the essence and not much time to contemplate other options like finesse or artistry, they huffed and growled together in a rut. Anna fluffed her skirt up, digging her arm back to try and find the bundle of nerves she needed to help her finish again. But the blind motions only succeeded in almost upsetting her balance. They paused long enough for her to recover and Anna whined as John pushed harder and faster, his smooth strokes still long but less focused.

The high held them both just within reach, so close Anna could taste it as her toes curled in her shoes, and she tilted her hips. A moan escaped the strangle of her throat as John's piston now struck exactly where she needed to continue the meteoric rise toward climax. One she helped John to with the clench and cling of her vaginal walls as she tightened her abdominal muscles and dropped her pelvic floor.

John stuttered and coughed as he came, groaning into her shoulder as his arms struggled to hold her close to him. Their adjustment in position, along with John's release, allowed her the impetus to crest the edge and join John in his finish. The vanity only wobbled slightly as they sagged toward it in their post-coital lethargy. But it was strong enough to hold them as John kissed Anna's cheek and set about righting them.

Anna grinned at the presence of John's handkerchief and quivered as he wiped her as clean as he could before drawing her knickers back in place. They restored one another's appearances with care before Anna pressed in to kiss John on the lips. She smiled at him as she pulled away, her hands on his chest.

"What's got you so happy Mrs. Bates?"

She shrugged, "It's been a long time since I had a chance to kiss my husband and I missed it."

"I've missed you too." He took her face between his hands. "Too much time Anna. We've lost too much time."

"We've got forever John." Anna kissed both of his palms before covering his hands with hers. "Time is relative."

"It doesn't feel relative when I'm so far away from you." John kissed the backs of Anna's hands and then tucked one into the crook of his arm to lead her from behind the stage and toward the milling crowds on the other ends of the grounds.

"You've a position of great importance and you're the best man for that job." Anna patted his arm, holding herself close to him. "Besides, if you were here all the time what would you do? The boredom would drive you mad and you know it. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself if you were without occupation."

"Maybe."

"I don't know," They both looked up to see Captain Barrow coming toward them. "Perhaps nothing to do is exactly what the Admiral needs."

"Captain," John nodded at the other man but neither saluted without the uniforms as triggers to do so. "What brings you this far north?"

"The headmistress is a friend of mine." Captain Barrow's eyes settled on Anna. "I seem to recall you once telling me you had no idea where the Admiral was."

"I didn't and even if I did, it was none of your business." Anna held herself straighter, "I'm surprised Ms. O'Brien would invite you. This doesn't exactly seem the kind of event that would take your interest."

"You'd be surprised what gets my interest." Captain Barrow's smile stretched a little too tightly for Anna's liking. "For instance, I've gathered a few rumors about you, Mrs. Bates, that I'm sure you'd be fascinated to hear about."

"I'm sure I wouldn't." Anna kept her lips in a tight smile of her own. "I'm not one for rumors. I prefer facts."

"Facts." Captain Barrow nodded and then pointed back toward the crowds near the tables. "Any of your other family here, Admiral? I'd hate to disappear without paying my respects to any of them."

"They'd do better if you didn't."

"All the same then." Captain Barrow clicked his heels and feigned a dramatic bow before making his way into the crowds around the refreshment tables.

"I like him even less now than I did nine months ago." Anna shook her head, "Why was he ever in consideration for your position?"

"Because for all his bluster and annoyance he's a good officer." John groaned, "The School Board's on their way over here. Probably to talk about money."

"I'll make myself scarce then." Anna kissed his cheek as quickly as she could so they would not draw attention to themselves and John kissed the back of her hand. "If you find yourself free of their clutches, come and find me."

John opened his mouth, pursed it, and then leaned down to whisper in her ear. "That spot where I kissed you after the Autumn Festival. Wait for me there."

Anna shivered, the thrill of it bubbling inside of her, and they kissed one another on the cheek before John moved to head off the School Board. She turned toward the refreshments table, exchanging a wave with Emmaline, when Ms. O'Brien stepped into her path. Pulling up short, Anna tried to stop herself making a surprised noise and merely pulled her lips tight into a forced smile.

"Ms. O'Brien, I do hope you enjoyed the performance."

"I didn't enjoy Mr. Braithwaite's insinuations that you used it to embarrass his daughter."

"I-"

"Mrs. Bates," Ms. O'Brien held up a hand, stopping Anna's argument. "Mr. Braithwaite is an ass and I would have told him so if there weren't other words in my lexicon more suited for it."

Anna blinked at her, "I'm sorry?"

"I believe Ms. Braithwaite and Ms. Bunting did remarkable work that far exceeded my expectations and while I'm the kind of woman who does have a difficult time admitting that I'm wrong, I do believe you opened my eyes to the true potential of the girls here." Ms. O'Brien shrugged a shoulder, "Some of them, anyway. And, perhaps in future, we should see more of what they can do if we give them a little more room to fly."

She paused, "Don't you agree?" Anna could only nod furiously. "Good. Then I'll only say it's a shame that you're not staying to see the fruits of your labors."

"One can't always sit in the shade of the trees they plant."

"Quite right." Ms. O'Brien dipped her head toward Anna. "Enjoy your afternoon and the refreshments. You deserve them."

"Oh." Anna clicked her teeth together softly, as if chewing some infinitesimally small bit of food, and watched Ms. O'Brien rejoin the guests at the luncheon. Shaking herself she joined the crowds for food and found herself tucked away in conversation with Emmaline and Mrs. Bates. But when she caught John's eye from a distance, she excused herself to 'mingle' with the other guests.

Most of the girls and their families had taken to tours of the grounds or to help them pack for their early departures. Anna wove amongst them, taking special care to avoid Mr. Braithwaite and his scowl in her direction, and worked her way to the shadowed corner of the school where John kissed her so many months ago. The place she could say her romance with him truly began.

The moment she rounded the corner, hands grabbed her. Anna grinned immediately and pushed John back against the stone. Their kisses, quicker and cheekier than earlier, had them hushing one another's giggles and laughs until they moaned into another round of kisses. A round of kisses that changed tenor almost immediately when Anna lifted her leg to John's hip to rub herself along the familiar bulge at the front of his trousers.

John growled into his grinning kiss and spun them with a crunch of the gravel to put Anna's back against the wall. A convenient stone lip just above the rise of her buttocks proved enough to sit her on it while he went to his knees. Anna did not even have time to whine about the potential for the gravel to leave betraying white stains on the knees and cuffs of his trousers before John had tossed her skirt over his head and freed her from her knickers so his tongue could lick over her.

Digging her fingers into his visible hair left them oily with his hair product but Anna did not care. There was no room in her body or mind to care when he continued his sensual assault on her clit. And with the additional blood running through her body and the semi-permanent state of sensitivity that pregnancy brought about in her, it was almost embarrassingly easier for his mouth to urge her over the edge to climax. And when he added his fingers for another round of teasing pleasure, Anna shuddered and rippled around him until she toppled over the glorious peak again.

In the haze, her body positively humming and thrumming with energy and exhaustion in equal measure, Anna noted John moving her knickers from her legs to leave her exposed to him. His belt clinked for the second time that day and Anna quickly wrapped her legs around his hips. When she tried to draw him closer, John tipped Anna back and shook his head.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." Her hands still clawed for his arms but John kept their torsos apart while running himself along the length of her so they stayed joined near the hips. "John, please?"

"I don't want to hurt the baby." They paused, one of his hands stroking the tiniest of bumps at her abdomen. "I wouldn't want to get too close and-"

"It's alright." Anna reached out a hand, running it over his face and waiting for John to bend over her to kiss. "Just… Don't keep me waiting."

John smiled wide and thrust in. "Never."

Anna's shoulders and upper-back pressed against the stone of the building, the very edge of her buttocks still on the decorative protrusion of stone, and John's hands at her hips holding her in place while he drove forward. Their position allowed him the depth they both craved but not the friction Anna needed as the gentle rise to that addicting peak only ebbed and flowed instead of rushing toward her. But John's fingers found her there and pressed determinedly until Anna cried out into the back of her hand.

He followed quickly after, drawing back only after they both stopped trembling. Anna received his hail of kisses and sighed as he set them both right with the trusty handkerchief in his pocket. But when he dipped to replace her knickers Anna shook her head and tucked them into his trouser pocket. The frown on his face had Anna kissing him playfully for a moment before going on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"I think I want you to return those to me later, Captain, when I can enjoy you more fully and devoid of all clothing."

The shiver under her fingers of his body thrilled her and Anna tightened her thighs together to stop herself succumbing to the allure of another clandestine meeting somewhere else on the grounds at that very moment. Warm air from his breath at her ear triggered another shiver at his response. "Is that an order, Mrs. Bates? Because if it is then I'll follow them to the letter."

"It is." Anna left a kiss on his cheek, licking at the skin before drawing back to meet his eyes. "And you'd better find us a cab for the hotel. They''ll be so busy ferrying the girls to the train I'd hate to think we'd have to wait."

John took her hand, kissing it hard, and nodded. "I'll be off then. Please find my mother and Emmaline and I'll meet you three at the front of the school."

"I will." Anna watched him go, taking a deep breath to let out as her hand swept over her abdomen. She gathered herself, walking in the opposite direction, and smiled when a hand landed on her shoulder. "John, I told you-"

But when she turned a hand clamped over her mouth and she screamed into the skin at the sight of Green's face. "I'm not John."

His hands switched positions and Anna tried to scream again but whatever chemical flooded her nose with an acridly nauseating stench through the cloth over her mouth muffled her attempts to make noise. It had her vision fading and her mind fogging while her fingers clawed toward the arm wrapping around her neck to press against her throat until she limply fell into the darkness of unconsciousness. The struggle to stay awake, to avoid the distant sounds of her screams from that night so long ago, were ignored as she fell into that abyss.

* * *

Anna blinked, her mind still swimming with the lingering scent of chemical as if the hairs in her nose caught and clung to the stench. She tried to focus but her body complained and her mind only fritzed and fuzzed in its recognition of location. Pushing herself to sit up, Anna immediately put her head back against whatever wall lay just behind her head. It shook and shuddered and urged Anna to bend over and vomit on the floor. A floor that vibrated under Anna's hands as she tried to hold herself in place when a wave of nausea forced her to vomit again.

A hand landed on her shoulder and Anna twisted away from it, knocking her shoulder against the shaking wall to try and fend off a possible attacker. But she sighed, tears immediately leaking over her eyes when she saw Emmaline crouching before her. Before she could speak, Anna pushed Emmaline back and vomited again.

She sagged back, trying to push herself away from the pool of sick, and pressed her palm to her forehead as the pounding behind her eyes finally took precedence over the roiling of her now empty stomach. Scrabbling into her pocket, Anna removed her handkerchief and wiped her mouth before trying to lay herself against the wall. A moment later she moved away from it, the steady shudder of the wall only exacerbating the pounding behind her eyes.

"Anna?" She blinked at Emmaline as she tried to breathe. "Are you alright?"

Anna shook her head, "I think there was something on whatever rag…" Her fingers pressed hard into her forehead to seek a respite from the headache. "And there was an arm around my throat… I think…"

Her fingers moved down her neck, shying away from tender skin. "I think I was knocked unconscious."

"Me too." Anna blinked at Emmaline as the girl drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them to rest her chin on them. "I… I already vomited in my corner."

Anna twisted over her shoulder to note a pile mimicking her own in an opposite corner. With a swallow, closing her eyes to avoid the next threat of nausea, Anna faced Emmaline again. "What… What happened to you?"

"I…" Emmaline shrugged, sniffing while wiping at her tears as her voice cracked. "I was with Grandmama and we were walking around the grounds, looking for you, when she tripped. I went to help her but someone knocked her down and when I tried to help her back up someone grabbed me. I couldn't get away and then something hit me on the head and I…"

She swallowed hard, "I couldn't fight back and I passed out."

"It's alright." Anna put a hand on Emmaline's shoulder but before she could reach there, the shaking of whatever held them shuddered again. "Where are we?"

"I think we're in a train." Emmaline pointed to the walls and Anna finally noticed a series of cracks in the walls. "I tried to take a peek but it didn't tell me anything. It's all just farmland and moors."

"Right." Anna blinked, narrowing her eyes to try and crawl toward a side that did not host any vomit. "Do you have any idea how long we've been here?"

"At least an hour or two, based on the sunlight but I think it might be raining." Both of them jumped when a crack of lightning lit the interior of their train car and a rumble of thunder boomed around them. "I think we're going north."

"Maybe." Anna clacked her teeth together and took a deep breath. "Did you see who took you?"

Emmaline shook her head. "A man, I think, but whomever it was all I know is that they are bigger than me. But that's not too hard to imagine." She pursed her lips, chewing the inside of her cheek. "Who took you? Did you see?"

"I did." Anna folded her arms over her chest, shivering as another tease of nausea fought against the consistent pound behind her eyes. "It was Mr. Green."

Emmaline frowned and then shook her head, "I thought he was in prison in London. That they were creating a case against him."

"So did I." Anna wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them up to mimic Emmaline's pose before dropping them as it pinched at her abdomen. "But I guess he's not there. Or maybe I just imagined it was him but I doubt it."

They were silent a moment until Emmaline's voice, softer now, broke through. "What do you think they want from us?"

"I don't know." Anna let her head hang back, shaking it slowly. "I don't know."

They moved closer to one another as the car holding them got colder, and they shivered together. The constant rocking set the pace for Anna's headache and she tried to keep her eyes closed to fight the thunder in her skull but even a constant doze did nothing to stop the rolling nausea. Emmaline settled into her and they fell sleep on one another, rousing in a hurry when the whistle of their train signaled the stop that had them throwing their hands out to stop themselves tumbling sideways.

The sliding door opened and they clutched at one another, as two shadowed figures stood in the rain setting a steady beat on the platform. One of the figures snorted, chuckling to himself as he flapped his fingers to summon them forward. "Come on ladies, we've not got time to waste and the daylight's waning."

Anna stood, keeping herself between the men and Emmaline. "What do you want with us?"

"You'll know in time Ms. Smith. Or…" Anna swallowed back another threat of nausea when she recognized Green's voice. "Is it Mrs. Bates now?"

"It doesn't matter what it is since you've yet to answer my question, Mr. Green." Anna held her breath, keeping her clutch on Emmaline's wrist. "What do you want with us?"

"Nothing your husband won't solve." Green jumped into the car, coming toward them and forcing Anna to press Emmaline back into the wall to keep her away from Green. "Now, get out of the car or I'll put you over my shoulder and do it myself and, I promise, you won't like that."

Anna nodded, "Please give us the space to do it ourselves. I'd hate to be indecent in our descent."

Green snorted, "You mean because you're not wearing knickers?" Anna clenched her jaw and Green laughed. "I could feel it when I lifted you into the car earlier. It was… tempting."

Anna swallowed, "Then you'll understand why we want to get out ourselves."

"Sure." Green nodded toward Emmaline. "Get yourselves out, without making noise, or you'll find this gets messier."

"We'll handle ourselves with as much decorum as we can manage." Anna flicked her eyes toward the other man, standing more stiffly at the car door. "And your friend? Will he be getting the car?"

"Captain Barrow's here to watch you both." Green walked to the door and jumped down. He nodded at Captain Barrow, "Make sure they don't try to run. I've not got time to catch them."

"Sure." Captain Barrow held up a hand. "Ladies?"

Anna descended first, taking Captain Barrow's hand, and stepped down. She met his eyes before he helped Emmaline down as well. Sneaking a look toward where Green spoke to a man handling the motors, the height and the breadth of the man triggering something in her memory, but turned back to Captain Barrow.

"How does this fair with your commission, Captain?" Captain Barrow squirmed but did not answer as he led them toward the motors. "What will happen to your Naval career when you risk it all helping this criminal?"

"He's helping me." Captain Barrow bit out, "Because he understands what's at stake. He understands what it all means."

"This won't win you a promotion, Captain."

"It will if the newest Admiral is no longer alive to take his place." Captain Barrow nodded toward the motor. "Please get inside. We've still got a ways to drive yet and it's getting dark."

"Do you value your career at all?" Anna hissed at him, the shock of red hair from the driver now arguing with Green making her blink at Emmaline's gasp. "If you help him and something happens to us… Someone will find out."

"If I don't help him then they'll already know that I aided and abetted an escaped convict." Captain Barrow shook his head. "I've got to see this through or it's all for naught. There's no other choice now."

"There are other choices." Anna grabbed at his coat as Green and the other man approached. "If you don't care for us then please, think of yourself."

"Is there a problem?" Green stopped just short of them and Captain Barrow brushed Anna's hands off him. "Can we proceed? I hear it's a long way to Tero Fell."

Anna stiffened and then met the eyes of the ginger-headed man. Her jaw dropped and the man was too slow putting a finger to his lips for Green not to notice. He frowned and eyed the man at his side. "I thought you said you didn't know them."

"I don't." Mr. Frazer's brogue rolled heavier than before, as if lying weighed on his very words. "But I know Tero Fell and-"

A crack rang out, breaking the steady patter of rain soaking through all of them, and Emmaline screeched before Captain Barrow could get a hand over her mouth. Anna's hands covered her mouth as Mr. Frazer stumbled back and hit the ground, holding tightly to his side. Green raised his gun again but Anna threw herself in front of the other man.

"He doesn't matter. He's not important."

"He's seen us." Green tried to move around her and Anna looked at Captain Barrow. "He'll tell someone where we've gone and I can't have that."

In the moment Green tried to round Anna, her eyes met Captain Barrow's. The man grabbed Emmaline around the waist and hoisted her over his shoulder as the train whistle blew. Anna's gasp distracted Green and he pivoted in time to see Captain Barrow running for the train now grinding its wheels toward the south. Green raised his arm to fire but Anna grabbed his elbow, pulling the barrel off target so the shot flew wide as Captain Barrow and Emmaline threw themselves into the car before the Captain slammed the door closed.

Green cursed and flung the gun away before manhandling Anna toward the motor. "Get in before I change my mind."

"What?"

"Get in." He hissed and took the driver's position, starting the motor as Anna shuffled over the backseat. "It'll still work with just you."

Anna flailed, looking toward the bleeding Mr. Frazer before noting the people calling out to them. The dark figures, soaked like everything else with the rain and the chill that hung even in summer, ran toward them as Green sped them away. She held to the seats, watching behind her as a few people found Mr. Frazer and immediately lifted him off the ground while a few others attempted to chase the motor on foot.

But they picked up speed and soon lost their pursuers in the rain and waning dusk, driving into the dark pull of night.


	20. The Benefits of Early Retirement

Her skin chaffed as she tried to slip her wrist out of the bonds again. Anna leaned back against the sofa, her legs extended, and looked around the dark room. A room that brimmed with light and joy when she sat there just six months previously. Now, with the rain beating a tattoo against the windows and only gray skies when it eased its relentless rhythm, the room felt dark and cold.

She shivered, almost as if triggered by the thought, and tried to pull the blanket from the back of the sofa closer. But with her hands tied facing in opposite directions and her body stiff as her ankles endured the swelling of their own bonds, Anna only risked upsetting her delicate position. With a huff of frustration, she hit her head on the padding of the sofa and settled in her seat.

Time, in all its infinite complexities, is an enemy of loneliness. The grandfather clock in the corner ticked steadily but began to prick at Anna's delicate nerves. It set the pace of the residual thumping in her head and allowed her pain and heart to beat in equal measure. Her position on the sofa, never quite resolved no matter the manipulations or machinations of her body, only pressed on the rise of her buttocks to leave her entire body throbbing although she sat still. Her shoulders seized with trying to keep the tension out of them while her legs fell asleep and tingled when she tried to move them. And all the while the growling in her stomach reminded her of the second life depending on her to find food soon.

The gray light in the room gave her enough to see but its stark and harsh approach only washed out once comforting colors. And she longed to reach for the lights to brighten the emptiness of the room. But she could hardly move, much less attempt to hop her way to the switches on the wall. So she sat in silence and waited.

When the clock finished striking another quarter of an hour, Anna could not summon the desire to tilt her head to see which one, M entered the room holding a tray. Anna tried to sit up better on the sofa but M only set the tray on a low table and came to her side to help her.

"Bloody man." She grumbled, the bite in her voice accompanying the shake in her head as she reseated Anna on the cushions. Anna hissed through her teeth as pins and needles shot through her buttocks and upper thighs at the change in position. "Sorry love. Kincade would've had you out of these in a minute but he was called away the moment they heard about Mr. Frazer and I warned him away from coming back here."

"Why?" Anna managed to speak, coughing past the crack in her voice.

M shook her head, "No need for the hot-headed Scot to get himself shot when that man's got full run of the Admiral's gun room. And best he provide comfort to Mrs. Frazer while her husband's at hospital in Inverness."

"Any word?"

M paused, putting Anna's hands in her lap before pulling the table closer to feed Anna some of the soup she revealed when she took the lid off the tureen. "Some. Admiral Bates is on his way, so the telegram said, and he's coming alone."

"No. He can't-"

"His wife and child are in danger." M held the spoon to Anna's lips and smoothed it in as if she fed invalids by the hundreds. "He'll come and obey all the demands set to him. Especially since he knows that Kincade's away, Mr. Frazer's already been shot, and I'm as much a captive here as you."

"I'm sorry you're mixed up in all this."

"Better I'm here than you're alone with that man." M shuddered, "I couldn't bear to think what he'd do to you alone in this house."

"How'd he even know about the house?"

"Who knows. At this point it's not as much a concern to me as getting him out of this house." M put another spoonful to Anna's mouth. "But the telegram also said that Emmaline's safe. She's back with her grandmother who, except for a nasty bruise, will be alright as well."

Anna swallowed, "What of Captain Barrow?"

"I'd imagine he's regretting his foolishness and whatever idiocy gave him the stupidity to free that man from prison and aid in your abduction." M resettled the bowl in her hands and went to feed Anna again. "I've not done this since I was a nurse in Crimea. Feels like a lifetime ago."

"I'm grateful." Anna opened her mouth for another swallow. "When is John due to arrive?"

"The telegram didn't say but, from what I know of the train schedules, he's due by this evening. Perhaps tomorrow morning if he can't get a motor." M sighed, "It's a complicated mess we're in here."

Anna nodded, taking another swallow. "What's he hope to accomplish?"

"The man's mad, that's all there is to it." M handled another spoonful. "But from what I gather, he wants to kill the Admiral."

"Kill him?"

M shrugged, "I don't know. It's just what I've gathered and he's got the guns to himself. Been pacing around in that room practically all day as if planning for an assault he'll lead one-manned."

"What chance does John have?"

"I guess that depends entirely on how good of a shot that Mr. Green is." M helped Anna finish the soup and began tearing off chunks of bread to run around the interior of the bowl before feeding them to her. "My mother swore by this soup. Said it kept babies healthy."

"Does it?"

"Kept us healthy and I fed it to every one of my children." M managed a small smile, "All five of them grew up strong and capable so I'd say it works."

"I'm grateful to you." Anna let out a breath, "Can you help me lay on my side? I can't sit like this much more or I won't be able to move and I need to get weight off my abdomen. It's…"

"I know the feeling." M pushed the food away, helping Anna drink a glass of water before working with her to get Anna on her stomach on the sofa. "If only I'd had one of those guns when that man entered the house. I would've blown his bloody head off and then wiped you clean of the blood."

"For reasons I'm sure you'd understand," Anna settled her tied hands near her face, "Thank you for not."

"The trauma'd get you more than this will I think." M puffed out her cheeks with a gust of air. "It'll all be over soon. One way or the other."

"I'd rather not think of what one way or the other is unless then end with all of us surviving this."

"I'll settle for us surviving this and that man getting what's coming to him." M brushed at Anna's hair before pushing off the sofa to take the tray. "You need anything you just call for me."

"Can you turn on the light?" Anna nodded toward the ceiling but M shook her head. "He wants to torture us with darkness?"

"Doesn't want anyone out there to know where we are in the house." M snorted, "Man's a fool. The Admiral knows every inch of this place and he'd know it in the dark or the light."

"I'll just trust to John then."

"Always best, as far as I'm concerned." M took the tray away and Anna closed her eyes and tried to sleep on the sofa.

Shots woke her. She flinched and twitched, holding herself still in the darkness of the room. Dim slivers of moonlight broke through the heavy clouds still heaving rain like their pregnancies were as much water as hers was life. Through those slivers Anna noted flashes of yellow and orange and white light breaking through the house. The large entryway to the sitting room where she still curled on the sofa allowed her a direct view to the far end where the dining room and the gun room formed the perfect symmetry to the house's design. Rooms flashing with light until the shots stopped.

Swallowing and shaking, her body confused and distressed as she desired to stay still as a statute and also release all the tension holding her muscles in a steady clamp, forced Anna to try and push herself up. The motion twisted her still-tied ankles and her legs fell from the sofa to hit the floor sideways. She could not stop the slide and her knees crashed into the rug-covered wood before landing hard on her side. Her shoulder sent a jagged signal of pain to her brain, matching the earlier bruising to her other shoulder as if her body craved a symmetry of aches to match the architectural symmetry of the house.

She pushed herself up as much as she was able and dragged herself on her elbows over the rug. It molded and rumpled under her, stopping her progress as she succeeded in dragging it over the floor with her until she gave up trying to move with a huffing groan. Her forehead bumped the coarse material and she growled into the fabric before pushing herself up again.

Hands landed on her and Anna tried to twist away before an Irish voice forced her to pause. "I'm going to cut you loose but if you move I might cut you. Please hold still."

Anna froze as the chill of a blade slid between her hands and sawed the rope holding her wrists together. Once freed, her hands dropped uselessly to the side as normal blood flow finally resumed to give life to tried and tingling limbs. Her ankles too, swollen and leaden, bounced off the floor for a moment once freed. But gentle hands took one ankle and carefully massaged at the swell until it subsided enough to allow Anna to properly move her foot for the first time in hours.

"Thank you." She managed, pushing herself to sit up and blinking in the dark to try and get a look at the face of her angel of mercy. "Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Tom Branson. We met briefly at your wedding."

"John's witness?"

"That's me." The temporary glint of light off teeth gave Anna a sigh of relief. "The Admiral said he needed some assistance handling a rather dangerous man and the Commander and I were only too happy to help."

"Commander?" Anna frowned and then flashed on the memory. "Tanner?"

"Talbot. Henry Talbot, if we've being proper." Another set of hands grabbed her other ankle and restored the flow of blood to her neglected foot as Branson released her first one to check her hands. "It's a pleasure to be of assistance to you at this time of… difficulty, Mrs. Bates."

"Thank you." Anna tried to move, the presence of the two men both comforting in their vague familiarity but also unsettling in the persistent darkness. "Why hasn't anyone turned on the lights?"

"The Admiral temporarily shut off the power so Green couldn't use it to surprise us. He's getting it back running while that woman… N-"

"M."

'Right, her, keeps a gun on the body of Green."

Anna stopped, "What?"

"He's dead." Branson's voice sounded closer at her side and he reached across her body for her other hand as most of the pins and needles subsided and her body regained proper function.

"Mostly dead, we think. It's dark so…" Talbot released her ankle as a gentle hum overtook the house and, a moment later, Anna blinked against the harshness of the light when his long fingers flipped the switch on the wall. "I guess now we can go and see if the bugger survived."

Anna went to stand and Branson immediately dipped to help her, Talbot leaving the room to cross the entryway toward the gunroom where Anna noted M standing sentinel with a large shotgun pressed carefully to her shoulder. They started toward her when the front door opened. The minute both of them registered the other, Anna ducked under Branson's hold and ran to John's.

His arms almost crushed her but Anna leaned into the hold, allowing herself to sob into his clothing. They smell of gun smoke and mud, rain and sweat, but she did not care. John wrapped her closer and they just held one another in midst of it all. Nothing else matter but them, in that moment.

In the days that followed, they made their way south from Tero Fell. M and Kincade gladly took back the house, cleaning the broken glass, the gashes in the walls, the powder, and the guns until only the lingering smell of new paint gave away that anything changed within the confines of the house. Even the bloodstains left by Green were scrubbed from the boards and bleached from the rugs.

Green's body traveled on the same train as John, Anna, Talbot, and Branson as they hastened back to London. The telegram exchanges between Inverness and London almost drove the poor station master mad as he ferried news from the Naval Office, the head of the prison where Green escaped, and the London police. All of them demanding answers, proof, a body, and a report on why three senior officers of the British Navy had decided to go AWOL to Scotland. And so, with only a brief stop at Lallybroch to confirm the survival and health of Mr. Frazer, they hastened back to London to face the host of questions.

Anna almost did not allow John to leave her at the station at Downton but the presence of Mrs. Bates and Emmaline there gave her the comfort she needed as her husband retook his seat with his officers in their train carriage. She almost ran after the train, stopped by the end of the platform, as John lowered his window to lean out and watch her until the smoke obscured her from view. Only then did Anna accept her escorts' assistance to get back to Downton.

With all the girls already gone for the summer and only a few teachers left, Anna relished the lack of interrogation into her disappearance. As she discovered, given her relatively short time in captivity, many did not even realize what took place. Not until the papers in Yorkshire finally caught wind of the events in Inverness and their correlation to the suspicious circumstances in London. Then the reporters and interested parties descended on Downton until the combined ferocity of a blustering Mr. Carson and his angry Scotswoman wife, forced them back to the tree line. But there they waited, for photographs and tidbits the gossips of the town would share until they lost interest and vanished back to their holes.

In the week following her return, Anna spent her time packing her things. Emmaline helped her sort through her office and classroom to find those things Anna wanted to keep and those she would leave for the next instructor- a woman named Gwen Harding Anna met briefly when Mrs. Hughes gave her a tour of the school. Mrs. Bates sorted Anna's room and packed their things, sending the larger trunks and cases to her house in London before following them a few days later with Emmaline, despite the girl's protestations that she wanted to stay by Anna's side.

But Anna relished the last few days alone. Alone to walk the grounds of the school where she grew up and returned with such promise. Alone to appreciate the beauty of the places that signaled points of growth and romance with John. And alone to remember that all of it was snatched brutally and cruelly away from her by a man who lay dead in a cold gray in a London prison yard.

On one of these walks, one that took her to the depressions in the grass by the creek where the stage once stood, Anna jumped at the presence of Ms. O'Brien. The woman's lips were pursed but not as if a storm cloud readied to break over her features. Instead, as if struggling to keep words in her mouth long enough to say what she wanted and not lose her composure in a threatening torrent of platitudes and supplications.

They stood still, both measuring one another a moment, before Ms. O'Brien finally spoke. "I'm here to apologize to you, Mrs. Bates."

"Whatever for?"

"My interest, in this school, was for the girls. Their safety and education were paramount to me. They were all that mattered and I was willing to combat their parents, the School Board, and even the teachers if I thought they would ruin the reputation and standing of this institution." She took a breath, "And I believe that I failed them in that priority. I failed you."

"I think your intentions, Ms. O'Brien, were noble and sincere." Anna waved her hand toward the school. "You served your priorities well and the girls are better for it. Downton's better for it."

"They're all I have and, like more people who grew tunnel vision in their myopic focuses, I forgot the purpose of my service."

"I doubt that."

"I wrote Thomas about what happened to you, after Christmas." Anna did not answer, her jaw tightening slightly as the memories of the last six months frothed and bubbled in her mind at the reminder. "I was hoping it might help him in his attempt to gain the Admiralcy instead of Admiral Bates and provided him the details of the rumors that implicated your husband as the perpetrator of those actions."

"Did you?" Anna swallowed, "Why?"

"Because I thought that Thomas, one of my oldest friends, deserved something I've come to realize he would only have abused." Ms. O'Brien hung her head. "I'm sure there's no way to adequately beg your pardon or offer my sincere apologies since I've nothing but shame to offer and I wouldn't dare beg your pity."

"In all fairness, I don't think I'd have any to offer."

"Nor should you." Ms. O'Brien sniffed, wiping at her eyes with a finger. "I didn't expect it of him. I… I know he was devious, that he'd done things in the past with information, to get ahead. But I didn't… I didn't think he'd ever participate in anything that would harm someone. I didn't think he'd use the information to help spring Mr. Green from jail."

"I trust that you didn't intend for what happened to Emmaline and I."

"But it did and I failed this school." Ms. O'Brien sighed, walking toward the edge of the creek as if attempting to look back at Downton would be painful. "I came here with a purpose of bettering this school. My interest was, and has always been, the success of these girls. They were my priority and no one else. They were all I have. And I… I lost that."

Anna had nothing to say as Ms. O'Brien took a deep breath and pivoted to face Downton. "I'm leaving tomorrow. I've got a job offer in America that I'll be taking as soon as possible. It's what's best for everyone and their new headmistress will succeed where I failed them."

"Who is it?"

"Mrs. Hughes." Ms. O'Brien managed a small smile, "I think she always understood her role better than I did and that's why she deserves the position. She'll do the best with it."

"I agree she'll be an astounding headmistress." Anna reached out a hand, retracting it a moment as her fingers curled toward her palm, and then setting it firmly on Ms. O'Brien's shoulder. "But you were also a remarkable headmistress and Downton will be less for you not being here. There was no better advocate for these girls or this institution."

"Perhaps." Ms. O'Brien patted Anna's hand once and then moved from under it. "I wish you luck Mrs. Bates, in whatever endeavors you attempt in future."

"I've already taken a position in Scotland." Anna shrugged, "A small school but they need good teachers and they need people to believe in them."

"Mrs. Hughes would beg you to stay."

"She already did." Anna smiled, "But this isn't my place anymore than it is yours now. That's been taken from us and now we've got to forge ourselves anew."

"I think so." Ms. O'Brien nodded at her. "Goodbye Mrs. Bates."

"Goodbye Ms. O'Brien." Anna watched the woman walk away, head held high, and took a moment to shed a few tears for her.

She reached London the next evening and met John at his mother's house. He explained to the three women how his actions, along with those of Commander Talbot and Lieutenant Branson, forced a hearing and a series of interviews that left all three of them dangerously close to serving time in the brig for their insurrections. But the committee ruled that extenuating circumstances, and the testimony of the now incarcerated Captain Barrow, mitigated their actions.

Commander Talbot and Lieutenant Branson were suspended on leave, pending potential further action but that was all show, John informed them. Their status as AWOL was nothing the committee had not seen before but the justification left them in the difficult position of punishing bravery or displaying leniency at disobedience. Their choice, in the end, was to serve both masters with slaps on the wrist and private commendations.

That was the moment that John announced his real news. His hearings, slightly more serious given he issued the orders to his subordinates and therefore carried the weight of their decisions as well as his own, forced him to confront the possibility of losing his command altogether. And, he informed them, allowed him to take a third option the committee agreed to in an instant. He accepted an honorable discharge, full pension, and no marks on his record if he resigned his commission immediately. And so Admiral John Bates became the shortest serving admiral in the history of the British Navy.

"John," Anna grabbed for his hand, "But it was your life."

"No," He covered her hands with his, looking from her to his mother and then to his daughter. "You all are. And this will allow me to protect you all better in future. It'll allow me to be there for you all in the future."

"The only people who might want to hurt us are in prison or dead now." Mrs. Bates huffed, shaking her head. "Men and their posturing."

She excused herself to bed, Emmaline following shortly afterward, to leave Anna and John as the only ones at the table. Anna kissed over John's hands, squeezing them before letting go. "Why?"

"What I do put you in danger."

"I could say the same thing about what I did."

"And notice you already left your post." Anna could not argue as John moved one of his hands to her cheek, running his calloused thumb over her skin. "This isn't a bad thing Anna. It's not giving up on a dream."

"But it is."

"Not if you're my new dream." He leaned forward, the pressure from his hand urging her to the do the same so he could kiss her forehead. "We'll make a new life for ourselves. We'll go to Tero Fell and start again."

"After what happened there?"

"Would that bother you?"

Anna shrugged, "I already took a position at the local school there so I guess the argument's academic. And it's the only place we'll all fit. This house is far too small for the four of us."

"Soon to be five." John bent double to press a kiss to Anna's abdomen. "And it's far too cramped for what I want to do to you."

Anna flushed, "I beg your pardon?"

"The walls," John jerked his head toward the ceiling. "They're too thin. And the tub is too small. And there's no good fireplace for-"

"Alright," Anna put her fingers over his mouth, "I think you've said enough because you'll make me come over all insensible."

"You're assuming that's not exactly what I want." John grinned, kissing her fingers and then her lips. "Will you come to bed with me?"

"Always."

They did not use lights. Even the stove and fireplace stayed cold as they joined one another in their small room. Given the thinness of the walls John mentioned, when he went to speak, Anna's hand found his mouth in the dark and covered it. Going on her tiptoes she whispered in his ear, enjoying the thrill that ran through his body.

"Don't speak."

He obeyed and they found one another in the dark. Their hands moved with relative confidence over their bodies as they loosened buttons by touch and found skin almost by accident. Careful steps led them to the bed and before John could stop her, Anna pressed his back to the bed. Laying down with as little sound as he could manage, Anna set to kissing over him until his hand left stroking her skin and hair to give his teeth something to bite

Before he could come, the taste of him already hinting in her mouth, Anna rose up and mounted him. The lights from outside the window, dusky in the oil of the lamps, only allowed her shadowed visions of the glint in his eyes. Pinpricks of reflected light that allowed her to track her progress as she rose and fell on him before rolling and rocking. His hands at her hips guided her as they moved with all the grace of the ocean and no more hurry than the gentle burble of a stream. And when they came together, both only emitting soft whimpers and moans to the silence of the night, they settled together without a word.

In the days that followed, Anna and Mrs. Bates took the train north to Inverness to prepare Tero Fell for their arrival. Emmaline and John stayed behind in London to close the house and sell it before John returned Emmaline to Downton. With her final year, and the promise from Mrs. Hughes that her safety would be of paramount importance, Anna and Mrs. Bates stayed in Downton until term started to keep her company. They only parted after promises to write often and lengthily before the steam and whistle of the train separated them again.

Anna's term started days later and her students, in ages far more varied than before and speaking in accents she struggled to understand, quickly took to her. By the time Emmaline came north for the Christmas holidays, Anna could claim to have settled rather comfortably into her life in the highlands. Almost as comfortably as John had in contractual obligations with the Scottish shipping companies that considered having the expertise of a British Naval Officer at their beck and call more than they could ever hope to gain before. And under the lights of Christmas at Tero Fell, Anna basked in the delivery of their child.

He came bawling and screeching into the world, all wrinkled pink skin and balled fists, to wrap in the blanket M prepared and wash under the care of Mrs. Bates. Anna slumped into Emmaline's arms while the midwife checked her over until the afterbirth delivered and she was deemed well. Then they allowed Anna to hold her son for the first time and even cleaned them both up enough to allow John into the room to see his wife and child.

Everyone else left, giving Anna and John time alone with their now snuggling and snuffling child. John's hand shook as he placed it delicately on the bald head of their boy and he choked on whatever words he wanted to attempt. Anna only beamed at him, "We've a son John."

"I'm a father. Again." He spluttered, wiping at his eyes before laughing out his surprise. "I've a son."

"John Junior."

John nodded, "John Alexander Bates."

"JAB?" Anna shook her head. "We've doomed the poor boy."

John only laughed and held Anna closer as their son turned into Anna's chest, whimpering slightly as he got comfortable. "Will you marry me?"

Anna blinked at him. "I've already married you. Don't tell me it was so long ago that you've forgotten."

"That's not what I meant." He took a breath, "I told you once that I wanted my proposal to be in a more romantic setting. That I wanted to plan a wedding for the summer or the fall where you'd wear a crown of flowers or twined leaves and a beautiful white dress."

"You said we'd dance together and laugh until our faces cracked from smiling." Anna put her head into John's shoulder, "That you wanted to take me to a place somewhere and we'd make it ours for as long as we could stay there."

"That's right." His fingers stroked through her hair. "There's a place, just a stone's throw from the edge of the estate, called Crags, that's for sale. We could buy it, make it beautiful, and that could be our little hideaway."

"Our own little escape?" Anna smiled. "I like it."

"Summer then." John kissed her head. "Jack'll be old enough and-"

"Jack?" Anna pulled away. "His name is John."

"We can't have two Johns running around." John shrugged, "He'll be 'Jack' for now and, when he gets older, he'll be John again."

"Jack." Anna laughed when the boy twisted in her arms before getting comfortable again. "I think he likes it."

"He's his father's son."

"Probably already true." Anna kissed Jack's head. "Summer then."

The time passed faster than Anna expected. Between caring for Jack, continuing to teach, and John overseeing the repairs to Crags, and Emmaline's matriculation from Downton, summer arrived with a speed only seen by broken clocks with spinning hands. But before she had time to comprehend it, Anna sat in a chair as Emmaline and Mrs. Bates ringed her hair with a crown of flowers. The dress around her seemed more appropriate for a fairy princess with its linings of silver and gold and embroidery of flowers that decorated the fabric. But when she stepped from the house to walk the distance to where John stood near the priest, Anna regretted none of the extravagance that went into the piece.

Their hands intertwined and they repeated the vows they first said more than a year before. John added another ring to her finger and she to his so the clink of the double bands allowed them a moment to smile at one another. And they kissed to the gurgling giggle of Jack and the clapping of their guests. The small group about as intimate as the Registrar's office so long ago, even under the striking blue sky of the graciously sunny day.

Their party, set with a luncheon and cake they shared with their guests, ended in the early afternoon and left them enough time for Anna to put Jack down for a nap so he could not cry when she left him. With careful instructions to M and Mrs. Bates, both of whom appeared unamused by the worries of a first-time mother, Anna climbed into the motor with John as he drove them the distance to the estate just over the hills of Tero Fell. An estate that bordered a beautiful lake and boasted a manor smaller than Tero Fell but perfect for the intimate escape the honeymoon was to them.

John carried Anna over the threshold and straight to their master bedroom. There they divested one another of their clothing as quickly as possible, amidst giggles and laughter when they struck ticklish spots, trapped one another in their clothing, and struggled with buttons or ties. But they settled together, John over Anna, and paused. All it took was John's lips on hers for Anna to find the courage to turn onto her stomach and kiss him over her shoulder.

"Like our first honeymoon."

He only grinned and kissed down her back. Anna sighed at the spread of her legs and then gasped into the pillow when John dragged his tongue over her. She shifted her hips, writhing into his ministrations and raised her hips to meet the laps of his tongue that drank whatever wetness she wept for him. All it took was a few determined motions from a mouth and fingers that knew her intimately, and Anna came with a cry.

They came together after that, John's hands smoothing over her body and seeking her breasts and clit as he quickly succumbed to whatever urging Anna's ass rubbing in the cradle of his hips produced. The smooth motions of his mouth were barely reflected in the frenzied rut of their bodies together and Anna reveled in the shunting thrust of him into her as she used her knees in the mattress and her palms in the bed to meet each one and give as well as she gave. Every motion of their bodies working one another into a frantic delirium until they came with growling groans and a set of undignified grunts into the bed as they settled.

Anna dragged her fingers over John's chest in the aftermath, her cheek pressed just above his heart while his fingers tangled in her hair. She took a deep breath, matching her breathing to his, and smiled against his skin. Pressing a kiss just above his heartbeat, Anna pushed herself up to kiss him.

John returned the motion, the slightest hint of a frown passing over his face. Anna returned the frown and they both tried to match the furrowing of their brows until they dissolved into giggles again. Another round of kisses ensued until John could finally speak. "What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason to kiss my husband?"

"Maybe." He tickled at her and Anna flinched away. His sigh brought her back to focus on him, giving her own frown this time.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to marry you last summer." He sighed, "But then you were taken and… And everything else."

Anna laid back down, wrapping an arm around John's waist to hold herself close to him. "I call it the summer that was a winter."

"The weather was bad enough." John pulled her closer. "But I had it all planned. I was going to go down on one knee where we kissed at Autumn Festival, once term was officially over, and ask you. We'd come here, have the wedding, and then stay at Tero Fell."

"You'd still be in your dress uniform." Anna dragged a finger up his chest, making John flinch when she hit a ticklish spot of her own. "Although I thought you looked rather handsome in your suit today."

"Thank you." John shifted, moving over Anna. "I thought you looked ravishing today. Like a fairy queen walking down the aisle."

"The dress was magnificent." Anna tilted her hips as John's fingers quested between her legs. "Emmaline's embroidery has gotten impeccable."

"It has but," John lowered his lips to hers, "I don't think we should speak now."

"Why?" Anna breathed, sighing into the delicate motions of John's hands.

"Because I want you to feel." John's lips ghosted over her skin. "Just feel how much I love you."

And she did. Every crook and stroke of his fingers inside her, every brush of his lips against her skin, and each gliding motion of his hands on her body. When his mouth settled at her breasts, Anna arched into him, her fingers going into his hair. When he pressed toward her, taking advantage of her temporary haze after her climax, she worked her leg over his hip. And each movement of them together took them higher and higher until they came together.

When they settled again, their breathing regulating together as they continued to touch and move together, Anna leaned up to whisper in John's ear. "I kissed you because you make me happy."

"Oh?" John kissed her back, running his fingers over her cheek. "You make me very happy and I'll accept any kiss you give me. Each one's a gift."

"Good." Anna kissed him again, "Because you've given me a gift too."

"Which is?"

Anna pulled his hand to abdomen. "I hope you don't mind being a father for a third time because-"

She never finished her comment, John's kisses overtaking her until they were together again. In the place they made their own, away from the world. A place they made for themselves and found the most exquisite of happinesses.


End file.
